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Sunday, May 23, 2010

Get What You Want Through Better Communication

By Roger Engle
Have you ever stopped to realize just how important communication is to you? Not being able to connect with other people not only stops you from accomplishing your goals and needs but could also threaten your overall wellbeing. Yet many people have little to no communication skills and are doomed to continual problems in life - problems like not being able to get or hold a good job, not being able to maintain a meaningful relationship, not able to form friendships and more. But there is no reason for this - lack of good communication skills can indeed be overcome.
Being able to communicate well is a lot like being physically fit. Someone who doesn't use their muscles (by working out) will gradually lose muscle tone and get flabby. The same "use it or lose it" principle applies to communication skills. The more we interact with others, the more we practice our public speaking, the better at communicating we become.
If you're someone who has little to no contact with others and feel very insecure about approaching others at all, then start small. Go to a cafe, sit down, and when the waitress comes over order a cup of coffee. Some people are so insecure and apprehensive about human contact that even this is a major undertaking. As you progress, you can work up to small talk. Always clear and concise; no mumbling please. Believe that what you have to say is important - because if you don't, I can assure you that no one else will either.
History has shown just how fundamental communication is in order to grow, thrive and to become better tomorrow than we are today. When you look at the development of humankind and of our brains, you can understand the magnitude. Intelligence is important, but intelligence on its own is not an guarantee you'll be able to succeed in life. Your capacity to communicate well, and connect with others will enable you to not only survive but excel in business and life. All the knowledge in the world won't help if you can't relate or explain any of it to others.
When we communicate, we're speaking with more than just words. The message is also relayed by body language, tone and emphasis. Body language includes use of our hands and facial expressions as well as our stance and posture. Our tongue and larynx give tone, pitch and emphasis. It is these fine details that have enabled us to more clearly define ourselves and our beliefs, desires, etc. Work on your communications skills today and every day. It's generally accepted that people that are better communicators live longer, happier lives (probably because they get what they want!)
Roger enjoys writing and working on his communication skills. He also enjoys collecting neon signs. You can visit his his new website over at and check out the great deals on Neon Beer Lights.

Conflicts and Depression

By David Smith Junior
Conflict is a very dangerous thing in our life. It can destroy our nervous system and change our attitude to life. As a result, it can cause depression. It is so bad when you have a conflict with your close friends or relatives. Why do people not understand each other? Why is it so difficult to find compromise? Very often everyone does it best to change the situation.
Once two my close friends could not understand each other for a long time. Their conflict had continued for five months until one of them left the country on vacation. After his return they have not seen each other. I tried to find out reasons of their conflict. As a result, I explored that they are absolutely different people who have different life meanings and goals. Moreover, they tried to change each other. Everyone considered that he is right. From my point of view, they made the right decision to stop communicating because each of them has different ways to happiness.
From my own experience, it is very difficult to recognize that your close friends are not as close as you want. It is so pity when people cannot understand and do not trust each other. Every action of a person, with whom your have a conflict, is perceived as the worst one. People who hate each other cannot be objective.
They do not want to accept his or her opinion and try to spoil life of each other. However, they do not understand that revenge destroys first of all their own life because they start to spend all their time and attempts in order to find methods how spoil life of another person. The best method to have revenge is to be happy. Try to use all your efforts to achieve success because it can help you forget about hurt and start new life.
For more information about me and my struggle with depression, please, go to

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Gaining a Sense of Self Worth

By Lynn Bradley
Having a sense of self worth is the feeling that you deserve what you desire. It resembles self efficacy, the capacity to produce an effect, and self confidence. Having self worth enables one to feel good about self and be successful. A lack of such a feeling hinders reaching any goal one might have. You are unique. There is no one exactly like you. Act like you believe that you are a valuable person.
Those who do not have as many talents as others often lack a feeling of self worth. They feel like second class citizens. The worth of a person should not be based on performance however. Everyone was made in the image of God and is precious in his eyes. Everyone has some ability. It is your job to discover and develop your strong points. You have to start believing in yourself.
The first step in gaining a self worth feeling is to discover who you are. You have to get in touch with your feelings. What do you enjoy doing? What would you like to accomplish in life?
You have abilities you may not even know about. There is something you have a passion for. Many simply get a job and continue in it without getting in touch with their feelings. More than 90 per cent of the population never find their niche.
You have to discover what you are good at. Examine the desires you have suppressed because of your lack of self worth. What would you like to do more than anything else? Make it your purpose in life.
Get the education you need to do it, and talk to people in that field. Make your passion your career. Specialize in it. Medical and other specialists are highly respected. When you become proficient in your passion, you will be respected too.
Without a goal you will drift through life without a purpose. Set a goal that you can reach. Then set a bigger goal. Celebrate when you reach each goal. You will feel better about yourself with every goal reached.
As you begin to become successful, you will gain confidence and a feeling of self worth. Learn to think positively. Your momentum will propel you over obstacles in the way.
Some people believe in themselves before they accomplish anything. Others have to achieve something before they have confidence in themselves. Everyone gains self confidence as they accomplish things. This builds self efficacy and gives a feeling of self worth. Success builds the confidence to have more success, and unfortunately failure breeds more failure. You have to break the cycle of failure with success..
You should have a sense of self worth without accomplishing anything because everyone is created equally. A study of great people will reveal that most of them had to overcome tremendous odds just to survive. When they finally reached success, the great effort they had to put forth propelled them far above the average person. If you have had to struggle, you may be destined to become great.
Looking at the talent of others can cause you to look down on your own perceived lack of ability. Instead of looking at others, we need to look within our self. Everyone has ability. It has to be developed. You do not know how much ability you have until you have examined your inner feelings and tried some things. You will discover that some tasks come naturally. God gives everyone enough ability to accomplish what they desire to do. The book, "Climbing the Heavenly Stairs" describes how importantly believing in yourself is. To accomplish what you desire, you cannot depend on what you see. You have to rely on what you believe. Believe in yourself enough to click on the following link.

EasyCalm Review - Is it Worth Trying?

