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Monday, October 10, 2011

Why Am I Always So Anxious?

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I used to wonder at this. Why am I always anxious? Indeed, I used to think, many years ago, that everyone felt as I did. But of course they don't and if you think that way, please dispel the thought from your mind. The reason for this feeling goes back many, many thousands of years, back to the time when we were running around in skins and living in caves.
Grab a nice cup of tea or coffee, sit back in your favourite chair and let your imagination travel back to a young man of probably around 18 years of age, who decides to go out with a number of his companions to hunt.
This is in the Paleolithic period, so we're probably looking at about 25,000 years ago. Now, this chap wouldn't be a Neanderthal; those poor old fellows had died out a long time before then. No, he'd be very similar to us, and in his own way, just as intelligent.
Suddenly, he sees the tracks of a small deer. He kneels and examines the hoof-marks. There's a bit of a breeze, but the edges of the tracks are razor sharp, so they're obviously fresh. He forgets everything else, including the whereabouts of his friends. He follows the tracks, but suddenly hears the howl of a wolf.
Now, how would you feel? Remember, he doesn't carry anything as sophisticated even as a bow and arrow. All he has is his spear and skinning knife. It's a sunny day and he looks up to find the sun past its zenith. It really doesn't matter where he goes, the wolves will track him and take him down. Climb a tree? Could do but there are some pretty nasty things in trees, too! A cave? Same reasoning. Goodness knows what he'd find in a cave.
Another howl, this time closer. Why didn't he think of his companions? Why did he just wander off like that? He lives in an area which is warm and the dusk is relatively short. Now he hears the wolf even closer and this time, its playmates have joined it.
He's terrified. Sweat pours off him when all of a sudden, he hears the sounds that make his heart sing! His companions have come to find him. He hears them calling his name and he follows the sound until once more he's united with them. Although of course he'd never label it as such, he's just suffered a bout of anxiety.
These days, we aren't too likely to find a pack of real wolves chasing us in Times Square! Plenty of human wolves, but they aren't going to kill us, unless we've been very silly indeed.
The real unpleasantness about General Anxiety Disorder and the reason so many wonder why am I always so anxious, is because so much of it comes on through your imagination. For no sensible reason, you may take it into your head that you're in danger of losing your job.
If this does happen to you, stop. Sit down, and ask yourself just how rational is this thought? When you face anxiety head on like that, and allow the rational side of your brain to take over, you find that these thoughts will soon vanish.
You'll find that a visit to Mike Bond's site, http://wealthyoldman.com, will give you the opportunity of learning so much about psychological disorders, as well as hypnosis. Just click on here, Bundles, and you'll find all manner of subjects about which to read and learn.
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Friday, October 7, 2011

