Simple Goal Setting - One Step At A Time

 By Clare Evans 

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With the end of the year approaching, now is a good time to think about your goals for the next year, but you can do this any time you need to get focused. First take a look at what you've achieved so far. What did you learn, what were the highs and lows?
Then think about what you would like to achieve in the coming year. Do you have one BIG goal that you would like to achieve, or perhaps three or four goals that you would like to complete next year - and no, I don't mean those New Year 'resolutions' which rapidly fade from view by about the middle of February.
I mean some specific goals that you really want to achieve next year and to which you're going to make a commitment to yourself, and preferably someone else, that you're going to do them. Perhaps you do want to give up smoking, lose weight or get fit - that's fine but give it some purpose and put a plan in place so that you can actually achieve it.
Here are a few key steps to enable you to turn your goals into reality:

• What is your big goal or dream? Whether it's a small hill or high mountain - what do you want to change in your life? Where do you want to be - physically, mentally or emotionally - by the end of the coming year? Write your goals down and pin them up where you'll see them every day.
• Think about what will it look and feel like to have achieved your goal. Why do you want it - what will it mean to you? How much do you really want it and what impact will it have on your life? This step is important, as if you have a solid underlying reason for doing something and can see the benefits of doing it, you're more likely to achieve it.

To make more sense of your goals, make them S.M.A.R.T. goals. If you haven't seen this acronym before - it means Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.
Specific - don't set a goal to 'lose weight' - set a goal to lose 10lbs or if you want to get fit - set a goal to walk or run a certain distance without getting out of breath or complete a sponsored walk or run a 10k.
Measurable - give your goal a series of targets that you can measure as you go - 10lbs so you can check off each pound on a weekly basis, or if you want to save or earn a specific amount of money, or rate your goal on a scale of 1-10.
Achievable - don't decide to climb Everest if it's so way beyond your skills and ability that you're just setting yourself up for failure. Think about the time, resources and skills available. Stretch yourself but be realistic, otherwise you won't commit to it.
Relevant/Realistic - make sure your goals fit with your bigger vision for your life or business. Don't make them so easy that they're not a challenge but not so difficult that you'll never achieve them either.
Time-bound - set a date for when you plan to achieve this goal. This stops it drifting off into something indefinite and gives you a target for which to aim.
It also helps if you make yourself accountable to someone. If you tell someone else about your goal, not only will this keep you motivated but they can help to keep you on track. This could be your partner, friend, colleague, a mentor or a coach.
Now break up your big goal into smaller, more achievable steps. What information or skills do you need? Perhaps there are some additional training courses on to which you need to book yourself. Who could you talk to; what do you need to know first?
What do you need to do within the next 6-12 months towards your goal? Put a plan in place with smaller goals, actions and stepping stones along the way to help you achieve it.

• What do you need to do this month?
• What can you do this week?
• What can you do today?

Now that you've set your goals, go do it!

Clare Evans is the author of a time management book. She is a personal and business coach and enables individuals and business owners to get more out of their day and make better use of their time.
How good is your Time Management - find out in my FREE Time Audit and get free articles, information, tips and resources when you register for her free newsletter http://www.clareevans.co.uk

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Remember To Be Who You Are

 By Michael A Valentine 

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While working with a client recently, I was reminded how easy it is to forget who we are as an individual. Anxiety is very good at hijacking our identity and forcing us to believe that we become something other than ourselves - that we become anxiety itself.
How is this possible?
Although the term "anxiety" covers several conditions that people deal with - from anxiety disorders, panic disorders, phobias, etc - the one thing that is consistent in all of the conditions is the fact that the mind creates a constant loop of thoughts and images that seem to play over and over again. These loops are either trying to relive the past or predict the future.
In the process of this anxious thinking we forget to pay attention to ourselves. We become conditioned to looking away from the things that define us, and ultimately we allow the anxiety to define who we are. Our identity slips away from us and we lose touch with who we are as individuals.
I asked my client to tell me something about him - and he started talking about his anxiety. I brought him back to the question, "tell me something about YOU". He looked at me almost confused and said he didn't understand. Then I rattled off a list of questions, everything from his favorite color to what he likes to watch on television. As he started to recall all the things in his life that he enjoyed - the things that truly defined him as an individual - there was a tremendous shift in his focus. His focus went from "anxiety" to "me" - almost instantly he was reminded of a confident, empowered self that used to exist before anxiety started to dictate his life.
Having a moment of awakening like this can be extremely beneficial for recovery. One needs to harness this confidence and empowerment and apply it to further recovery over and over again. Anxiety disorders are a conditioning of sorts that may have taken years to get to the point where the client starts to seek help in recovery - therefore no one can expect recovery to happen in a short period of time. We have to learn to string together many moments like this before we can expect any lasting benefit.
How can someone apply this information?
What I suggest is to my clients is to make a list of all the things that they like. Everything they can think of at that moment and the list can be updated and changed as often as they would like. I also suggest that the list be broken down into two categories - one list of things that can be enjoyed on a fairly regular basis (television shows, types of foods, etc.) and the other category can be of things that we can associate with good feelings / happy memories (previous vacations, music, etc.).
I suggest keeping these lists handy to help remind us of who we are. Even if for a few minutes per day to get in touch with who we are as individuals can ultimately have an enormous impact on our recovery. This is just one small piece in creating recovery.
If you have any specific suggestions of topics that you would like me to focus on, please feel free to send me an email outlining what you are interested in specifically, and I will try my best to address every concern in the upcoming newsletters.