By Vitaly V
EasyCalm is a 10-part downloadable video series aimed to help panic and anxiety sufferers in eliminating future episodes. Each video is filmed in a manner that it makes you feel as if you are in a one-on-one coaching or training session. The videos are informative and suggest certain steps to regain control over your life.
EasyCalm shares with you a reason why individuals become restless in a number of events. It helps you learn elementary strategies through which you may no longer experience panic attacks. The videos show you the convenient way for preventing recurrences of panic attacks.
An interesting part regarding the videos is that they are not books that you go on reading without practicing the techniques in real life. They are videos making you feel that you are in a room with someone sitting beside you and educating on the issues that you are facing, thereby offering help to resolve your problems.
In each video, EasyCalm takes anxiety sufferers through those steps that help them in recovering from anxiety. You may easily download this coaching program onto your computer immediately after you buy it. Forget about waiting for any DVD to reach you through mail. EasyCalm allows you to get started at once, after you download it.
EasyCalm videos provide with information as how to beat anxiety successfully and restore life back to normalcy. You may not print the videos for viewing them offline, which any downloadable book allows. However, for people who prefer not reading, this indeed is a best program for them.
For anxiety sufferers, EasyCalm promises to offer them the opportunity to view first session of the videos free. The complete video series is 3 hours and 20 minutes long. The videos are of better quality. Moreover, the audio has excellent recording, which makes it convenient to watch the videos as well as listen them.
Each EasyCalm videos follow one logical progression while you go from step one through to step ten. 'Instant Tranquility', a program by EasyCalm in its videos collection, is a session for soothing panic and anxiety attacks quickly.
To read actual consumers feedback and detailed review visit EasyCalm review page.
EasyCalm review

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Ideas For Controlling Stress

In the past, the need for research has not been something that was needed. Now that stress has been shown to help bring about diseases, it is more important. These studies have brought some ideas and programs that will help to reduce stress.
What is the big deal about stress and controlling it? Studies show that stress is one of the major causes of illnesses and diseases. It is not the main reason for the disease or illness but it gives you a feeling of being sick and this in turn gives you a more susceptible attitude for being sick.
Some of the ideas and programs for controlling stress do not help. There are many that do give someone who is dealing with stress some relief.
Listed below are some of the more effective ways to control. You may find that some of them are common to you.
Admitting You Have Emotions
When the nervous system reacts it is called stress. Anyone who has done investigations into stress will find that you have the desire to run away from it or to stay and fight it. The stress by itself is not the danger, it is the energy that is not eliminated from the body. This energy will wear the body down after a long period of time if not gotten rid of. The best thing for you to do is to start by showing emotion. If you see something funny, laugh out loud. This will get rid of some of that energy. If you are mad, then allow yourself to be mad. It is not healthy to hold it inside.
Starting some sort of exercise routine will help to send the energy into the right places. If you are mad, the gym may be a good place for you to go and take it out on a punching bag. The body will be ready to fight when you are mad, boxing is great for relieving this stress.
Take Over The Madness
It is important for you to be able to allow your emotions to come out. The bad emotions like being mad should be controlled. A good attitude and patience will help you gain control and stop the stress or at least reduce it. If you are able to take a hold on your anger, the need to fight or to run will not occur.
Taking Control Of Your Time Reduces Stress
One of the oldest ways to reduce your stress level is to take control of your time. This is a part of stress that is known as business stress. This type of stress is caused by the amount of time we are losing to something else. When you take control of your time and begin to be the boss of it, the stress will be lowered.
Be Happy With Your Life
When you are feeling happy, this will be the best for you. Being happy is all in your mind. You need to start thinking in this way and you will become happier. What is it that will bring about your happiness at this moment? If you mind is telling you that you would like to watch a movie then make arrangements to watch the movie. Think positive and bring along a friend to enjoy it with you.

Reducing Stress Through Art Therapy

In today’s busy and stressful world people are seeking avenues for stress relief and natural ways for alleviating both mental and physical aliments. There are many therapy modules available and choosing the correct path for a person is as individual as the person. Art therapy is one such avenue that may necessitate further research to determine if this is the right mode for you or someone you know and is a good choice for alleviating stress and a variety of psychological and physical issues.
As long as art has been around it has been an effective tool for evoking feelings. Just focusing on a particular painting for example can change the way you think about something and have a stress reducing impact. If you actively engage in the creative artistic process you may discover things about yourself you previously were not aware of. For this reason of inner discovery, mental health practitioners will utilize art therapy with their clients.
If you are thinking about using art therapy as a means of stress reduction you may be worried that you don’t have time to fit one more thing into your already busy schedule. You may be happy to know that there are places that offer art therapy services online so you can work at your own pace and not disturb your work of family life. This method will still be effective in helping you with inner discovery and reducing stress. In fact, many physicians would like to have patients seek out art therapy treatments but it can be difficult to find a quality service; therefore, as with all services it is important you do your homework before signing up with a therapy provided.
It really makes sense that art is a great creative outlet for expressing feelings which may be hidden or even negative. You only need to look at the many artists that use their creative work as a mode of self expression. You don’t even have to be good at art to receive the benefits of this kind of therapy just think of it as a means of self expression and not in terms of a final product. Art, in its many forms, dance, painting, drawing, music, has been used for centuries to express feelings and meaning, and attempting to incorporate it into your stress reduction program is practical and pleasurable.
If you are looking for a way to reduce stress, without using drugs, consider finding out more about art therapy online.

About the Author:
James Davis is a staff writer at Ultimate Relaxation and is an occasional contributor to several other websites, including Wellness Digest.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Living With Someone With Depression

By Jennifer Carter
When someone you live with is suffering from depression, it's easy for the attention of both friends, family & the medical profession to be focused very much on them. Often little thought is given to the difficult role played by those close to them in living with and supporting someone who is depressed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
One thing that's very important to learn and remember is that you can only help them and give care and support if you, yourself, are in good shape, both mentally and physically. Here's three simple tips for helping to retain your sanity through difficult times of supporting a loved one:-
Spend Time With Friends
This is one time that you need to keep in touch with your friends. Even if you can't get out much to see them, try and make a conscious effort to pick up the phone and chat with both friends and family.
Ask For & Accept Help
Asking for help can be very difficult for some people. If you need help with the day to day tasks, you may be surprised to find that people are often very willing to help. Even asking someone to babysit so that you can have a precious evening out can help restore perspective and reduce the level of stress for just a short time. If you find that you are struggling to cope yourself, don't be afraid to seek medical advice.
Make Time For Yourself
Try and find time for some things you enjoy, whether that's walking, reading, sewing, finding a half an hour can give you a well deserved break away from your stressful supporting role.
If you're continually helping others, you'll soon find you have nothing left to give, so it's important to try and look after yourself, as well as you can. Whenever you find yourself making excuses not to, remember that you need to "be kind to yourself" in order to help anyone else.
Jen Carter has been writing for over five years. Her latest website on full spectrum lamps & lighting explores how light therapy boxes may be able to help sufferers of SAD (seasonal affective disorder).

Emotional Disorders - What Controls Your Conscious Point of Focus?

