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Monday, February 6, 2012

My Road to Inner Success

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In western culture (and increasingly it seems, eastern culture, too) the idea of being a "success" is rather narrowly defined. Typically, we claim that someone is successful if they've climbed the ladder of whatever profession they might in - whether that's sales, entertainment, healthcare, sports, politics or anything else. Or we might call someone successful if they've achieved a certain social standing or popularity.
I'm not here to suggest that these examples above aren't indications of a certain kind of success. However, I am here to boldly state that the common notion of success is really...well, it's unsuccessful. Let me explain.
When we view success only as an outward phenomenon - something that matters to other people, or that matters to a social circle - we deny the other aspect of life that is just as important: our inner world. And by "inner world," I don't mean something mystical or new age. I mean the world of personal peace, of being grounded, or being in touch with your body, and of course, of living a stress-free life. These elements are just as important as any other, outward manifestation of success.
In fact, it's arguable that at times success in the inner world is more important than success anywhere else, because if you aren't happy, peaceful and healthy, how can you even enjoy the outer success in the first place?
Frankly, that's the situation that I found myself in not all that long ago. I was in sales for over 25 years, with the last 9+ years as a sales manager for a Fortune 500 company. On average, I had 10-14 sales representatives reporting to me. It was an EXTREMELY busy time, and yes, it was also financially rewarding. On the outside, I was successful.
But on the inside, I was kind of a wreck. Work was eating up all of my time and energy, and the physical and mental toll was becoming too heavy to bear. Of course, I was "stuck" in my outward success and couldn't slow down - and so I started a pattern of working 12-hour days and sleeping 10-12 hours a night. Weekends passed as a blur of grocery shopping, laundry, napping and trying to catch up with work. I was stressed out to the MAX and ready to break apart.
Again, the point I'm trying to make here is that although I was still successful "on the outside," I was simply not succeeding on the inside - in my own personal world. And to make things even more challenging, I was diagnosed with a stress-induced disorder called fibromyalgia, and was almost certainly headed for even more health problems.
That's when I realized that if I didn't DO SOMETHING and break out of my cycle, I was probably going to collapse - and then both my outer success and inner success would be - to put it mildly - very, very unsuccessful. I didn't want to get to that point where I fell to the floor (maybe even literally) and didn't have the stamina or the motivation to get back up.
Somehow, I found the strength (maybe it was the last bit that I had left to use), took some time off from work, and made some tough decisions. I eliminated everything that stressed me out -- including several friends who were triggering stressful reactions within me, or who were what I call "stress enablers." It was hard to do this, but we're talking self-preservation here. It had to be done.
I read all the stress-related books and articles I could get my hands on, and took classes and seminars in lots of stress management modalities. I won't say that this experience was totally useless - there were kernels of wisdom and insight here and there - but it really didn't re-ignite my inner flame. That only happened when I hired a Life Coach, who helped me apply what I had learned to my own life. It took awhile but I finally started to feel better. And eventually, I experienced a feeling of joy that I had not felt in a very long time.
I put together what I learned from my illness and from my research, and today I am committed to maintaining an ongoing balance in my life. Now my personal mission is to help women avoid the stress and suffering that will make them sick, and empower them to live happier and more successful lives.
And yes, when I say "successful," you know that I mean INNER AND OUTER SUCCESS. Because in the truest sense, as I personally experienced, you either have both...or neither.
If you enjoyed these tips and would like more practical sales strategies, visit Zero Stress Selling today. Sue is known for her relaxed and authentic customized sales training.
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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Do You Believe In Yourself? 4 Tips to Boost Your Self-Esteem