I have personally dealt with symptoms of anxiety disorder for many years. Seventeen years ago I entered a program to deal with my own anxiety and since then I have been learning and researching treatments from top experts in their respected fields. I have since completed the required training to become a Certified Anxiety & Phobia Counselor, and am currently employed by a local hospital running 9 week workshops & an ongoing weekly support group focused specifically on controlling anxiety.

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10 Ways To Use Relaxation Techniques To Manage Your Relationship Stress

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Relationship stress can be really hard and stressful, especially when you are going through a tough in your life. Managing relationship stress can be difficult if you don't know how to relax. It can have some adverse effect on your health, your career and your social life if you don't manage the relationship stress properly. Fortunately, there are some relaxation techniques that can be used to reduce the stress and give your mind some peace. Here are 10 ways to use relaxation techniques to manage your relationship stress.
1. When you feel extremely stressed or you just had an argument, then go to a room alone and sit down on a sofa or a chair. Sit in an upright position. Then try relaxing your muscles, starting from your feet and moving upwards. When you are stressed your body starts producing chemicals that make our muscles tense. When you relax your muscles you send a signal to the brain that the situation is better now and there is no need for the intense stress.
2. Concentrate on something else rather than the reason that is causing the stress. Although it might seem hard to concentrate on something else when you have relationship problem but you won't succeed unless you try. Using step 1 relaxation technique will help you concentrate on relaxing your muscles rather than the stress.
3. Learn to use your hobbies as your solace. There comes a time in relationships when you just want to get away from your partner for a little while and spend some time on your own. It is important to have some hobbies that can do in your spare time which help you to relax.
4. Yoga is one of the best relaxation techniques today. It helps improve your health and teaches you many methods that you can use in your day to day life to feel better. If your partner is interested then both of you can join yoga classes together and learn the techniques to reduce the stress.
5. Relationships often get to a point when you feel like that there is nothing left in the relationship but fights and arguments. At such times there is very good way to reduce the stress and build your confidence in the relationship. All you have to do is close your eyes and think of the wonderful times you had with your partner. This will help your mind relax and will give you a reason to try to improve your relationship.
6. Aroma therapy is another popular technique used these days by many to reduce stress. Essential oils are used to alter the mood of a person in this therapy. You and your partner can do this together and once both of you are in a good and calm mood you can discuss many things that are difficult to discuss when stressed out.
7. You may have overlooked it all these years but one of the most effective techniques to reduce stress is touch therapy. If you are both stressed out due to some reason, then a simple touch from your loved one can create a lot of difference. Just holding hand with your partner sends a signal to the brain to reduce the stress. If not your partner, then a hug from your kids or parents can do the trick.
8. Breathing techniques are becoming more and more popular these days. They only take about five minutes to perform but can have a very good effect in stress reduction.
9. There are a lot of therapies available in the market that can be used to learn new ways to reduce stress. Mediation is one of those techniques that will always be popular because of its effectiveness. It teaches you to control your thoughts and help achieve a positive attitude towards life.
10. Exercises and healthy food are probably the most underrated stress reduction techniques. They help in many ways to reduce stress. If you can spare some time to run, jog, or swim everyday then you will see the difference yourself. Endurance training is also very effective. Healthy food is extremely important to maintain your health during stressful times.
Relaxation techniques might not find you the exact way to stop your relationship stress altogether, but they will help you reduce the stress that affects your physical and mental functioning. If you are able to reduce the stress and take control over your mind then you will be able to stop your relationship stress once and for all.

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You Must Believe in Yourself

 By Kathryn Lee Ryder 

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Believe and you can achieve! Do you believe you can't? You are right. Do you believe you can? You are right. There is no right or wrong. It's all about choice... YOUR CHOICE!
I am a woman that lived and left an abusive relationship, I know how abuse encourages negative self talk. After walking out of my 23-year relationship it seemed like a full-time job to learn how to believe in myself and my inner guidance. I had to find a way to reverse all the negative internal chatter my abuser managed to fuel within me.
Learning to believe in myself again began with tiny little baby steps of personal growth. As the baby steps grew into steps, and those steps grew into strides, I began to face an army of resistance. During my personal growth towards a "new me" many well-meaning people in my life began to question my motives. Not only did they question what I was doing, but they were quick in their attempts to knock me down (for my own benefit, of course).
As you progress along your path of personal growth many people in your life will challenge you. The truth is they have grown comfortable with the old you, the predictable you. However, personal growth reflects change; it will present a "new you" on a whole new level. Unfortunately, it is human nature to resist change. If you have changed, your closest friends and family might surely assume it is for the worst. It is easy for them to view you this way because you are making their world uncomfortable. Therefore, in their mind, you must be the selfish person in the game of "their" life. I can't tell you how many times I was told, "You are rocking the boat."
For those of you that know me as a successful Author, Speaker & Life Skills Instructor it might interest you to know my success was a difficult climb (as with most success stories). During the most challenging years, family and friends tried to place doubt in my mind, and when that didn't work they tried to shove it down my throat. They saw me a dreamer. They couldn't understand why I wouldn't just go get a "real job" like the rest of society. They judged me as a stumbled and fell upon poverty.
In fact, just prior to reaching success, two life long friends chose the low road by confronting me with, "What on Earth are you thinking? We are concerned with you and what you doing!" In short, our friendship self-destructed as they wrongfully assumed I was suffering some sort of self-destructive behaviour.
My journey to freedom, away from my abuser, was a difficult climb. However, it was a journey where many true friends, and family members, stood beside me and believed in my quest.
However, holding a dream of reaching out to help abused women find a whole new beginning in their life was viewed as ridiculous. How dare I believe in a dream? What makes me think I can actually make a living doing what I loved to do? They wanted me to remain in their powerless, pitiful excuse for making a living. Even though they don't make enough money, at a job they do not like, it was, in their opinion, a better option for living life.
"Really?!?!?" is my only reply.
What they couldn't see was my burning desire, determination and belief that I could live the life of my dreams. To me, it wasn't a case of "maybe I could". It was a deep belief that someday, somehow, "I would".
Yes, I had to put in my time but I never gave up on my dream.
Yes, sometimes I took detours to survive, but I never gave up on my dream.
Yes, I made mistakes and failure was served to me on a broken platter many times.
The question is, "Did I use failure as an excuse to give up?" No!
To me, failure is...
(1) figuring out what NOT to do next time
(2) falling down and NOT getting back up.
To me, success is...
(1) falling down and getting back up to try again, and again, and again
(2) falling down so many times that you finally reach success.
Thomas Edison has been quoted for claiming he discovered 10,000 ways in which electricity would not work. He refused to give up on his dream to invent electricity.
No matter the path you choose in your life, you must find a way to stand tall and believe in yourself!

