3 Ways People Deal With Failure

by: Adam Khoo

 Photo: blogs-images.forbes.com

There are three ways in which people respond to failure.

Pattern 1: Give Excuses, Lay Blame & Give up
What do some people do when they don't get what they want? They will start giving themselves lots of excuses and blame everything and everyone around them. They say things like, 'it's not fair', 'I'm just not smart enough' 'It's just too difficult', 'I'm too young' or 'I'm too old', 'I just didn't have the luck', 'the depressed economy affected me'.

Feeling helpless and frustrated, this first group will stop taking action and give up! They will resign themselves to their goal being out of reach and live a life of mediocrity.
Pattern 2: Keep Trying the Same thing Over and Over Again

These are the people who have a lot more determination than the first. When they don't get their outcome, they will not quit. They will get themselves to take action again. The motto of this group is, 'I failed because I did not try hard enough' 'If I keep trying, I will eventually succeed'. So they keep taking action, putting in more time, energy and effort. No matter how many times they fail, they just keep trying harder and harder.

Will they eventually achieve their goals? It depends. If they set small, incremental goals, they may, with enough time and effort eventually succeed. However, if they set big and exceptional goals, like becoming the top in their field, they will never be successful by just trying again and again. They may experience a better result, but they won't reach the goals they desire. Why?


Because, although they keep taking action, they do not change their strategy. If you keep using the same approach, you are going to keep getting the same result. I have seen so many professionals and businessmen repeat this limiting pattern.
I know many businessmen who fail in their business only to start again and do the same thing. They keep putting in ads that don't work, they hire ineffective people or they use the same business model.
Pattern 3: Get Feedback, Change Strategy and Take Action until you Succeed.


If they still don't succeed, they will get more feedback, change their strategy and take action again. They keep repeating this process until they get what they want. They do whatever it takes. So, remember, every time you don't get what you want, it is life giving you feedback. It is this continuous feedback you need to help you adjust your approach until you hit your target.
Thomas Edison took almost 10,000 attempts before inventing the light bulb. When asked how he did it, he said that he had to first find 9,999 strategies of how not to invent the light bulb. He then used this feedback to change his strategy until he got what he wanted.
Successful people re-look and change their strategy whenever they encounter 'failure'. They understand that failure is feedback. Understand this principle and you will overcome failure and achieve success in no time at all.

Adam Khoo Adam Khoo is an entrepreneur, best-selling author and a self-made millionaire by the age of 26. Discover his million dollar secrets and claim your FREE audio CD program '6 Ways To Achieve Anything' here.
 

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Learning To Be Patient Will Bring Tranquility To Your Life

By Dottie J Eichhorn  

Photo: marcandangel.com
 
How many times have you been told to be patient? How exasperating this word can be. We patiently wait for decisions to be made, test results, an arrival of a person or package, a crisis to end, people's sluggish responses, or a telephone call. Wait, wait, and more waiting can lead anyone to be anxious, fearful, restless, frightened, nervous, exhausted, frustrated, annoyed, and worried. Wow, what a mess! There certainly isn't any tranquility in these feelings; and while you are being impatient and going through some of the above emotions, the outcome remains the same. So why put yourself through all of these negative emotions? Could it be that this is how you believe you should respond? Ask yourself this question: "How does God expect me to respond?" The answer is: "Trust Him
"
We are such a "got-to-have-it-now" society, that we are programmed to have everything immediately! It is time to reprogram ourselves and be content with God's timing. We are not omniscient, but God is. God knows the precise moment-the perfect day, hour, minute, and second-when the wait will be over. It will not arrive a second before it should. Why? God sees the BIG picture. We aren't capable of this, so it is imperative that we hand this tumultuous time over to God and practice being patient.
How do you learn to be patient by trusting God? First, you have to accept the circumstances that are making you impatient. After your acceptance, it is time to rise above all of the negative emotions and replace them by focusing on something else. This could be achieved by talking to someone, praying for others, completing or starting a task, meditating, reciting applicable affirmations, reading selected Bible passages that pertain to your situation, or helping others. Take your mind off of the unknown outcome. You may find yourself amazed what God will do for you while you wait.

Thank God for this waiting period. Let me explain why this is a logical thing to do. We must realize that God is allowing this to happen, because He knows if we handle the situation patiently, we will benefit from this experience. There will be a real sense of accomplishments-rising above the negative emotions and achieving positive productivity while waiting for God's timing. You will experience a door opening to a personal relationship with God. Hopefully, this will be a great reminder to keep in touch constantly with our Creator. "Pray without ceasing." 1 Thessalonians 5:17 NKJV

Remember this verse when you are impatient. "If you let that patience work in you, the end result will be good. You will be mature and complete. You will be all that God wants you to be." James 1:4 ERV
Patience isn't easy, but it is worth the end results.

