Unknown Possibility - Exploring the Positive Side of Uncertainty

By Elaine Bailey  

Photo: rangspeakyourmind.files.wordpress.com
 

"Uncertainty is okay, as long as it exists in someone else's life or we don't have to do anything about it." ~ Jonathan Fields, Lawyer, Author and Business Consultant.

Let's face it, uncertainty can be scary. It makes us want to run away, the last thing we want to do is face it and own it.
After all, why would you want to own something that is terrifying, makes you feel scared and fills your head with doubt and voices of doom? You'd rather hide and just hope that is goes away or run away from it as fast as you can! RUN!
Not knowing is like a monster that is lurking in the shadows. You see it out of the corner of your eye, you can't quite focus on it, but you know it's there. The intensity of leaning in and moving towards something when you don't know the outcome fills you with anxiety, doubt and fear. This monster could strip you of everything and you'd be left to pick up the pieces of your life afterwards. It feeds your lizard brain with negative thoughts.
I remember being engulfed with the shroud of uncertainty while taking exams at school: Would I be able to answer the questions? What if I didn't get the grades I wanted? What if I forgot everything once I took my seat in the exam room? I hated the persistent pain of my anxiety of having to lean into the unknown and get through it all.
Life is a bit like reading a good book that you don't want to put down. You want to know how it ends before you've finished reading it! However, the reality is that if you knew the ending first, then you'd probably not enjoy reading the rest of the book or you might lose interest and not even finish reading it!
Humans always want to know the answer - we look for the facts and want to mitigate all the risks beforehand. For some of us the discomfort of not knowing is too much, instead we stay safe, stagnate and watch other people take the risks and get the results.
I've come to realize that uncertainty, risk of loss and discomfort are necessary if you want to fully experience and embrace life. In many ways, uncertainty makes you come alive, there's electricity to it (and a clenchy-ness at the same time!) It's like riding a rollercoaster!
The more you lean into uncertainty the more resilient you become. You become certain about uncertainty! It has a pattern and you can develop an internal process to work through it.
Allowing this experience opens space for new things to form and take shape. The feeling of uncertainty ebbs and flows, like a tide, as you keep moving forward. As you take each step towards your goal, the more certain things become.
After all, certainty has a level of boredom to it. If everything were certain, life would be pretty dull. Certainty is not a real concept; it deludes us into believing that it's the safer route and stifles innovation, creativity and the chance to create something quite brilliant and unique.
Scared IS the new black!
Look for pockets of uncertainty in your life and begin to walk towards them, rather than running away in fear. These little pockets are where you actually get to live your life and be the person you really came here to be. Embrace fear and doubt by leaning into uncertainty and working through it.
Start to look at uncertainty as a place of unknown possibilities.
Re-frame your doubt and hesitancy and chase those opportunities. Take a leap of faith and follow your dream!

Elaine is founder of Elaine Bailey International Ltd a company devoted to coaching busy and successful women and men into their best lives. Elaine spans the Atlantic from the UK to the USA in her life and business coaching. She is a sought after motivational speaker, whose topics include "Business or Busy-ness? Four Ways to Get Your Life Back on Purpose. Please visit http://ElaineBaileyInternational.com.

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Top 5 Tips to Earn Trust

By Ian D Lloyd  

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"Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps it's brain?"
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
To have someone truly trust in you is an amazing and humbling feeling that comes with a large degree of responsibility. However, you have to bear in mind that it is not easy to earn, cannot be bought and can quickly be lost if you do something wrong.
There are many ways to gain trust and it would be possible to write a very long list of the do's and don'ts you should follow when trying to build trust with someone. I have tried to distil all my thoughts into the following 5 important tips which encapsulate the essential requirements:
Be Open
Let people into your 'world'. Don't be afraid to express yourself and let people know who you are and what makes you tick. Even if this means sharing some of your weaknesses; it is better to get them out in the open rather than they get discovered later when people have formed a different opinion of you. If you have a tendency to be stubborn or conceited then let people know, in this way they will not be surprised by some of your activities and they may be able to help you overcome some of your challenges. Being open will allow people to get close to you and really get to know you which is incredibly powerful in building trust. One word of caution though, whilst being open is necessary to build trust you do need to be careful who you open the door to. It would be naïve to believe that everyone has your interest at heart so you need to perform some initial screening to decide who to be open with.
Be Honest
At some point in time if you have not been completely honest with a person you will be found out and it could destroy, in minutes, the trust it has taken you so long to build. Avoid those little deviations from the truth as they can soon grow to be mountains of deceit that you will always be trying to protect. It is very true that honesty is the best policy.
Be Supportive
Building trust with someone is not just about you. You must be there for the person(s) you are building trust with... unconditionally. You need to be there when they are feeling low with words of support and encouragement and you need to be there when they face their challenges. All of this support needs to be given without thought to what's in it for you. Knowing that you will be there for someone in a time of need is a powerful aspect in building long term trust.
Be Consistent
People have to know what they can expect from you. If your mood, attitude, behaviour or views change on a frequent basis then they will not know how to approach you and it will be difficult to build any type of relationship. Think about how you would feel if you had no idea how someone was going to react when you met them. We are all allowed to have 'off' days where life just seems to be against us. Don't let this affect your behaviour and share how you are feeling with the people you trust.
Be Patient
It takes time to build trust. It needs a solid foundation of positive events before it can exist. It's a bit like a bank account; you have to keep depositing positive actions in order to build up a balance of goodwill. Don't try to rush the process, it will happen through the long term actions you display.
Ideally trust is not something that is ever discussed or mentioned; it just exists between people who have followed the points described previously. Unfortunately when trust is mentioned, as in 'don't you trust me', then it is often because someone has done something to damage or break that trust. Be true to yourself, your friends, your family and your colleagues and protect that trust that you have built. Be aware that simple, thoughtless actions could very easy damage what has taken you so long to build.