By Carl Harris
Scientists tell us the Prefrontal Cortex, a relatively small area of the brain just behind your forehead, performs your 'executive functions' - planning and controlling what you do with your brain and body. It carries out these plans by directing your 'Conscious Point of Focus' to open up to certain sources of stimulation.
Your Focus acts like a pen to the cellular map writing ability of your brain - whatever stimulation you deliberately open up to determines what gets written into your neural maps. The more you consciously and repeatedly focus on the same things the more intense and permanent those new maps become. You have the ability to write and re-write whatever you want to as long as you are willing to do the work involved in the writing - the work is hard.
How you use your tool of conscious focus can either lead to or heal serious emotional issues. Your Conscious Point of Focus is generally called 'what you think about'. Usually we assume thinking means working with strings of just words in our heads.
In our brains words appear to us as sounds we identify as 'verbal self-talk' - of course they are not actually sounds but neural energy creating an illusion we are hearing sounds. When we translate these stimulations into the written word we convert those sounds into pictures and these pictures act as representatives of both sounds and shared social meaning for others (have you ever looked at words as though they were pictures and also sounds with meanings attached to them?). Words are an example of our ability to 'associate' different types of stimuli in such a way we do not even realise they are actually different types of stimuli combined.
Words are quick-fire representations of other things, streams of these representations flow through our conscious and we shape these streams into logical thinking patterns - but we use those patterns to build:
  • pictures
  • shapes
  • sounds
  • smells (or at least, memories of smells).
We can also reverse this process.
When meanings are related to our value systems they are also attached to powerful emotional responses. We see new patterns in regards to these sources of stimulation in our minds and link these to previously learned patterns. The patterns are created because of differences in intensity, vibrational tone and duration.
We can deliberately choose to focus on any of these things using our Conscious Point of Focus, but we need to choose wisely because our focus is a limited resource. Although there are several options here in regard to stimulation type, there is a limit to the number of stimulations we can deliberately pay attention to at any one time.
Our conscious brains can only work with 4 to 11 bytes of electrical information per second. The greater the number of bytes of information we work with at any one time the harder it is to make sense or even remember what we did in our thinking. Once the incoming rate of information goes to 11 bytes per second you react with stress due to information overload.
When your conscious focus works at full throttle in this way your neo-cortex uses up a lot of glucose energy and gets tired more quickly in comparison to other parts of your brain. There is a limit to how long you can focus on those bytes. Biologically, thinking really is hard work.
Cut It Out
Your Prefrontal Cortex has the job of choosing what to focus your 4 to 11 bytes of conscious attention on whilst dealing with the fact your brain receives stimulation from your senses at roughly 2'000'000 (two million) bytes per second. In order for it to be able to resist this mass of distracting stimulation, most of which comes up from your body as a result of brain signals stimulating hormonal responses previously being sent downwards, your PFC controls a stimulation-resistance-system.
By the way, this organic resistance system is the same system you use to suppress and repress your emotional responses. The main stopping valve of this system is the root-like Reticular Formation in your brain stem. The Reticular Formation is designed to control the level of electrical/emotional energy flooding up into your brain at any one time.
From your brain stem the Reticular Formation spreads upwards and outwards into the net-like Ascending Reticular Activation System (also known as the ARAS - this system makes us consciously aware of the world around us). Different parts of your Reticular system have the ability to reduce and filter electrical stimulation in different parts of your brain. For example, there is a layer of reticular material surrounding the Thalamus, the main sensory signal router sitting between your upper conscious brain and lower emotional brain, acting like the insulation you find on household wiring.
Without this built-in resistance system you would be unable to focus on anything other than a mass of sensory information. In the case of emotional disorders, however, the resistance system has been used so effectively it has led to a state of internal overcharging and to trapping the emotional charge in the body.
An emotional charge trapped in the body keeps the body on high alert and this leads to an internal battle for control of your 'Conscious Point of Focus' between your Prefrontal Cortex and two other internal attention management system; your:
  • Orientation Response and your
  • Emotional Alert System
When these two mechanisms are activated they repeatedly snatch control of your Conscious Point of Focus away from your PFC and it in turn repeatedly snatches control back through the process of deliberate 'distraction'. This produces a constant state of physical tension in the body and establishes a vicious war between how your PFC wants you to feel and how your body is trying to communicate to it what it actually feels.
When a person does not suffer with an emotional disorder their mental focus naturally comes to rest on whatever their senses are resting on at the time. There is no internal battle for control and no sense of tension.
Your Orientation Response and Your Emotional Alert System - Your Emergency Situation Managers
Your PFC is concerned with long-term strategic self-management. It works with such things as changing your self image; deciding what kinds of environment you would like to eventually live in; planning the route it will take to get there and putting in place the motivations you will need to keep yourself energised along the journey.
Your Orientation Response and your Emotional Alert System, in contrast, are emergency problem solvers designed to work with unexpected life events. One is an automatic process designed to search for and identify potential threats while the other is designed to galvanise the body into urgent life-saving action by responding to threats with the most powerful source of energy you have.
Is that a Spider? No, it is a Bit of Fluff
Our Orientation Response is the mechanism that drags our attention away suddenly from what we are currently doing to pay attention to something new we have just become vaguely aware of entering our environment.
Out of the corner of your eye you spot a small fuzzy blob on the floor and you look to see if it is a spider. It is a bit of fluff. You go to run a bath and spot something black against the white enamel. You cannot resist looking. It is an apple seed. How did that get in there? Who has been eating apples in the bath?
Your Orientation Response is partially pre-programmed by your perceptual bias. Your perceptual bias is your unconscious list of things you want to avoid and is decided on previous experience. So when you go into the bathroom you are now pre-programmed to check the bath for things that should not be there.
When you leave the bathroom you are now pre-programmed to find out how the apple seed got there.
The response is also designed to pay attention to the new, the fast moving, the tiny, the potentially itchy, the unknown; the large; that scraping sound you hear that sounds like it is in your house. The only way to satisfy this response is to consciously pay attention to the source of concern until you have fully looked at it, identified it as safe and then let it go. This completes the release cycle for this part of our conscious focus mechanism and you can then return to what you wanted to focus on earlier.
Until you pay attention to an unknown and unexplored stimulus for long enough, and in enough depth, to the point your Unconscious attention systems believe it to be safe, they will keep grabbing the attention of your conscious focus.
Admit it - you looked for that bit of fluff, I know you did.
If you have an obsession and you do not understand how obsessions work, and you lack confidence in working with such things to the point you cannot just put it to one side without it grabbing at your conscious focus against your will, it is the orientation mechanism that keeps causing this to happen. The other reason is because your body is on High Emotional Alert.
Your Emotional Alert System
A real-life event or an imagined event (imagined so effectively your Unconscious emotional system thinks it is real) triggers an emotional response. The emotional response travels up through the body towards the brain to meet up with the issue identified by the brain in order that your overall body and brain together take appropriate external action to deal with the alleged problem.
Trouble is when the emotional response reaches the brain your brain says 'not yet' and your PFC pushes the energetic response back down into your body. So the response stays in place, the body remains energised, waiting for the 'go' command from the brain. And it waits, but not for long. It reminds the brain by coming up through the body again, making the attempt to link up with the issue in the brain and again the brain says 'not yet'.
Your body remains in a state of continued emotional pre-release and the emotional response, now held in place for a prolonged period of time, starts to desperately seek release through a process known as projection and keeps pestering the brain to pay attention to it by any means available. Now it comes up for any stimulus that even slightly resembles the original issue. By now, unfortunately, the brain has forgotten what the original issue was and refuses to acknowledge the response needs to release at all.
'What, you again?'.
Your PFC refuses to allow the emotional response to leave the body declaring 'something is wrong with my emotional system' when the response keeps showing up..
Your Orientation Response is continually re-triggered by this because you have no idea what is causing the repeating imagery and your brain keeps being constantly re-stimulated by the emotional charge attempting to leave the body through the normal release process.
Want to Switch the Emotional Alert Driving Your Obsession Off?
In order to removal an obsession or any other emotional problem you have to switch off the emotional alert driving it. There is nothing you can do about your Orientation Response - but once it has taken a good look at your obsession and at the emotional response attached to it, and realises what is there is just 'fluff', it will stop demanding your Conscious Point of Focus be directed to it.
Your PFC is fighting the reality of how your emotional system works by creating belief systems that cause your lower brain parts to join in with resisting release. In order to stop the battle going on inside it must change its approach and agree to taking your Conscious Point of Focus directly into the emotional world it has spent so long fighting.
By systematically surrendering to the demands of its rival competitors for control of your conscious attention it will gradually release the emotional response behind the high alert emotional state and find itself returning to its rightful place as natural, relaxed controller of your conscious focus.
Found this article interesting? Please feel free to come leave a comment or have a chat at