Reading God's Mind, His Thoughts for Every Life Situation is a wonderful book to keep handy when you need a spiritual uplifting or need a problem resolved. Book clubs, Bible study groups, and families will find this book engenders stimulating conversations. There are "Study Guide Questions for Discussion" at the back of the book.
If you need to earn extra money for your church or organization, take advantage of Reading God's Mind free. You can view the details at my website, http://www.dottieeichhorn.com, Fundraiser.
Enjoy a peaceful moment with my YouTube video, "Reading God's Mind," which can also be seen on Facebook.

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When You Should Talk To Yourself

By Kaylene S Mathews  

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We all have probably talked to ourselves from time to time. We may do it more than we care to admit publicly. Things get really scary when we start answering ourselves. But talking to yourself can be good and beneficial when done for the correct reasons.
Talking to yourself is okay when you're asking yourself any of the following questions:

1. "Is this activity getting me closer to or further away from my goals?" When you go through your day, stop and question yourself about what you're doing. At any point in time that you're awake, you are giving your energy to some activity. Is that activity moving you closer to the life you want? Is it moving you closer to your goals?

2. "What is the purpose to my activity?" If you can't really answer question number one definitively, then why are you doing what you're doing? You may be thinking that everything you do can't have a purpose. I disagree. Your activity can fall into one of several categories: Goal achievement, relationship building, renewal/recharging, creative endeavors, etc. But your activity shouldn't be for purposes of distraction and procrastination. That never got anyone anywhere worth going. Be honest with yourself about why you do what you do.

3. "How can I be more efficient?" When I started observing my actions throughout the day, I identified areas where I wasn't the most efficient with my time. I have been told that it takes 7+ minutes to fully engage in an activity. So every time I would leave something and then come back to it, I lost anywhere from 7-14 minutes total. That could potentially add up to hours in the day. I know I could use some extra hours in my day. Now I have them!

4. "How can I be more effective?" Are you getting the most out of the effort expended? What times of the day are you at your best? I'm at my best in the morning. So I tend to do activities that require my brain power in the morning. It takes a lot less effort than trying to do the same activities at night, when all I can think about is going to sleep. How can you plan your day and activities around your most effective hours?

5. "Are my thoughts productive?" Are you worrying or thinking about something that you can or can't do anything about? If it's something you can't do anything about ever, then you need to move on. If it's something you can't do anything about now, then you need to table the thought until a future time. And lastly, if you can do something about it, think about what that is and then do it!
When you ask yourself these questions, it's okay to answer back. Listen to your answers and make the changes necessary to be more effective, efficient and purposeful with your energy and time.

If you need help being more effective, efficient and purposeful each day, a life coach can help! Kaylene Mathews is the President and owner of KSMLifeCoaching LLC. She offers both personal and group coaching services. Other offerings include PeopleMap assessments and training workshops for individuals, groups and corporate teams in the DFW area. For more information visit: http://ksmlifecoaching.com/

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Do You Know Where Your Will Power Has Gone?

 By Lynette Crane 

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You know will power - that elusive stuff that other people seem to have, but you don't? Or maybe you had a lot of it on January 1, excited by visions of a new you, but somehow the visions have gotten dimmer as the weeks have gone by.
The parking lot at the fitness center was so crowded on New Year's Day that new members circled endlessly, watching for someone to leave. (The veterans knew, grudgingly, to come early.) Soon there will be ample parking once again for the dedicated few who seem to keep going day after day, year after year, without succumbing to what I call the February Fade.
New Year's Resolutions can take a lot of forms, but all of them start off with a bang and then...
You may even be feeling a little guilt, or even a little disgust, over your difficulty in sticking with your resolutions, and wonder, "What's wrong with me?"
Nothing is wrong with you any more than having a muscle be weak because you haven't used it much, and you don't know quite how to exercise it.
Wouldn't you like to be able to build up your Will Power muscle, just as you build your biceps with curls, or your quadriceps with cycling?
Well, you can. And here's how:
Practice breathing. Practice mindfulbreathing, in this way: close your eyes, breathe in deeply for 4 counts, rest for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, rest for 4 counts.
That's all? Well, not quite.
Repeat these deep breaths, focusing on your breathing to the exclusion of everything else. Not quite able to exclude everything else? Join the crowd. You will have intrusive thoughts about what's going to happen today, or what happened earlier, or what happened in the third grade that today reminds you of... mind travel can go on and on. That's okay. Just keep breathing and focusing on your breathing.
Keep bringing your attention back to your breathing, because what you are doing is training your prefrontal cortex, the site of conscious thought and control (aka Will Power), to become stronger in over-riding the lower brain areas, those areas where your impulse to take the easy way out - slump down in front of the TV instead of exercising, eat the entire bag of chocolate chip cookies and skip the vegetables - is dominant.
The more you do this breathing and focusing exercise, the more you develop that control. If you were to do this simple exercise for five minutes per day, at the end of five months a brain scan would show significant changes in the area of your brain from which self control originates.
Isn't that worth the investment of five minutes per day? And hey, you don't have to stop at five minutes. Try it for 10, 15...
I don't think anyone has established an overdose level for mindful breathing.