About the Author
Ian Lloyd is an coach and internet marketer looking to make a difference for his family and those he can help to be successful. Check out Ian's official internet home page at http://www.ianlloyd63.com

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Failure Is Not an Option In Fact It's Not Even Real

By Karlyn Harrison

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The mindset that is so prevalent in American culture today is one of victimhood and the dogged determination to avoid failure at all costs. Let's address something right now. Failure is not some devastating event or occurrence that determines you self-worth and value. Our society has become so fixated with avoiding failure that the American spirit of excellence is being drowned in a sea of mediocrity. What is failure? The etymology of the word failure according to the Greek language means: to cause to fall, make to totter, or trip. Do you notice that the idea of finality is not implied in its proper definition? Failure is nothing more than the results you receive based on particular actions taken a particular time.

The prevailing concept of failure embraced by most people is one that implies that failing makes you a loser. It implies that failure is a reflection of your intrinsic value as a person. This is absurd. It is time to abandon that illusion and false concept and reacquaint ourselves to the spirit and mindset that made up the fabric of our courageous forefathers. There are a couple of simple strategies you can implement right now to shift your mindset and ultimately your life. For one you must identify and become absolutely clear about what your strengths are and secondly, partner, barter or find a way to implement systems to overcome your weak areas.

Let's deal with the first strategy. The primary cause for most of the failures that people experience is due to a complete lack of clarity. When you are unaware of what your unique strengths are it is impossible for you to direct your efforts appropriately to achieve outstanding results. Therefore, you must identify what your strengths are and then set goals and come up with strategies in order to make sure that the majority of your activities are directed towards utilizing your strengths and unique skill set to achieve what you want in any area of your life. Now let's address what most of you are thinking right now. Many of you are wondering about your weak points. Contrary to the advice of so many personal development gurus concentrating on strengthening your weaknesses is a complete waste of time. I am not saying that you should not address it but to focus primarily on that is absurd. That approach is based on the fallacy of the so-called well-rounded person (we will deal with that subject at another time).

It is best that you focus on partnering with someone who plays at the things you have to work hard at. For example, if you love exercise and physical fitness and excel in that area but suck at understanding nutrition and diet partner with someone who loves that to assist you in planning your meals. If accounting is your strength but you hate selling partner with or barter with someone who loves to sell. Are you guys getting the point? If you implement those two simple strategies consistently the results you are currently getting will change for the better. Don't allow the erroneous concept of failure to rob you of an opportunity to live an abundant, fulfilled life in any area. Until next time my friends.

Karlyn Harrison is an experienced internet marketer and Founder and President of Ohio State HomeBuyers LLC. He holds a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Business Administration from Franklin University and is committed to community outreach programs. As a token of appreciation for reading this article he is giving away a FREE eBook entitled "Fail Forward: Overcome the Delusion of Failure and Claim the Abundant Life You Deserve". You can grab your copy by visiting:

http://www.thesuccesspost.com

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Overcoming Worry About The Future

