Self Esteem Building Tips

 By Susan B Ward 

Photo: healthylifestyleplus.com

If you are suffering with a distinct lack of self-esteem and confidence right now, you need to pull yourself out of the slump you have found yourself in. It is easier said than done, of course, but with these helpful tips, you will find that you will soon be feeling back to your normal self in no time at all.
1. Appreciate yourself! Come on now; give yourself a break! Think about all of those certificates that you have earned over the years! Who cares if it was just for the dancing school that you went to when you was 8 or the school swimming team that you was a part of in high school; you were good at things and you still are! You should be happy and proud of all of your achievements over the years and sometimes, you just need to get out that old photo album or certificate folder and remind yourself of how fabulous you were and still are!
2. Socialize! Sometimes all it takes for you to feel better is some time out with friends. This doesn't have to mean a particularly drunken Friday night or an expensive dinner somewhere. Why not just have a lazy night at yours and invite all of your friends over for a pizza and a bottle of wine or two. Being alone in your own company is one of the worst things that you can do when you are suffering with low self-esteem and confidence as you will have time and space to criticize everything about yourself. Hang out with people that you like and trust and you will soon remember how it feels to be good enough.
3. Acceptance. Sometimes you just have to remember that everyone makes mistakes every now and again. There is no need for you to berate yourself or lessen your self-worth! You may have weaknesses but at the same time, you have strengths too. There is an incredibly fine line between constructively criticizing yourself and then just being plain critical of everything you do. Who cares that you are no good with numbers? I'm sure you can make a great dinner party for six people without even batting an eyelid.
4. Have a positive mental attitude. If you think everything is going to go wrong, there is a good chance that it will do. There is nothing wrong with thinking on the bright side every once in a while and if that means getting your hopes up everyone now and then; do it!

Susan is a full-time freelance writer. She is an avid traveler and reader and enjoys writing on health & fitness, travel, parenting, relationships and personal development.

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6 Secrets To Combat Work Stress

By Jessie Malory  

Photo: glamour.com/health-fitness
 
Work stress is something that many employees find themselves taking time off for. However, it is also something that is possible to avoid relatively easily. Here are just six ways to help combat and eliminate stress in the workplace.
Schedule Regular Massages
Massages are a great way to help the body relax and unwind. Professionals locate the areas of the body where the tension is held and remove the knots, eliminating the tension and the stress felt from that. They also help to reduce the blood pressure and reduce pain felt in various parts of the body. This is not just about someone pampering his or herself; there are certain massages that are better for this than others and it is possible to have them prescribed by a doctor and see a professional and licensed massage therapist - this way the cost is covered by medical insurance.
Exercise Regularly
Exercising is good for the body and something that the body needs every day. It not only helps to keep the muscle moving but also leads to the release of endorphins and serotonin in the brain; chemicals that help with promoting happiness and pain relief. Being happier will help with reducing the stress felt in the workplace. It is a great idea to start exercising on a lunch break, even just for 10 or 15 minutes. This will help to release the endorphins to combat the problems experienced during the morning and be ready for the afternoon.
Delegate Tasks
As people move up the career ladder, they are given more responsibilities. That does not mean that everything has to be done by them personally. Delegating tasks will help to reduce the workload and, in turn, the stress experienced in the workplace. Start the day by looking at the tasks that need to be done and give some of them to others who work on lower levels of the same department. There will be some have to be done by one specific person but not everything.
Get Enough Sleep
The body needs sleep to function and trying to get through a day on little sleep will mean that the productivity levels are much lower. Lower productivity then leads to feeling like the tasks are harder and there is more to get through, which leads to stress at work. Set up a relaxing bedtime routine and exercise during the day to help the body relax on a night. As the body unwinds and sleeps, the brain will have the chance to relax and be ready for the next day.
Work More Efficiently, Not Harder
There is no need to work hard to be efficient. Having an organized workplace will help to organize the working day more, leading to more work being done and a stress-free day. There are plenty of books available on time management and how to become more productive in the working day, which are worth looking into.
Take a Vacation
Finally, take some time off. There is no need to work five or six days a week, 52 weeks a year; in fact, it will not do the body any good. Have some time away from work - and away from emails and anything to do with work! - and relax. This could be on a vacation somewhere or just in the home.