Lynette Crane, M.A.(Psychology) and Certified Life Coach,is a Minneapolis-based speaker, writer, and coach. She has more than 30 years' experience in the field of stress management. She currently works to provide stress and time pressure solutions to harried women, those women who seek "Islands of Peace" in their overly-busy lives. Her talks to groups of what she calls "harried women" are receiving rave reviews. Visit her website at http://www.creativelifechanges.com/ to see more in-depth articles and to view her programs.

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The False Assumptions That Sabotage Your Success

  by JUDY WIDENER

Photo: dotheknowledge.com
 
There are dozens of resolutions your could set this New Year, and just as many reasons behind choosing them. The desire for a better life could push you to ask for that promotion, go back to college, stop being an emotional doormat, and be more confident.
Guilt could spur you to stick to that diet and exercise plan or stay on a budget. When you promise yourself that you'll limit your spending, you'll feel a sense of relief because you've unburdened yourself of the guilt of overspending. You might also feel excited about paying off bills and being financially free.


Choosing a resolution is very inspiring. This inspiration leads you to set an intention: I intend to stick to a budget.
But here's the thing. The act of setting an intention hasn't changed the habit of impulsive spending. Yet.

Albert Einstein said: Nothing happens until something moves. In other words, you change your spending habit only in the moment you feel the urge to act on it.
Until that point, you're just thinking about changing the habit. Your brain's rewiring process has only begun.

It's common to think about something for a long time before actually doing it. But because the thought is so familiar, you'll think that the new action is going to be easy and familiar, too. When it turns out to be harder than you thought it'd be, you'll be discouraged from sticking with the new behavior long enough to wire it as a habit into your brain. 


Another roadblock to sticking with resolutions is not recognizing that success is an attitude. On January 1st, you've psyched yourself up to improve your life. You took the time to create an attitude, a mindset of successfully attaining your desires.

This resolve will be strong for a time. In mid-January, you'll feel that rush of success the first time you walk away from a purchase. Keeping this up will be easy, you think.
But moods are constantly shifting. The next time you're faced with the challenge of not spending, your frame of mind and mood could be very different.

Maybe you've had a rough day and you really need the boost. You're not as psyched up for change any more. If you don't plan ahead for this eventuality of human nature, you'll judge yourself as a wimp, too weak-willed to see it through.

But you can plan now for those days you're feeling low, and vulnerable to repeating the old pattern of spending money to get a buzz. First, make a detailed list of other things you can do to distract yourself from shopping. There are a thousand ways to cop a buzz. Use your imagination and have fun with it.

Second, if you have a human moment and buy something, you can give yourself a break without letting yourself off the hook. Don't judge yourself as a failure. Instead, notice that you've exceeded your capacity to change (Chip Heath's book, Switch, is a great exploration of this phenomenon).
Recognize you need an attitude adjustment. Again, make a plan now of how you'll refresh that feeling of success. Be gentle with yourself. And tomorrow, begin again. Each sunrise is a new day, a fresh opportunity to be who you want to be.
Today's Coaching Question: What could you do to avoid repeating the past behaviors that blocked you from sticking with your resolutions?

Judy Widener is a Certified Life Coach and author of Power For A Lifetime: Tools You Customize to Build Your Personal Power Every Day Of Your Life. You can sign up for Discovering Your Values, a 5-day e-course at no cost at http://www.myinnerfrontiers.com.

Her passion is assisting her clients to discover what is most important to them, then to create more balance and satisfaction in their lives. She offers a comprehensive program that teaches clients simple ways to build their personal power and overcome obstacles to achieving their dreams. Judy has coached more than 600 people over the past 13 years. Her website is http://www.myinnerfrontiers.com.

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How to Create Positive Habits

 by ARUN SARAF

Photo: theunboundedspirit.com

There are many positive habits that one can develop to achieve success in all endeavors in life. Most of our habits have been developed since childhood and we tend to follow it due to repetitive actions. We brush our teeth everyday in the morning because we are taught to do so since childhood. We repeat the same action and it becomes a habit. It is easier to create a positive habit than to break a negative habit.

