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Sunday, July 28, 2013

Start by Not Judging Yourself

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Photo: meditatingmonkeys.com
 
Stop Judging Yourself

I think weaknesses are a necessity to prevent you from wasting your life's purpose. As an example, there are many things that we may be interested in, but it does not necessarily mean we should make a living with them. We know what we should and should not be concentrating on by knowing our weaknesses.
Insecurity prevents you from making informed decisions and often results in seeking the opinions of others prior to doing anything. Getting help may be a catalyst to your success; however, it is dangerous to your self-image to seek advice from unhappy people because they will provide negative and self-defeating guidance. Choose your peers wisely.

Consider the experiences of a person when seeking their advice. If they say something that is negative or discouraging, remember it is merely an opinion; furthermore, often said out of jealousy or a result of ill-temperament due to a poor self-image.
Being Critical is a Learnt Behaviour

We learn to judge ourselves as children by adopting the opinions of others. As children, our self-image is more susceptible to being infected by the negativity of others. Society demands we respect our elders by seeking their approval, even if they are wrong.
Unfortunately, many parent and caregivers control children through guilt, emotional outburst, and punishment. It is against Creation's way to tell a child he is fat, ugly, dense, stupid, pathetic, empty-headed, lost, meaningless, lazy, hopeless, a waste of energy, a waste of space, and all other degrading statements my readers have told me.

Unless encouraged otherwise, the need for approval and reassurance grows with us into adulthood, resulting in self-defeating thoughts and behaviors.
How do you deal with the opinions of others?
Perhaps you are carrying guilt from your childhood and reliving what someone has said to you. If you are, I would like you to know that no matter what has been said to you, the words were a direct result of how the other person felt about him or herself and had little to do with you. Do not allow the opinions of others stop you from achieving your destiny.

I changed my attitude about seeking approval when I realized I thought more about what was said than what they did. In fact, a person who criticizes does not usually consider the feelings of the person they judge. If they did, they would not NEED to project their insecurities onto another.
You have to ask yourself whether it is more beneficial to concentrate on their negativity than on your dreams.
The universe has given you an important role in life to fulfill if you choose to ignore the naysayers in your life. If you decide to adopt the negativity and criticism of others, than you are placing judgment upon yourself.
Their words are over the moment they are spoken, and it is your understanding of what they said that creates the truth within your mind.

Do not let anyone's opinions steal your dreams.
Remember, no one has control over your mind. No matter your situation, you have the ability and gift to visualize the life you desire. Do not underestimate the power of visualization. All great leaders, creators, authors and business owners have all used visualization to inspire their success. You are what you think yourself to be! Please take some time to enjoy my blog at http://lisedurling.com ~ Lovingly Lise
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Monday, July 22, 2013

How To Finish Strong And Endure To The End

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Photo:  toughmotivation.files.wordpress.com

I'm not an overly athletic person. I'm not one of those people who jump up and down excited to get a workout in. However, I do it regularly because it's not only great for my body but it's great for my emotional health as well. I just feel better in general when I know I'm taking care of myself physically.
At different times in our lives we may lose motivation in something we used to do all the time. This can be due to various reasons. And sometimes all it takes for us to get back on track is that extra push by someone else to hold us accountable.

Well that's what happened to me. I really fell off the bandwagon of exercising and being healthy to a point where I had to make some serious sacrifices and hire a personal trainer for six months straight.
It was one of the best investments I have made in myself. She held me accountable. She got me motivated again. She helped me to get back to a healthy state and now I can do it on my own without her. I remember on my last day I told her that I wasn't the same person I was the day I walked in there.
We all need that little push sometimes.
Where am I going with this?

When I first started working out with her, I was so out of shape that I could barely run 30 seconds without huffing and puffing, pains in my side and everything else. By the time my six months was over I was running 10 minutes straight with no stopping and now I'm up to 12 minutes on my own.
There was one thing she said to me in the beginning as I was struggling to run for 2 minutes and felt like I was going to fall off- she not only INCREASED my speed to push me to go beyond my comfort zone but she said, "just keep your feet moving and you won't fall off."
I was thinking OMG, just keep my feet moving?? My feet won't be moving when I fly off the back of this treadmill and hit the wall!

