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Sunday, September 30, 2012

It's OK to Be Different - Learn to Accept Yourself!



Have you ever been judged? Have you ever been made to feel "odd" or "different"? We all have unique personality traits which go against the norm. Because of these differences, we are sometimes judged and made to feel odd or that there is something wrong with us. Because we live by set of rules and expectations, we in turn judge others by our standards. Our invitation in life is to be authentic and to operate under values that are true for us and allow others to do the same. This genuineness might make us unpopular and misunderstood but it will liberate us to be the person we were created to be. In order to be authentic, we need to understand and accept our distinctive personality style and feelings. We need to have the courage to believe that it is "OK to Be Different".
As children, we have learned to survive by being conventional; most of us gave up our right to be who we are in order to accommodate those around us. We ceased to be authentic because of a desire to please those we love and the comfort in the familiar. Being a conformist certainly made it easier for our teachers and parents but was it easier for us? By minimizing or dismissing our preference, we pretend that our inclination is "no big deal" but conforming and denial of our true self comes at a cost. The cost is that we step back from what is true for us and we use a great deal of energy to maintain the pretense that everything is fine. We disassociate from our feelings and hinder access to the Divine.
Through my training, I have discovered that some of our idiosyncrasies have more to do with our innate personality, upbringing and culture than obstinacy. For example, my Meyers Briggs Personality Style TM is often judged "cheap" by others. My personality type values conservation, minimalism and thriftiness and avoids frills and extravagance. As a result, there will always be "enough" food for a gathering, but it will be a moderate presentation, as opposed to overload. The preference is to choose modest and practical over lavish and abundance, especially when it comes to oneself. This moderation is then judged by others as "stingy or cheap".
In reality, my personality type is generous but the gift of giving is done privately and without fanfare. Not only do I come to my approach in life innately; I also come from it culturally. I was raised by a humble father, who grew up in the depression and taught us to utilize everything and never waste. His philosophy is perfectly in tuned with my Myers Briggs personality because it honors the conservation of resources. As you can see, my "cheapness" is part of the fabric of my being, in the same way that the person who judges me may be extravagant and lavish due to his personality type or family background. The challenge in life is to suspend judgment. When we begin to accept that it is "OK, to Be Different", we can accept people as they are and learn from their different type of behavior.
We are all human and because of this condition, we are imperfect and at times we disappoint others. If our intentions are pure (and we know if they are or not), we need to ignore judgment and criticism and accept ourselves. The clincher here is that we also need to do the same for others; to accept their difference and allow them idiosyncrasies. The one exception being that we are entitled to step back and disengage from people who misuse or abuse us. For the most part, people are benevolent, lack malice and are doing the best that they can. We need to become conscious when we judge others' peculiarities and differences. This can include physical appearance, such as tattoos, unusual mannerism or behavior. Years ago, my husband and I were in a supermarket checkout line. The woman in front of us was poorly dressed, wearing a thin cotton dress with bare legs and sneakers despite the fact it was snowing out. She had 3 food orders that she was paying for with food stamps. The transactions were taking a long time and the people behind us were quietly grumbling. When she came to the last order, everything stopped when she realized that she did not have enough money. You could have heard a pin drop as the cashier paged the manager. We quietly handed the cashier the amount that was needed. She thanked us with a toothless grin and explained that the food was for her 2 foster children. The judgments that we make! Here was this poorly dressed woman using food stamps in order to feed 2 foster children. How many of us would take in foster children?
Diversity is the spice of life, yet we allow people to judge our behavior and influence our actions while we do the same to others. When we are authentic, our energy is no longer being stymied by a public fa├žade and we release extraordinary power. By accepting who we are, warts and all, we model acceptance for others and help them to feel more comfortable in their own skin. This month, in order to live a life of peace, love and serenity, I invite you to notice when you judge others, suspend criticism and remind yourself that "It's OK, to Be Different".
"It took a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes" Sally Fields
My website,, is a combination of Clinical knowledge and Spirituality. Learn strategies to deal with adversity by using affirmations, visualizations and humor to develop inner strength and balance in your Mind, Body and Spirit. Since "one's words and thoughts become one's reality", allow me to teach you simple ways to re-frame your thoughts into a positive thinking pattern, in order to decrease stress and enjoy life more fully.
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Add Self Esteem to Your Basic Needs