Life Is Too Short

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I don't want to scare anyone but let's be honesty here people, life is too short. Tragedies happen, and can happen to anyone. One minute everything can be dandy and the next... Well you know what I mean.
I ask this very challenging question 'If your life was taken away from you tomorrow, would you honestly be happy with what you have done in your life'?
I don't won't you to have the mentality of 'Oh I will get around to it', or 'that can wait till tomorrow', because who knows, your tomorrow may never come. So start taking action towards your desired goals. Become a 'Doer' instead of a 'Gunna'! Stop making excuses up for your lack of action towards your desired goals, your better than that, and you deserve more than that.
I just want you all to know that life is short, so enjoy every minute...Nay every second you have on this wonderful world. Remember this world is what you make it to be. So I encourage you to make it the best one you possibly can.
Start waking up with an attitude of gratitude; be thankful for everything you have, and be thankful for what you will get (see how I didn't say want) in your life, have some faith that you will get it. Tell the people close to you that you love them every day, build your relationships to the next level.
Yes things can be overwhelming sometimes and it can feel like you are getting the short straw, but when this happen just take a step back and put your life into perspective.
This verse really helps gets my message across:
Leviticus 19:18 Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.
This principal is a testament that the rest of the meaningless stuff going on in your world doesn't matter. This verse is God's greatest commandment on how we should live our lives every day of every second. Some of you might not be spiritual, and might not believe in it. But putting spirituality aside for a second, this verse makes great sense.
I know it can be difficult sometimes, however if you just act on a consistent basis to live your life like this you will be amazed on how much better each day can be.
It seriously doesn't matter about who did what, who has what, if you got this or that, blah blah blah blah blah..... None of it matters, what truly matters is you being happy with who you truly are. Going back to that verse again it says this; 'but thou shalt love they neighbour (meaning everyone) as thyself. Now tell me this, how can you love and respect others if you don't love and respect yourself? YOU CAN'T, or you can pretend to, but who wants to live a life of pretend?
So build your self-esteem up and be happy with you, you are unique, you are extraordinary, and you can do anything you want in this life if you believe it.
Love your life and the people you share it with, and treating others as you would want to be treated.
If you are living with regret, frustration, stress, or harden relationships then I encourage you to let it go. Forgive those that have caused you your pain and forgive yourself, don't hold on to any of that or your pride, let it go because 'Life Is Too Short'.
Mitchell Villani Works With One Of Australia's Leading Innovation Commercialization Companies, Raising Millions Of Dollars Every Year To Propel Companies Into Global Expansion, & Is Also An Entrepreneur In Network Marketing.
http://optunemastermind.com " This Link Is Where Mitchell Villani's Views & Mindset Changed To SUCCEED In His Career & His Business.
Visit Mitch Villain's Blog At http://www.makeitwithmitch.com for more tips and tools on personal development and entrepreneurial skills
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Monday, October 3, 2011

How to Boost Self-Esteem When Times Get Tough

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When you're going through a difficult time in life, it can be hard to think about boosting your self-esteem. It seems hard enough to attempt to boost self-esteem when times are good.
During times of struggle it can be especially hard to feel good about ourselves. Events like illness, loss of employment, or relationship break-ups can hit you hard and take a toll your self-esteem. You may be thinking that these issues are entirely your fault and that if you were somehow "better" then it wouldn't have happened at all. Normally, you would realize that this type of rationale isn't realistic, but during times of stress, it's easy to think this way.
These strategies can give your self-esteem a boost when times get tough:
1.) Focus on what is good. It's easy to dwell on all the bad that is happening to you, but during tough times, it's especially important to remind yourself of all the good that surrounds you as well.
  • Make a list of what is special in your life. Whether it's a great spouse, fabulous kids, or even just having a place to live.
  • Making yourself aware of these good things not only makes you feel better, but helps you to see that they couldn't have happened without you and your positive contributions.
  • Going through difficult times is all part of the normal maturation process. Everyone faces a hard time at one point or another in their lives. Like my grandma used to always say "this too shall pass".
2.) Carve out some "you" time. You are the most important person in your life. If you are not taking care of yourself, there is no way you can effectively take care of others around you. During periods of exacerbated stress, it's more important than ever to make time for yourself.
  • Pick a friend whom you trust or a family member and spend some time doing something you really enjoy. This will help you to relax and regroup and blow off some steam.
  • Choose an activity you can do alone that gives you pleasure. Take a bath, read a book, go for a walk alone. This can be a great stress relief and make you feel better.
3.) Your situation will improve - believe it! Your mind will follow your instructions. If you believe that things will get worse then they will. If you honestly believe that things will get better, then your mind will put you in situations to make that come true.
  • Having the belief that things will get better will help you to feel more confident about yourself and keep you feeling more positive. This attitude will provide you with the forward progress you need to get past this trying time.
At some point or another, we are all going to go through a difficult time, whether prepared for it or not. Understanding that changing your negative thoughts into something more positive and productive will not only help improve your self-esteem during times of stress, it will strengthen your chances for a better outcome.
Get your free pdf download on 25 ways to boost your self esteem. And read more articles on improving self-esteem by visiting www.RescueYourSelfEsteem.com a popular website with advice, tips, and resources on personal growth founded by Julianna Gauthier.
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Sunday, October 2, 2011

Don't Try and Control the Uncontrollable!