But she was right. As long as I kept my feet moving I stayed on that treadmill. I never fell off (I think I came close once). Do you know how many times I contemplated hitting the stop button? But I didn't. I kept repeating in my head, "just keep your feet moving, just keep your feet moving." I still do this to this day when I feel myself getting tired. I may have to slow up a bit but I always keep my feet moving and always finish to the end.

This is a life lesson.
In life you have to keep your feet moving, no matter what the situation is. You're going to get tired. You're going to get a stitch in your side. You're going to question yourself. You're going to have OTHER people question you. You're going to have strong days and then turn around and have weak days. Keep. Your. Feet. Moving. The race isn't over until you stop. Even a little movement is better than no movement at all. You can't reach the finish line if you don't keep going.
Ecclesiastes 9:11 says that the race is not given to the swift nor the strong but to those who endure to the end.

It doesn't say to those who get there the fastest, but to those who endure to the end.
Let me emphasize something important: You are not in a race with other people. You have your journey and they have theirs. Too many times we get off our own path and try to run on someone else's track. Stay in your lane. The only person you should be racing against is yourself.

Endure to the end. Sometimes you will have to push yourself. This is all a part of getting stronger so you can finish the race. Do you think I would be this much stronger today if I would have stopped running at 30 seconds months ago or never pushed myself to run longer or harder? No way. I would still be at the same place, huffing and puffing and going nowhere.

As you go along your journey you will become a stronger person and you will look back, see the progress and say, "WOW! Look where God has brought me from!"
So you're number one tip is: Keep your feet moving.
Keep running the race and finish strong.
Be blessed.

Rashana Wright is a motivational strategist, author, speaker, coach, encourager, happy mom to three amazing kids and a proud Navy wife. She is a lover of inspiring and encouraging people and has taken her natural gifts, abilities, and talents in motivating, writing, speaking, and strategizing to empower women to reclaim their joy. She is the author of 7 Steps To Balancing Your Life So You Can Get Back To Being You, Guilt Free! A free time and life management guide for overwhelmed women. Get yours: http://www.realwomenrealchange.com
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Monday, July 15, 2013

How To Attract Women On Your Own Terms

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Photo: stumptownconfidential.com
 
As a person, you probably think that you have to follow society's normal lifestyle. Whether it be to avoid working on a specific day or not working out, these are all things most people tend to follow. In this article, you are going to learn and understand why your life is your own, and why you should begin to take control of it.

Living Your Life On Your Terms And Doing Whatever
During the holidays, you probably believe that not doing anything is the life. And while it is in reality, you should know that you can still live your life completely on your own terms. In other words, you should know that living life on your terms is pretty important. It is the key to helping you to actually living life the way you want it.

Let's just take as an example how often you work. If you own a business; online or offline, you should know that you do not have to take a break on Sunday or on Tuesday. Most people would take a break on at least one or two days. While that is good, you should know that you don't have to spend a day relaxing if you don't want to. If you want to learn more and more, or simply dedicate some of your time to developing more of your craft, it can all be done if you know what to do. If you have a free day and you want to date, go out and do it.

The key in reality is just to know how you can potentially use your day to day life. You cannot just stick around following what everybody else is doing. This is only robbing you or your potential to continue growing and learning. It is highly recommended that you do not make your life a schedule, but instead live on the go with a bit of spontaneity.

Never feel obligated to feel like you have to do something. For example, it is best to consider working out at the gym only 3 days a week. Understand that you can workout 7 days a week if you want to. It is best to take breaks, so be sure to have one but not on a specific day. Just rest if you really want to.
Living life on your terms is definitely one of the things most people take for granted. You have free will to develop yourself, to learn, and to become a better person everyday.

Do you want to change a part of who you are? Do you wish you could only be more confident or courageous enough to pursue your dreams. Walt Disney did say that those who wish to pursue their dreams can see them come to pass, provided that they do pursue their dreams.
Achieving something or changing something is all about working hard. If you personally put in the work, you will surely succeed and make a lot of money. Making your life become similar to how another person lives is not following your free will unless that is what you want and it is what makes you happy.
By the way, do you want the simple secret for approaching any woman, anywhere and know exactly what to say to get her number?