From the first workshop I took, I knew that I wanted to teach children and their families everything I was learning about self-esteem and personal growth. All I could think about was; why aren't we teaching this stuff to children in the schools?
I found it so empowering that I almost didn't believe it. It seemed too simple, too good to be true. Really? All I had to do was learn to change my thoughts.
And thus began the journey of my life, the journey of a thousand lessons, with thousands of challenges and roadblocks along the way. But there were also some pretty amazing scenery and experiences, too.
My mission is to teach you what I've learned in the hopes that it will improve your life and change it for the better.
Choose to make the journey the destination. It is a choice. Making each step of that journey as amazing as you can make it is the key. The true destination is to take each moment and fill it with the most spectacular things that you can.
Whatever it is that you want to be, Just Be It! If you want to be happy, then Just Be Happy. If you want to be healthy, then Just Be Healthy. If you want to be successful, then Just Be Successful! If you want to be free of fear, then Just Be It!
Life is so much more about just being rather than this big, long, grueling marathon. I truly believe that God, the Universe (whatever you call your 'higher power') didn't want us to work this hard, to be this hurt, miserable and unhappy.
I read a quote from Doreen Virtue's, Healing With The Angels Oracle Cards, that stated: "Imagine if your purpose was to simply experience joy." So, I thought about it, I imagined it, I owned it, I chose it, I lived it, I felt it,... I believe it! Joy, Joy, Joy. Focus on it, breathe it, live it!
Early on in my journey, I discovered that the key to personal growth and self-esteem education was to incorporate these concepts into my life. I used tools I learned, I revamped the tools, and then I created my own tools. But what made the real difference was actually using the tools and finding ways to implement them into my day-to-day life.
Many of the articles and books have an A.C.T.I.O.N. step. Don't just say, "yeah I'll do that!" Make a plan on how you'll do it, really think about this question: how will you make it part of your day-to-day life? That is what will significantly improve your life. I guarantee it. If you truly want your life to be better and more positive, then you must do the action step. The mere commitment to the action is the foundation of building your confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.
You don't ever forget this stuff. Even when you read a book, the parts you don't need right away, will come back to you when you most need it. It's a wonderful surprise of how this works. Most personal growth books you can read over and over and over. Every time you will get different gems from them that you need at that specific stage of your life.
Self-esteem and life skills education is a fundamental basic need. These are things that all of us needed to learn as children but no one knew how critical it was until recently. I believe it is as critical as learning to read and write.
This is how you take care of your mind and heart, the two driving forces of being human. Until you master being human; you will be a slave to it. This teaches you how to be your highest best self. I believe it is the key to becoming your highest best self. This is not an option and not a luxury; it is a basic need for everyone. At some point in everyone's life there is a need for self-esteem skills.
After many years of personal growth, we have arrived at the conclusion that the real secret to becoming empowered is combining self-esteem and life skills. One inspires the other. When you have strong self-esteem you can handle life and when you learn to handle the many challenges of life your self-esteem goes up.
Be proactive and commit to learning now. Watch your life soar to a whole new level of joy, happiness, peace, health, and wealth. It is truly an amazing journey and a destination that will rock your world!
About the Author
Wendy Collier, B. Ed. is the Author and Illustrator of the Self-Esteem Angel™ Book Series for Children which are fictional stories with self-esteem concepts weaved into the plot. Collier's experiences as a former Teacher and Professional Speaker is evident in the effective tools and skills she shares. Download a FREE E-book, Watch Author Readings, Order the full series online at or Download E-Books at and
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Thursday, September 27, 2012

Question for Men: How Do You Handle Stress?