Jessie Malory writes for Massage Envy Spa, Thousand Oaks, where you can get an hour long keyword for $49. Visit their website today at. http://expertmassagetherapy.com/thousandoaks/

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Solving Problems In Life

 By John B Coyle 

Photo: wisdomtimes.com
 
Each one of us has a chance in life to make it what we want, the trouble is, recognizing the opportunity when it arrives----in life, if you go down a street one day you become impressed with nothing and, end up marrying it or something stupid like that. The trouble is we are not all blessed with the right amount or perception. Take an agent I once had who offered me a stand up gig in a war zone! "Look, Harry," I said "the other side has also got bombs that can see in the dark and read maps!" I thought I had made a good case for turning the gig down but Harry had other ideas. "Don't be ridiculous, John! Who the hell would want to waste an intelligent bomb on a comedian?" You see, people like Harry crop up all over the place in people's lives---in the end, the truth is, we're better off without them and making our own decisions as to what direction we want to go in. No how to books, no backwoods philosopher, no street smarts can do that for you----only ourselves can do it---so, believe in yourself and go for it and you will accomplish all that you have in your dream.
Of course, the smart guys say, you need our help, we're the professionals! Professionals in what? Crossing the street? Dozens of so called self help groups and individuals have cropped up over the years selling uis theories and books and DVD's about how we can be more 'assertive' etc!! What rubbish! We do not need anyone to tell us how to use a street crossing unless we are in another country and they they do it differently there, which I doubt. These so called experts are the new disease of the 21st century. They remind me of a story from a woman who visited a market and thought she might become a writer, she saw a typewriter on a stall for $1. she passed the stall but went back to it, when she did, the typewriter now had a ticket on it for $4.! "That was only a $1. a minute ago she said to the vendor.
"Inflation, credit crunch, recession," said the vendor.
"If I said Polka dots often enough would you repeat it" said the woman. He didn't reply and she then said, "It's broken, the letter 'A' is missing!"
"That's its uniqueness." said the vendor, "a missing letter gives budding writers an incentive."
"To do what, kill themselves?" said the woman. "Where the hell can you write something without using the letter 'A' so that it will be understood?"
The vendor scratched his head. Ehm, China?"
An this is the attitude we encounter in our lives daily and which holds us back, we ourselves can break these chains and achieve our goals without paying charlatans for canned soup advice!
Till the next time, TC, JBC

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Unknown Possibility - Exploring the Positive Side of Uncertainty

By Elaine Bailey  

Photo: rangspeakyourmind.files.wordpress.com
 

"Uncertainty is okay, as long as it exists in someone else's life or we don't have to do anything about it." ~ Jonathan Fields, Lawyer, Author and Business Consultant.

Let's face it, uncertainty can be scary. It makes us want to run away, the last thing we want to do is face it and own it.
After all, why would you want to own something that is terrifying, makes you feel scared and fills your head with doubt and voices of doom? You'd rather hide and just hope that is goes away or run away from it as fast as you can! RUN!
Not knowing is like a monster that is lurking in the shadows. You see it out of the corner of your eye, you can't quite focus on it, but you know it's there. The intensity of leaning in and moving towards something when you don't know the outcome fills you with anxiety, doubt and fear. This monster could strip you of everything and you'd be left to pick up the pieces of your life afterwards. It feeds your lizard brain with negative thoughts.
I remember being engulfed with the shroud of uncertainty while taking exams at school: Would I be able to answer the questions? What if I didn't get the grades I wanted? What if I forgot everything once I took my seat in the exam room? I hated the persistent pain of my anxiety of having to lean into the unknown and get through it all.
Life is a bit like reading a good book that you don't want to put down. You want to know how it ends before you've finished reading it! However, the reality is that if you knew the ending first, then you'd probably not enjoy reading the rest of the book or you might lose interest and not even finish reading it!
Humans always want to know the answer - we look for the facts and want to mitigate all the risks beforehand. For some of us the discomfort of not knowing is too much, instead we stay safe, stagnate and watch other people take the risks and get the results.
I've come to realize that uncertainty, risk of loss and discomfort are necessary if you want to fully experience and embrace life. In many ways, uncertainty makes you come alive, there's electricity to it (and a clenchy-ness at the same time!) It's like riding a rollercoaster!
The more you lean into uncertainty the more resilient you become. You become certain about uncertainty! It has a pattern and you can develop an internal process to work through it.
Allowing this experience opens space for new things to form and take shape. The feeling of uncertainty ebbs and flows, like a tide, as you keep moving forward. As you take each step towards your goal, the more certain things become.
After all, certainty has a level of boredom to it. If everything were certain, life would be pretty dull. Certainty is not a real concept; it deludes us into believing that it's the safer route and stifles innovation, creativity and the chance to create something quite brilliant and unique.
Scared IS the new black!
Look for pockets of uncertainty in your life and begin to walk towards them, rather than running away in fear. These little pockets are where you actually get to live your life and be the person you really came here to be. Embrace fear and doubt by leaning into uncertainty and working through it.
Start to look at uncertainty as a place of unknown possibilities.
Re-frame your doubt and hesitancy and chase those opportunities. Take a leap of faith and follow your dream!