By Kevin Schoeninger  

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Do you ever find yourself worrying about what might happen? Do you imagine the worst and replay it over and over in your mind? You're human, so, it's natural to do that sometimes. However, the worry habit can get in the way of enjoying life and accomplishing what is most important to you. In this article, we'll explore some good questions to ask yourself to move through worry, so you can be at your best and enjoy what you are doing.
Let's begin by asking, what's behind your worry? Where are you coming from when you're doing that?
For our purposes, we can describe worry as a mental behavior that is a reaction to anxiety and fear. Fear is a reaction to your perception that something is threatening, dangerous, or painful. Anxiety is an uneasiness about what might happen.
So, worry is a response to anxiety and fear. It's a mental action that makes you feel like you are more prepared for what might happen. Yet worry isn't all that good a preparation for anything-is it? It tends to put you in a mental-emotional place of stress. Because of that, it keeps you from being relaxed, happy, present, and effective at what you are doing.
So, what's a better strategy for dealing with anxiety and fear?
To understand what could work better, let's look at the positive function of anxiety and fear. These feelings arise to alert us that we may need to take action. They tell us that we might need to do something in anticipation of some challenge that is facing us. This "alert to action" function can be important.
For example, anxiety and fear about an upcoming test can motivate you to study. Anxiety and fear when walking through a dark alley can keep you alert to protect yourself. Anxiety and fear about an upcoming work deadline can get you going on the work, spur you to gather resources and partners, and prepare you to do a great job. So, when fear and anxiety alert you to action you need to take right now, they can be very helpful.
However, when, instead of getting busy, you worry, that stalls the positive action process. Worry puts you ahead of yourself, out in the future, in a negative way. It tends to limit the positive actions you take now. It makes you do things like repeated checking to make sure things are O.K., which cycles into more stress and less efficiency. You tend to imagine all sorts of "bad things" that haven't actually happened yet and get locked into obsessing about them instead of doing what you need to do to really take care of a situation.
So, what's a more productive strategy to use when you start to feel anxious or afraid?
First, pause what you are doing and take a few slow deep breaths. Feel the sensation of breathing inside your body. Each time you exhale, give a deep sigh and let go. See if you can relax a bit deeper with each out-breath. Once, you've taken the edge off your anxiousness, you're ready for two important questions:
1. "Is there anything I need to be doing right now to prepare me for what I am afraid/anxious/worried about? Is there anything I can and need to do about that?"
If the answer is "yes" you can then ask yourself,
2a. "What is the best, most precise, and effective action I can take?"
Then, get busy doing that from a relaxed, proactive state of being.
2b. If the answer is "no," you can enjoy your return to the present moment and get on with what is actually important for you to do right now. You can ask yourself "What is truly important for me to do right now? What is my top priority?"
If this sounds too simple, I encourage you to give it a try. This little process is something that you can get better and better at with practice. One hint: The better you get at consciously relaxing yourself, the more accurate the answers you'll receive to your questions. If you'd like to learn more about conscious relaxation, check out the link in the Resource Box below.
Enjoy your practice!

Are you ready to de-stress, quiet your mind, and relax deeply? Discover how to take your stress management to the next level. For tips and techniques to reduce stress be sure to visit us here.
Kevin Schoeninger graduated from Villanova University in 1986 with a Master's Degree in Philosophy. He is certified as a Life Coach, Reiki Master Teacher, Qigong Meditation Instructor, and Personal Fitness Trainer.

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Ego - The Second Self

 By Kavita G 

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"Any RELATIONSHIP is possible only when two egos are dropped. Otherwise four persons are involved - Two real & Two imaginary."
The ego is a deep desire who wants to dominate. It's amazing to see how a three letter word can be held responsible for most of the follies in the world. Isn't it strange that everyone knows that ego is the one who keeps us away from true happiness yet everyone flaunts it?
What is ego? It is the by-product which is accumulated due to the life we spend with others. If we are left alone there will be no ego but then our lives will be like animals. Hence the phase of having an ego, a centre which we all have is necessary. In fact the birth of ego starts right at home when we start appreciating our child.
But as time passes it is essential to break the clutches of ego and live a life as we want. We should not be the slaves of our own ego which exists to satisfy certain rules made by our society. In fact being a slave of our ego leads to most of our miseries. It is not necessary to be the best in the eyes of others. It is ok to keep our egos aside and agree with our heart.
Our ego is one responsible for our craving of attention. It always searches for someone who appreciates, and gets satisfied at the reaction of others. Hence it can be termed as the enemy of our heart, even though we want to be free but our ego captures us in its vicious circle and does not allow us to do what our inner core wants.
One must not get confused between ego and self-respect. Ego is just an illusion but self-respect is essential. There is a thin line between self-respect and ego which should not be crossed. It is difficult but not impossible. When we start realising that our ego is the one that is responsible for our miseries then it will start disappearing itself. The only way to have our egos in control is to realise that there are many above us and our egos can never be so great that we become its servants.
Ego is like the spider's web which the spider builds himself but ultimately it leads to his own death. Our ego is our own creation and when we come out of the clutches of ego we will realise and mock at the fact that we were the creators of our own misery think with an open mind then there is no looking back.
Hence it is never late to realise that we have to shun our egos and start believing our hearts, as our heart will lead us to the happiness we desire and not our egos.
So, let us all realise that I, me, myself are very small words as compared to we, us and ourselves. This sure is the key to long-lasting relationships and strong relationships are always connected like the needles of the clock even if they meet occasionally.