If so, download my free report here: conversation blueprint report
Or do you want to learn how I use text to attract and seduce beautiful women - and how you can too? If so, read this report here: 7 Deadly Texting Secrets
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Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Emotional Intelligence: Optimism Can Be Learned

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Photo: emotional-intelligence-education.com
 
Since optimism can be learned, why is pessimism so rampant? Do we have any say in our attitude, or is it simply 'just the way we are'?

"If you think you can do a thing or you think you can't do a thing - you are right." ~Henry Ford
This now aligns in general with recent research in neuroscience. Pessimists are people who tend to see through a lens of pessimism, and optimists have a brain bias toward optimism. Reality is not objective in these types of situations, in particular. Your reality is real - to you. Life contains both, and sometimes we get what we want and sometimes we don't. The question is, what meaning or story line do you assign to the outcomes that you see?

Is it one of what can be learned? What can you change? Do you just let your emotions swing you wildly out of control? Do you focus on what is missing or 'wrong', or do you look for all the other great things in your life to be thankful for that you DO have?
You see, this choice of happiness or stress and overwhelm is within our control to a huge degree. Whether pessimism was learned or genetic, you can change it. We just have not known it is possible, and we are just now learning how to consciously do it with more ease and less effort. I'm glad I had the courage to get a head start on the science... I have so much more emotional self-mastery now. Trusting intuition can be a 

beautiful and powerful thing.
Enhanced self-awareness and more skillful self-management are the foundations of emotional intelligence and are building blocks for optimism and resiliency. They are essential for maintaining motivation and preventing burnout. Research has shown that optimism is associated with enhancing intrinsic motivation and performance. It has a tendency to inspire others instead of discourage them.

Healthy optimism is informed of what is going on in the environment, yet directs attention toward finding solutions instead toward focusing on threats or past disappointment. The way we direct our attention forms our perception of reality. Pessimists see potential negative realities and optimists see potential positive realities.

'Reality is an illusion; albeit a very persistent one'. ~Albert Einstein
It is persistent because we do not understand how to what I call 'optimally operate' our amazing brain in a way that finds new insights and connections. Most people, apparently, have generally trained their brain to fear or expect threats; hence, that is what we tend to find. How can I say 'most people?' One only need look at the sales of anti-depressants and listen to people complaining of stress and overwhelm. It's virtually epidemic. Yes, this is largely a problem of where we are placing our focus of attention.

Your energy flows, where your attention goes.
Be mindful of how you direct your focus of attention. From a wellbeing point of view, optimism provides protection from hopelessness, powerlessness, and depression. These are all things that create stress and weaken our immune system. Wouldn't it be more productive to focus on what you DO want instead of what you DON'T want?

What can you do?
Mindfulness meditation is a mind-muscle tool that allows us to access our highest level of brain evolution capacity for self-awareness. I call this brain level 'Level 3' (neo-cortex/prefrontal cortex). Once we are at that level, we can more readily apply our EQ skills and tools, develop better leadership skills, and connect with others more skillfully. There are a host of other benefits, as well.
Otherwise, you simply stay stuck in the reactive levels of your brain. Fear can easily hijack you when you are in the lower levels of your mind's evolution.

Mindfulness allows us to take back the steering wheel of our mind. This is the way to tap into new possibilities beyond old patterns... our imagination and creative ideas.
It is the foundation for changing our perception of feelings and enhancing our emotional intelligence more effectively. So think of mindfulness meditation as a tool for mind muscle that leads to a stronger mind... so that our brain is not hijacked so easily.

Valencia Ray, M.D. teaches business owners and corporate leaders how their amazing brain can actually hijack personal power -- not in the abstract, but in the context of integrating business and personal life. Dr. Ray, a board-certified eye surgeon and medical business owner for over 20 years before selling her practice, shares her own life changing process. By sharing her story, she helps others to expand their vision and learn that by living with purpose and confidence, it is possible to have a more integrated, healthier lifestyle - with less struggle, more inner peace and more abundance.

For more information and to contact her regarding dynamic, inspirational keynotes, trainings in collaborative leadership and team building, entrepreneurship and coaching programs, visit her website at http://www.ValenciaRay.com.
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