Women support each other under stress. How can men handle it more effectively?
Lets start with some basics: Stress affects both men and women. But growing evidence suggests that women do a better job of getting support from others, and in general, they manage stress more effectively. Take a look around you in the workplace. With more women at work and in management positions, which sex does the better job of supporting each other? Hint: Would you be surprised to hear at work, "Let's meet at lunch and talk about it, girlfriend." Thought not. Yeah, guys sit down together too, but how often is it for emotional support.
In this era of seemingly unending financial and job uncertainty, how do men reverse the trend and begin dealing effectively with stress? The first steps are to recognize that you are stressed and then to figure out where the stress is coming from.
Your major stressors
According to recent studies, men are stressed most by the following:
Money. Duh! Who is not worried about the economy and our personal finances during these difficult times? Are you carrying these worries around like a piano on your back?
Work. The logistics and politics of our jobs have become far trickier as businesses cut close to the bone and ask for more effort and accountability from each employee.
Family expectations. Your spouse and children are depending on you to maintain the status quo. You can handle it in most cases, but stress and its effects-including irritability, anxiety, and depression-are the price you pay.
Marriage/relationship difficulties. Not smooth sailing between you and your S.O.? You can push it to the back of your mind when you leave the house, but relationship stress affects you all day long, unless you do something about it.
Health. Has your health been slipping over the years? This is often one of the areas you can address effectively-and it helps reduce stress in the other areas.
Not enough downtime. How much time do you give yourself to simply chill? Or are you stuck in your man cave wrapping up unfinished business after dinner? Read a good book. Watch a favorite show with a spouse. Walk or run in the woods. Take the bike out. Do you plan vacations, or do you get away briefly as an afterthought?
Sex. Is the physical intimacy in your marriage or relationship a stress reducer or does it add stress?
Little stuff. Taken together they add up, don't they? Your commute, the leaky faucet, household chores (which become harder to outsource as you look to save money), finding time to pay the bills and balance the checkbook-the list goes on.
How to cope-and thrive!
Most men experience stress from some of the areas listed above. The question is: what do you do about your stressors? How do you get unstuck and jump off the stress merry-go-round you ride on each day? Here are some healthy, tried-and-true ways to do it:
  • Solve your financial problems. People worse off than you are taking big steps. Make a plan. Reduce expenses. Share the management of your finances with your partner. Put your plan down on paper and reserve a time-Saturday morning, Wednesday evening, doesn't matter-to spend a specific period of time, no more, no less. Get help from your bank, your creditors, or a well-respected credit counseling service. You will be surprised at how much they will cooperate and offer realistic solutions.
  • Develop a new interest. There's an adage in the business world: "If you want something done, give it to a busy person." Make yourself busier by finding time to do something for the pure passion and enjoyment. Take a course at one of your community resources. Join a meetup group. Whether it's hiking in the woods, writing that story you always thought you could write, joining the local sports enthusiast group-think outside the box and try new ways of bringing energy into your life. There's a payoff to doing something just for yourself. It makes your work and home obligations seem less daunting by changing how you think about them.
  • Exercise. That thought that you have? That there's just no time? Let me tell you up front: that's a self-deception. Making it a top priority to exercise will reduce stress, increase your energy, and lead to a "take care of business" attitude that will get you moving in other areas of your life. Walk, jog, bike, get to a gym-whatever it takes, because this is a big one.
  • Eat right. Recent studies have shown a correlation between weight gain and stress. Are you numbing yourself against the stress with thoughtless snacking or overeating at meals?
  • Sleep. Get the sleep your body needs-7-8 hours a night. Sleep heals you both physically and psychically.
  • Get yourself checked out. Research has shown that men delay doctor visits more than women, often waiting until major symptoms arise. Get to the doctor now, find out what toll your stress has taken, especially on blood pressure and your heart. Follow a good plan to reverse the trend.
  • Kick the habits. Smoking, drinking, gambling. Don't be fooled. They may provide an illusion of temporary relief. But in the long run, they add stress. Develop a plan to quit your self-destructive habits.
  • Get help. If you continue to be dogged by stress and need help to implement the steps listed above, talk with a counselor or therapist to isolate and work your underlying issues. With experience in stress management and the symptoms that stress can lead to-such as anxiety and depression, I can be an ally.
One thing you don't want to do-simply live with stress and hope it goes away someday, "when things get better." It's up to you to make it "get better." Know that you are not alone and have help from many sources.
Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here:
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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Get Out of Overwhelm



In order to keep up with all the things there are to do, leaders know the importance of keeping good records. Some of us have lists and lists of things we would like to do. Some of us have no lists but ideas and dreams in our heads of where our life needs to go. It is sometimes hard to keep up with it all. We need to be sure to write down what it is we need to do. We need to be sure we weed out some of the things which may not be that important or part of God's plan for us. We need to be sure we persevere and continue on doing what God is calling us to do.
Writing things down and sorting our thoughts and ideas out are good ways to bring structure to our plans. When we feel something is pressing on our hearts or minds to do, we should write it down. We should write out in detail what we feel is important about doing that particular thing and date it. Writing things down gives us confirmation that a plan is forming in our minds. Seeing that idea or thought on paper helps us plant it into our minds.
Not all ideas or thoughts we write down will be part of God's plan for us. We may write down 80 percent of ideas that never really come into fruition. We know we can't do everything in life and be good at it so we need God to help us weed out what things we need to eliminate or put off so we can focus only on what things we need to do right away. God can help us remove the things He doesn't want us to do. He can help us sort through the mess of ideas that come to us and focus on what His plan is for us.
Getting things on paper and deciding what is most important to work on is a great start. Some may say it's the easy part. The next step is to get started. The next step is not to give up. The next step is to stay focused and persevere so we can complete the tasks God has highlighted for us to do. There will be setbacks. There will be issues. There will be struggles. However, going in knowing God will get us through all things and teach us along the way will be incentive to continue on.
Leaders do have a great deal going on in their lives between home, work and other activities. However, writing them down helps to get the things they need to do off their minds and onto paper. Sorting them out helps us to see what things are most important to God. Persevering helps us learn along the way about what we need to do next and what things we need to change so we can keep going. Remembering these three things will allow us to make the difference God wants us to make and not get overwhelmed along the way.
Need more motivation? Please visit and sign up for our free daily devotionals regarding how you can apply God's word to your life.
Want to make a difference in your life and the lives of others? Try Breadcrumbs. These motivational cards with action steps will help you to improve and you can leave them behind to help others do the same.
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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Improve Social Skills - How to Meet Friends