Friday, May 7, 2010

What Does It Take To Feel Truly Alive

What is stopping you from enthusiastically living your life?

Here you are in the middle of this massive adventure called life, with the possibility of having tremendous success and enjoying wealth, health, wonderful relationships, and the fulfillment of your talents, yet somehow you seem to have run out of joy.

Looking back, it seems as if you can't really think of ever having lived as if it were an adventure. There may have been pockets of spontaneous outbursts and creative expression, but they seem few and far between. If you're like most people, much of your life has been spent in stress, strain, and struggle.

The bad news is that with each passing day, you're running out of time.

The only way you're going to ever feel enthusiastic about your life and start feeling the fullness of life itself is by taking back your power.

You have to stop your world and take a look at it.

Since your thoughts create your life, a good place to start would be by examining your thoughts. Have you been busy describing your life rather than deliberately creating it? Most people spend much of their time describing all their experiences as if they were trying to solve a problem. This is a huge psychic drain. Only when you are creating, rather than rehashing, can you excite your mind to produce better outcomes.

How many times have you said, "Yes, I can do it!" How many times have you said, "Yes, this is what I will be, do, and have." How many times have you said, "Yes, I will learn what I need to learn to master this particular challenge."

If you have said this frequently, then your life has an enviable momentum to it and others watch you in amazement. But if you have not followed an affirmative way of living in the world, you have been steadily losing your power to be, do, and have what you want.

Your thoughts create your life and if you are not thinking affirmative thoughts, chances are that you are busy giving away your power to other people, circumstances, or your own past mishaps. With this self-generating psychic energy drain, is it really a mystery that you are low on life-force and feel that life is sometimes to much to deal with?

Do you realize that there is a massive conspiracy to undermine your personal power? Since infancy you have been told that you are not good enough. Every cultural institution wants you to conform to their ideas of what you should be, do, and have. You can see that economic, religious, political, and even police and military forces have worked hard to make you feel less than capable.

Yet, this is a lie. And by buying into this lie, you have given away your power.

The truth is that you are the creator of your own reality, and by affirming what you want to be, do, and have, these things start showing up for you.

People do not affirm their reality because they are reacting to what is before them, which is usually some form of coercion to perform according to somebody else's idea of what is good for them.

Fortunately for human evolution, there are those who chose to affirm their own reality over the collective viewpoint. Thus, artists and scientists, thinkers and philosophers push the envelope, disagree with the collective will, and create new realities.

Albert Einstein did not agree with Newtonian physics and envisioned a whole new view of the universe. Mahatma Gandhi did not agree with the imperial vision of colonialism and inspired a free nation. Martin Luther King did not believe in the historical policy of racism and created more dignity in the world.

When the voice and the vision on the inside is greater than the opinions and influences on the outside, you will understand what it means to take back your power, and when you do, instead of feeling oppressed, you will feel the exhilaration of truly expressing yourself and creating your dreams.

Life really is far too short to keep denying your own greatness. It is vision and daring that makes it worth living. Ironically, those who decide to take back their power find doors where they expected to encounter walls.
Source: Free Articles
About the Author:
Saleem Rana would love to share his inspiring ideas with you. Hunting everywhere for a life worth living? Discover the life of your dreams. His book, Never Ever Give Up is offered at no cost to stimulate your success.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

How to Improve Social Skills

By Henrik Blunck
Social skills are something we learn by seeing how others do this. There is one type of social skills for social networks such as Facebook and Twitter, but there are also other skills to be developed when you're hosting a dinner for friends or heading over to your first job interview. Let's take some of these skills grouped in each their category, and let's follow up at the end of this article
  • Social skills on the internet
  • Social skills when hosting a dinner
  • Social skills when going to a job interview
Social skills on the internet
Social skills on the internet involve sharing information with others. When you have specific knowledge in a field of interest you can build trust by sharing what you know with others in forums and in mailing lists. Even when someone writes an update on Facebook about being discouraged about bad weather or a broken relationship, you can offer your sympathy for their situation.
When you share little bits of yourself with others, you will begin to build trust - a highly useful thing which you could never buy anywhere. All the good will you're building by being a sociable person is what will come back as extra orders because people will - sometimes unconsciously - think of you because you have shown good talents in a related situation.
Social skills when hosting a dinner
When hosting a dinner, having extra wine - and mineral water for those who need to drive - should be part of good preparation. Make sure you have more than enough food, and be sure everything is handy and ready so you can share yourself with your friends during social events. There are obviously things that need to be done during the last minute, but preparation shows respect towards your guests, and show them you enjoy their company.
Close your laptop, and concentrate on the people around you. E-mails could stay on the server an hour longer without you losing anything. Most of us know there are different time zones anyway, and if they are too impatient to wait for you to have time to give them a reply, you need to educate your online contacts. If they complain they can look elsewhere for advice. That will establish yourself as a person that can prioritize between different assignments.
Social skills when going to a job interview
When you're entering a company for the first time, holding the door for that busy person that needs to exit the door may be exactly the test to see what type of person you are. Cellphones have made this possible, and your future boss will be far more receptive when he receives the SMS saying: "It is a courteous guy entering for job interview. He held the door and smiled."
At least you can start at a far better level than the person who overlooks these little, yet so very important, details.
In Conclusion
Be courteous in all your dealings. When you start off your day by being motivated to make at least one person happy every day, you're bound to be the happiest person yourself. Being sociable develops your attraction towards friends and colleagues, and why not give others a chance to like you?
Thanks for reading this article. Hope you enjoyed the information.
I administer numerous blogs, and would like to draw your attention towards the overview over at
My Twitter profile can be found right here:
I enjoy sharing my life through social networks. "Mingling gives new ideas, and I like that. Even disagreements can teach us something new when we are willing to listen and learn from one another."

