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Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Where Does Inner Confidence Come From?



When I was a teenager I was painfully shy, even with people who were "acquaintances". If the teacher called on me to read or respond to a question, I would blush.
A few weeks ago I was privileged to conduct a very elegant, high profile wedding. Years ago it would have terrified me. However, after 400 weddings, I know who I am as a wedding minister, and I know what I can do. Rather than focus in on the circumstances, I focused upon what I knew, and probably appeared to be supremely confident. No one will ever know if I really was that confident, or if I just knew how to combine experience and acting.
Reaching the heights of confidence requires a mountain of failures. And, it requires a particular mindset. That mindset realizes that other people aren't thinking about us hardly at all.. they are too busy thinking about themselves to be concerned about us.
I have the same confidence whether in a small study group (as teacher) or with a large group of uneducated workers or in a huge crowd of wealthy, famous people.. they are all the same. And, all are worthy of respect. It is an interesting thing.. when we really respect other people, they usually figure it out pretty quickly without us telling them. It is probably why I find acceptance wherever I go. (Actually, my lack of confidence and easy embarrassment as a child and teen made it difficult for people to accept me, because I was too busy being concerned about my own embarrassment.)
What is that definition of humility? The acceptance and practice of the importance of other people.
Oh...what is the difference between confidence and arrogance? If you can produce results, and know it, that is confidence. If you have to toot a brass horn about what you supposedly can do, that is arrogance. Actually, arrogance is an attitude of superiority toward other people, and it is opposite of humility.
Do you know why I am confident in my abilities? Because I know why I do what I do.. it is to help other people achieve their goals. Therefore, I dress and behave according to my part, and do my best to make a success for others. I only have one Boss, and He is always watching me. For some strange reason He loves my heart.
It is like my Dad taught me how to treat possessions. He said, if it belongs to you, treat it like it belongs to God. And, if it belongs to someone else, treat it like it belongs to God. It is a great attitude toward a job, other people, and the most precious relationships which God places in our lives. And, when we apply our talents the right way for the right reason, we have every reason to be confident... because we love God and other people.
Dan Jenkins is an ordained minister, Entrepreneur, Internet businessman and author. His wedding website, is found at
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