By
Ian D Lloyd
Photo: ultraspinnablearticles.org
"Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps it's brain?"
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
To have someone truly trust in you is an amazing and humbling feeling that comes with a large degree of responsibility. However, you have to bear in mind that it is not easy to earn, cannot be bought and can quickly be lost if you do something wrong.
There are many ways to gain trust and it would be possible to write a very long list of the do's and don'ts you should follow when trying to build trust with someone. I have tried to distil all my thoughts into the following 5 important tips which encapsulate the essential requirements:
Be Open
Let people into your 'world'. Don't be afraid to express yourself and let people know who you are and what makes you tick. Even if this means sharing some of your weaknesses; it is better to get them out in the open rather than they get discovered later when people have formed a different opinion of you. If you have a tendency to be stubborn or conceited then let people know, in this way they will not be surprised by some of your activities and they may be able to help you overcome some of your challenges. Being open will allow people to get close to you and really get to know you which is incredibly powerful in building trust. One word of caution though, whilst being open is necessary to build trust you do need to be careful who you open the door to. It would be naïve to believe that everyone has your interest at heart so you need to perform some initial screening to decide who to be open with.
Be Honest
At some point in time if you have not been completely honest with a person you will be found out and it could destroy, in minutes, the trust it has taken you so long to build. Avoid those little deviations from the truth as they can soon grow to be mountains of deceit that you will always be trying to protect. It is very true that honesty is the best policy.
Be Supportive
Building trust with someone is not just about you. You must be there for the person(s) you are building trust with... unconditionally. You need to be there when they are feeling low with words of support and encouragement and you need to be there when they face their challenges. All of this support needs to be given without thought to what's in it for you. Knowing that you will be there for someone in a time of need is a powerful aspect in building long term trust.
Be Consistent
People have to know what they can expect from you. If your mood, attitude, behaviour or views change on a frequent basis then they will not know how to approach you and it will be difficult to build any type of relationship. Think about how you would feel if you had no idea how someone was going to react when you met them. We are all allowed to have 'off' days where life just seems to be against us. Don't let this affect your behaviour and share how you are feeling with the people you trust.
Be Patient
It takes time to build trust. It needs a solid foundation of positive events before it can exist. It's a bit like a bank account; you have to keep depositing positive actions in order to build up a balance of goodwill. Don't try to rush the process, it will happen through the long term actions you display.
Ideally trust is not something that is ever discussed or mentioned; it just exists between people who have followed the points described previously. Unfortunately when trust is mentioned, as in 'don't you trust me', then it is often because someone has done something to damage or break that trust. Be true to yourself, your friends, your family and your colleagues and protect that trust that you have built. Be aware that simple, thoughtless actions could very easy damage what has taken you so long to build.
Photo: ultraspinnablearticles.org
"Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps it's brain?"
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
To have someone truly trust in you is an amazing and humbling feeling that comes with a large degree of responsibility. However, you have to bear in mind that it is not easy to earn, cannot be bought and can quickly be lost if you do something wrong.
There are many ways to gain trust and it would be possible to write a very long list of the do's and don'ts you should follow when trying to build trust with someone. I have tried to distil all my thoughts into the following 5 important tips which encapsulate the essential requirements:
Be Open
Let people into your 'world'. Don't be afraid to express yourself and let people know who you are and what makes you tick. Even if this means sharing some of your weaknesses; it is better to get them out in the open rather than they get discovered later when people have formed a different opinion of you. If you have a tendency to be stubborn or conceited then let people know, in this way they will not be surprised by some of your activities and they may be able to help you overcome some of your challenges. Being open will allow people to get close to you and really get to know you which is incredibly powerful in building trust. One word of caution though, whilst being open is necessary to build trust you do need to be careful who you open the door to. It would be naïve to believe that everyone has your interest at heart so you need to perform some initial screening to decide who to be open with.
Be Honest
At some point in time if you have not been completely honest with a person you will be found out and it could destroy, in minutes, the trust it has taken you so long to build. Avoid those little deviations from the truth as they can soon grow to be mountains of deceit that you will always be trying to protect. It is very true that honesty is the best policy.
Be Supportive
Building trust with someone is not just about you. You must be there for the person(s) you are building trust with... unconditionally. You need to be there when they are feeling low with words of support and encouragement and you need to be there when they face their challenges. All of this support needs to be given without thought to what's in it for you. Knowing that you will be there for someone in a time of need is a powerful aspect in building long term trust.
Be Consistent
People have to know what they can expect from you. If your mood, attitude, behaviour or views change on a frequent basis then they will not know how to approach you and it will be difficult to build any type of relationship. Think about how you would feel if you had no idea how someone was going to react when you met them. We are all allowed to have 'off' days where life just seems to be against us. Don't let this affect your behaviour and share how you are feeling with the people you trust.
Be Patient
It takes time to build trust. It needs a solid foundation of positive events before it can exist. It's a bit like a bank account; you have to keep depositing positive actions in order to build up a balance of goodwill. Don't try to rush the process, it will happen through the long term actions you display.
Ideally trust is not something that is ever discussed or mentioned; it just exists between people who have followed the points described previously. Unfortunately when trust is mentioned, as in 'don't you trust me', then it is often because someone has done something to damage or break that trust. Be true to yourself, your friends, your family and your colleagues and protect that trust that you have built. Be aware that simple, thoughtless actions could very easy damage what has taken you so long to build.
About the Author
Ian Lloyd is an coach and internet marketer looking to make a difference for his family and those he can help to be successful. Check out Ian's official internet home page at http://www.ianlloyd63.com
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http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ian_D_Lloyd
Ian Lloyd is an coach and internet marketer looking to make a difference for his family and those he can help to be successful. Check out Ian's official internet home page at http://www.ianlloyd63.com
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