How to Take a Pre-Employment Personality Test

By KA Birmingham
The good news is, you have an interview...
The bad new is, you have to take a pre-employment personality test.
What's the purpose of a pre-employment personality test? Do you want the real truth, or do you want me to make you feel better?
The real truth is that the purpose of the personality test is to absolve the Human Resource departments of various hiring agencies of making a mistake in hiring someone. Yes, you heard me right. Many HR departments have gone to the issuance of the various forms of these tests in lieu of a human being personally evaluating whether or not you would be a good employee for their company.
At one time, a personal interview was all it took to let a company know if you would be a good fit or not. Along comes the personality test. "I'll tell you if they're good or not."
An applicant can come in and appear to have the perfect personality, friendly,gregarious, and the hiring manager thinks, "I want this person on my team!" Unfortunately, a personality test is required prior to the official hiring. Do you know how many companies are missing out on hiring perfectly acceptable candidates? Far too many.
The truth is that because of our economic crunch, HR departments have been slashed. Most companies rely on pre-employment personality tests to give a good indicator of how well a potential employee will do in your company. Unfortunately, these tests have very little to do with how well an individual will do in any given job.
So, how do you get around these new "facts of life"?
You learn how to take a pre-employment personality test.
Strongly Agree or Strongly Disagree
First, you never, EVER answer "somewhat agree, mildly agree, somewhat disagree" always answer either "strongly agree" or "strongly disagree. You need to see these types of questions as True or False. Nothing else! Seriously...any other answer is simply designed to put you in the wrong. And if you answer anything BUT Strongly Agree or Strongly Disagree, the answer is WRONG!
Oh wait! There are no Right or Wrong answers...they said! They lied! If you don't answer the question correctly, you're wrong, and you won't get hired.
It's a total crock when they assure you that there are no right or wrong answers. There sure are!!!
True False
These are easier...sometimes. If there are words like:
"try", or "yell" or "shout" or "attempt" or "hope" can be sure that these answers are wrong. You are either right or wrong. If you have to try, or shout, or yell, or attempts, or hope, you WILL NOT GET THE JOB!
Do I Like Crowds and People?
You betcha!
The personality tests want to know if you like, even thrive on chaos, being with a lot of people, the answer is yes, Yes, YES!!! They want to know that you LOVE being with people. They want you to want to be able to do multiple things, while standing on your head, while handling a lot of tasks and people ALL at the same time! Any question that is asking if you like any of these things, the answer is YES!
Honesty Above All, Right?
It would be nice to believe this, but not so. You want the job? You have to learn to take the test. If possible take the test alone, and ask the questions out loud. That will help you to determine what the right answer is. The idea is to present yourself as honestly as possible, but the real truth is that you want...even NEED to get the job. In order to do that, you need to learn to take the test.
Your next personality test, try my suggestions. They'll at least get you the interview. I've worked with a number of people who were PERFECTLY qualified for the position, but failed the test because they answered it HONESTLY! How sad. A personal interview would have vetted them as perfect for the job, but the computer test, designed to filter out the dregs of the applicants, only serves to really level the playing field of the perfect applicants vs. the OMG NO WAY applicants.
KA Birmingham, specialist in coaching people in how to sell themselves.

Loneliness and Depression - Breaking a Devastating Cycle

By Kriti Arora
If loneliness and depression are engulfing your life and threatening to make you redundant, you need to do something about it. These are emotions a lot of people go through but which can be cured only if something is done about them. This article provides tips as to how you can beat loneliness and depression and break this devastating cycle.
  • It is important for you to believe, to believe in god or a greater being. That is the first step to cure loneliness. When you are overcome with feelings that no one cares about you or loves you, believe that god does surely. Spend time praying to him, if not with folded hands, then at least by having a conversation with him.
  • Believe in yourself and the power within you. The reason why most people are lonely is not that they have few friends, but because they don't know their own worth.
  • All your loneliness and depression is going to go away if you make sure that you are surrounded by people who love you. Make sure you spend at least some time everyday with friends and family and make that time a happy one. Seek out new friends as well.
  • One of the most effective ways of treating loneliness and depression is by understanding that there are people in this world who are a lot less fortunate than you are and by helping them. Doing volunteer work at a charity organization, your local hospital or orphanage will give you a sense of being good and help you deal with your own demons.
  • Behave, act and dress in a way that shows you are important. Start respecting yourself and you will not only be getting rid of your loneliness and depression soon, you will also be a happier person.
Do you want to know - How to Treat Depression Naturally? I have just completed my brand new guide. "101 Ways to Beat Depression".
Read it for free here: Beat Depression Naturally

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

How Stress Affects Your Immune System

Have you ever noticed that you tend to get sick more often when you're stressed out? Scientists have noticed this connection for a long time, but until recently they couldn't explain it. While a big project at work or the loss of a loved one isn't going to give you the flu, it can decrease the functioning of your immune system and make you more susceptible to the flu and other infections.

It may surprise you, but short term stress actually boosts the immune system. Increased immune functioning is associated with the "fight or flight" response related to short term stress you know will end. This is because our body is still trying to adapt to beat the stressor instead of just letting the stress bear down. The problem with this is that a majority of our stress is continual over a long period of time.

Long term stress is what actually decreases our immune functioning. The worst kind of stress is not only long term, but stress we think we can't control or see an end to. For example, while meeting a deadline at work may cause a decrease in our immune functioning; it's probably not as bad as stress caused by a debilitating accident. When we think the stressor is beyond our control and may never stop, our body feels it can't cope with the stress and it begins to take its toll. This kind of stress causes a drop in almost all immune functioning.

For regular, long term stressors, the decrease in immune functioning becomes greater with time. This means even if you feel you are in a position of control, long term stress such as a high power job, can build up and gradually decrease your disease fighting abilities.

Another important factor to consider when looking at the immune system and stress is that the decrease in immune system functioning is greater for people who are elderly or already sick. This is likely why older people who are severely injured or have recently lost a loved one are much more likely to die within a year than those who haven't had these circumstances.

