Are You Playing Offense Or Defense?

 By Tim Connor  

Photo: inspirationalbasketball.com
 
You don't have to be an athlete to know the difference between offense and defense. But let me define them in terms of this article.

Offense - To attempt to gain more. To reach out. To experiment with new approaches or ideas. To take initiatives to extend your success.

Defense - to protect or guard. To hold on to what you have. To observe, detect or watch. Playing it safe and cautious.

You may take issue with some of my above definition points, but read on and you will know why I chose these words. What do these two life approaches have to do with success?
There are two ways to live life - to grow, extend, learn, experiment, try, create and move or wait, hang on, protect, hope and cling to what is comfortable and known.

Which do you think;

Adds a sense of adventure to life?
Helps you achieve more?
Is more fun and yes risky?
Prevents boredom, malaise and apathy?
Triggers new answers, solutions and tactics?

If you are not sure, of the answers to these questions I have to wonder if you are locked in a cave somewhere peering out now and then to see if it's safe to come out in the open.
Creativity is built into each of us, but the demonstration and use of it is often curtailed due to any number of fears, memories or concern for the uncertainties of life.

Victim's mindsets tend to keep them stuck in a victim mentality and they seldom try anything new assuming it will just bring more of the same - disappointment, failure, frustration, anxiety and stress - so why bother - just stay the same, doing the same things in the same way.

Offense is reaching out and trying knowing that not everything may work out in the end, but it is better than remaining stuck. Defense is safe, but it prevents growth, new learning and ultimate happiness, inner peace and success.
Show me any athletic team that consistently wins by only playing a great defense. Yes, going on offense can increase failure, problems and adversity, but consider the opposite - you can't win if you don't score and to score you have to go on offense.

No one likes failure, but it is necessary to succeed. No one likes problems but they can help us grow if we will use them as learning tools. No one likes adversity, but it is just one of life's circumstances no matter whether you are on defense or offense.

What's your life strategy? Playing offense or defense or playing them both when appropriate?
Yes, there are times when we need to be on defense, but to remain stuck in a defense mindset due to fear will never advance our objectives, goals or agendas - sooner or later you have to play offense to improve outcomes.

Why do some people spend most of their life on defense?
There are far too many reasons, but let me discuss the three most common ones.

Fear -
The number one reason people fail to go on offense is they are unsure whether they can handle what their actions will bring into their life. They feel safe on defense. They feel in control, but this control is an illusion as God doesn't want us to stay on defense - He wants us to make a difference in the world with the talents, skills and opportunities He places on our path. When we live a life on defense we fail to achieve our potential and live a joyful and productive experience. Yes, the ability to play defense is vital, but to stay stuck in this mindset is counterproductive.

Uncertainty - Nothing in life is certain nor will it ever be. To always expect your plans, goals, needs and desires to be accomplished as you have established or determined is to live in denial and emotional immaturity. The only thing we can do in life is live and then handle what comes our way using our wisdom, experience and lessons to address these issues with confidence and faith.

Low self-esteem - We all know what self-esteem is - it's simply how you define yourself - your ability, your talent, your experience, your life outlook and your self-worth. A person playing defense tends to have low self-esteem - they don't believe they are capable of dealing with life's issues in a positive or productive way.
They believe that the best approach in life is to hope, wait and then react. Yes, life demands this of us frequently, but in the end - always being on defense prevents the expression of free will, trust and self-belief.
In the end life is just that - life. It comes at us relentlessly each moment of each day. We can take a protective stance and just deal with stuff as it shows up or we can take initiative and keep moving forward. It's a simple choice - but not an easy task.

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How One Man's Strength May Be Another's Weakness?

 By Richard Brody 

Photo:  deviantart.com

One of the greatest challenges faced by those who focus on optimizing and enhancing personal development is that it is often challenging, difficult or even counter - productive for us to generalize what might be the best course of action for others to pursue. Just like the adage that one's man's ceiling is another man's floor. it is also true that there are times that not only might someone's strength not be another's, but in fact if certain people attempt to proceed like someone else, it may create far less than effective and meaningful results.