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Do you find it difficult to believe in yourself and your abilities? If so read this article on self-esteem and boost your self-confidence for success. It is easier than you may think once you realize what affects your confidence and how to improve it.
Some of the things that can determine and mold your self-esteem. The family you were raised in or the friends that you spent time with. One of the problems is our society is so negative and it can really have a negative impact on your level of confidence if you are not careful. Here are some tips to help you out.
Verbal abuse
Emotional abuse
Sexual abuse
These all play a part in how you perceive yourself.
4 Tips to boost your self-esteem
1 - Take the time to reflect on the different areas of your abilities and see which ones seem weak and then work on strengthening and improving on these areas. When you are weak in an area of your abilities this really affects the outcome and level of success so the more you improve your skill level the better the end result.
2 - Teach and help others in areas that you are good at this helps boost your level of self-confidence and it helps you see that you have abilities that you can perform well and help others with. This will encourage you to do more in others areas.
3 - Spend time around others who have a high level of self-esteem this will help you to raise your level of confidence. You can learn a lot from the people you spend time with and it is proven that you become a product of the people you spend time with so if you are spending time around others with good self-confidence this will boost your self-esteem.
4 - Always try to do your best at everything that you do and even work at raising the bar to a higher level. This gives you something positive to strive for and before you know it you will be achieving the level of results and success that you have been dreaming of.
You see it is just doing simple yet effective strategies that help you to believe in yourself and that is really important and crucial for reaching the level of success that you desire. If you take the time to work on these tips and apply them in your daily life it can help you improve your self-confidence. If you are not happy with your life then it is up to you to change it.
Would you like more tips on self-esteem, happiness and success then start by getting my free ebook
http://www.sunnyjames.com/topfb.html
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Sunny James is a life coach & motivational speaker helping others to reach their goals and live the life of their dreams.
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Friday, February 3, 2012

The Secrets to Overcoming Adversity

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Adversity is an intrinsic part of the human condition. If you have a passion for life, you have to embrace every aspect of life including adversity. Throughout your life, you'll be haunted by all kinds of challenges. Some are going to be more difficult than others. The key is to learn how to appreciate the process of overcoming adversity in your life. The difficulties you experience are what shape you as a person. Whether such personal evolution results in positive or negative change is entirely up to you. Learn to overcome these challenges and take control of your destiny. Use these guidelines to push past the barriers of strife and reach your most desired goals:
1. Develop Your Emotional Resilience
Rarely will you find a challenge that focuses entirely on your physical abilities. Most of the adversity you will encounter in your life will test your mental and emotional strength. You will encounter failures, breakups and personal losses. Although these events don't "physically" hurt you, there is a lot of emotional and psychological trauma involved. Guide your personal evolution towards the direction of emotional resilience. Understand that adversity is part of life. Understand that pain and suffering are inevitable consequences of mortal existence. Overcoming adversity is easier done with an enlightened perspective. Sharpen your wits; it is your main weapon against emotional vulnerability.
2. Establish External Sources of Support
One reason why some people fail in the face of adversity is because of one tragic flaw - pride. When you face a difficult challenge, be humble enough to admit that you might need help. Sometimes overcoming adversity requires teamwork. Let your loved ones - your friends and family - assist you in your time of need. Your ability to work with others is a positive sign of a progressing personal evolution.
3. Stay Positive
Your lifetime struggle with adversity is mostly going to be a metaphysical battle. It is the resilience of your will and the strength of your resolve that are going to be constantly challenged. Make sure that your personal evolution is headed towards an attitude of optimism. Overcoming adversity is made more difficult by the presence of pessimism and self-doubt. A positive attitude will win you more battles in your war against adversity.
4. Keep Your Composure
Adversity is the invisible enemy. You have no visual perception of it, but you know that it's there when you're struck with fear. Whatever happens, don't panic. As long as you remain composed, as long as you keep your wits, you will find a way. Fearful situations are actually good for your personal evolution. When you get used to the fear, when you can act intelligently even when you're afraid, overcoming adversity is going to be much easier.
5. Get Back on the Horse
Overcoming adversity is like being in a boxing match without judges or time constraints. The only way you're going to lose is if you don't get up after being knocked down. But if you keep getting back up, you can't be defeated. Life can beat you up and knock you down, but as long as you have it in you to get back on your feet, you can overcome anything. In your own personal evolution, teach yourself to get up after every fall.
The most successful people in the world have turned overcoming adversity into an art form. Some of them have even created teams and methods to deal with different challenges. Most of what you'll learn with regard to defeating this invisible enemy is going to be learned through your own personal experiences. Just make sure that you're ready to learn the lessons life is about to teach you. Let these lessons guide your personal evolution into someone who not only welcomes adversity, but actively seeks out new challenges.
Julie Olson knows that overcoming adversity is an intrinsic part of life. Visit her site to learn more about pushing past challenges and breaking down barriers.
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Thursday, February 2, 2012