Elaine is founder of Elaine Bailey International Ltd a company devoted to coaching busy and successful women and men into their best lives. Elaine spans the Atlantic from the UK to the USA in her life and business coaching. She is a sought after motivational speaker, whose topics include "Business or Busy-ness? Four Ways to Get Your Life Back on Purpose. Please visit http://ElaineBaileyInternational.com.

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Top 5 Tips to Earn Trust

By Ian D Lloyd  

Photo: ultraspinnablearticles.org
 
"Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps it's brain?"
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
To have someone truly trust in you is an amazing and humbling feeling that comes with a large degree of responsibility. However, you have to bear in mind that it is not easy to earn, cannot be bought and can quickly be lost if you do something wrong.
There are many ways to gain trust and it would be possible to write a very long list of the do's and don'ts you should follow when trying to build trust with someone. I have tried to distil all my thoughts into the following 5 important tips which encapsulate the essential requirements:
Be Open
Let people into your 'world'. Don't be afraid to express yourself and let people know who you are and what makes you tick. Even if this means sharing some of your weaknesses; it is better to get them out in the open rather than they get discovered later when people have formed a different opinion of you. If you have a tendency to be stubborn or conceited then let people know, in this way they will not be surprised by some of your activities and they may be able to help you overcome some of your challenges. Being open will allow people to get close to you and really get to know you which is incredibly powerful in building trust. One word of caution though, whilst being open is necessary to build trust you do need to be careful who you open the door to. It would be naïve to believe that everyone has your interest at heart so you need to perform some initial screening to decide who to be open with.
Be Honest
At some point in time if you have not been completely honest with a person you will be found out and it could destroy, in minutes, the trust it has taken you so long to build. Avoid those little deviations from the truth as they can soon grow to be mountains of deceit that you will always be trying to protect. It is very true that honesty is the best policy.
Be Supportive
Building trust with someone is not just about you. You must be there for the person(s) you are building trust with... unconditionally. You need to be there when they are feeling low with words of support and encouragement and you need to be there when they face their challenges. All of this support needs to be given without thought to what's in it for you. Knowing that you will be there for someone in a time of need is a powerful aspect in building long term trust.
Be Consistent
People have to know what they can expect from you. If your mood, attitude, behaviour or views change on a frequent basis then they will not know how to approach you and it will be difficult to build any type of relationship. Think about how you would feel if you had no idea how someone was going to react when you met them. We are all allowed to have 'off' days where life just seems to be against us. Don't let this affect your behaviour and share how you are feeling with the people you trust.
Be Patient
It takes time to build trust. It needs a solid foundation of positive events before it can exist. It's a bit like a bank account; you have to keep depositing positive actions in order to build up a balance of goodwill. Don't try to rush the process, it will happen through the long term actions you display.
Ideally trust is not something that is ever discussed or mentioned; it just exists between people who have followed the points described previously. Unfortunately when trust is mentioned, as in 'don't you trust me', then it is often because someone has done something to damage or break that trust. Be true to yourself, your friends, your family and your colleagues and protect that trust that you have built. Be aware that simple, thoughtless actions could very easy damage what has taken you so long to build.

About the Author
Ian Lloyd is an coach and internet marketer looking to make a difference for his family and those he can help to be successful. Check out Ian's official internet home page at http://www.ianlloyd63.com

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Failure Is Not an Option In Fact It's Not Even Real

By Karlyn Harrison

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The mindset that is so prevalent in American culture today is one of victimhood and the dogged determination to avoid failure at all costs. Let's address something right now. Failure is not some devastating event or occurrence that determines you self-worth and value. Our society has become so fixated with avoiding failure that the American spirit of excellence is being drowned in a sea of mediocrity. What is failure? The etymology of the word failure according to the Greek language means: to cause to fall, make to totter, or trip. Do you notice that the idea of finality is not implied in its proper definition? Failure is nothing more than the results you receive based on particular actions taken a particular time.

The prevailing concept of failure embraced by most people is one that implies that failing makes you a loser. It implies that failure is a reflection of your intrinsic value as a person. This is absurd. It is time to abandon that illusion and false concept and reacquaint ourselves to the spirit and mindset that made up the fabric of our courageous forefathers. There are a couple of simple strategies you can implement right now to shift your mindset and ultimately your life. For one you must identify and become absolutely clear about what your strengths are and secondly, partner, barter or find a way to implement systems to overcome your weak areas.

Let's deal with the first strategy. The primary cause for most of the failures that people experience is due to a complete lack of clarity. When you are unaware of what your unique strengths are it is impossible for you to direct your efforts appropriately to achieve outstanding results. Therefore, you must identify what your strengths are and then set goals and come up with strategies in order to make sure that the majority of your activities are directed towards utilizing your strengths and unique skill set to achieve what you want in any area of your life. Now let's address what most of you are thinking right now. Many of you are wondering about your weak points. Contrary to the advice of so many personal development gurus concentrating on strengthening your weaknesses is a complete waste of time. I am not saying that you should not address it but to focus primarily on that is absurd. That approach is based on the fallacy of the so-called well-rounded person (we will deal with that subject at another time).