1. When we consider what most people might refer to as strengths, we generally think about persistence, perseverance, drive, positive attitude, etc. When these traits and actions drive someone forward to do more, better and more effectively, they are reliable strengths. For example, if a well - prepared person is persistent, he will continue to strive to achieve, and refuse to quit prematurely. However, there may also be times when this is similar to a condition known as throwing good money after bad, when one becomes stubborn and refuses to adapt, evolve or improve upon the way he conducts himself. There is often a fine line between being persistent and stubborn, and that differentiation is based sometimes on subtle rather than pronounced differences. These include motivations, goals, attitudes, and whether we are willing to adapt and evolve. Even the most essential vision and driving dreams should only dictate the goals we set, but not limit our alternatives and plans. It is essential to be willing to adapt one's plan or approach, while focusing one what one wants to achieve.

2. Many consider things to be weaknesses, which while they might often be, are not universally so. For example, while having the drive to speak up for oneself is generally considered an important strength, when this is done in an adversarial or nasty manner, it is anything but a personal strength. When what should make us better has a demotivating or upsetting impact on others, then it transforms into a weakness. It is important for each of us to not only identify our personal strengths and weaknesses, but to also clearly understand why we consider them to be so, and how we will best utilize our strengths in an impactful, focused manner, while simultaneously addressing our weaknesses to either improve upon ourselves in those areas, or develop an inner circle of resources that will compensate for those weaknesses or inabilities.

The first and primary thing is for each of us to know ourselves well enough to enhance our abilities and potentials. Never try to be an second rate imitation of someone else, but strive to be the best you can be!

Richard has owned businesses, been a COO, CEO, and Director of Development, as well as a consultant. He has professionally run events, consulted to over a thousand leaders, and conducted personal development seminars, for over 30 years. Rich has written three books and well over a thousand articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD, LLC has an informative website: http://plan2lead.net and LIKE the Plan2lead Facebook page http://facebook.com/Plan2lead

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How to Deal With Stress by Changing How You Feel About It

 By Janet Wolfe 

Photo: psychologies.co.uk

We all know stress can hurt us. But I recently learned we might be much better at dealing with stress if we change our attitudes about what stress means. In fact the harm stress does to our health may be caused more by our being stressed about stress, than the original stress itself.

Sound like I'm talking in circles? Well, I just listened to a TED Talk by Stanford psychologist Kelly McGonigal, entitled "How to Make Stress Your Friend." McGonigal confessed that after years of counseling about stress, she may have been wrong. Stress may not be the villain we think it is.
If this sounds startling, McGonigal says she was "freaked out" herself by the idea that stress could be a good thing. But her change of heart came as a result of an eight year study on 300,000 people in the U.S, all with different levels of stress.

The researchers asked the participants how stressed they considered themselves to be, and also whether or not they viewed stress as harmful to their health. Then over the course of the eight years, they tracked which participants died, and compared the death rates against the answers to their questions.
Sure enough, the people who were under a lot of stress, and also felt stress was harmful were significantly more apt to die prematurely. But surprisingly, the people who had a lot or stress, but didn't think of it as harmful, had lower death rates than the people with very little stress at all.

The Heart and Stress
We've probably all experienced our heart racing and pounding when we feel overly stressed. Over time this is what contributes to much stress related heart disease, and stroke.

The cardio-vascular effects of stress on the bodies of study participants, however, were markedly different depending on their attitudes about their stress. The blood vessels of those who believed themselves to be harmed by stress became contracted, severely limiting blood flow to their brains. But the arteries of the people who did not believe stress was harmful remained relaxed when they were under stress. Their hearts did still race, but each beat carried the blood and oxygen they needed to meet whatever challenge they were facing.

According to McGonigal, this ability to let stress pump more blood without constricting the blood vessels is the same reaction the body experiences when we feel joy, or courage. It is also what happens when we do aerobic exercise. We have to get our heart rate up to make it stronger, and a stronger heart means better health.