Kathryn Lee-Ryder is dedicated to helping abused women find a whole new beginning in their life. Find more resources @ http://www.journeytofreedom.ca

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5 Ways To Reduce Stress As A Student

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University life, is full of stress it can be financial, academic or social.  When a student  goes to university, after living with his or her parents their whole life being student newbie  can be overwhelming by all the options, pressure and freedom. Many students cannot handle all the constant state of stress and pressure.
University life, is the most important phase of life for a student as this is when he or she learns how to handle pressure.To overcome your stress, you need to be organized and be prepared for everything that could be expected.
Many people learn this in university and the same rules apply throughout their life. It is something that you need learn from your experience's,  when dealing with student stress and your personal life.
Listed below are some useful tips and suggestions to help you manage student stress in a healthy way. Here is a list of 5 ways to reduce stress as a student.
1. Time management:  Having classes, jobs, assignments and tests are only a small part of the life as a  student. But also having to balance  parties to attend, gym classes, football practice with your academic studies. Time management is the key to leading a stress free life in university. To make sure you get everything done right, you need to create a practical timetable for every activity. You should stick to your planned schedule and allocate each of the important activities in terms of their priority.

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2. Prioritize: It sometimes becomes impossible to do everything when you are a student. It is inevitable that you will have to choose between two or more of your activities. You should have a clear list of priorities in your mind. At the top of the list should be studies because that is the reason why you are in university. Nothing should ever hinder the progress of your studies. As long as you are doing good in your studies, you should be stress free most of the time.
3. Financial stress: Most of the students deal with financial stress in their student life. To get over it you can search for part time jobs, financial aids and jobs during summer vacations. It is a good idea to create a budget of your expenses and stay under it at all cost. Make sure to stick to the budget you created, then you will never worry about money as a student.
4. Relationship stress: Relationships are a big cause of stress, not only in university but throughout life. But it becomes very difficult when you are a young person in university and when you are not as experienced with relationships as adults are. It is at this stage that  most students are under constant stress due to relationships.
You need to understand as a student, that this is just the beginning of your love life and you will have many more relationship's in the future. But the most important is your studies which should not tampered with at any cost.
5. Future Uncertainty: The uncertainty of future is the primary concern of many students. Especially with the recession many students are worried about their future and recovering the money they spent in university. The best way to handle this is to concentrate on your studies and make sure that you are giving your education all your best effort. This will help to increase your chances of getting a job.
If you are working hard and doing well in university there is no way that you will remain jobless after the end of your university education. The recession is only temporary, but the skills and knowledge that you will learn in university will last forever.

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10 Tips for Helping a Depressed Child

By Alexandra Massey  

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1. Take a look at your own life.
Are you depressed? Have you got other issues within your family structure? Are there things going on in your life which could be affecting your child? Your child could be more affected by your actions than you realise; take a good look at your own life and get the help you need.
2. Start talking to the child.
Don't talk at them, talk with them. Really, really talk. Start sentences with I feel or I sense and avoid you always, you should, you never etc. It maybe easier to get them talking when you are both busy and slightly distracted e.g. whilst you are both doing the washing up. You want to be available for them to feel safe and open up.
3. Ask and listen.
Ask 'What's troubling you?' and avoid 'What's wrong with you?' They may not know why they are depressed but listen to how they feel without any judgement. Say 'No matter what you tell me I won't be angry' and stick to it. Whatever the response is, listen carefully with your ears, eyes and instincts. Don't fill in the empty silences but let the child come forward - they always will when given the time and space.
4. Respond with courage.
If what you hear is shocking, breath deeply but don't explode; respond with something like 'I/we will help you get through this'. Save your emotional outpouring for another adult. The child is depending on you. Be a safe haven for the child. They weren't born depressed; something has affected them to make them feel this way. Find your compassion. Become the parent you would want for yourself.
5. Get on their team.
When you have an understanding of your child's issues think about who you need to speak to, recruit, confront etc in order to get behind your child's needs? Become like a manager of your child's 'team' and talk to other members of their 'team' (e.g. teachers) to sort out problems inside and outside the home. Your actions will speak louder than words. They will begin to trust you, open up to you and start to come out of isolation.
6. Set the boundaries.
Children feel cared for, cherished and safe when boundaries for behaviour are set with love and respect. They feel bad if they know they are getting away with things they shouldn't. Make boundaries crystal clear even writing them out and sticking them on the wall if you have to.
7. Feed them well.
Bad food encourages depression. Change their diet. Aim for five portions of fruit and vegetables a day. Leave a bowl of fruit on the table or put some fresh fruit salad in the fridge. Lead by example and eat a good meal with them.
8. Spend more time with them.
Depressed children need time with adults who love them. Spend time with them on their level. Do what they want to do. Do some colouring, go to the park, take them shopping, play games with them etc. adjusting the activity to their age.
A guide to a minimum amount of time to spend with them is:
1 hour a day
1 day a week
1 weekend a month
1 week a year
9. Love them up.
Tell them how much you love them and give them the evidence e.g. 'I love the way you laugh because when you laugh I feel like laughing too and that gives me the best feeling in the world.' Show how much you enjoy them by spending more time with them. The best way to help a child who is depressed is to become the protective, loving and supportive parent they need to express themselves.
10. Sign up both of you for one activity outside the home.
Find an activity for both of you to do together. Undertaking a common interest with your child is a great way of showing your commitment to your child. It can be as simple as a weekly walk. This will help them feel better about themselves which will help them come out of isolation.
Follow these ten tips through and watch them blossom!

