Search Blog Content

Monday, February 17, 2014

How One Man's Strength May Be Another's Weakness?



One of the greatest challenges faced by those who focus on optimizing and enhancing personal development is that it is often challenging, difficult or even counter - productive for us to generalize what might be the best course of action for others to pursue. Just like the adage that one's man's ceiling is another man's floor. it is also true that there are times that not only might someone's strength not be another's, but in fact if certain people attempt to proceed like someone else, it may create far less than effective and meaningful results.

1. When we consider what most people might refer to as strengths, we generally think about persistence, perseverance, drive, positive attitude, etc. When these traits and actions drive someone forward to do more, better and more effectively, they are reliable strengths. For example, if a well - prepared person is persistent, he will continue to strive to achieve, and refuse to quit prematurely. However, there may also be times when this is similar to a condition known as throwing good money after bad, when one becomes stubborn and refuses to adapt, evolve or improve upon the way he conducts himself. There is often a fine line between being persistent and stubborn, and that differentiation is based sometimes on subtle rather than pronounced differences. These include motivations, goals, attitudes, and whether we are willing to adapt and evolve. Even the most essential vision and driving dreams should only dictate the goals we set, but not limit our alternatives and plans. It is essential to be willing to adapt one's plan or approach, while focusing one what one wants to achieve.

2. Many consider things to be weaknesses, which while they might often be, are not universally so. For example, while having the drive to speak up for oneself is generally considered an important strength, when this is done in an adversarial or nasty manner, it is anything but a personal strength. When what should make us better has a demotivating or upsetting impact on others, then it transforms into a weakness. It is important for each of us to not only identify our personal strengths and weaknesses, but to also clearly understand why we consider them to be so, and how we will best utilize our strengths in an impactful, focused manner, while simultaneously addressing our weaknesses to either improve upon ourselves in those areas, or develop an inner circle of resources that will compensate for those weaknesses or inabilities.

The first and primary thing is for each of us to know ourselves well enough to enhance our abilities and potentials. Never try to be an second rate imitation of someone else, but strive to be the best you can be!
Richard has owned businesses, been a COO, CEO, and Director of Development, as well as a consultant. He has professionally run events, consulted to over a thousand leaders, and conducted personal development seminars, for over 30 years. Rich has written three books and well over a thousand articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD, LLC has an informative website: and LIKE the Plan2lead Facebook page
Article Source:

Article Source:

Sunday, February 16, 2014

How to Deal With Stress by Changing How You Feel About It



We all know stress can hurt us. But I recently learned we might be much better at dealing with stress if we change our attitudes about what stress means. In fact the harm stress does to our health may be caused more by our being stressed about stress, than the original stress itself.

Sound like I'm talking in circles? Well, I just listened to a TED Talk by Stanford psychologist Kelly McGonigal, entitled "How to Make Stress Your Friend." McGonigal confessed that after years of counseling about stress, she may have been wrong. Stress may not be the villain we think it is.
If this sounds startling, McGonigal says she was "freaked out" herself by the idea that stress could be a good thing. But her change of heart came as a result of an eight year study on 300,000 people in the U.S, all with different levels of stress.

The researchers asked the participants how stressed they considered themselves to be, and also whether or not they viewed stress as harmful to their health. Then over the course of the eight years, they tracked which participants died, and compared the death rates against the answers to their questions.
Sure enough, the people who were under a lot of stress, and also felt stress was harmful were significantly more apt to die prematurely. But surprisingly, the people who had a lot or stress, but didn't think of it as harmful, had lower death rates than the people with very little stress at all.

The Heart and Stress
We've probably all experienced our heart racing and pounding when we feel overly stressed. Over time this is what contributes to much stress related heart disease, and stroke.

The cardio-vascular effects of stress on the bodies of study participants, however, were markedly different depending on their attitudes about their stress. The blood vessels of those who believed themselves to be harmed by stress became contracted, severely limiting blood flow to their brains. But the arteries of the people who did not believe stress was harmful remained relaxed when they were under stress. Their hearts did still race, but each beat carried the blood and oxygen they needed to meet whatever challenge they were facing.