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How much time do you spend worrying or getting stressed about things that you have little or no control over? By doing this you can end up feeling very uncertain, overwhelmed, stressed and powerless. However it is very easy to think like this and get in a state. It can also stop you focusing on the areas that you can influence and control. So what can you do about it? Here are some tips to help you:
Understand what is within and outside of your control. By identifying what is within and outside your control you can start to move forward more positively e.g. you can control how often your business contacts your existing customers but you cannot control what the media say about consumer confidence.
Accept that you cannot control the uncontrollable. By accepting the things that you have little or no control over you will be surprised at how quickly you start to feel more in control. You can choose how you think about these things and if you spend less time worrying about them you have more time to focus on the areas you can control.
Change your reaction to things that you have little or no control over. Now you understand the things that you cannot control you can change your reaction to them e.g. you cannot control another person's behaviour, but you can choose to change how you react to them.
Focus on the areas that are within your control. Once you have identified the areas that are within and outside your control, focus on those areas that you have control over.
Set goals for the areas within your control. Decide on what you want to achieve in the areas that are within your control, whether this be in your personal or business life. By understanding what you want to achieve you are more likely to get there and not get distracted.
Plan the action you are going to take. Make a plan of how you are going to achieve your goals. A plan will give a focus to your activity, as well as helping you to understand the different things you need to do.
Take action on the things you can control. By taking action on the things you can control you will start to feel much more in control and you will start making progress. You will also find you have more time for these areas as you will not be worrying about all those areas you cannot do anything about.
Share with others. Often it is difficult to see for yourself that you are getting worried about something that is outside your control. Therefore when you feel anxious, overwhelmed or stressed it may help to talk to someone else about it. Try talking to someone who is impartial and not involved in your day-to- day personal or business life as they will give a fresh perspective and help you see the wood from the trees.
Remember that you have a choice. Don't forget that you have a choice about how you think and feel about things, as well as how you react to them.
If you are trying to control the uncontrollable hopefully this article will have given you some ideas as to how to move forward.
Liz Makin, Makin It Happen - Coaching, Mentoring & Stress Management
Liz Makin provides personalised business coaching, business mentoring and stress management services to business owners, directors, managers and professionals. If you would like further information or to use any of our services please refer to the Makin It Happen - Coaching, Mentoring & Stress Management website at http://makinithappen.co.uk.
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Monday, September 26, 2011

How To Change Your Thoughts in 3 Simple Steps

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The quality of your life is reflective of the quality of your thoughts. Are you a glass is half full or half empty person? Your thoughts create your life. Do you believe people are out to get you? Then that's the experience you'll have. Or do you believe that people go out of their way to help you? If so, you'll notice people showing up to help. Which are you most like?
You choose what you think. You are either consciously creating your thoughts or passively reacting to the habit of thinking. What do you spend the majority of your time thinking about? Is it positive or negative? You can change your thoughts and focus in 3 simple steps.
  1. Make your success list! Think of all the best moments of your life. How did they feel? What were those moments you were at your best or succeeded? Now on a separate sheet of paper write down all your failures. How many have you overcome or turned around? Those get added to your success list too.
  2. Make your joy list. Write down everything that brings you joy or makes you happy. Take a few uninterrupted moments to do this. Now write the percentage of time you spend doing these activities. This is only a gauge to know where you are starting. Now mark your top 5 activities. Put them on your calendar.
  3. Make your laughter list. There will most likely be overlap here. Think about everything that makes you laugh and write out this list; Friends, activities, things you find funny. What about movies, comedians, or books? What we are doing is creating a menu of things you can do when you have pockets of time and need to laugh.
Print out a copy of these lists and put it somewhere where you'll see it everyday. Make a point to read it everyday. You get what you focus on. This will help you spend your time thinking about your successes which will bring more successes. Laughter will be available when you need it most.
Laughter is a holistic approach. First you must find remind yourself what's working in your life, where you have succeeded and what your best moments have been thus far. Then compile a list of things make you happy and finally write out your laughter list. Let these become your bucket list. Start checking items off your list every week, month or year depending on the size. Some will become reoccurring activities you do daily, weekly or monthly. The more you find time in your schedule for these the better your results will be.
In order to bring more joy and laughter into your life, focus on improving the quality of your thoughts. You'll find that the more you consciously choose your thoughts the happier and lighter you'll become.
T. Harv Eker says, "Thoughts lead to Feelings which Lead to Actions which lead to Results." Thoughts come first. So the first step is to consciously start choosing to focus on what's working, what brings us joy and what makes us laugh. Life will be challenging and throw in some curve balls but stick with it and you'll notice you bounce back quicker and easier each time. Change your thoughts and you'll change your results. You can change your life at the speed of thought and laughter is just around the corner!
Getting different results means taking a different action. Take a different action and see what happens! Let the laughter flow!! You'll be feeling the benefits of laughter in no time. Here's to a life of laughter!
Christiana has been studying laughter since January 2002 after a natural healer told her she did laugh enough. She transformed her life with laughter. Now her passion is helping others do the same to attract the life they want and to improve their health.
For great tips, tools and videos visit her website http://benefitsoflaughter.com. Now you can laugh yourself healthy and happy!
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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

What's The Difference Between Selfishness And Self Respect?

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Do you know that most people are confused between being/feeling selfish and making choices that are self respecting? Do you know that these are opposites and never represent the same thing? Do you know that being/feeling selfish is always toxic to you and that having self respect is always life enhancing? Do you know that it is possible to live perpetually in the latter while at the same time completely eradicating the former from one's life? Finally, do you know that in order to do this one must have the desire and courage to respect the integrity of what I call their Life Force Energy (LFE)? So what is this all about, you ask?
In order to elucidate this vital topic let me introduce what these two diverse experiences actually feel like.
To feel/be selfish means to hoard, be self centered, self aggrandising, uncaring, and self absorbed, etc. All of this stems from some (often more than one) underlying need to prop up one's self esteem, self worth, self image, reputation etc. In other words it is driven by an underlying "need" (and that is the key word) that is often associated with fears of being controlled, used, exploited, deprived, helplessness, feeling unworthy, being left out, and feeling like a victim to name a few.
When one engages "selfish" behaviours it invariably makes the person feel worse in many ways i.e. it further lowers self worth and self esteem, makes one feel guilty, bad, uncaring, unloving, cruel, anxious, vulnerable, bad about one's self and all this has the tendency to lower LFE. A decrease in LFE (or the vital energy of life) is experienced as tiredness, heaviness in the body, decreased mood, depression, enthusiasm and motivation for life.
Another way of saying this is that the "integrity" (or wholeness) of the LFE is compromised by such actions/choices.
Conversely "self respecting" choices (which others may sometimes mis-perceive/mis-interpret) as selfish) actually support, enhance or increase the LFE thus making one feel worthy, alive (or enlivened), joyful, confident, fulfilled, at peace with one's self, whole, strong, resilient, independent, good about one's self, happy, motivated, enthusiastic, self assured and like one "knows" they are on the right track.
To put it simply selfishness is "life (energy) depleting" and self respect is "life (energy) enhancing". In order to discern whether one's LFE is going up or down it is at first necessary to know what it feels like to have LFE coursing through one's physical body. This is where the problem and hence the confusion around this important topic arises.
So many people are walking around in a LFE depleted state that even if it went down they would not have enough awareness to be conscious of it. That's like saying that if you have never washed for 6 months would you know the difference in how clean (or dirty) you felt if you happened to fall into a puddle of mud? Hardly!
So why is LFE so depleted in "normal" human beings, you ask?
Well primarily because LFE is progressively and systematically depleted from the mind/body/energy field each time one experiences a negative (life depleting/stressful) event that then gets "recorded" as a negative memory in that mind/body. The accumulation of such memories is what many call their "life history".
These memories behave as what I call "LFE parasites" that constantly deplete LFE thus leading to death (after all that's what it means to have one's LFE depleted from the mind/body i.e. dying).
It is now possible to completely eradicate these LFE parasites (i.e. negative memories) from within thereby progressively restoring one to life. In do so the ability to discern life enhancing (i.e. self respecting) choices from life depleting choices (e.g. selfish acts) will become more clearly evident.
As I'm sure you can see the benefits of being able to discern between the two is absolutely vital to all aspects of your life.
To learn more about a new coaching process that can help take you there kindly visit the web site below where you can also request a free introductory telephone/Skype consultation to help you get started on your journey back to life.
Nick Arrizza MD, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor is now an International Expert Life, Relationship & Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).
A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Consultation and a Free E-copy of my new book are available upon request. (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)
Email: drnick@telecoaching4u.com
Web Site: http://telecoaching4u.com
Copyright © 2011, Nick Arrizza M.D., All Rights Reserved Worldwide (Feel free to share this with others)
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Friday, August 12, 2011