You may think, "Well, I'll drop my stress level and I'll be fine". However, studies have show that traumatic events can stick with us and affect our immune system long after the stressor is gone. If a person was in an accident, was attacked, or experienced a traumatic loss, they can show decreased immunities years later. The best way to increase immunities in this case is to undergo treatment for the trauma.

In addition to causing a decrease in immune system functioning, stress can also make you more susceptible to other long term diseases, such as cardiovascular disease. If you want to maintain a healthy lifestyle you should include activities and a proper diet that promote a less stressful lifestyle.

Ideas For Controlling Stress

In the past, the need for research has not been something that was needed. Now that stress has been shown to help bring about diseases, it is more important. These studies have brought some ideas and programs that will help to reduce stress.

What is the big deal about stress and controlling it? Studies show that stress is one of the major causes of illnesses and diseases. It is not the main reason for the disease or illness but it gives you a feeling of being sick and this in turn gives you a more susceptible attitude for being sick.

Some of the ideas and programs for controlling stress do not help. There are many that do give someone who is dealing with stress some relief.

Listed below are some of the more effective ways to control. You may find that some of them are common to you.

Admitting You Have Emotions

When the nervous system reacts it is called stress. Anyone who has done investigations into stress will find that you have the desire to run away from it or to stay and fight it. The stress by itself is not the danger, it is the energy that is not eliminated from the body. This energy will wear the body down after a long period of time if not gotten rid of. The best thing for you to do is to start by showing emotion. If you see something funny, laugh out loud. This will get rid of some of that energy. If you are mad, then allow yourself to be mad. It is not healthy to hold it inside.

Starting some sort of exercise routine will help to send the energy into the right places. If you are mad, the gym may be a good place for you to go and take it out on a punching bag. The body will be ready to fight when you are mad, boxing is great for relieving this stress.

Take Over The Madness

It is important for you to be able to allow your emotions to come out. The bad emotions like being mad should be controlled. A good attitude and patience will help you gain control and stop the stress or at least reduce it. If you are able to take a hold on your anger, the need to fight or to run will not occur.

Taking Control Of Your Time Reduces Stress

One of the oldest ways to reduce your stress level is to take control of your time. This is a part of stress that is known as business stress. This type of stress is caused by the amount of time we are losing to something else. When you take control of your time and begin to be the boss of it, the stress will be lowered.

Be Happy With Your Life

When you are feeling happy, this will be the best for you. Being happy is all in your mind. You need to start thinking in this way and you will become happier. What is it that will bring about your happiness at this moment? If you mind is telling you that you would like to watch a movie then make arrangements to watch the movie. Think positive and bring along a friend to enjoy it with you.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Can Stress Lead to Diabetes?

Stress is an enemy of your body. And if you are diabetic, then you better stay away from stress. Stress adversely affects various parts of your body. It may lead to coronary heart disease, even stroke, and worsen the metabolic problems in your body. It really is dangerous!

Study On Stress

A study was conducted on about 10,000 men and women aged 35-55 years. The participants were government workers. The aim was to find out a connection between stress due to work and metabolic problems. Before the test, the participants were tested for metabolic problems.


The results were obvious: the more a person was stressed out due to work, the more he or she was at a risk of developing metabolic problems, including diabetes. There is a direct relationship between low blood sugar and stress: PEOPLE WHO SUFFERED FROM CHRONIC STRESS HAD A DOUBLE RISK OF DEVELOPING DIABETES.

Handling Stress At Work

If you can handle stress at work, you can lower the risk of developing diabetes to a great deal. Unfortunately, there are people who carry their work at home. They work at leisure time. They think about work when they should be thinking about having fun. You may not realize but you are harming your body and exposing yourself to the risk of diabetes.

Here are some tips to help you relieve your stress at work:

  • Take short breaks between work. Move around the office, if possible, every one or two hours. If not, then simply stretch your limbs while sitting at your desk.

  • Carry out stretching as well as relaxation exercises at your desk.

  • Prefer water to coffee or soda.

  • As far as possible, avoid taking work at home.

  • Take a few days off from work

  • Avoid talking about work at social gatherings

  • Carry out deep breathing and relaxation exercises to get relief from stress

It has been found that people under stress become careless about themselves, indulge in drinking excess amount of alcohol, and carry out less exercise. Stress hormones also have an effect on blood glucose levels. If you are mental stressed, you blood glucose levels are bound to shoot up. The only way is to control your stress reaction.

Positive Attitude Works Wonders

A positive attitude fights off stress effectively. Indulge in something constructive that makes you happy and relaxes you. It brings down your blood sugar levels. Develop a hobby, take a stroll outside, and substitute a negative thought with some pleasant memory or poem, or quote, or Bible verse. Use breathing exercises to reduce your tension, revive body cells with oxygen, and rejuvenate your energy.

If your stress levels go on rising at the workplace, it is wise to talk to your boss and find out a solution. If nothing works out and you are extremely stressed at work, it is time to look for another job.

Take control of your life.

Alzheimer’s and Stress – is There a Link?

Over the past few years, doctors have been finding increasing evidence linking Alzheimer’s and stress. While age is still considered to be the primary risk factor for developing Alzheimer’s, several important studies have identified stress as another main cause to be aware of.

Studies Linking Alzheimer’s and Stress

A recent study conducted at UC Irvine evaluated the effects of stress on the brains of mice. Researchers subjected mice to continuous stress similar to that experienced by humans in their daily lives.

The increased stress caused these mice to produce higher levels of the proteins beta-amyloid and tau in their brains. These proteins make up the plaques and tangles found in the brains of Alzheimer’s patients.

This phenomenon creates a dangerous cycle. High levels of beta-amyloid and tau in the brain cause an increase in the production of stress hormones, which in turn leads to the production of more beta-amyloid and tau in the brain. This sequence drastically speeds up the progression of Alzheimer’s disease.

This study has many implications for Alzheimer’s patients. Most importantly, doctors need to be careful when prescribing drugs to elderly people. Many commonly prescribed drugs for the elderly contain glucocorticoids, which produce similar effects to stress hormones. As a result, these drugs could potentially contribute to the development of Alzheimer’s disease.

Another study involving humans has backed up the discoveries made at UC Irvine. A long-term study found that people who were more prone to stress were twice as likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease as people with lower stress levels. Furthermore, these people were ten times as likely to exhibit deteriorated memory.

These studies strongly indicate that the regions of the brain responsible for regulating stress are also our brain’s memory centers. This discovery can be very helpful to doctors as they work towards finding a cure for Alzheimer’s disease.

Stress Management and Alzheimer’s Prevention

Based on the findings of these studies, it has become clear that stress management is an important component to Alzheimer’s prevention.