Is It Worry, Anxiety or Panic? Why Women Worry So Much

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The Merriam Webster dictionary defines worry as feeling or experiencing concern or anxiety. Anxiety is defined as fearful concern or interest with an added apprehensiveness. Panic is a sudden overpowering fright or acute extreme anxiety. Thus, these three terms are highly interrelated. Excessive worry may lead to anxiety which if left uncontrolled can develop into full-blown panic.
Anxiety is currently at all time high in the United States with prices skyrocketing and bank accounts shrinking. If you're a woman, you're feeling the stress even more than most men. Chronic stress has been linked to a multitude of physical ailments including heart disease, Type II diabetes, certain types of cancer and many others. To make matters worse, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, more than 28 percent of American adults have an anxiety disorder. Women are sixty percent more likely to be in this group than men. This is thought to be due to a wide range of components encompassing biological, cultural and psychological influences.
Women tend to worry about a variety of things including social issues (both personal and global), money matters, physical health and job problems. Women may even worry about worrying. This happens frequently enough that psychologists have even come up with a term for it: meta-worry. As a rule, women worry much more intensely than men. Women also tend to see more risk in situations and develop more anxieties than men. As seen in the statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health, women are twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with anxiety disorders.
The explanation for the gender divide may be partly mechanical and partly chemical. First, men and women are wired differently. Secondly, reproductive hormones like progesterone and estrogen are thought to play a role in anxiety. These are present in much higher concentrations in women than men (although men do make them). Another hormone that may be involved in causing or exacerbating anxiety is over-production of hormones from the thyroid gland. Thyroid problems occur in more women than men and these can lead to increased anxiety. Social protocols could be a factor as well: women feeling anxious might be more willing to talk to someone about their feelings while men, when stressed, might handle things differently, e.g. going out for a drink with the guys.
In the book, Women Who Worry Too Much by Holly Hazlett-Stevens, PhD, the author employs the results of the most current clinical research to help individuals format a plan everyone (even men) can use to reduce worry. Worry, anxiety and panic are a continuum of reactions and emotions we feel when looking toward the future and anticipating potential bad outcomes.
In Dr. Hazlett-Stevens' book, she covers what worry is, how it differs from anxiety and how it could become a chronic condition. She explains how to employ useful and easy mindfulness and relaxation techniques to avoid dwelling on the issues we can't control. Her step-by-step exercises enable people to manage their worries and anxieties through awareness, perspective, and addressing and facing fears to focusing on the present instead of the future. Using these techniques, excessive worry and eventual panic can be avoided altogether, enabling everyone to lead less stressful lives. If these strategies aren't enough to ease anxiety, additional treatment may include medication, therapy or both. A successful treatment plan must be decided on a case-by-case basis, depending on the patient, the doctor and the disorder itself.
Nancy Travers, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, specializes in all types of relationships; dating, existing relationships, family relationships, and relationships with friends and business relationships. She also helps her clients overcome anxiety and depression through talk therapy as well as through hypnosis. What sets her apart from many other counselors is that she has counseled in the gay/lesbian community for over 10 years. She also has experience counseling families with elder care issues. Nancy has been in practice for over 15 years and can provide you with the tools you need to approach dating and relationships with confidence. Visit her website at http://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com.
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Got Anxiety at Work? How the Media and the Economy Don't Help