According to McGonigal, this ability to let stress pump more blood without constricting the blood vessels is the same reaction the body experiences when we feel joy, or courage. It is also what happens when we do aerobic exercise. We have to get our heart rate up to make it stronger, and a stronger heart means better health.

We experience physical stress when we lift weights, run alongside our kids as they learn to ride a bike, or carry in a load of groceries. And the more we do those things, the more we can continue to do. We don't think about those kinds of stress as harmful. We may not think of them as stressful at all.

Could changing your attitude lessen the harm of your stress?
For one thing, worrying about the stress you already have just dumps more unnecessary stress on top of whatever else you are dealing with. So dropping the worry alone is a positive move. Understanding that your heart is pounding to help you might give you more courage, knowing you will be strong enough to face stress as it comes.

We could acknowledge our stress as a signal to take action. You could sit and fret about your problems, or use the stress signal to get up and try to fix them. We almost always feel better as we move to get things done.

We could use our stress signals to remind us to breathe deep or meditate more. We could use it fuel us into a brisk walk, to get our blood pumping for all the right reasons. Whatever methods we use to deal with our stress now, the idea that stress could be our friend is certainly worth considering.
In my next article, I will review the second part of McGonigal's TED Talk, where she explains how a particular stress hormone actually keeps us connected with each other.
You can watch the entire uplifting talk at:
If you found this article helpful, please leave us a comment. We appreciate hearing from you. And don't forget to share us with your social media friends.

For more tips and great information on how to deal with stress, check out You'll also find many guided exercises and meditation methods to relieve stress, connect with your inner wisdom, and enjoy a balanced lifestyle. Visit now to get started.
Article Source:

Article Source:

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Life Is Too Short to Stay Angry



Life is so precious and so short. Then why do we waste so much time acting in ways that are harmful to us? Most people I meet say they want is to be happy and to live a peaceful life. However, we all know how difficult that can be. After all, things happen that annoy, frustrate and hurt us. We have the right to get angry. But if you're the type who gets angry at all sorts of things, you may want to look into how you are creating your own misery. In fact, anger can do terrible things to your mind and body and can even shorten your life.
By holding on to your anger, you are not allowing yourself to be forgiving. This makes you skeptical of others and fearful about getting hurt again. The problem with this attitude is that you become bitter and over time your optimism and trust diminishes; you become less tolerant of others and perhaps a little too rude and sarcastic. Plus, your body remains tense, nervous and agitated and it gets harder to shake those feelings of hostility and displeasure.

Therefore, to ruminate, rehash and mope about things that already happened, just doesn't work well on your emotional well-being So, if your goal in the latter part of your life is to have more close relationships, many friends, cordial colleagues, and an active social life, then recognize how your thoughts are self-defeating and sabotaging your good intentions.

You can ask yourself the following questions to get an honest reality check on your thinking:
1. Does being angry relax you or incite you?
2. Does blaming others make you feel loving or disconnected?
3. Does shouting really help you communicate better or does it alienate you?
4. Does worrying make you feel good or create more tension?

It seems obvious that harboring a lot of anger may actually be harmful. Understand that if you can't change your situation, you need to find another way to respond or let it go. Become aware of your reaction to things, and you'll find you have a tendency to make things worse than they actually are. Don't be like the woman who hadn't spoken to her father for three weeks and when she finally decided to make amends, he died suddenly.

Life is too short to stay angry, since there's barely enough time to do the happy, fun things. Don't waste those precious moments being angry when the time can be better spent pursuing your dreams and fulfilling your bliss. Anger has its place and time. Just don't let anger get so out of hand that it determines your daily mind-set. Your happiness depends not on your set of circumstances, but rather on how you act on it.
Amy Sherman, MA, is a therapist and Relationship/Dating Coach. She is the author of "Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer's Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life" and co-author of "99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 and Yes, 60!" Visit and receive a Special Report on Overcoming Adversity when you sign up for the free eNewsletter. Amy can be reached at 561-281-2975.

Article Source:

Article Source: