Becoming a More Positive Person

 By Camille Rodriquez

Photo: pep.ph

Over the years, I've had many people tell me that I'm a joyful person. The irony in that is that I would never describe myself that way. What I do know to be true, though, is that being positive, being joyful, and being upbeat in nature can be increased in daily attitudes, no matter whether you feel that way about yourself or not. You can become a more positive person if you want to be by doing the same things that joyful, positive people do all the time. By adding in these three things, every day, you can change your perspective.

1. Pause before you speak or react. This may not seem logical, but think about it. If you're reading this article, you probably want to be more positive. That means that you may not normally be positive. It follows that when you speak and act, it's probably more natural for you to seem negative or discouraging in your tone. Therefore, to be more positive, the first step is to hesitate in giving your reaction or giving comment. Pause and think first. This will curtail the negative words or actions that might be easier to blurt out, and to those around you, it will eliminate the "usual" response they see from you, the more negative one. This is the hardest step, because it requires breaking a habit that you've likely developed over many years, but it also carries the greatest immediate reward.

2. Imagine the best. Right after your short pause, imagine what the best case scenario would be in any given situation. I didn't say that you had to believe that's what's going to happen, but imagine what could happen. Allow yourself a minute to hope. At the very core, positive people are hopeful. It's hope that usually keeps them operating as optimists, and they always allow themselves the luxury of imagining the best. They have developed a habit of asking, "What if?" Practice this step frequently and repeatedly until the habit of hope replaces the habit of criticism.

3. Take action. If you can imagine the best case scenario, then take action or speak the words that will go most directly towards that end result. If you are acting and speaking with a best case scenario in mind, you will naturally be more positive because the driving motivation is positive. It doesn't mean that you will always get to that positive conclusion, but you will be far closer having tried than if you wallow in the negative. Do those things that are positive, or those things that will lead towards the best outcome.

Often, being a more positive person is a factor of where our thoughts dwell on a regular basis. You can allow your thoughts to get stuck in the negative, and if you do, you will always see the limitations and the barriers around you. However, if you want to be a more positive person, you have to stop, imagine and think differently, and then act that way. Think about things that are positive, pure, upbeat, and hopeful. Develop this habit, and you will indeed become a more positive person.

You can read more about Camille Rodriquez, author of "When I Die" and creator of "The VEEP Channel," by visiting her website, http://camillerodriquez.com. Check out the video trailer of her book while you're there.

Mrs. Rodriquez also serves as the Associate Dean at New College Preparatory Academy and Executive Director of National Homeschool Academy. Visit http://www.nationalhomeschoolacademy.com for information on homeschooling and accelerated learning, and you can sign up for special offers there, too.

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Boosting Self Esteem - How to Talk With Confidence

By Derek Butcher

Photo: onlinemedicinetips.com/

Taking time out now to become more self-aware is an investment into your great future. You will know how difficult it is to really know another person even after many years. Even so there will still be unexplored areas of his or her personality.

All of us have the same potential for unexplored areas. How much do you know yourself?. Taking your life so far, do you think all the years spent being yourself are enough to know your inner thoughts, fears, dreams, aspirations and even potential reactions to certain situations?. Do you like what you see when you think about yourself?. Do you believe you are worthy of respect?
This is the foundation of your self-esteem. Esteem is how we value people, places, situations and ourselves It is the emotional and personal value you place on them. However, you are the most important person to value. Once you lose sight of your self-esteem you will not value other people and events. This must mean that you are able to honestly know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses while keeping your self-esteem high
Self-acceptance is your first step in developing self-esteem. One useful way for you to do this is to list all of your personality traits, plan some quiet time for you to reflect on them. Always focus on the positive list first to keep your mind on them in case of any self-doubt. You will gain self-esteem by concentrating on things you can change not on things you cannot. Taking the first step to self-improvement takes courage but think carefully about what is the first step. Then take it.
For example, if you have a bad temper, seek help in controlling it. It will be amazing how you will feel when you overcome just this one area of challenge. You will not get it right first time but each step you take will gradually build your self-esteem and confidence, truly.
If you listed how tall you are on your negative list, accept that you are as tall as you will be and that will not change and stop dwelling on it. Also if you have listed personal behavioural weaknesses like 'I lack charisma', accept that this is not required for high self-esteem and is probably misunderstood anyway.
Naturally you want what you don't have but what you have is fantastic and there are many people who envy you for that. No one may be perfect but any one is capable of turning every negative into positive. This will help you raise your self-esteem which will surely be reflected outwardly and will have a positive influence on how people regard you. Self-esteem is the greatest gift you can give yourself, who will value you higher than you value yourself. NO ONE!

Some thoughts for a journey to improved confidence and self-esteem:

• DEFINE YOUR GOAL

Decide what you want, visualise it, write it down and read it often

• LISTEN AND OBSERVE OTHER PEOPLE

Accurate listening is a skill, you may need to check out what you think you have heard. Always give yourself 'thinking time' before your reply. It's hard to unsay things. Being observant can help you learn so much and enable you to copy especially the words they use.

• HELP OTHER PEOPLE SPEAK

Deliberately build in pauses, show by body language you want them to speak, use encouragement, ask for opinions. This will give you valuable confidence and enable you to gather your thoughts before speaking.

• BALANCE THE GIVE AND THE TAKE

Make sure you get you get a fair share and avoid being a victim or being put upon. You deserve a proper slice of the cake.

• TALK ABOUT FACTS AND FEELINGS

If you only concentrate on facts, you'll be missing the 'human factor'. When you talk openly about your feelings you will find you have a deeper understanding of yourself and others.

• SAY WHAT YOU MEAN

Be direct but not offensive.

 

• SAY NO WHEN YOU MEAN NO

Questioning requests positively and be prepared to say "Yes but..." if NO is a difficult word.

• REMEMBER EYE CONTACT AND GOOD BODY LANGUAGE

There is nothing more likely to earn you respect than looking at people when you are speaking to them. Try it together with using your hands to help describe your words. You will soon overcome any self doubt in conversations.

NEVER JUSTIFY YOUR ACTIONS but DO EXPLAIN THEM CLEARLY

Derek Butcher. TimeChampions.com
Timechampions promote self help programmes, advice, how to guides and personal support with expert focus on Time Management & Life Achievements

Please visit Derek at http://timechampions.com
email: timechampions@aol.com

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Feeling Good About Yourself Is Essential For Success And Happiness

 By Dana Easter El

Photo: 2.bp.blogspot.com

Principle: How you internally feel about yourself is in direct proportion to what you are experiencing in your environment.
Good day and thank you for taking the time to spend with me today. I have a question for you.

• How do you feel about yourself, right here, right now?

How do you feel about yourself when you get up in the morning? How do you feel about yourself when you are at work? How do you feel about yourself when you are at home? How do you feel about yourself when you are at a social function?
You might be asking, what is it that he is getting at with all these questions. Well, how you feel about yourself is in direct proportion to what you are experiencing in your life.
Obviously, most people blame other people, or the environment to their failures in life. It has nothing to do with what is going on outside of you. It has everything to do with what is going on in your very own mind. This may be a tough doctrine for you to swallow. However, I want you to know two things.
The two things are that when you look into a mirror, you are looking at two things:

1. The Source of your problems.
2. The Source for your solutions.

Do you realize that every problem that you encounter in life that within you there is a solution to that problem that you have. The mistake that most people make is that when problems come, they do the following to create a miserable experience:

• They magnify the problem into something much bigger than what it actually is.
• They take things way too personally and encompassing a sense of entitlement thinking that the world owes them something and they will continue to be miserable until they feel they collected.
• They have no gratitude for the problems and do not understand that problems are opportunities in disguise.
• There is so much focus on the problem that they cannot see that the solution is right in front of their very eyes.

This is nothing more than a recipe for misery. Why not make a decision to turn things around and find the solution to the problems which all starts by changing the very thoughts in your mind.
Now, the key is how you feel about yourself. If you have a general good feeling about yourself then you can realize that you have the opportunity to solve your own problems and create opportunities out of them. When you are feeling bad about yourself, then you will not see these opportunities because you will be too busy complaining and condemning every person that crosses your path.
How you feel about yourself is the key to producing success and excellence in your life. That is, if that is what you want for yourself. I believe that is what you want or you would not be here reading this educational material.
In closing, feel good about yourself as you travel on your journey of creating success and excellence in your life. Don't let your external environment control what your internal conditions are. Have a great time.
I wish you well on your journey.
Please go to http://fuelforwellness.com/ for more empowerment and inspiration as well as free tools to help you create success and excellence in your life.
Peace. Dana Easter El - The Doctor Of Excellence.

Dana is the founder of Easter El Enterprises which is an organization that provides tools and services to help people realize the greatness that is inside themselves. Easter El Enterprises gives tools of success and excellence to help people in every area of their lives.
FREE Monthly Emagazine - "Commitment To Excellence": http://fuelforwellness.com/emagazinesignup/ and a FREE Gift for your development needs.

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How to Get Your Self Confidence Back After Being Torn Down

 By Rebecca Sebek

Photo: mayurjain.files.wordpress.com

If you've ever been torn down by someone, your self-confidence can take a nose dive faster than an airplane that's out of control. It's possible to get your self-confidence back, but you must do some 'inner' work. How did you attract someone who treated you badly? How do you really feel about you? Do you think you deserve love and respect? Asking yourself these and other questions will help you get to the 'root' cause as to why you'd allow someone to treat you badly. Once you do the 'inner' work, you can begin to get you self-confidence back.
How to Get Your Self Confidence Back After Being Torn Down
Journal your feelings. Not facing your feelings is worse than facing them. Instead of dealing with your feelings, you may stuff them with drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, food, and other addictions. Buy a couple of journals and write until you can't write no more. Get all of your feelings out of your system. When you're ready, take a deep breath and read what you won't. It will be cathartic and painful at the same time but at least you'll face your feelings and will be able to heal yourself.
Realize that most people are insecure. Anyone that has the need to tear you or someone else down has major self-esteem issues. Send that person that tore you down lots of love and move forward with your life. Forgive them because they didn't know what they were doing. Forgiveness doesn't mean exonerating the person for treating you badly, it means you release your from the person and situation.
Conduct the mirror exercise. Every day look in the mirror and say, "I love you." The more you say this, the more your self-confidence will return.
Enroll in a martial arts class. Not only will you lose weight and tone your body, you'll gain your self-confidence back. Martial arts classes are great for learning discipline. You'll find your inner strength and will begin to honor yourself more. The more you honor yourself the less likely you'll ever be torn down by another person. You'll also learn about trust, loyalty, and honor.
Hire a counselor and life coach. A counselor can help you analyze and get to the 'root' issue as to why you were torn down by someone. How did it happen? How confident were you as a person? When did your self-confidence diminish? How old were you? You'll be asked to go within to find the answers. Chances are you still have some issues to work out from your childhood. Most people do.
Hiring a life coach in conjunction with a counselor is a great way to move forward in your life. A counselor is usually about the past, whereas a life coach is about the present/future. They can work with you to help you regain your self-confidence by giving you solid information that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Make sure you find a coach that goes beyond giving you homework to do. This isn't coaching -- it's babysitting. You want a coach that will really work with you and hold you accountable. If you don't do the work, you won't regain your self-confidence back. You want a life coach that expects you to gain your self-confidence back. They'll give you the tools but it's up to you if you use them or not.
Enroll in a self-assertive or self-defense class. This is a great way to learn how to assert and protect yourself. You'll learn that 'shadow' dancing with someone isn't an option. You'll know how to take handle someone who could potentially tear you down. You'll be able to recognize signs such as aggression, arrogance, passive/aggressive behavior, and other signs. You won't allow people to walk all over you. You'll show them who the boss is in your life and won't attract them into your life anymore!
Learning how to take down someone who's trying to harm you will boost your self-confidence. You'll save your life in more ways than one. You'll assert yourself and be able to get out of harm's way at the same time.
Enroll in a public speaking class. Most people are terrified of public speaking -- they'd rather face death! Public speaking is a great way to get your confidence back. If you can speak to 50 or more people while staying cool, calm, and collective, not only will you get your self-confidence back, but you'll have the respect of your fellow speakers.
No one has the right to tear another person down. If you allow this happens this means you don't honor and respect yourself. Find out why this is and get help to change it. Furthermore, anyone who tears another person down could use some help! Remember that everyone is important and no one is an 'extra' on planet earth. Allow no one to mistreat you and take your power back once and for all!