Dharma Singh Khalsa, M.D., President and Medical Director of the non-profit Alzheimer’s Research and Prevention Foundation, has been studying Alzheimer’s disease since the early 1990’s. He has determined that the best method of prevention is to adopt healthy lifestyle practices at an early age.

Dr. Dharma and the ARPF promote stress management as an important tool for preventing Alzheimer’s. They also recommend other lifestyle practices, such as proper diet, physical exercise, and mental exercise. Additionally, using meditation, hypnosis, deep breathing, massage, or yoga can help reduce stress in your life.

The link between Alzheimer’s and stress is becoming clearer by the day. The sooner you take steps to lower the stress in your life, the more likely you are to prevent the development of Alzheimer’s down the road.

Assess Your Stress

Stress - we all feel it on a daily basis, in varying degrees. Some days are much worse than others, while other days, you might even go so far as to say you're relaxed. But in truth, stress is the norm more than we'd like it to be. And while we might never be completely stress free, we certainly don't need to be stressed out every day. With Feng Shui, you can begin to lighten the load of stress in your life - all by changing the flow of energy in your life. This way, you can be cool and calm, no matter how much pressure you might have in your life.

You Can Stop the Stress Now

What's great about Feng Shui is that you don't have to simply change a few things in your environment and then wait for weeks to see the results. You can make simple changes right now and see results right now.

First of all, you want to assess just how stressed you are in your life. Take a moment to look around the space where you're feeling the most stressed. If it's your office, look at your desk and around the room. Where are the areas that are cluttered and messy? Make a note of these spaces and use a Feng Shui bagua to see just where these messes correlate to energy centers. For example, if you notice that the back left hand corner of your office (from the door) is messy, you will find out that you are feeling the most stress about money matters in relation to your job. And thus, you might want to focus on changing that area as well as your outlook in that part of your life.

In addition, you don't just want to diagnose the clutter, you should be getting rid of it. When you simply leave your physical areas in disorder, you are leaving your mental state in disorder as well. Cleaning up the clutter - and keeping it away - is the best way, hands down, to help you maintain a cool demeanor, no matter the situation.

You will also want to remove any bright colors from your space that might be interfering with your stress levels. Bright reds and oranges are great for energy, but when they're used in excess, they can also make you feel frazzled. Try to stick with neutral colors and blues to help soothe your anxiety levels. You will also want to add some sort of water element to the space that stresses you out as this will help to calm you even more - a fountain, a picture of water, etc.

Fending Off Stress Attacks

Many of us are constantly under stress because of the type of job we hold. So, in order to use Feng Shui in our lives, we need to make permanent changes to allow for positive energy to flow into our lives at every moment of the day.

Start by making sure your doorways are always free of obstacles and clutter. When you have messes in your doorway areas, you are hindering the flow of healthy energy into your space. In addition, make sure your door can move easily.

Take the time to surround yourself with things and images you love. This will help to bring a smile to your face, no matter what is happening in your world. Think about adding pictures of your family and friends as well as decorative elements that make you feel happy. For some, this might mean adding spiritual sculptures, while others might want to add flowers. Decide what makes you feel calm and happy - and then add it to your life.

Plants are also a great way to reduce the flow of stress in your life. Not only do they provide you with cleaner air naturally, but they also help to transmute the negative energy of your life into something that's more positive. Play soothing music during the day or CDs with nature sounds so as to help to energize your space with calming tones, but also not so soothing that they lull you to sleep.

While you may never be able to stop stress from being in your life, Feng Shui is always there to soften the blow of another deadline or another crisis you need to handle. Take a breath, make changes, and you'll be a happier person as a result.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Stress, More or Less? You Can Choose What to Do

Stress is something that affects each person in a different way. Lots of people often think that stress is something that no one can do anything about. In fact, lots of people often succumb to stress because they believe that they can't change it. However, that is not the case. It is up to you to figure out how stress is going to affect you.

When you are dealing with stress, you are going to be the one who is charge of how it affects you. Whether you are going to have lots of stress, or little stress, you need to be sure that you understand what is going on with it, so that you can decide how much you are going to let it affect you.

The first thing that you need to do when you start to be able to decide how stress is going to affect you is realize that the more you let stress effect you, the more that it will. This sounds like something simple, but stress is an odd thing. It is a physical and mental reaction to certain situations, and it is a reaction that your body and mind might make whether you want to or not. The key to your reactions is going to be your mental state, and the ability to control these stress symptoms.

The first thing that you need to do when you are learning how to cope with stress is learn how to relax. Learning how to relax is something that most people need to be able to do, because it allows them to deal with stress in a way that they never knew or understood before. Relaxing is actually one of the best keys to being able to control stress. There are several types of relaxation exercises that you should be doing, and it is up to you whether or not you use them. However, if you are able to use them, you will be able to control your stress.

There are two types of relaxation that you can do in order to control your stress, and have less of it. The first should be a very short relaxation technique that you can do in order to calm yourself down as you start to feel stressed out. The second is a longer relaxation technique that you should be doing in the evenings or every few days, in order to keep yourself less stressed.

The next thing that you want to do is remember that there are several other things that you can do to make sure that you have less stress. First of all, you should try to be as organized as possible. Being organized is a way that you can make sure you have less stress. If you aren't organized, you might find that you have more stress because lack of organization leads to more situations in your life that are stressful. Also, if you have too much to you will find that you have more stress, so if you can cut back on some of the things that you are doing, you will find that you experience less stress in your life.

Looking for Low Stress Jobs?

Copyright (c) 2008 Konstantin Koss

Stress in the workplace has gained very much unpleasant popularity among people around the world. Stress has even earned the title of being "The 20th Century Disease" as coined by the United Nations in 1992 and referred to as a "World Wide Epidemic" by the World Health Organization (WHO).

The reason for its increasing popularity is the increasing number of stress-related health problems such as irritation, depression, headaches, migraines and even life-threatening chronic diseases like heart attacks. More and more people are suffering from these stress-related health problems, sometimes without even realizing that they are caused by the stress they get from work or from personal problems around the house.

Some people find ways to de-stress by going to the gym and working out; some go dancing or clubbing every Friday after a week of long hard work; some attend yoga classes; some still try to switch to less stressful jobs. While stress has become synonymous with jobs and people think that there is no job that does not entail stress, there are still jobs out there that cause low or no stress at all if you are really very good at it. To give you an idea here's a list of low stress jobs and why are they considered to be such.

-Dog Walker

I guess the number one low stress job out there is the dog walker. In every busy city, there are a lot of dog owners that do not have time to spend enough time with their dogs and give the necessary walking exercise once in a while. So more and more dog owners hire dog walkers to give their dogs the time that they can not give.