Alexandra Massey is a best selling author. Her first book 'Beat Depression And Reclaim Your Life' has become a staple for those people looking for help with depression. If you'd like to discover more about Alexandra's work, go to http://www.alexandramassey.co.uk

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3 Steps to Overcome Financial Stress in Early Recovery

 By Wendell J Montney 

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Changes in early recovery don't come easy.
There's almost always unresolved issues from before you became clean and sober.
One of the most common is the financial burden.
If you're struggling financially here are three ways to get yourself back on the road to financial independence.
1. Start With a Job
It's clear that if you don't have a job, you won't find financial security.
I hear people say all the time that there are no jobs available. What they really mean is "there are no jobs I'd like to do". This is a much different idea.
We don't always get the job we'd like, but you can't be too picky. Especially if you have to work two jobs to get the money you need.
If you already have a job and it doesn't pay enough, try to look for a BETTER position somewhere else.
and then...
2. Make Yourself a Budget
Think of a budget as a road map.
You need to know where you're going and check periodically to see if you're headed in the right direction.
Be sure to allocate a specific amount for every expense to avoid overspending.
You'd be amazed at how much you spend on simple things like fast food and coffee. So, limit yourself to enough money for entertainment and food... when it's gone, it's gone.
Don't forget to keep your receipts. It'll help you know where each dollar went.
And remember, you don't have to spend everything you earn. Take time to pay yourself and save a little from each paycheck.
If you save 10% of every check, 10% for charity and 80% for your living expenses you'll find there'll be enough money to go around.
A really good tip is to get yourself a calendar to write on. Write down your paydays and due dates for all your bills.
And finally...
3. Let Go of Old Habits
You've already eliminated alcohol and drugs from your expenses. Are there any other habits you could cut back from?

• Do you smoke?
• Do you eat out a lot or have fast food?
• How many coffees do you buy?
• How much do you spend on lottery?

Another bad habit that can hurt your income is credit. If you pay interest on debt, a significant part of your income isn't available to improve your standard of living or plan for your retirement.
The goal to become debt free is the single most important wealth building concept you can learn.
Being in early recovery is stressful enough. So, get a good job, stick to your budget and let go of your old habits and the months will get better.
And above all else... follow through.

If you or someone you know is looking for addiction support for families and friends of addicts visit FreeMyAddict.com to get them the help they need.

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Stress and Balanced Living: What's Your Biggest Challenge?

 By Donna L Hamilton M.D. 

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Stress comes in many flavors. Sometimes it's the annoying red lights you catch when you're running late. Other times it's the excitement and nerves of starting something new. No matter what it looks like, prolonged exposure to stress can lead to feeling overwhelmed and out of balance.
That might not sound like earth shattering news. You already know you have to do something to feel less stressed and more balanced. The tricky part for most people is figuring out what to do.
Becoming aware of what's throwing your life out of whack is a good place to start. Once you have an idea of the specific issues causing you to feel overwhelmed, it's easier to create a plan for addressing them. Though everyone has different challenges, many people will find they've been stumbling over one of these four "balance bumps."
1) The Tug of War: It's tough to feel balanced and relaxed when parts of your life pull you in different directions. The most common example of this is when work responsibilities require you to spend more hours in the office, while home responsibilities call for you to spend more time there. Unless someone invents a way to create more time in a day you can't do both. Something has to give. Unless you find a solution that you could be you. No one wants that.
2) Creeping Commitments: Perhaps you've created a nice balance between energy spent at work and at home. You've even managed to carve out a little time for yourself to do a hobby or volunteer work. Gradually, however, one piece of your nicely balanced schedule starts to require more time and energy.
Maybe it's a family member that needs a little more attention or a new client requiring a lot of attention. It could even be your "fun" activity: you're the best volunteer they've ever seen, so they keep asking you to do more and more. Whatever the source, those small but steady increased demands for your attention can gradually lead to feeling drained.
3) The Faulty Thermostat: Maybe you have a very high "busy-ness" threshold. You can comfortably juggle a lot of activities, feel calm when everyone else is pulling their hair out, and function well on only a few hours of sleep-as long as you have your coffee. You might even be an adrenaline junky: you thrive on stressful situations. You haven't noticed, however, that you now need an extra cup of coffee to get going in the morning. You're also feeling more irritable.
It's possible that what was once normal for you has become toxic. Because your "stress thermostat" is set so high, however, it hasn't registered yet. Your idea of a stressor might be a natural disaster hitting your home. Anything less than that is "normal", so you keep handling it.
4) I'll Do it Syndrome: Is it tough for you to say no when someone asks you to do something? Maybe you believe the only way to get something done well is to do it yourself. Whether you're a people pleaser, control addict, or Superwoman wannabe taking responsibility for every project, errand, or chore could be the reason you're feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
Once you've become aware of what's pulling you out of balance, it's time to take action. Depending on your needs you might require assistance making changes. Supportive friends and family members are a good resource.
A life coach can help set priorities and take appropriate steps towards creating a balanced life. A therapist can also help, especially with identifying and addressing counterproductive behaviors and choices. If you feel depressed, emotionally distressed, or experience any symptoms that concern you, speak to your doctor or a mental health professional immediately.
Getting out of overwhelm might seem impossible, but it can be done. With a bit of self-awareness, setting clear priorities for your life, and making changes so all parts of your life work well together you can increase your life balance. Where do you want to start?
© 2011 Donna L. Hamilton, MD, MS