DEORConsulting is a life coaching, consulting, and education company for teens, parents, guardians, and professionals who work with teens. DEOR stands for Design.Own.Empower.Resolve.
Teens often struggle with the teenage years. With Rebecca as their life coach and consultant, teens can learn the secret to transforming their life for the better. Being a teen today is not like it was back in the day! Teens need extra support to guide them through these years. Rebecca helps teenagers grow in mind, body, spirit and other areas. She provides them with the essential life skills and tools they can use for success.
Rebecca Sebek
Website: http://www.DEORConsulting.com

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How to Convert Fear Into Fuel

By Danielle T. Pierre

 Photo: 1.bp.blogspot.com

Over recent years, I have come to realize that the complete elimination of fear is unlikely. There was a point, not too long ago, that I believed I could learn to get rid of fear and then life would be grand. Well, not exactly. I still have fears, but guess what? Life is grand anyway.
No matter how many positive affirmations, yoga sessions, hypnotherapy tapes and personal development resources I tap in to, fear still creeps its way to into my thoughts. Don't get me wrong, all of those practices are very empowering and I highly recommend that you do one or more of them daily. However, I'm not going to try and sell you the idea that you can completely eliminate fear, because I no longer believe that to be accurate. Not exactly what you expected to hear is it?
Great, so now what?
Use fear to your advantage. Envision it as the spark that lights the fire. See, I found that the real key is not to allow your fears to have any control over you. Although fear may appear to be very real, it is something that only exists in the mind. Rather than allow it to paralyze you, use fear to fuel you. There is nothing more empowering than finding a way to turn something negative into something positive!
Now the big question - how do we do it? How do we convert our fear into fuel?
First, you must acknowledge fear for what it really is - an illusion. It is an emotional response to a thought or series of thoughts. Even when you are directly in the face of a fearful situation, you aren't actually fearing the situation itself but what the result of that situation might be. You must completely grasp the fact that fear's only real power is that which you give it in your mind and how you respond to and harness that emotion is where the real power lies.
For instance, some years ago there were two people I knew who were both diagnosed with a terminal illness. Interestingly, their perspectives toward this reality were quite different. One was terrified of dying and cried for several weeks while the other immediately rejected the prognosis and adopted an "I'm going to survive" attitude. They had the same diagnosis and the same prognosis; two different attitudes. The person who was terrified allowed fear to paralyze her and eventually take her life, while the other person converted her fear into fuel and used that fuel to fight the disease. This is a true story and she is now cancer free, against great odds. Had she believed the doctor's opinion and given in to fear, she may have had a much different outcome.
Of course we are going to feel negative emotions and quite frankly there would be cause for concern if you didn't have them. What we do with those emotions is what determines our outcomes.
We always have a choice as to how we react to any given situation. It's not fear, or anger, or doubt that takes us down, but our reactions. We must make a conscious effort to train ourselves to control our responses and this is done by repetition. Take it one thought, one emotion at a time.
Some things will frighten you, some things will anger you, some things will sadden you and some things will disappoint you. That's part of the human experience. How are you going to react? Make a conscious choice to react in a way that empowers you and will inspire those around you. That choice - the choice to respond with confidence and courage - will ultimately convert your fear into fuel.