This job is low stress because all you have to do is walk dogs at the park. How hard could walking and playing with dogs be? In fact, it could even help you de-stress from your own cares at home. Scientific studies prove that taking care of pets, or even just caressing the furry friends, relax and soothe the tired mind.

-Pastry Chef

Second in my list of low stress jobs is being a pastry chef. Baking and designing pastries is indeed an art. Creating artwork also has a soothing effect to the one working on it. Although pastry making entails a lot of hard work and sometimes even odd working hours, it brings satisfaction and a sense of fulfillment for the chefs. That is if you are artistic and creative and you love the arts.

If you love what you are doing, there is very little room for frustration and irritation, hence less stress. Besides, who could get stressed in a workplace smelling of sugar, butter and cinnamon?

-Video clerk

Another top low stress and even fun job is the video clerk, where you can watch movies while doing your job. You also get to talk and give customers piece of advice or suggestions about which movies are good and which are not. In this business, customers turn to you as an expert of movies hence employers allow their staffs to watch movies while working. It would ensure customer loyalty if the video clerk serving them knows a lot about movies and get to interact with them meaningfully.

What more, since store hours do not begin until 10 am, you can extend sleep without having to worry about beating the morning rush as most people are already in their workplaces at this time. You get to hang around cool people discussing movies and music.

-Massage or Physical Therapist

Since this job is centered on making people relaxed and calm, the therapist is trained well on the art of relaxation. As an expert therapist, you can apply the exercises you advise to other people to yourself as well. Of course, you have to practice what you teach.

Besides how can giving back rubs to patients or clients be stressing? Sure, giving a really good massage can strain your muscles, but did you notice that you usually feel more relaxed after a workout? The same principle applies here, you just have to learn how to keep your back straight during the massage.

Also, these sessions are usually done in a relaxing room where the lights are dim and with soothing and relaxing background music.

These are but a few of the many low stress jobs out there. You just have to be not too picky. After all, high-profile careers are usually the ones that are most stressful.

Stress and Alcohol

'She drove me to drink' used to be a popular phrase. Its essential meaning is that stress induces people to consume alcohol. While it's true that stress can be an incentive to drink, it's equally true that heavy alcohol consumption causes stress.
Moderate alcohol intake, to be sure, can have beneficial effects. Research suggests that small amounts can even improve mental functioning and increase performance in problem solving while stressed. But, there are also studies that demonstrate that large quantities, particularly when consumed for long periods, actually worsens stress.
Large alcohol consumption stimulates the hypothalamus, pituitary and adrenal glands. One result is an increase in the amount of cortisol produced within the body. Another is an increase in adrenaline. Both those, while they don't alone cause stress, play a large role in the symptoms.
Extreme stress makes it more difficult to concentrate. One of the obvious effects of high alcohol intake is to produce that exact effect. Thus, heavy drinkers get a double whammy just at the moment they need mental clarity most.
Other studies suggest that chronic drinkers have symptoms similar to those seen in children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Children of those drinkers, this research concludes, have a higher incidence of actual ADHD.
So, it may also be true that as much as the stress of parenting may lead to drinking, adult drinking may encourage the circumstances that entice the parent to drink. It may be a factor in producing children's symptoms that lead to adult stress.
Exercise is known to help relieve the symptoms of stress. Unfortunately, one of the additional results of excessive alcohol consumption is decreased exercise. Few inebriated people want to go a few rounds on the weight machine.
Similarly, high alcohol intake suppresses appetite. Thus, at the same time alcoholic drinks pour in the calories, they decrease the incentive to maintain a healthy diet. Once again the drinker experiences a doubly negative reinforcing effect.
Those who drink excessively to escape stress motivated by money concerns find it more difficult to cope with the problem that caused the stress in the first place. Even simple tasks like balancing a checkbook are clearly more difficult when drunk. But beyond such minor details, the cognitive functions needed to develop long term strategies are impaired. Drinkers literally can't think their way out of the problems causing the stress.
In all these cases there is a vicious cycle established. Stress encourages heavy drinking, which makes it more difficult to deal with the internal and external factors that led to stress in the first place. Though the specific numbers will vary from person to person, when the average individual drinks more than the equivalent of two or three shots of whiskey per day, the results are inevitably bad.
The key to breaking this vicious cycle is to seek alternative methods for dealing with stress. Both the symptoms and the underlying motivators are subject to change in almost all cases. Proper exercise and diet is a good beginning. A realistic attitude about life's inherent challenges can go a long way, as well. But, as with any psychological problem, admitting it exists is the first necessary step.

Releasing Stress in Small Ways

The one thing that virtually all people have in common is the stress of living in this modern age. So much has changed in the last 25 years. Yet all generations had to grow up and take on the responsibilities of raising a family, making a living and figuring out their place in this complicated world.

Stress comes from several sources. Obviously, the first place most people think is work. We think of work as a source of stress because it is a place where making a living is important to our well-being. There are daily demands, deadlines and schedules to be met. In addition, most of us have to deal with at least one difficult person during our workdays, which only compound the stress.

Stress doesn't end when we walk out of our workplace. Traffic itself can be stressful. Then the joys of raising children and marriage can also bring some trials with them as well. It is common to come home from a difficult day only to face problems at home. The stress and anxiety just keep mounting up.

There is good stress that adds value to our lives. This type of stress motivates us to move forward in a direction that we want to create for ourselves. Our intention is one of self-care, even if it is challenging in the beginning.

When we speak of stress, we usually mean the difficult issues. Too much stress can lead to serious medical and mental problems if we don't develop some coping techniques to deal with it.

Some good small, but effective coping mechanisms that you may find helpful to defray the stress in your life include:

Get away from it.

To put the cares of the world in perspective, we have to get away from them for awhile. If nothing else, just soaking in a hot bathtub with a good magazine and some happy music can wash away the cares of the world and let them swirl down the drain with the bubbles. Look for chances to relax and put those worries aside for a little bit. It will help you calm your mind, rest your system and be ready to deal with those issues without so much anxiety, which doesn't help you at all.

Collaborate with your family.

Your family doesn't want to see you stressed out. They don't always understand how much they add to your problems when they throw the problems of the day at you as soon as you walk through the door. Remember that they are stressed with school or issues of work and relationships too. So partner together to create a little time to just be a family and 'love away' that tension together. Everybody will be better for it.

Take time for health.

It's strange but our diet and rest are the things we need the most to cope with stress and yet those are the areas of life that are most damaged if we let stress wear us down. So go back to basics and make sure you get good meals, good rest and take care of yourself. It will make you a better worker and stronger for your family as well.

Stress can be a serious concern to your well-being. You are responsible for taking care of one else. If you take action to keep stress from dominating your life, you are doing something good for yourself, which will only help you deal with problems and solve them with creativity and intelligence.