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It's no surprise that more people these days are suffering from anxiety. Most of this anxiety and stress stems from the sluggish economy and the constant worry of a job loss. And if it's not a job loss, then the "survivors" at work are enduring increased work responsibilities. Many are scared of taking a vacation or leaving their Blackberries and cell phones turned off at night or on weekends. Many reason that if put in more hours, their bosses will pass them over during layoffs. Maybe so, but at what cost?
The media does help fuel this stress by reporting on a weakened consumer confidence (the consumer sentiment index fell to 73.6 from 74.4 in January, according to Thomson Reuters/University of Michigan. Economists surveyed by MarketWatch) and a slow recovery. But what can we do about it?
The first thing we need to realize is that anxiety can be overcome in small increments and that we don't need to let it control all of our waking lives at the expense of our health. Those who suffer from constant anxiety experience high blood pressure, loss of sleep, low morale, difficulty concentrating, headaches, and stomach upset. Even if you don't experience these symptoms, anxiety can wreak havoc on your household and make your kids more anxious. Lastly, anxiety can make you gain weight since stress and anxiety increases the stress hormone, cortisol. Cortisol stores fat in the stomach area, which increases your chances of heart disease and stroke. Additionally, more stress causes more eating of non nutritious foods.
Even if you think being a workaholic will keep your job safe and make you more appear more dependable, this tactic will hurt you in the long term. You'll crash and burn and/or be more susceptible to illness.
Find Ways to Cope with Anxiety at Work
The first thing to do when dealing with anxiety is to acknowledge you have a problem. Then you have to commit to a relaxation and/or stress reduction program that will force you to make some changes. These changes may seem unreasonable at first, but they're necessary to reduce your stress and prolong your life.
• Organize your time by using a Dayplanner to schedule out tasks. In the morning, write down three tasks that you need to get done by the end of the day. Also organize your work space - throw away mail and email you don't need. Break up large tasks into smaller ones.
• Do your best work when you feel it's your optimal time. That can mean 4am or 5pm, depending on your bio-clock.
• Take frequent breaks of 20 minutes every 90 minutes. Don't eat lunch at your desk.
• Get enough sleep and that means 7-8 hours a night.
• Take a week-long vacation that's in a different zip code for true rejuvenation.
• Eat smaller meals and eat healthy snacks. Drink alcohol in moderation.
• Practice relaxation techniques which can be as simple as doing nothing for 30 minutes everyday. Try walking, deep breathing, yoga and meditation.
• Exercise for 60 minutes at least three times a week. Try a new class or combine aerobics and free weight lifting.
• Turn off the TV before bed if the news stresses you out. Try to find positive news stories and read uplifting articles and columns to shift your negative thinking.
As mentioned above, reducing stress and anxiety does take work and some time to fall into a healthy habit. Try recruiting your friends and family to make sure you leave work at work and that you're not checking your Blackberry at the family dinner table. With a little work at relaxing (how ironic!) you'll see a difference in your social interactions and physical well-being. You will also see an increase in your work productivity and counteract those naysayers in the media.
Nancy Travers, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, specializes in all types of relationships; dating, existing relationships, family relationships, and relationships with friends and business relationships. She also helps her clients overcome anxiety and depression through talk therapy as well as through hypnosis. What sets her apart from many other counselors is that she has counseled in the gay/lesbian community for over 10 years. She also has experience counseling families with elder care issues. Nancy has been in practice for over 15 years and can provide you with the tools you need to approach dating and relationships with confidence. Visit her website at http://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com.
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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Easy Ways To Reduce Stress Today