The technology of today has us practically a recluse in our homes and offices when it comes to talking with people face to face. How are you supposed to make that "perfect" connection on the phone, email, web or text? You take it back to "old school" and make an effort get out there and meet people in person.
Do you like to play golf? I bet someone in your industry does also. What about attending seminars? You probably see a lot of similar minded people out there looking for a personal connection too. Many business deals are made on the golf course, so you may want to look into taking some lessons. Plus, its a stress reliever. Win-Win.
You can add value to you and your business simply by knowing someone that will benefit someone else. In turn, they might know someone needing your service also. That's networking at its finest.
Dr. Ivan Misner, the Founder & Chairman of Business Networking Institute, is quoted as stating, "Who do you work with on a regular basis that provides complimentary services to yours? A plumber needs to know a kitchen installer and a plasterer. Photographers, wedding car hire, florists and cake makers have a constant flow of referrals in all directions."
How do you take your "virtual" connections and translate them to personal connections? Try attending seminars that your colleagues and customers attend. A hugely beneficial site for you to commercially connect is LinkedIn. This is a wonderful site to promote yourselves, your business, provide a short resume, recommendations etc. In this site, you may join groups that interest your or your business.
Find groups to join and learn from on LinkedIn. A sample group is LinkedOC headed by Bryan Elliott. He started this group for business professionals in Orange County, CA. who wanted to learn how to better themselves and their business. Every month he schedules a guest speaker with a topic of interest at a local hotel. Each month, more than 200+ professionals converge in a conference room to meet each other, generate business for themselves and for others at the social hour held before and after the seminar.
Look also for business groups such as BNI-short for Business Networking International to join. This grouping of business professionals are amazing. Not only will you meet new people almost weekly, but you will be able to meet the people that know the people in our group. What a phenomenal way to expand your business horizons!
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Monday, September 24, 2012

Overcoming Awkwardness


Awkwardness takes many forms. When we're a teenager, we often feel awkward because of all the changes that are taking place in our bodies. But there are also situations later in our life when that feeling of awkwardness crops up again. Here are some simple ways of overcoming awkwardness.

1. Start smiling

Smiles just ease tension. It really is that simple.

If you wander around with a look of doom and gloom, almost as though you're being followed by your own miniature version of Thor, then you will repel people or they'll feel awkward when they're near you.

But if you begin to smile more often, you'll more often than not get the same reaction from other people. Putting them more at ease will, in turn, help to put you more at ease being around other people.

2. Make eye contact

If you've made a habit of looking everywhere else in the room apart from into other people's eyes then this may increase your feeling of awkwardness at first.

It's worth persevering with this though.

Looking someone in the eye when you're talking with them shows that you are actually taking an interest in the conversation rather than staring at a screen or another person somewhere else in the room.

Don't worry if you don't get this totally right at first but do make a conscious effort to make - and keep - eye contact more often and for longer periods of time.

3. Memorize names

If you're currently no good at remembering other people's names then this should be high up on your list.

One of the things that makes is feel awkward is when someone approaches us and we can't remember their name. It sends a message to your subconscious that either you've just got bad manners because you've forgotten a name or, worse still, it can trigger a feeling of talking to strangers.

So work out a way of memorizing the names of people you meet. There are lots of different ways of doing this but one that works for a lot of people is to repeat back their name as soon as you meet them, a bit like a parrot would. Then weave it into the conversation a few times without sounding contrived. This will help reinforce the name associated with the face in your memory.

4. Make conversation
Even if it's polite, small talk, style conversation.

I find that the best way to do this is to actually rehearse what I'm going to say before a meeting that I know will happen. Run the conversation through in your mind or, even better, out loud.

The more you practice conversing with other people - ideally in an actual two way conversation - the better you will get. It's like any other skill, even if it seems daunting at first.

5. Be comfortable with yourself

The more at ease you are with yourself, the less awkward you'll feel.

So make sure that you're happy with the clothes you're wearing, how your hair looks, all those kind of details.