KAVITA G

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How to Stay Positive When You're Surrounded by Negativity

By Deb Lamb 

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If someone were to ask you, you would probably say that you were a pretty happy person. You try to keep a positive frame of mind and stay upbeat. It can be difficult, though, to maintain a positive mindset when you find yourself surrounded by negativity.
Here are a few ways you can help keep your positive attitude whenever you look around and find that everyone else is being negative.
It's nothing personal.
People can often get into the bad habit of talking negatively. It can be aimed directly at you or simply be about a myriad of other things that are going on in that person's life. It's hard to face an onslaught of negativity, especially when you are the target of it. But remember, that this is their issue, not yours. If their criticism is unfounded, you can be sure that the complaints are probably just a way for the person to vent. Take a breath, put on a smile and tell yourself, "It's not me, it's them."
Be the bigger person.
It's not fun being around a negative person. But just imagine how miserable it must be to be the negative person. They are full of sour emotions and see themselves as the victim of life. They are probably scared and hurting in some way. Anger is one way that many people hide their troubles away from others. Try to be compassionate and give them the benefit of the doubt.
Bring them a little positivity.
What can you do to help turn their day around? It could be something small, like acknowledging a recent accomplishment. Bring them a snack from the vending machine. Even simply asking them how they are doing can help them to open up a little and get things off their chest. Do what you think would cheer you up on an off day. If you are met with an even bigger wave of negativity, just walk away. You know that you tried, and you can't win them all!
Remember: you get to choose the people in your life!
We are not physically attached to every person we deal with day in and day out. It is okay to cut out anyone who brings absolutely no positive value to your life. Friends, family, coworkers, spouses- if they just don't want to be a part of your positive lifestyle, then it's okay to limit contact with them or do away with the relationship altogether. There is a whole world of people out there who can make you smile, so don't waste your happiness on those who don't want to share it.
What do you do to stay positive every day? Have you had to make some tough decisions about who stays and who goes? Let us know!

Deb Lamb is a Ghostwriter and Copywriter who lives an amazing life in Granbury, Texas with her husband, two dogs and cat. She has a passion and desire to ignite and encourage others to successfully survive the hard times like divorce, abuse, single-parenting, homelessness and job loss. Deb has personally experienced these life-altering situations making her an authority and expert to motivate and inspire others. She has authored hundreds of articles on these topics and writes motivating and inspirational advice and strategies on how to overcome and enjoy a stunning life. Visit her blog for encouragement, direction and advice.

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How to End Worrying and Live a Great Life

By M. Farouk Radwan 

Photo: blog.gaiam.com
 
One of the habits that can really spoil a person's life and even make it miserable is the habit of worrying. The term conscious living has became quite familiar now and it explains the act of living in your present moment without thinking too much about the future or the past.
Conscious living can certainly make you happier but the habit of worrying is one of the biggest enemies to conscious living. You can easily stop enjoying great moments and think about an upcoming event only to end up ruining your mood.
Because of these reasons you must learn how to stop worrying so that you can enjoy your life.
Read this post to know about some tips that can help you stop your worrying.
5 Powerful Tips to Stop Worrying
1) Attack first: One of the best ways to prevent worrying is to prevent it from happening at the first place. Lets suppose that you are the kind of person who worries a lot in such a case you can take several actions that make you feel that you are in control. Here is an example, if you worry about your health then start to live a healthy life style and to avoid bad habits that open the door to worrying. By doing so you will prevent yourself from worrying before you even start to worry.
2) Take serious actions when you get worried: as soon as you feel worried take serious actions to calm your subconscious mind. For example if you became worried about an upcoming exam then drop what's in your hand and study very hard, only then your worrying will disappear or at least get reduced. Sometimes worrying is no more than a motivating signal your mind is sending you. Learn how to understand the signal, reply back to it so that you stop worrying.
3) Have a life plan: many people worry when they feel that they don't have control over their lives. When you write a plan or when you plan for your life you will feel that you are in control even if you were not. This plan can help you reduce worrying about the future to a great extent. Writing down your goals and future plans is one of the most effective ways to end your worrying.
4) Develop backup plans: many people start to worry when their main plan becomes in danger. Lets suppose that you wrote your goals but found that you wont reach them on time, in such a case a backup plan can certainly save you. When you plan for your future make sure you write a backup plan as well so that you don't worry even if something happened to your main plan
5) Make a worrying book: bring an empty copybook and record each event you worried about then record the outcome of the event. After you discover that nothing actually happens most of the time you will start to worry less often. In short, we always worry about things that never actually happen.

www.2knowmyself.com, the ultimate source for self understanding 10,000,000 Million visits and counting.
Why Do We Worry

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