We experience physical stress when we lift weights, run alongside our kids as they learn to ride a bike, or carry in a load of groceries. And the more we do those things, the more we can continue to do. We don't think about those kinds of stress as harmful. We may not think of them as stressful at all.

Could changing your attitude lessen the harm of your stress?
For one thing, worrying about the stress you already have just dumps more unnecessary stress on top of whatever else you are dealing with. So dropping the worry alone is a positive move. Understanding that your heart is pounding to help you might give you more courage, knowing you will be strong enough to face stress as it comes.

We could acknowledge our stress as a signal to take action. You could sit and fret about your problems, or use the stress signal to get up and try to fix them. We almost always feel better as we move to get things done.

We could use our stress signals to remind us to breathe deep or meditate more. We could use it fuel us into a brisk walk, to get our blood pumping for all the right reasons. Whatever methods we use to deal with our stress now, the idea that stress could be our friend is certainly worth considering.
In my next article, I will review the second part of McGonigal's TED Talk, where she explains how a particular stress hormone actually keeps us connected with each other.
You can watch the entire uplifting talk at:

http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend.html.
If you found this article helpful, please leave us a comment. We appreciate hearing from you. And don't forget to share us with your social media friends.

For more tips and great information on how to deal with stress, check out ClearYourStress.com. You'll also find many guided exercises and meditation methods to relieve stress, connect with your inner wisdom, and enjoy a balanced lifestyle. Visit ClearYourStress.com now to get started.

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Life Is Too Short to Stay Angry

 By Amy Sherman 

Photo: hongkiat.com

Life is so precious and so short. Then why do we waste so much time acting in ways that are harmful to us? Most people I meet say they want is to be happy and to live a peaceful life. However, we all know how difficult that can be. After all, things happen that annoy, frustrate and hurt us. We have the right to get angry. But if you're the type who gets angry at all sorts of things, you may want to look into how you are creating your own misery. In fact, anger can do terrible things to your mind and body and can even shorten your life.
By holding on to your anger, you are not allowing yourself to be forgiving. This makes you skeptical of others and fearful about getting hurt again. The problem with this attitude is that you become bitter and over time your optimism and trust diminishes; you become less tolerant of others and perhaps a little too rude and sarcastic. Plus, your body remains tense, nervous and agitated and it gets harder to shake those feelings of hostility and displeasure.

Therefore, to ruminate, rehash and mope about things that already happened, just doesn't work well on your emotional well-being So, if your goal in the latter part of your life is to have more close relationships, many friends, cordial colleagues, and an active social life, then recognize how your thoughts are self-defeating and sabotaging your good intentions.

You can ask yourself the following questions to get an honest reality check on your thinking:
1. Does being angry relax you or incite you?
2. Does blaming others make you feel loving or disconnected?
3. Does shouting really help you communicate better or does it alienate you?
4. Does worrying make you feel good or create more tension?

It seems obvious that harboring a lot of anger may actually be harmful. Understand that if you can't change your situation, you need to find another way to respond or let it go. Become aware of your reaction to things, and you'll find you have a tendency to make things worse than they actually are. Don't be like the woman who hadn't spoken to her father for three weeks and when she finally decided to make amends, he died suddenly.

Life is too short to stay angry, since there's barely enough time to do the happy, fun things. Don't waste those precious moments being angry when the time can be better spent pursuing your dreams and fulfilling your bliss. Anger has its place and time. Just don't let anger get so out of hand that it determines your daily mind-set. Your happiness depends not on your set of circumstances, but rather on how you act on it.

Amy Sherman, MA, is a therapist and Relationship/Dating Coach. She is the author of "Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer's Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life" and co-author of "99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 and Yes, 60!" Visit http://www.yourbabyboomersnetwork.com and receive a Special Report on Overcoming Adversity when you sign up for the free eNewsletter. Amy can be reached at 561-281-2975.