If you're not totally happy with the way your body looks, accept that it will take time to change this and learn to get yourself more at ease with this as time goes by. Do your best to reduce your feeling of being uncomfortable with yourself and you'll find your awkward feelings will reduce as well.

Get more help with overcoming awkwardness including how you can be less shy socially.
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Thursday, September 20, 2012

What Is Positive Thinking or a Positive Mindset?


What is Positive Thinking?
Simply, positive thinking is the opposite of negative thinking. Positive thinking might take place in your mind, when you feel happy or when you have achieved something you have been wanting to achieve for a while. It's a little voice in your head (the one that's reading these words), that can put us in a more positive frame of mind on a day-to-day basis as we go about our lives.
Positive thinking is also one way a person can experience the feelings of positive emotions such as joy, happiness, excitement.
It may also put a smile on our faces and a bounce in our step, and make us look forward to things more.
Whether one has positive thoughts or negative thoughts, our minds are occupied with thoughts and depending on some factors, for some, positive thinking occurs more often than for others. But the great thing is that positive thinking is a skill that can be taught, learned, practiced and mastered such as you would be taught sports, practice music, learn a new language or master a subject.
Positive thinking can also become a Mind Set which is the next level of just having positive thoughts from time to time. A Positive Mind Set is such that the majority of your thoughts will be positive. And again for some people, the opposite may be true, but through proven steps, tools and practice, anyone can reprogram their mind to counteract negative thoughts and a negative mindset.
Why positive thinking?
Positive thinking is valuable to us in many ways. For example, if you're competing in a cross country or marathon event at a sports day, and you're running and running, feeling like your legs are going to collapse under you and your stitch will kill you,... you feel weak, muscles are melting, your lungs feel like they're going to burst and every step is agony. Like many top sports people do, they will use positive thinking to push through, not just to get over the finishing line, but to win. A positive mindset is also referred to as a "Winner's Mind Set".
Who wouldn't want that?
And as we have established, positive thinking is the opposite of negative thinking. Negative thinking is the other voice or even other voices in our heads that might tell us we are stupid when we make mistakes or fail at something. Negative thinking can mentally paralyse some people too and stop us from asking for what we really want in our lives. For others, it might make them worry about things that may or may not happen.
With a positive mindset, you end up making better decisions, feel good and generally function better in life.
Positive thinking fuels positive energy which is a much higher and lighter energy than negative thinking and negative energy which is heavier and brings you down.
Imagine you are invited to go to a party or an event and you think negative thoughts such as,
"I won't go, no one will like me; I hate those people anyway"
Do you think you would be getting off to a good start to make new friends let alone a good impression? In fact you probably will end up not even going.
What if you went into it thinking
"How fun, new outfit!! I'll wear my new shoes!! All these new people I can get to know (or get to know me) I'm going to have so much fun!"
Which mindset do you think is going to end up having more energy and who do you think will actually go, stay and meet new friends at the party?
Positive thinking is not... about lying to yourself, or being fake. It's important to be realistic and truthful. Your brain will know if you aren't being authentic.
In order to begin thinking positive and living a life from a positive mindset, we have to start noticing positive things that occur all day long. This is being "conscious".
Being conscious is being aware of the thoughts you have, both positive and negative. It is also about noticing what's going on around you and how you internally react to these things and then translate and digest them into being positive or negative.
So to develop your positive thinking skills, beginning with being conscious is important. This is so you can really differentiate between negative and positive thoughts as they occur.
Thanks for taking the time to read, please let me know your (positive or negative) thoughts.
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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Use These Effective Time Management Strategies

  by: Merrie C. Weeks

If you desire to have good time management then you need to have a strategy or an action plan. Following these strategies will help you get the most out of your days.

First thing to do is Prioritize your work.

Start each day by ranking the things that you much do. Starting with the most important and unpleasant tasks first, then go from there. Those things that can wait for later that day should be listed towards the bottom of your list. Don't make your list too long because there are only so many hours in a day and you don't want to feel like you will never get it all accomplished.

Second thing is to Assign Work Time Frame for each task.

At first this might not seem realistic but it is mostly so that you will have some sort of idea how long it will take to finish each task. You will find that once you start a task, it won't really take very long unless it is a big project. If so, then break it down so that you can see some progress.

Third Be Flexible.

Unexpected things come up from time to time so if you have to stop to take care of some other matter, do not worry and stress out if you don't accomplished a certain task in the time frame you set. Just like the saying goes, "Rome wasn't built in a day" so make sure you allow for those time when things come up. Don't let these things such as phone calls, important emails,kids and life in general frustrate you, the important thing to remember is that you are making

progress on your list.