Donna L. Hamilton, MD, MS is a former board-certified pediatrician residing in Northeastern Pennsylvania. Currently, she is Chief Wellness Officer and co-owner of Manifest Excellence, LLC. Dr. Hamilton specializes in holistic wellness promotion and speaks nationally on this topic. Dr. Hamilton teaches a comprehensive approach to health and wellness by addressing mental, emotional, social, spiritual and physical well-being. For more information visit http://www.ManifestExcellence.com

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Tips for Filling an Emptiness in Your Life

 By Alicia Isaacs 

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Emptiness in your life is a symptom of something deeper. You may find that even though you're around a lot of people you may still experience feelings of being lost, emptiness and loneliness and can't figure out why nothing's giving you any deep satisfaction. And even though you love your partner and your children, something's still missing.
The emptiness you're feeling inside is a symptom of something deeper happening inside of you that needs to be resolved. Ignoring it or filling it with more stuff will not resolve it by itself.
Use the following 3 tips to help you get on track to filling the emptiness, the void inside of you.
Tip #1 - Get connected
The void you're feeling comes from the disconnection from the Universal Spirit. And just as a tree needs nutrients from the soil through its roots to sustain it otherwise it will begin to show signs of withering, so too, do we manifest feelings of emptiness when we are disconnected from the Spiritual Tree of Life and its roots.
If you're not spending time quietly being energized by the Spirit, you're missing out on vital spiritual life-giving nutrients that not only satisfies the deep longing of your heart and fills you but also penetrates all other areas of your life.
Tip #2 - Have a purpose for your life
Define a purpose for your life.
Why am I here?
What difference can I make in the time I'm here on earth?
What's the greatest impact can I make?
When you define your life with purpose you have a direction in which you're heading. Can you change this as time goes by? Yes of course, as you mature and come into more revelation of your existence.
Tip #3 - Get busy living life with clear meaning
Live every area of your life with your purpose in mind. What do I mean by that? Whether you are dealing with your children, your partner, your friends or someone you've just met, let your purpose shine through.
For example, If you define your purpose as helping others create the change they desire in their lives, then in everything you do and every person you meet you share from that purpose. Now, it's not that you're going to be always lecturing to someone. You can still share your purpose through a smile or by being a good listener because that may be all that the person needs at that moment.
As you do this, you'll find that you begin to feel more satisfied on the inside and this giving of yourself through your purpose creates a wave of overflowing joy in your life.

By the way, if you'd like to learn more simple yet effective ways to become self-empowered so you can change your life, I'd like to invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to Changing Inside Out Now! The Power of Unconditional Love and get additional practical life-changing tips and steps to change your life from the inside out when you visit http://www.changinginsideoutnow.com/ez1.
From: Alicia Isaacs - Changing Inside Out Now!

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How Do Successful Entrepreneurs Start?