D. Pierre is the owner of DP Motivation, a professional service dedicated to the empowerment and personal development of those seeking to improve the quality of their life. For your FREE empowerment gifts and more information visit the website listed below.
Danielle Pierre
Author, Coach, Hypnotherapist
info@dpmotivation.com
800-399-4618
http://www.dpmotivation.com

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Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

 By Richard Brody

Photo: stumbleforward.com

Many people have difficulty trying to figure out or understand why they are not more successful than they are, or as successful as they wished that they were. I have worked with people who seemingly put in the training, time and effort, only to get less than stellar results from their efforts. Amongst many possible reasons for this, one that is often the stumbling block for many people is getting out of their own personal comfort zone.
What is a "comfort zone?" Most, if not all people, find certain tasks easier to do than others, and find certain things difficult and challenging, often resisting and avoiding those actions. Doing only what seems to come naturally is someone's comfort zone. It consists of the development of a specific attitude or attitudes, that often create either a resistance to doing certain things or taking certain actions, or avoiding them completely. Thus, the individual seems to repeatedly do things the same way, often creating a routine that simply puts him in a rut. In training people in these types of areas for more than three decades, I tell my audiences that the word routine is spelled "R-O-U-T-I-N-E" and that if you remove the letter "I" and the word "One" from a routine, and erase those letters, the word then spells "rut," and isn't a comfort zone directed routine nothing more than a rut.
I then challenge people to do certain things differently than they are used to, that are therefore a departure from their comfort zone. One of the exercises I use is called the "Elevator." In this demonstration, I bring a few people onto the stage, and ask them to enter from the front as they would in an elevator, and then stand and position themselves in imaginary elevator as they would in a real one. Nearly every time the same thing happens. All the volunteers walk straight onto the stage, and then, once in the "car," turn around and face forward. Observe this yourself the next time you go into an elevator yourself. Everyone faces the front. Why, because that is their routine and what everyone else does. Then I recommend that the next time the circumstance occurs, don't turn around, and face the rear, and watch the "strange" reaction of the other passengers.
Next, actually make eye contact with the fellow riders, and say "Hello." You will observe that most will do almost anything to avoid any type of real eye contact. Think of how this lesson can assist you in facing other obstacles that you place in your own way, simply because it's a habit.
One of the greatest faults of many leaders is their unwillingness or inability to change some of their personal routine and do some things that might be somewhat uncomfortable. However, isn't that really what leadership should be all about. Be a leader, and lead yourself first, and then you can help others.

Richard Brody has over 30 years consultative sales, marketing, training, managerial, and operations experience. He has trained sales and marketing people in numerous industries, given hundreds of seminars, appeared as a company spokesperson on over 200 radio and television programs, and regularly blogs on real estate, politics, economics, management, leadership, negotiations, conferences and conventions, etc. Richard has negotiated, arranged and/ or organized hundreds of conferences and conventions. Richard is a Senior Consultant with RGB Consultation Services, an Ecobroker, a Licensed Buyers Agent (LBA) and Licensed Salesperson in NYS, in real estate.
Richard Brody has owned businesses, been a Chief Operating Officer, a Chief Executive Officer, and a Director of Development, as well as a consultant. Richard has a Consulting Website ( http://tinyurl.com/rgbcons ); a blog ( http://tinyurl.com/rgbstake ); and can be followed on Twitter.

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Who Is Your Enemy?