Fourth thing is to Say No if it isn't important.

Whether you work from home or out of the home there are things that can distract us and waste time. Limit small talk with co-workers, family, friends, etc. while you are working. Respect your decision to make a plan and stick to it. Others will need to understand that if it isn't something that needs to be taken care of right this minute then it can wait.

Fifth is to Delegate.

Remember that you probably can't do everything yourself so if there is a task that you might not be very good at or like doing and there is someone that can do the task then by all means pass it on. In this way the task will get done and you won't waste time putting it off because you can't accomplish it yourself.

Compromise when necessary.

As your day progresses the urgency of a task may also change. There may be times when your tasks will need to be re-prioritized, rescheduled, postponed or dropped altogether, making adjustments

if things come up that needs your attention is important.

Everyone has limitations and if you realize what those are then you will know what you can work on later to improve those skills or know in advance what tasks you will need help with.

Learning to manage your time is not to stress your day so remember to relax and learn as you go. The more you practice managing your time, the better you will get at it. Time management is so that you will take control of your days and see how much you really can accomplish each day and then enjoy some time with family and friends. This is your only viable option no matter where you are working, this is the only way to accomplish anything worthwhile.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The Reason Why Fear of Failing Damages Our Way Of Life


Could we be too perfect?
Higher accomplishing professionals pride themselves upon their own successes in academia, activities, hobbies and interests, and also careers. Routinely smashing through goals and objectives and being successful, each and every goal creates a never fail sort of thinking that creates some sort of individual disability when dealing with high risk. With each achievement, a possible failure looks excruciating, which generates a total fear relating to failure.
Staying the number of added hours, passing up your family meals, along with reducing personal lifestyles are generally are just some of the behaviors that high achievers make in order to avert a potential failure. That surrounds these individuals and haunts these individuals. Perfect can be an excellent success that is widely accepted as not possible, although the reach to become the impossible provides many of us a purpose. This purpose of perfection throws the natural balance of our own lives off, after half a century, doesn't provide us much to look back on.
Maintaining an Equilibrium
A lot of people run the daily gauntlet of maintaining a social life while trying to succeed in the market. It appears impossible occasionally, however the effort is often there. Are we in balance? Is losing sleep during the week really worth the payoff of a great time and a little more money? I really don't think so, here is why.
Stress certainly is the leading reason for illness in America. It's getting more prevalent that reducing stress through more sleep is critical to sustain our overall health. Stress is shown to cause significant damage in more than a single area including our immune system, hypertension, and quality of sleep to name a few.
Less sleep causes an increase in weight. Losing sleep causes us to eat more calories and choose foods dense in fat and sugar.
A study in 2005 revealed that individuals that get less than 5 hours of sleep are 2.5 times more likely to be diabetic, and people that got at the very least six hours rest or less were 1.7 times very likely.
Increased blood pressure. A rise in blood pressure leads to obstructive sleep apnea, and worsens the possible lack of sleep that you will be already getting, which creates a limitless cycle.
More prone to depression. With less rest, you're quite likely going to get depression because of large mood swings through a hormonal imbalance, a process that is needed for one's body to complete while asleep.
You age more quickly. The possible lack of sleep prevents one's body from fully healing, and weakens your immunity mechanism.
Maintaining a lively schedule may seem productive, but it only prevents us from stopping and realizing where we all are experiencing and enjoying the moment that we're in. Hard work at the appropriate time is essential, but a balance of working hard and rest should be maintained. Remember, we are on borrowed time and the journey is a lot more crucial compared to the goal.
You can find more information about overcoming fear at
Thanks for reading
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Craving for Success?