 By Henri M Christophe 

Photo: ipeccoach.com/

If you have been tossed around, getting knocks, things not working for you or just want to start something new... You are in the right place. Forget about yesterday, last month or last year with all the disappointments; that is the past, let's together focus on the future.
Here you will discover what your teachers have not told you, you will discover the true meaning of education, if you are older you will wish you could have come across this site at the earlier age. If you are young.... this is one of the best discovery you will ever come across in your lifetime. Take it seriously please.
If you have been in education, you will agree with me that school has taught you many things but very few if any you had ever been exposed to the true meaning of education. Have you ever been taught to apply what you were learning in order to achieve a life filled with happiness, accomplishment, and success? Did anyone ever tell you about goal setting? What about Financial Intelligent? What about going through education so that you can have a business of your own rather than going through education with a mind of landing a job of your life (which quite often does not happen).
Why educational institutions do not teach to apply what you learn? Is it because Success is difficult? Do you ever wonder or think that may be these institutions are trying to help the weak ones who can not handle the burden of success? Think about it.
It does not matter where you come from, what you want to do, every one of us wants to achieve better in life. Some of us it is a distant dream, other it is possible routine, while others KNOW that they have achieved before they even achieve. So why causes some to be successful and others not to be successful when we are born the same. (born naked, we all learn to breathe, eat, crawl, take the first step, we learn to talk and continue to grow until we develop into different unique human beings). When do we change? When does our aspirations start to change or to fade?
The answer might be painful to some of us and hard to bear. The majority of us have absolutely no idea how to begin to make our dreams come true. The majority of u have skills, tools needed to make our dreams come true but it seems that we never reach or accomplish the dreams. Why is that? Like I mentioned above, being equiped with tools and skills is pointless if that equiped person has no knowledge of how to use the tools and skills possessed.
Not once - neither in primary school, secondary school, college, university were you ever instructed on the simple techniques of setting goals, of motivating yourself and others, of dealing with adversity, of eliminating self-defeating habits, of using time profitably, of practicing the power of choice, of developing self-confidence, of doing the things you are afraid to do, of generating enthusiasm at will, of organizing your life, of accumulating wealth, of getting people to give you what you want, of looking like a winner, of guiding your children, of handling stress, of counting your blessings... and so much more. Congratulation to you because you have managed to survive at all is a tribute to your courage and faith.
How Can One Begin the Journey of Entrepreneurship?
The beginning of entrepreneurship will be to define success. What is success? When do you feel you are successful? When do you feel you are not successful? The reason I am asking you these questions is because success can mean different things to different people.
When you are about to embark on the journey of entrepreneurship, you must make up your mind that you really know what success means to you before you take off. Probably you have heard of people who go after what they are seeking and only realize later on that they are missing certain aspect of their lives.
Personally I would like to define success in the categories. Your health and fitness, your wealth creation and your relationships with others. These are 3 main areas that you have concentrate on while pursuing your dreams. Most of the times people follow one out three and wonder why they are frustrated despite the success they have in that one part.
Entrepreneurs sometimes forget that health and relationship are important only to realize that when they have accumulated wealth but other part of their lives are not working. Therefore I will suggest that when you start to pursue your dream, you make sure that you have goals in all three aspect so that you don't overlook any part of life.
Entrepreneurship requires a different spirit. Forget what you have been taught in class The great myth that if you grow up... go to school and get your degree... find a job where you work for an employer - many times unrecognized as an individual - but work hard none-the-less... climbing the ladder to the top and put in thirty-plus years of hard work you can one day...possibly... own a home?... have a mediocre savings?... and.... retire?
The truth is that many of the individuals who follow down this path to success find themselves forced to come out of retirement and rejoin the workforce a few years later... often in a minimum wage job and having less freedom.
Yeah, it may be true that right now you're:
A student still wondering what you want to do with the rest of your life or what direction you will take
An employee that soars above the rest with grand ideas and visions that up to this point have put a lot of money in your employers pocket
A person that has a single idea... with a passion to bring a project to life... but you're struggling with how to start your business
The rebel that desires freedom... and money... and could never see yourself being tied down to an office cubicle
Someone with grand dreams and visions of how you would like to live your life... but you're held back by fear of failure
Quite often referred to as being "unemployable"
All the above people's categories are frustrated and need to break free. It is very hard and nearly impossible to believe that you can break loose by following education system, you have to find people who have walked the path. You have to find mentors who can direct you and educate you on what you have to do in order to become a successful entrepreneur.
Once you find someone or a couple of individuals who have gone through what you want to do, ask them to nurture you, follow their inputs, join your local business chambers, mastermind groups and eventually you will start to develop an entrepreneurship mind.
Recently there was a movie that was produced for people who want to become entrepreneurs. The producers realized that there is a great number of people like I mentioned above, who wanted to break free but did not know what to do. Therefore they decided to interview at least 35 successful young entrepreneurs who started from zero how they managed their businesses and become millionaires. These entrepreneurs revealed a lot and I believe that as you are about or have already embarked on the entrepreneur journey, you might benefit from what they were talking and discussing during the interviews.
Some of the issues they revealed are that:
The greatest enemy of achievement and how many entrepreneurs fall into this trap
Why ignoring your passion can backfire because you'll just get trapped in the JOB cycle
How to capitalize on existing ideas
The importance of perception and how to exploit it
How to jump from idea to market using a simple source of information
Why it is critical to exploit your mistakes
How the people you keep company with could be holding you back from success
Why if there's no risk... there's no return
How customers can finance your venture
Why you need to enter each venture with a heart of service
The key to dealing with people and why you should spend 90% of the time talking about them, not your pitch
What comes first...prospects...or capital?
How to start asking yourself the right questions to get the results you want
The truth about the law of attraction... and the missing step that you haven't been told
How to monetize your idea
What real failure is...and it's not a failed attempt
The reality of what you're really risking as an entrepreneur... The image in your head is a lot scarier than the facts
How to avoid launching a product...just to find out that nobody wants it
If you can understand the points above, there is no good reason why you can become a successful entrepreneur but there is a trap!!! No one can do this for you, it must be you and you alone. You have to take action regularly otherwise nothing can work out for you at all.