In the process of creating or developing a positive habit, it is also easy to eliminate a negative habit. With the need to develop a positive habit, you have chosen to eliminate a negative thinking pattern. To develop positive habits, it is necessary to remind yourself of the positive habits you need to develop. Write down the positive habits you want to develop such as exercising daily, eating healthy food, saving more money and spending less, avoiding negative thinking patterns and so forth.

Tips to Develop Positive Habits

Once you have developed one positive habit, it becomes easier to develop the next. For example, if you wish to eat healthy food, write down a list of healthy food and see how you can replace other food items with those in your wish list. By creating positive food habits, you can then slowly move on to other habits such as exercising daily.


You could start with small exercises such as using the stairs instead of the elevators, walking distances instead of using the car or other transportations. Gradually you can join the gym or other fitness spas to attain a fit and healthy body.

Make a monthly budget of your income and expenditure. Learn to spend less than your monthly income so that you can ensure financial stability and security.

Give up anxiety and moody thoughts. Try to remain cheerful and content with what you have and strive for more in life. Make a resolution to stop worrying and eliminate anxiety and depressive thoughts. This way you can eliminate the negative habit of worrying unnecessarily and letting go of past hurts and resentments in life.


In order to develop positive habits, it is important to do more and think less. Sometimes, we create positive habits unknowingly as it is part of our daily lifestyle. According to studies, positive habits can be created and developed in considerably lesser amount of time.



Related Articles - positive thinking, money magnet, think and grow rich, how to be a millionaire, positive thinking, law of attraction, think and grow rich, subconscious mind,

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How Can I Care for Myself When I'm Caring for Others?

By Ginger T Bisplinghoff  

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Caring for others, whether it be a child or children, elderly parents, an ailing friend or all of the above can be exhausting. Physical energy is required to get through the day but it is often the emotional stress that takes its toll. So often the caregiver gets lost in the shuffle and forgets what flight attendants have told us for years:

"Put your oxygen mask on first before assisting your child."

Having experienced the physical and emotional exhaustion of caring for elderly parents, I appreciate the struggle that comes with wanting to do everything possible for them and knowing that you are not taking care of your own health and wellbeing.
The question to ask yourself each day is: "What can I do for myself that will help keep me balanced, rejuvenated and healthy?"
When care giving seems to take up your time and energy 24/7, you must be realistic with what you can do for yourself. It may be the small things that give you the most support. The following are just a few suggestions that may ease the feeling of overwhelm.
1. BREATHE. Square breathing can help relieve the anxiety that is often felt throughout the day: 1) Breathe in to a count of 4. 2) Hold for a count of 4. 3) Breathe out for a count of 4. 4) Hold for a count of 4. Repeat.
2. Stay hydrated. Keep a water bottle with you at all times. Water will keep you electrical, focused and may prevent stress eating. Adding a pinch of Himalayan salt to your water will increase your body's ability to stay hydrated. Get more information at www.mercola.com
3. The Australian Bush Flower Essence, Alpine Mint Bush helps with the mental and emotional exhaustion and the weight of responsibility felt by care givers. It doesn't take away the job. It helps revitalize and renew your energy.
4. The Bach Flower Essence, Rescue Remedy can be added to your water bottle and give you emotional support throughout the day.
5. Create a support system. You need a respite. This could be a friend or family member, a babysitter, a Home Health Aid, a support group, Elder Services, Visiting Nurses, etc.
6. A simple energetic exercise can help you feel more focused and less overwhelmed:

On a piece of paper, draw a large Infinity Symbol (a figure 8 on its side) with your right hand. When the tracing is smooth, repeat the tracing with the pen in your left hand. When that is smooth, repeat the tracing holding the pen in both hands.

7. When the emotions of the situation feel out of control, take a moment to regroup with Frontal/Occipital Holding:

Place one hand on the back of your head and the other hand on your forehead. Breathe slowly and use this time to visualize yourself calm, healthy and balanced. When you feel pulsing under the hand on your forehead or you take a deep, cleansing breath, you are done.

8. Animals are natural stress relievers. Just petting a cat or dog reduces blood pressure, minimizes anxiety and brings us back into the moment. If a pet isn't available, find pet videos on You Tube or Facebook. Animals, especially cute ones, can usually get us to smile and forget for a moment that we are overwhelmed.
There are many ways of putting your oxygen mask on first. Spend some time brainstorming the techniques that work for you. Be realistic, be willing to ask for help and give yourself permission to take care of you!

Ginger Bisplinghoff, RN, BS, Kinesiologist, Flower Essence Practitioner, Face Reader and author has over 30 years experience in the health care profession. She is devoted to helping people change their lives, discover their true essence and create the best possible future. Her clients and students often remark about her passion, enthusiasm and ability to take a complicated subject and break it down into easily understandable components. Ginger's website is http://optionstohealth.com and she can be reached at optionstohealth@comcast.net.

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