Are you spending a lot of time thinking and thinking and rethinking about your options for having a successful life?
Are you trying over and over to find out what traits and capabilities successful people have that you think you lack?
This is when you are craving for success; you feel you have it inside you, the potential, the talent and the dedication but you just don't know how to make it true. Success really starts with an internal feeling that you are born to be successful and it is a feeling that just never ends but keeps on growing. Success is a track that you have to walk through, some people choose to walk and others to run so simply you choose which way you want to follow to be successful.
One simple advice for you seeking success is to feel this pleasurable feeling inside and then just do anything you can to transform this feeling into something materialistic that you can see and others can appreciate you for.
Every minute that passes in your day is a minute you lost so try to plan for all your time.
In life you will face many challenges and the hardest is when you challenge yourself. We all have 24 hours per day whether we are successful or not but the point is that some people know how to use every second of their time and those are the ones you should be observing well.
The top six steps you must have to start working and to be successful:
1. Be creative or find a creative partner to work with because a creative idea is your biggest asset in any business.
2. Take the idea into action and start PLANNING; Do some research in this step and see what similar ideas were done before and whether they were a success or failure and know why and just start to plan what tasks you need to be done.
3. Build a dedicated team because every success involves team work and don't let financial stuff ruin this because there are many people out there waiting for your call to work on a private work so start looking for this team within your friends and neighbours first then start looking outside. If you have a creative idea you easily can bring a group of enthusiastic players with you to form a brilliant team.
4. Assess your team's potential and capabilities and engage them in the idea and start dividing tasks among them.
5. Put deadlines for every task and monitor the daily work.
6. Marketing and Marketing. Marketing is your door to the real world so never rely on one marketing technique. Marketing is what will distinguish you from others; it is what will form your image, what will make you succeed or fail, and what will make your idea become real.
Now put a big title on a plain paper saying "i am successful" and then start with the steps and start planning for your life and believe in you and just then what you dream of will be just one step away.
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Monday, September 17, 2012

13 Reasons to Love Yourself



Love is an adventure of discovery, whether the object of your love is a person, place, idea, or even your own self. Love involves desiring to know and serve someone or something that we love, and then setting out to explore and support the beloved through all seasons. The act of loving stretches us beyond our ordinary wants and needs, to include the desires and essentials of the one we love. The process of loving reveals and creates us as surely as it weaves an unbreakable bond between us and the object of our love, even when our service is unknown to the beloved. The love we offer serves to fulfill primal needs of our beloved: to be seen and acknowledged, understood and accepted, wanted and chosen. Likewise, our essential need to be useful is also satisfied. In a mysterious way that supports rather than diminishes our individuality and autonomy, we belong to what we love, and together we belong to Love itself, to that universal force that is infinitely grander than our individual selves. Lover and beloved, then, each has cause to feel safer in being fully ourselves, to give birth to and sustain the light and shadow of our being, no matter where be-ing leads us, and when.
When a person genuinely loves her or his own self, all of us win. Authentic self-love is an essential element of any healthy relationship between two human beings or 2 billion, or between a human and the Earth. Here are 13 reasons that self-love is an awesome part of a healthy love diet:
  1. The more completely you love yourself, the more fully you can love others.
  2. When you love yourself, you are better able to identify your passions, and more likely to live out of them, resulting in greater abundance for you and others.
  3. When you love yourself, you are more likely to make authentic choices about what you do, where you go, and how you act.
  4. You'll also have greater access to qualities within you such as courage, discipline, and perseverance that are necessary for fully living your dreams.
  5. When you love yourself, you may deter, counteract, or even endure bullying. Kids and adults who consciously love themselves are less likely to bully others, more likely to intervene when they witness bullying, and less likely to take a bully's hurtful words and actions to heart.
  6. Genuine self-love unleashes creativity in work and play and in personal and professional relationships.
  7. People like being around and supporting those who treat themselves lovingly. I'm not suggesting that we should do or be anything inauthentic simply to attract companions. However, humans are social creatures, and the reality is that love-filled people attract us.
  8. Even authentic self-love doesn't always translate into good feelings. But the woman who treats herself with love, even when she doesn't feel great about herself, is more likely to offer life-giving love to other people who don't seem so worthy of it, but are in dire need of it.
  9. When you love yourself, you are more likely to treat your body in healthy ways. You'll eat better, be more active, and get sufficient rest.
  10. You are also more likely to treat your mind in healthy ways. You'll educate yourself about things you consider important and exercise your creativity to solve problems.
  11. You are more likely to treat your heart in healthy ways. You'll pay attention to your emotions and the insights they may bear.
  12. And you are more likely to treat your spirit in healthy ways. You'll look at the interdependent whole of life, of which you are but a part, and you'll look for ways to make significant contributions to us out of your giftedness.
  13. Finally, life is so much more fun when you're in love... with yourself!
No doubt there are plenty of other awesome reasons to love yourself. Take some time to consider your history of loving and being loved. Within your stories you'll find more reasons for loving yourself as well as others.
I'd love to hear about them.
Tom McLaughlin, Jr. is a writer, teacher, speaker, and integrative coach. He earned a BA in English from the University of Notre Dame. His MA from Marylhurst University focused on Spiritual Traditions and Ethics, and his thesis explored the relationship between telling personal stories and being an authentic human being. Check out the e-book and audio program of "100 Ways to Love Yourself... And Why It Matters" at
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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