 By Irina Serban

Photo: farm4.static.flickr.com

Each and every day has its own heroes. Oh, yes, because we are brave and courageous beings when the enemy has a form, a structure, a body, a name. It is then that we know what weapons to choose, how to fight, when to retreat and regroup in order to deliver one last powerful attack in order to destroy our enemy.
We are brave when we fight wars against well-known and very well-defined enemies, when we try to defeat natural adversities and rebuilt everything that was destroyed from and with almost nothing, when somebody is in danger and we do not hesitate once in running to their rescue. We know that we have to use guns or just our fists to fight the wars or to come to the rescue of another human being, we know that we need boats to run from floods, we need water to put out fires, we need to plant trees on muddy slopes to prevent them from collapsing, we need to take cover when powerful storms take hold on everything around. In each and every action we use our intelligence in order to see in chaos the seeds of a new world. For all of the above mentioned situations and maybe for many other, we somehow manage to find that courage which takes us out of our inertia.
What if the enemy is invisible? And I do not mean it as in the science fiction tradition... What if that enemy lurks in the darkest, unreachable corner of our souls and hearts? It has no name, it has no face, we do not know when and how it will attack, but we surely feel when we are under siege. We get that feeling of absolute panic and we start running around in circles, clueless of what to use and how to do it in order to silence it. Where is our courage, our bravery, our fortitude?
Well, they are still in there, in us, but since the enemy is apparently invisible, the panic will not allow us to see our courage. And I will tell you a secret: it is not true that this ferocious enemy has no name, no face. Just go and look into the mirror! See?! Here it is, in front of your eyes you have your worst enemy: Yourself! Or to better put it: your innermost Self. The one which knows you so well, knows your weaknesses, your fears, has a memory that goes beyond what you are still able to physically remember, hears your doubts and can hardly wait to feed itself from all of these and grow stronger. This enemy does not want you to make a move, tries to belittle you and makes you feel unworthy. It keeps pouring into your ear words of the type: 'you can't', 'it's impossible', 'don't try this, it's pointless', 'there were others before you who did that better than you could possibly do it', 'you don't have what it gets to succeed', 'you don't give enough'. You are familiar with these words, aren't you? What about its direct attacks to your heart, your feelings? 'Don't you see, they don't like you', 'nobody understands you', 'they ignore you', 'you're insignificant', 'you're alone'... Ouch, those hurt a lot!
How can we fight such an unpredictable and well-prepared enemy, an enemy which strikes from within? Simply by applying the same rules we apply in fighting the external enemies.

1. We need to establish the battle field. In this case the battle takes place within us.
2. We need to find our allies. It is good to have an external ally: a family member, a friend, but your fight is your fight, they cannot get in there, so you are still alone. Your allies are: your wishes, your dreams, the voice of your heart. You will know when your heart is speaking because your heart has no such words as: 'don't', 'can't', 'impossible', 'silly', etc. in its vocabulary. Your heart will tell you to go on no matter what. All the other words you hear belong to your mind, to that inner Self that thinks you are unworthy.
3. A war is always fought with weapons. Once you transformed that loud voice, that tries to prevent you from moving forward, in a feeble sound, you are going to see clearly your weapons: courage, power to ignore the annoying buzzing of the negative thoughts, perseverance no matter what. You do not give up on a real battle field, why should you give up on you?
4. You will also needa reason, a 'why do I fight this war'. Be it because you cannot stand anymore the inertia state you are in and you feel the desperate need to move on, be it because you have a dream to fulfill, be it because you want to improve your life or change it, be it because you do it for the welfare of your family, in the end, it does not really matter what the reason is, if it exists. Any reason is a good reason. We are not born to stand still and do nothing. Nothing we see around us, from the smallest to the greatest of things, would be here if our ancestors would have stood still, paralyzed with fear by their worst enemies: they themselves.
5. Rule number four may be completely overlooked if the voice of your heart is so strong as to silence the rationalizations you will nevertheless keep hearing in your fight. And your heart makes itself heard loudly and clearly when you follow your dream. The voice of your dreams is in fact the voice of your heart, and, thus, you do not need a reason, but only a heart to follow.
6. Finally you need a goal.You have to know where you are heading, what outcome you want your fight to have. Are you scared to think on the long run? Then keep in mind your final goal, but each and every day, assign a new one that will bring you one more step closer to the final goal. Just make sure you achieve your daily goals!

It is as simple as that and after a while, when looking in the mirror, instead of seeing that unknown, powerful enemy, you will be able to see yourself as you really are: courageous, an example of fortitude in front of adversities, a being with a worthwhile purpose, a fighter for a noble cause: that of overcoming fears and making a difference, always moving forward, steadily and decisively as a river which carves its way in stones. When its waters dry out, its bed will always stand there as a proof over millenniums that it once flowed over that land.
Be a river and the enemy within will become your guide: you will know that the stronger its voice gets, the truer is the path you are on.
Have a good fight and you will live a good life!

In the deepest silence of your soul you will hear your heart's voice brought to you by the whispers of the winds. This is the page where they are translated into stories
Join me at The Whispering Voice page
http://www.facebook.com/thewhisperingvoice

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