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4 Proven Generalized Anxiety Disorder Treatments

 By Troy Vayanos 

Photo: l.yimg.com
 
Every normal person gets anxious at one point or another. The anxiety is always caused by something specific (usually a stress factor), and goes away as soon as the cause is resolved.
A generalized anxiety disorder often has no specific trigger or cause. A person just feels a general, gnawing and nagging feeling of worry, dread, tension and nervousness. The symptoms are non-quitting, and can greatly affect a person's social, professional or personal life. As such, there needs to be quick intervention to prevent escalation into something worse (like suicide).
There are a number of generalized anxiety disorder treatments. They range from medications to lifestyle changes. The treatment option selected depends on the severity of the disorder.
The most common ones are the following:

1. Medication
Sometimes, generalized anxiety disorder treatment involves administering medications. The three common types of medications are antidepressants, Buspirone and Benzodiazepines. Antidepressants are used to mitigate the activity of neurotransmitters. The neurotransmitters are chemicals which play a central role in triggering feelings of anxiety. Buspirone is an anti-anxiety medication which is useful for making a person calm and relaxed. Benzodiazepines are sedatives which are used to mitigate the debilitating effects of acute anxiety in the short run. Examples included diazepam (Valium), alprazolam (Xanax), and lorazepam (Ativan).

2. Psychotherapy
This generalized anxiety treatment option involves the use of counselling with the goal of helping a person to deal with any underlying stressors. The main form of psychotherapy used is cognitive behavioural therapy. This empowers a person to eliminate any anxiety causing thoughts, and replace them with positive, empowering thoughts.

3. Relaxation Techniques
This treatment option is aimed at eliminating or reducing the major symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder i.e. excessive nervousness and tension. The focus is on training a patient how to calm down and relax on their own. The major relaxation techniques which are used include progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing and meditation. These techniques empower a person to be able to control their anxiety without using medication or external help.

4. Lifestyle Changes
In some cases, generalized anxiety disorder treatment requires certain lifestyle changes. This takes the form of adopting healthier lifestyles, or eliminating lifestyles which can worsen the disorder. Usually, those who use alcohol, tobacco or other psychoactive drugs are advised to stop, since these can escalate generalized anxiety disorder. Recommended lifestyle adoptions include regular exercise, eating a healthy diet, avoiding stress and getting enough rest and/or sleep.

In a nutshell, those are the common generalized anxiety disorder treatments. When applied consistently, they can enable a person to become calm, relaxed, happy, and resume having a productive life.

Learn a simple technique to finally rid yourself of anxiety and fear for good.
Discover the 3 things you can do to help stop a panic attack today - FREE Mini-Series
http://www.RelieveAnxietyFast.com

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How to Motivate Yourself to Become More Productive

By Luke Howeth  

Photo: img.gawkerassets.com
 
Motivation

"Motivation is defined as the process that initiates, guides and maintains goal-oriented behaviors. Motivation is what causes us to act, whether it is getting a glass of water to reduce thirst or reading a book to gain knowledge."

Motivation in real-life terms, is the drive in which takes us to action and success. It is what gives us the will to work, usually the result of the enjoyment of the work itself and/or the desire to achieve success and goals. And success consequently is what such work results in.
It's essential to not only have but to maintain motivation, not only to succeed online but in life itself. Motivation is the one thing that allows us to look at failure as opportunity, motivation is the one thing that doesn't let you sleep until 2:00AM and gets you up at 5:00AM only to carry on working, it's that one thing that FORCES you to go the extra mile. But ultimately motivation is the one thing that naturally allows you to reach success!

Motivation within marketing

Motivation plays a crucial role in actually taking action and going forth in order to see results. As clear as that may sound - 9 times out of 10, people (myself included) start to connect with a company/individual, full of motivation for the soon future. But, maybe when you've been involved for 3 month, a month or even a matter of weeks and you STILL haven't made that sale, or your site STILL isn't ready to put launched or whatever it may be; your motivation begins to slowly disappear. Eventually, you'll accept the fact that 'you're just not good enough, it's too hard', or 'you haven't got enough time' or 'the Internet's just not for you'. Every single person goes through these stages, I can guarantee you that no body has every just came onto the internet and found success - it takes determination, desperation to find a better life... and above all healthy motivation.
How I motivate myself

I'm not saying that you should just work-work-work. That wouldn't probably play an even more negative affect, you need to keep y

ourself happy otherwise you'll become less efficient and the quality of your work will suffer.
One thing I do to both keep myself happy but also decrease procrastination is I make a deal with myself that I will do something/be allowed to do something after I've completed a certain amount of work. This could be anything from having a few beers or going to that party, to just having a walk in the park.
Set large goals. I'm a big believer in setting big, general goals as opposed to smaller ones. Big goals mean big effect, and big affect creates motivating images in your mind!