How the Media Affects the Perception of Beauty


So, today beauty is defined by the skinny or boney legs, the explosive makeup or the six-pack.
Media does not only corrupt the way you look in the mirror, but it depresses you. Media defines things that should have remained without a definition. In many forms, from commercials to movies all the way down to cartoons.
Within the shallowness, the variable definitions remain similar, with the beautiful girl always of a specific shape and the guy dresses in a specific way and both remain with zero personality.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
It's true that media has hacked the minds of many men and women alike and directed their attraction to a specific shape and manner, yet beauty is not only in the shape or the thickness of the lips, but rather beauty is the person as a whole. You should not lose weight unless you want to get in a better shape. Yes, a better shape might mean the skinny, but not the boney.
I am yet to see one commercial that speaks of healthier beauty rather than the "skinny" beauty. Cosmetics and plastic surgery are not the answer to beauty. There is a fine line between artificial and natural beauty. Your skin might get irritated on the short or the long term of the powder you apply to your skin and your immune system might be weakened by the steroids you take.
So, what to do? You don't have to listen to the media and what it throws at you. Media does not always work in your favor, so, you should never change the way you see things because a commercial told you to. You should first listen to the sound of reason that tells you what to do instead of doing something you may regret later.
While bodybuilding and losing weight are always extreme processes that take time, the natural way is always the best. Do not starve yourself to lose weight and do not take pills that would starve you unless you're prescribed to. Do not take steroids that would damage your health later on just to reach the body you want for a limited time.
Always keep it healthy. Do not shy away from asking what this medicine contains or what the side effects are.
With that all being said, doing something you do not want to do will only work for so long. Why would you starve yourself because this guy likes skinny girls? The outer appearance will fade with age; it's life's cycle and only the inner beauty remains forever. If you believe that having a certain body or shape will make someone fall in love with you, you're definitely mistaken. If you think that plastic surgery will help you attract men, you are wrong.
There is no standard for beauty. Every man and woman sees beauty differently. We are blessed with a variety of options that differ from a person to the other and ultimately, the 'falling in love' process does not require artificial types of beauty. The only thing you need to do is to keep your health on the top of your priorities.
By the time you're a healthy 70 year old, you will remain beautiful. Health is an unchangeable priority in your life., The ultimate source for self understanding 10,000,000 Million visits and counting.
Beautiful women psychology
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Man Vs Ants - Who Will Win?


Are you smarter than ant? You may say what kind of question is this? Or you may answer emphatically with a resounding yes. After all we are bigger, therefore our brains are bigger. They are tiny, therefore they have little brains. Right? Can you even picture the size of an ants' brain? It must be really tiny, right? Maybe so, maybe not.
Ok, here's the scenario that possessed me to ask such a question. Last year around this time just on the cusp of summer. I had a little ant problem. These little bastards decided that my home was the perfect location to scavenge for food after a long hibernation over the winter. The decision was made and they mounted an all-out attack around my kitchen sink. They marched obediently in a single file, reminiscent of my old army days. Some were coming and some were going. I just assumed they had to find food to feed the big fat queen, somewhere in the lair.
Upon witnessing this, I decided that my home was not big enough for my family and a whole army of ants. So I decided to fight back. I waged an all-out chemical warfare. I went to the local hardware store and bought some ant bait. I read the instructions carefully and mounted my own attack. The label said to put the bait in the infested area. I thought to myself, perfect, I'll just put the bait where they will have cross over it. So I put the bait smack middle in their perfect little single file trail they had going.
Upon encountering the bait, some scattered, some went around it, and some decided to eat it. Before long they all began to feast on the bait. I said to myself, good, eat and die you little bastards, and went about my business. A few hours later, I came back to check on my bait, and as expected, they was a mass of dead ants around it. A trail of dead ants all the way to the crack where they came from. My only hope now was that maybe some of the ants took the bait all the way to the queen. Terminating the queen is the only way to totally eradicate the population, as she lays millions of eggs at a time. Anyway, my ant problem was solved and I never saw another ant for the rest of the summer. The skull and crossbones on the package of the ant bait really meant something.
Fast forward one year, the following summer around the same time. At first I saw one little straggling ant. Not a threat, nothing the mighty hammer fist of a human hand can't handle, smash. Then there were two ants, the following day, hmmmm, then more and more. Ok, no problem, I know exactly how to deal with this. I went and got my bait with the skull and crossbones on it. But wait, I thought to myself, this thing was supposed to kill the entire colony along with the queen. Anyway, I was happy to be able to get rid of them for the entire season. So once again I mounted a counter attack.
Read Part II here
These are stories from my everyday observation. I'm all about self improvement and self empowerment and helping those around me. I write fitness articles also. For more or to receive email notifications about new articles or blogs, please visit my site at
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