Henri M Christophe
Visit our site to find out more about what it takes to live a life of success. It is our aim and dream to reach out to many people who want to have a better life, who have dreams to accomplish and we believe that together we can make it happen.
http://www.successful-entrepreneurs.co.uk

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Focus On Your Strength

 By Robin Abrol 

Photo: http://api.ning.com

Last year I went to an NHL Ice Hockey match. I'm not a huge sports fan, but it was my son's birthday so I arranged this as a treat for him. We sat there together watching two teams battle it out on the ice, and as we did I began to realize something. These men are focusing on their areas of strength!
Then I began to think about the Winter Olympics which had happened earlier in the year. Thousands of the world's top athletes converged to demonstrate their skills to the world in various disciplines. Each man and woman had chosen to spend many hours a day, over many years, to reach this point. This could be the highlight of their career. And for those who took home medals, it certainly was.
These various sportsmen and sportswomen had learned to focus on their areas of strength. After many hours of practice, training, more practice, more training, and even more practice, they had become good enough to compete at an international level. But this is where it gets interesting.
The champion alpine skiers at the Olympics had practiced skiing. The speed skaters had practiced their favorite discipline - skating quickly. The bobsled team (of which I knew a member personally) had practiced bobsledding. I'm sure you get the point. Each of the athletes had worked on his or her area of strength. They had spent countless hours taking that strength and making themselves even better at it. They had employed coaches, mostly former Olympians, to help them hone their strengths and refine their skills.
So we know what the athletes did do with their time. Have you ever considered what they did not do? To put it rather bluntly, they did not spend their time on areas of weakness outside of their particular discipline. During all the news reports, press coverage and interviews, the athletes did not focus on their weaknesses. Members of the bobsled team did not concern themselves with the fact they are not good at skiing. The alpine skiers did not talk about their weaknesses in speed skating! These athletes had learned to concentrate on their areas of strength, and not worry about being weak in an unrelated discipline.
This is one of the challenges our Western societies currently face. We have fantastic school systems that give us an excellent all round education. We study Math, Science, Languages, Sports, Social, History, Geography, Music, Art, Drama, Computer Technology and so on. Out of the list of subjects we study, one or two will touch on our areas of strength, the others won't. However each teacher expects us to be great at his or her subject! So we work hard. We get an A in Music because that comes easy to us, but Science is much more of a challenge. So we spend a lot of extra time on Science just so we can pass the end of year exams with a C.
While I think it is good to work hard and build skills in different areas, I believe we've got some aspects of this wrong. If you are great at Music but are failing at Science, get a Music tutor and get even better at it! Certainly a Science tutor might help you pass, but they will never help you become as good in Science as you naturally are in Music. Whereas if you take your existing skill and work on it you will get better and better, and you will be having a lot more fun in life! You will become highly skilled and may end up being able to make a living based on something you love to do and are naturally gifted at.
If you spend a lot of time on your areas of weakness, you will just end up with a bunch of stronger weaknesses. But in the time it took you to build up your skills, you were ignoring your areas of strength. That is not a good thing!
Think about your working life for a moment. Does your job reflect something that you are naturally gifted at? When you are at work, are you spending at least 80% of your time in your areas of strength? If the answer to these questions is "no", you probably aren't enjoying your job all that much.
My challenge to everyone who would like to live the life of their dreams, is to begin identifying their areas of strength and weakness. There are probably lots of things you are okay at, a few things you are really good at, and a number of things you are totally useless at. Concentrate on those things you are really good at. Work on those areas of natural brilliance!
For me, I am a terrible handyman. It is a huge area of weakness for me. Any time I have performed little jobs around the house I got confused and managed to mess it up in some way. That usually resulted in extreme frustration and disappointment. Sometimes I even made the problem worse. If I was to rate my skill on a level of 1 to 10, I would definitely be a 1. Now I don't even try to do handyman jobs. I call up friends who are gifted at the use of tools and who love to share their skills to help out our family.
What I am gifted at is Public Speaking. When I give talks to various audiences, I come alive. I feel like I am doing what I was made for. I find it thrilling to get up and give a speech, whether it is to 15 people or to 500. I enjoy sharing some of the discoveries I have made in life, and people seem love to hear about them. In fact they tell me that their lives are changed because of the things I say. They may laugh or cry during my speeches, but they also experience some kind of transformation. They are left with thoughts that can change their world. They feel motivated and inspired. So not only do I love getting up there to talk to an audience, but they love it too.
If I was to rate my skill as a Public Speaker, I would probably be a 9 out of 10. But I want to be a 10 out of 10. So just like the athletes mentioned at the beginning of this article, I practice. I give speeches as often as I can. I take part in a speaker's club where I work through different exercises and projects in order to get better. I record almost all of my presentations on video or audio. I then go back and refine my speeches, my method of delivery, my voicing, my inflections, my body language and so on. I am passionate about getting better at it all the time.
So what is your 9 out of 10? What is your natural area of strength, the thing you love to do? A big part of life is discovering your natural talents, then taking responsibility for your life by choosing to grow in those areas. Those who do lead lives that are fulfilling because they have a sense of purpose. They know what they are good at and they can use their skills and talents for the benefits of others.
My challenge to you today is this. Think about your natural talents... the things you are gifted at. Work on your skills, and constantly pursue opportunities to become better at them. Whether it be Sports, Music, Speaking, Languages... the discipline itself doesn't matter. What matters is that you are great at it and you enjoy it. Then develop those gifts and realize your full potential!

Robin Abrol is a motivational speaker in Canada. Having achieved 4 major life dreams by the age of just 32, he now encourages people to find their purpose and live their dreams. His goal is to help you reach your maximum potential and fulfill your destiny. His speeches contain both practical and spiritual insights, and are designed to provide you with tools that will help you live a purposeful and meaningful life.
If you are unsure of your purpose in life, why not download Robin's free workbook, Finding Your Dream the content of which specifically relates to this article.

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How to Get More Confidence in Yourself?

