By Mike Shery
Photo: asiancraftinc.com
Anger is growing like a dangerous cancer around the world. People desperately need information on how to control and manage it - and they need to teach their children to do so as well.
I have seen families and marriages strangled by its deadly noose. To manage your anger you must remind yourself of its life-changing consequences almost daily.
Habitual outbursts shut down dialogue with family, friends and others. Your loved ones shut down in order to prevent confrontation from escalating
However, it is important to realize that anger does have a functional and useful aspect. For example, it certainly demonstrates that you do care and are not indifferent about the issue that is upsetting you.
When you do not care about an issue, you are genuinely indifferent to it, so it is unable to make you angry! Another practical aspect of anger is that it produces substantial energy and power to fight a problem and overcome it.
Unfortunately, with that burst of power, all we typically do is holler at someone or put our fist through the wall. But with this highly focused energy, we also have a very potent resource available for constructive change.
We just have to learn how to use it. Unfortunately, some people carry a high level of anger with them on a daily basis without being aware of it.
Those people are often demanding, frustrated and hypervigilant about being betrayed or cheated. They often anticipate the worst and feel like they are being monitored.
Just a small event can trigger an explosion in these types. Living daily with angry feelings is very dysfunctional and can often lead to unnecessary illness.
Very importantly, habitual anger can quickly become a family problem because it is very miserable and debilitating for those around you. They will be very guarded with their utterances, or even totally avoid you, so as not to trigger an argument.
Habitually angry people have more difficulty getting a job, are rarely invited places, and are not usually recruited for highly responsible positions. One very unpleasant sign of pathological anger is the temper tantrum or temper outburst.
Do you need to use professional solutions like counseling or medication to overcome pathological anger? Not necessarily.
The good news is that there are several good coping skills available to manage anger that you can learn and practice right at home. Unless your anger problem is dangerous or particularly severe, practicing diligently at home is a great start.
The one technique that is most widely known, is the time out.
Using this method, before you get to the explosion phase, excuse yourself and reassure your partner you will return at a certain time.
Then take a break to give yourself some time to talk yourself down and get your emotions back under control. Other tips include asking yourself how significant, in the long run, is that issue that is upsetting you.
Will it matter much five years from now? Getting a realistic perspective tends to tranquilize you if you work at it. After all, whoever is triggering your anger is probably behaving in a way that seems best to them at the time, not in a way that is deliberately dead set to hurt you.
Trying to understand the other person's needs, problems and desires will often help you to be more empathic and less hostile. Tip: Each time you feel anger starting to rear its ugly head, stop, take a time-out and calmly talk yourself down.
Another home remedy for anger management is the Self-Therapy Kit (STK). Many people who are particularly private or who have severe time constraints use them.
These are programs you use by yourself in the privacy of your own home. In a sense, using them is like having your own private anger management counselor at your personal disposal 24/7.
STKs are educational digital programs that may include e-books, CDs, DVDs, MP3s or any combination thereof to teach you the proven skills of anger management. They are inexpensive and teach you how to manage your anger in the privacy of your home.
They are particularly helpful if you have limited financial resources; they typically cost a one-time fee of anywhere from $9 to $99 or so, and the fee is only a one-time event. It is not a weekly fee you would pay for private counseling.
Self-Therapy Kits (STKs) are delivered in a multimedia format and they are self-paced, inexpensive and can be used anytime in your own home.
Photo: asiancraftinc.com
Anger is growing like a dangerous cancer around the world. People desperately need information on how to control and manage it - and they need to teach their children to do so as well.
I have seen families and marriages strangled by its deadly noose. To manage your anger you must remind yourself of its life-changing consequences almost daily.
Habitual outbursts shut down dialogue with family, friends and others. Your loved ones shut down in order to prevent confrontation from escalating
However, it is important to realize that anger does have a functional and useful aspect. For example, it certainly demonstrates that you do care and are not indifferent about the issue that is upsetting you.
When you do not care about an issue, you are genuinely indifferent to it, so it is unable to make you angry! Another practical aspect of anger is that it produces substantial energy and power to fight a problem and overcome it.
Unfortunately, with that burst of power, all we typically do is holler at someone or put our fist through the wall. But with this highly focused energy, we also have a very potent resource available for constructive change.
We just have to learn how to use it. Unfortunately, some people carry a high level of anger with them on a daily basis without being aware of it.
Those people are often demanding, frustrated and hypervigilant about being betrayed or cheated. They often anticipate the worst and feel like they are being monitored.
Just a small event can trigger an explosion in these types. Living daily with angry feelings is very dysfunctional and can often lead to unnecessary illness.
Very importantly, habitual anger can quickly become a family problem because it is very miserable and debilitating for those around you. They will be very guarded with their utterances, or even totally avoid you, so as not to trigger an argument.
Habitually angry people have more difficulty getting a job, are rarely invited places, and are not usually recruited for highly responsible positions. One very unpleasant sign of pathological anger is the temper tantrum or temper outburst.
Do you need to use professional solutions like counseling or medication to overcome pathological anger? Not necessarily.
The good news is that there are several good coping skills available to manage anger that you can learn and practice right at home. Unless your anger problem is dangerous or particularly severe, practicing diligently at home is a great start.
The one technique that is most widely known, is the time out.
Using this method, before you get to the explosion phase, excuse yourself and reassure your partner you will return at a certain time.
Then take a break to give yourself some time to talk yourself down and get your emotions back under control. Other tips include asking yourself how significant, in the long run, is that issue that is upsetting you.
Will it matter much five years from now? Getting a realistic perspective tends to tranquilize you if you work at it. After all, whoever is triggering your anger is probably behaving in a way that seems best to them at the time, not in a way that is deliberately dead set to hurt you.
Trying to understand the other person's needs, problems and desires will often help you to be more empathic and less hostile. Tip: Each time you feel anger starting to rear its ugly head, stop, take a time-out and calmly talk yourself down.
Another home remedy for anger management is the Self-Therapy Kit (STK). Many people who are particularly private or who have severe time constraints use them.
These are programs you use by yourself in the privacy of your own home. In a sense, using them is like having your own private anger management counselor at your personal disposal 24/7.
STKs are educational digital programs that may include e-books, CDs, DVDs, MP3s or any combination thereof to teach you the proven skills of anger management. They are inexpensive and teach you how to manage your anger in the privacy of your home.
They are particularly helpful if you have limited financial resources; they typically cost a one-time fee of anywhere from $9 to $99 or so, and the fee is only a one-time event. It is not a weekly fee you would pay for private counseling.
Self-Therapy Kits (STKs) are delivered in a multimedia format and they are self-paced, inexpensive and can be used anytime in your own home.
Dr Shery earned his doctorate in counseling at the University of Southern Calif. He is a practicing counselor in Cary, Il and an author with over 30 years experience. He provides groundbreaking Self-Therapy Kits that he uses with his own patients. They are absolutely guaranteed to eliminate anxiety, anger and agitation; if not satisfied, you get an unconditional refund. Learn more about these New Self-Therapy Kits
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