It is best that you focus on partnering with someone who plays at the things you have to work hard at. For example, if you love exercise and physical fitness and excel in that area but suck at understanding nutrition and diet partner with someone who loves that to assist you in planning your meals. If accounting is your strength but you hate selling partner with or barter with someone who loves to sell. Are you guys getting the point? If you implement those two simple strategies consistently the results you are currently getting will change for the better. Don't allow the erroneous concept of failure to rob you of an opportunity to live an abundant, fulfilled life in any area. Until next time my friends.

Karlyn Harrison is an experienced internet marketer and Founder and President of Ohio State HomeBuyers LLC. He holds a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Business Administration from Franklin University and is committed to community outreach programs. As a token of appreciation for reading this article he is giving away a FREE eBook entitled "Fail Forward: Overcome the Delusion of Failure and Claim the Abundant Life You Deserve". You can grab your copy by visiting:

http://www.thesuccesspost.com

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Overcoming Worry About The Future

By Kevin Schoeninger  

Photo: img.ehowcdn.com
 
Do you ever find yourself worrying about what might happen? Do you imagine the worst and replay it over and over in your mind? You're human, so, it's natural to do that sometimes. However, the worry habit can get in the way of enjoying life and accomplishing what is most important to you. In this article, we'll explore some good questions to ask yourself to move through worry, so you can be at your best and enjoy what you are doing.
Let's begin by asking, what's behind your worry? Where are you coming from when you're doing that?
For our purposes, we can describe worry as a mental behavior that is a reaction to anxiety and fear. Fear is a reaction to your perception that something is threatening, dangerous, or painful. Anxiety is an uneasiness about what might happen.
So, worry is a response to anxiety and fear. It's a mental action that makes you feel like you are more prepared for what might happen. Yet worry isn't all that good a preparation for anything-is it? It tends to put you in a mental-emotional place of stress. Because of that, it keeps you from being relaxed, happy, present, and effective at what you are doing.
So, what's a better strategy for dealing with anxiety and fear?
To understand what could work better, let's look at the positive function of anxiety and fear. These feelings arise to alert us that we may need to take action. They tell us that we might need to do something in anticipation of some challenge that is facing us. This "alert to action" function can be important.
For example, anxiety and fear about an upcoming test can motivate you to study. Anxiety and fear when walking through a dark alley can keep you alert to protect yourself. Anxiety and fear about an upcoming work deadline can get you going on the work, spur you to gather resources and partners, and prepare you to do a great job. So, when fear and anxiety alert you to action you need to take right now, they can be very helpful.
However, when, instead of getting busy, you worry, that stalls the positive action process. Worry puts you ahead of yourself, out in the future, in a negative way. It tends to limit the positive actions you take now. It makes you do things like repeated checking to make sure things are O.K., which cycles into more stress and less efficiency. You tend to imagine all sorts of "bad things" that haven't actually happened yet and get locked into obsessing about them instead of doing what you need to do to really take care of a situation.
So, what's a more productive strategy to use when you start to feel anxious or afraid?
First, pause what you are doing and take a few slow deep breaths. Feel the sensation of breathing inside your body. Each time you exhale, give a deep sigh and let go. See if you can relax a bit deeper with each out-breath. Once, you've taken the edge off your anxiousness, you're ready for two important questions:
1. "Is there anything I need to be doing right now to prepare me for what I am afraid/anxious/worried about? Is there anything I can and need to do about that?"
If the answer is "yes" you can then ask yourself,
2a. "What is the best, most precise, and effective action I can take?"
Then, get busy doing that from a relaxed, proactive state of being.
2b. If the answer is "no," you can enjoy your return to the present moment and get on with what is actually important for you to do right now. You can ask yourself "What is truly important for me to do right now? What is my top priority?"
If this sounds too simple, I encourage you to give it a try. This little process is something that you can get better and better at with practice. One hint: The better you get at consciously relaxing yourself, the more accurate the answers you'll receive to your questions. If you'd like to learn more about conscious relaxation, check out the link in the Resource Box below.
Enjoy your practice!

Are you ready to de-stress, quiet your mind, and relax deeply? Discover how to take your stress management to the next level. For tips and techniques to reduce stress be sure to visit us here.
Kevin Schoeninger graduated from Villanova University in 1986 with a Master's Degree in Philosophy. He is certified as a Life Coach, Reiki Master Teacher, Qigong Meditation Instructor, and Personal Fitness Trainer.

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