How To Be Confident In The Way You Look

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As a woman, how you look has everything to do with you and absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. If you don't believe this, I have to ask why.
As women, we are surrounded by magazine covers, women taking all their clothes off on television and movies, and the Real Housewives. Oh, you thought I didn't notice? I did honey. I'm a woman too.
With all of this what I refer to as "outside in" mentality, it's hard to walk with confidence, knowing, and complete peace in how you look. In fact, sometimes it feels like there is a golden standard - an "ideal" body that every woman is supposed to have. I thought I would sit down today and take the time to tell you there is no standard and why.
The first reason there's no standard is because there's no standard. Let me explain. How can there be a standard if we're all different? If one person could ever answer that question for me, I would love to engage in the conversation. The simple fact of the matter is, there is no standard. This goes right along with my mantra that there is no "normal." What is "normal" for you is not "normal" to the woman down the street - it's just not. If there was a standard, we would all have the exact same genes, bone structures, and body types.
Likewise, what I might consider standard behavior may be considered not appropriate to another person, based on their upbringing, values, experiences, morals, and the like.
How a woman looks is absolutely no different. Which leads me to my next point and the second reason there's no standard...
No one knows better than you what your "best" is. I get literally sick when I hear a man say to a woman she isn't at her best. Really? You get to decide that? You're a part of my body now? I didn't even know!
I'm being sarcastic, but this is what I want to say sometimes when I hear of this going on.
I'm going to take a moment and expel another myth here. Myth: My best is my "smallest."
A man is not justified in telling you what your best is just because it doesn't match how you looked when you met him or how you looked at your quote, unquote "smallest." You're not justified in telling yourself this either. Your BEST at 25 and your BEST at 35 might look a whole lot different. Some women will look the same way they did at 65 as they did at 25 (and I'm speaking about basic body structure, build & weight). That's just how some women's genes are. If that's what a man wants, let him go find that and be happy about it. And if that's you, then great! For the rest of you, don't feel such a weight to carry your "best" from over 10 years ago. Hormones change, lifestyles change, and so does the way we process foods. Not to mention the women I've heard say, "I love my booty now that I had a baby!"
We have to be okay continuously re-defining what our best is. When you're confident, the people around you are confident.
The final reason there is no standard is because preference exists. I'm sure if every single person on this planet wanted one type of standard person, the world would be out of balance, literally.
The beauty of the woman is she was created in all shapes and sizes - and for good reason - to establish balance. No, I'm not referring to putting us all on a huge earthly scale. I'm merely saying that the beauty is in the variety.
Your best is when no one looks exactly like you. Your best is your standard.
I have to say this too. If you know you're not at your best, you are the only person who will have the passion enough to make that happen because only you know what it is. If someone tells you you're not at your best and you know you are, move along and let them make the decisions they will make.
If you agree with them, then let it become about you, not them.
Never do it for them, do it for you.
If you re-define your best according to another person, you will resent them for having to maintain it. If you do it for you, you'll always feel empowered and rewarded. This makes a HUGE difference in you being confident in the way you look!
As a results-driven empowerment coach and mentor, I bridge the gap between stuck and success for devoted women in life and business.
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