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Photo: today.colostate.edu/

Do you go home every single day feeling extremely tired? If yes then you are probably suffering from stress. You are not alone. There are millions of people who are trying their best to help reduce stress in their lives. Many are not successful, perhaps because they tend to forget how to simplify their methods.
This is because there are many easy-to-follow stress management activities that we can all do. You do not need the most expensive gadgets and the latest food supplements to keep you calm and relaxed. Often the only thing you need is time. Yes, you must allocate maybe 30 minutes to an hour each day for such activities.
So to help you in your goal to reduce stress from your life, I have listed below some tips you may want to follow.
Meditation is a good technique you can immediately try wherever you may be. Whether you are at work or in your home, you only need a few minutes just to try this one. Get a quiet room that you can use by yourself so you will have the least amount of distraction. The simplest way to do this is to just sit down, close your eyes and indulge in the complete silence. This is one type of natural stress relief method that is worth a try.
Try a massage. It has always been a tried and tested technique to help relieve the stress from your body. There are many types of massages but the most popular ones are Swedish massage, shiatsu, hot stone, and Thai massage. It is best that you consult with your therapist to know which massage is ideal for your needs.
Go out with your friends. Perhaps it has been quite a long time since you last had a nice chat with your buddies. Now is the time to do it. Let your friends help you in relieving your stress even if they are not aware that they are doing it. A lunch out or a dinner with them might be just the right kind of activity you need.
And lastly, try to smile a lot. Smiling is a great way to relax and will help you feel positive the rest of the day. And not only that, you can gain new friends simply by smiling. Many people want to know how to be happy when in fact all they really need to do is to smile.
So there you have it. These are just some of the tips you may want to try to help reduce stress today. What is important is you do something right now or else you risk of suffering even more when you could have already get rid of stress from your life.
Try the best stress management activities for a healthier you. There are natural stress relief techniques for this purpose.
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Three Easy Stages to Help Make Hard Decisions

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In 2009, I had started my own company while at the same time working as a senior manager at a another company. I enjoyed both because each job provided me with an exciting life of travel challenges, and connecting with people. The time for both jobs was grueling, and I have a wonderful family who was not getting my attention, or any attention. My mind was always working even when I was not officially working. Even on the weekends my head was buried in work like an ostrich burying its head in the sand. I had decided it was time to choose one job and give myself back the time I need for my family, but my dream was to own and run my own company. My crazy dilemma, do I give up my dream or continue with a riskier step towards running my company? The difference between the two jobs were: security of a larger company versus a startup with high risk and potential high reward.
Every day we face with decisions which help us gain our desires. In those decisions, we give up one path for another path, many times not every regretting or looking back upon our decision. As the stakes get bigger, we tend to stew upon the decision resulting in stressful situations. To reduce stress, fallow three stages of a decision: clarity, risk, and reward. The first stage is clarity. We must be super clear on what we want and why we want a goal. If we are not clear, the decisions tend to be blurred and we may choose a path which leads us away from our deepest desires like a dense fog closing around our own reasoning. When my decision needed to be made, I reached back into what I really wanted, I wanted to run my own company and be my own boss. The goal of owning my own company was so powerful and so clear that it has pushed me through nights, weekends, and mornings working to achieve that dream. Even with the clarity of my dream, I still needed the other two stages to unravel before I could make the final decision.
The second piece to this decision puzzle is pondering the risk in the decision. When risk outweighs the reward, the desire to achieve the dream may never be enough to push through a decision. For example, I have read numerous stories about people who trained and suffered to climb Mt. Everest only to turn back within feet of the summit because the risk of losing their life became too great. The risk of death became higher than the reward of reaching the summit. Luckily for me, my decision did not involve death, but my risks were losing my family, becoming unemployed, and losing a secure, steady income. There is a risk in about anything, but the risk of a startup targets the personal bank account. The company that employed me paid me a good salary and had fantastic benefits. Now I might take a path with a lower salary and fewer benefits. In this situation, just evaluating the risk by itself would have turned me back to my secure job, but I needed to consider the reward before concluding on a decision.
The reward of a secure job means safety, certainty, and a continued growth in life. The reward of a startup could mean a significant income change and a different way of life for me and my family. In some ways, it is like gambling, do you take a risk on a high bet or keep your money in your pocket? Each person has a different way of evaluating the reward. In the case of choosing one job over another, my dream of running my own company had the much higher reward. When reward out ways risks and your decision aligns with your goal, the path forward burns through the dense fog of uncertainty. The dream of running my own company had come true, and I embraced the decision and quit my secure job for the high reward. I have never looked back.
As a quick recap, the three stages of decisions are: clarity, risk and reward. When we have crystal clear goals and the rewards out way the risk, our decision for one path over another becomes easily to make. After you make a big decision, take a moment, celebrate and move on. If the ugly head of remorse sets up remind yourself what your goal is and reflect upon its clear lenses.
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