Always give recognition to your success, this can be a great motivation booster - keep some sort of journal of all the successful tasks or pieces of work you've done - no matter how big or small.
"Never ever fear failure - instead redefine it as feedback as a natural part of a successful life" - Michael Jordan

This is probably the biggest one for me. When working on a project or whatever it is you're doing. Don't just think of what you'll get as a result of it; perhaps money. But think of what your life will be like as a result of the work. For example, you could immigrate, buy you're dream home, provide a life a wealth for your family and friends. Retire your parents early - whatever you want.
If possible, find pictures of things that motivate you. Things that hold meaning within them! Things that really get your blood pumping! Somewhere you'd love to live or somewhere you'd love to go!
Just do it!

Make each day count! Everyday when you awake, think positively with a smile on your face, this little trick will make your day a lot more positive resulting in you taking more action. Resulting in those actions to naturally producing more success!

Thanks for reading! If you want to know more about how I implement these tricks into my daily life as an online marketer working online. Check out my site - http://lukehoweth.com/

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Do You Want Success, Or Just Avoiding Failure?

By Richard Brody  

Photo: maximizemylife.com
 
Although being successful and the components of success are so often discussed, doesn't it seem somewhat strange that it often appears that far more individuals expend the majority of their energies and attention in the quest to avoid failure, than in the pursuit of success? After over thirty years of offering personal development seminars and coaching to over a thousand individuals, I have come to realize that, for many, even the concept of personal success appears to be a fuzzy one, and thus many people merely try not to fail than to succeed! There are certain components that each of us must both define for ourselves, as well as clearly identify, if we truly wish to succeed. These include: 1) What's your plan?; 2) How do you balance and analyze risk versus reward?; 3) Will you procrastinate and thus stagnate, or be proactive and pursue greatness?; and 4) Do you fear failure, or are you afraid of success?

1. There is rarely any likelihood of true success unless we begin and focus on our plan! What is your plan, and why? How does that plan propel you forward towards the achievement of your goals, and are you willing to commit to taking the needed action?

2. Everything we choose to either do, or we fail to do, should be evaluated on the risk versus reward scale! Many times, we permit our fears to nearly paralyze us, and we therefore procrastinate rather than taking proactive steps. True success is potentiated when this risk/ reward concept is evaluated, and we proceed forward after weighing potential risks, and daring to do what others seem to fear. The reality is that there is rarely any possibility of success unless we commit to doing rather than avoiding, and it is the ability to take smart risks that propels us towards genuine and meaningful success.

3. When one selects procrastination rather than action, it almost always leads towards often harmful stagnation. Unless one acts, there is little possibility of meaningful success, and our greatest successes are a result of having the courage to dare to act when others are controlled and dominated by their fears.

4. So many people seem so fearful of failing that we often misconstrue this with the reason that individuals procrastinate. I believe, however, that in many more situations, it is the fear of success that creates this procrastinating. Why would someone fear success? Unfortunately, far too many people are satisfied in living up (or down) to the lowest and minimal expectations, and therefore come to become comfortable with mediocrity.

If you want to be successful, plan accordingly and take timely action on your planning. It's never enough to settle for merely avoiding failure!

Richard has owned businesses, been a COO, CEO, and Director of Development, as well as a consultant. He has professionally run events, consulted to over a thousand leaders, and conducted personal development seminars, for over 30 years. Rich has written three books and well over a thousand articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD, LLC has an informative website http://plan2lead.net and Plan2lead can also be followed on Facebook http://facebook.com/Plan2lead

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