 By Martin G King 

Photo: http://eap.com.au

Google "How to get more confidence in yourself" and you'll find hundreds of tips on how to go about it. However, most of these tips don't work very well. In this article I'll show you five proven ways to increase your self-esteem and become a more confident person. Here they are!
1. Achieve something
Successful people are usually more self-confident. Why is that so? Because they achieved something worthwhile and that gives them confidence that they are good at something.
Achievement builds self-esteem. Make your life interesting and set challenges on a regular basis. Can you become fluent in a new language in 6 months? Can you run a marathon? Can you write a novel? Is there anything that you've always wanted to do? Why not do it now?
Every success and new experience makes you a better person and gives you a confidence boost. What's more, pursuing your dreams helps you develop determination and discipline, both of which help you work on your confidence.
2. Have a passion or take up a sport
Develop a passion or take up a sport to make your life more interesting and as a result improve your self-confidence. Passionate people are usually more self-confident than people who don't have any passions.
When you're good at something, your self-esteem is high (you know that you're competent). And when you have a passion, you strive to be the best in it. That's why it's a great idea to have a hobby or take up a sport - it'll tremendously help you get more confidence in yourself.
3. Cut ties with people who put you down
Negative people have a negative impact on your life. Stop meeting with people who make you feel inferior to them. It destroys your self-confidence and poisons your life. It can be hard to cut ties with your old friends, but if they have a negative impact on you, there's no other way.
If you want to become a confident person, you have to start meeting more often with highly confident people who won't put you down. Don't mistake arrogance with confidence. True confidence is about making other people feel good, not inferior to you.
4. Travel abroad alone
Traveling alone to a foreign country (and dealing with culture shock, homesickness, loneliness etc.) will show you that you can endure a lot. And that will build your self-esteem. Step outside your comfort zone and take a trip to a foreign country - you won't regret it.
5. Smile
Start smiling (genuinely) more often. Smiling changes life. Positive people are happy and confident. If you constantly focus on bad things, you make your life negative and unhappy. It's impossible to be a confident person if you're unhappy. So... smile!
Now that you know these simple ideas on how to get more confidence in yourself, you can't say that you don't know what to do. You've found this article, learned something and now you're ready to take action. Don't disappoint yourself!

Bonus tip #6: visit How to Be Confident website to sign up for a free e-course on how to get rid of your shyness and become a confident man.

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Fear Of Criticism - 7 Steps To Beat It Once And For All

 By Robert N Jones 

Photo: secrets-2-success.com

Fear of criticism is like kryptonite to any budding sports star, business person, leader, or entrepreneur.
It has the capacity to drain a person's confidence and self-esteem easily, deterring them from ever-moving forward in life and achieving their most desired goals
Criticism can either be internal, through your inner voice, or externally through the opinions and views of other people.
Whatever the source, criticism can have serious ramifications to the person on the receiving end.
Some of the negative effects criticism has on individuals include:

1. Abandoning your dreams and goals, in preference to just being part of the crowd.
2. Playing it too safe by aspiring to achieve just the ordinary as opposed to aiming for the exceptional.
3. Being overly defensive when people of good and sound intentions offer constructive feedback and helpful advice.
4. Become introverted and hold back on giving your opinions or contributing new ideas in order to avoid criticism or rejection.

The fear of criticism is one of the most common fears that prevent people from achieving their goals.
Napoleon Hill, in his classic book "Think and Grow Rich" wrote:
"People refuse to take chances in business, because they fear the criticism which may follow if they fail. The fear of criticism, in such cases, is stronger than the DESIRE for success."
Can you relate to this?
Has the fear of criticism been your insurmountable barrier to achieving the success and life you want?
If so, here are 7 steps you can take to help you overcome this fear:
1. Forget Perfection- Aiming for perfection is impossible, unrealistic. Instead aim for being the best you can be at that particular time.
2. Change Your Inner Chat- As I've mentioned earlier, a source much of the criticism often comes from ourselves. Make a conscious effort to erase our negative inner dialogue and replace it with one that's more positive, encouraging and uplifting.
3. Avoid Procrastinating. Procrastinating is a very common problem when we have a fear of something. Procrastinating ultimately means you are wasting valuable time in realizing your goals. The time you have wasted has gone forever.
There will never be a PERFECT time to go after what you want.
There is no time like the present.
The best time is NOW.
4. Consider Worst Case Scenarios- Look the fear in the face and start thinking of the worst things that can happen if you get a little criticism. Will it kill you? Probably not. Will you live? Probably yes. So try to focus on all the positives of overcoming this fear and finally realizing and fulfilling your goals. Think of how much better and wonderful your life will be when you accomplish all what you've set out to achieve
5. Maintain Your Focus. The fear of criticism can cause you to abandon your dreams which consequently results in failure.
Constructive feedback and helpful advice from people you trust and value should be taken on board, but be aware of people who's motives are purely to scupper your plans. The negative thoughts and opinions of your detractors should be ignored and your focus should just be on the end goal.
6. Never Quit.- Don't be so influenced by the negative opinions and criticisms of others that it causes you to quit on your dreams.
If you quit, that little voice saying 'what if" will gnaw away at you for many, many years to come. Once you quit you'll NEVER have a chance to win.
Remember this saying by Napoleon Hill: "A quitter never wins and a winner never quits."
7. Self- Confidence- Having confidence in yourself and your abilities is key to achieving success. Exude confidence and a determination to pursue and accomplish your goals regardless of what people say or think.
Whatever walk of life you're in, you're always going to subject to criticism. Criticism is one of the basic tendencies of human nature.
I've been the subject of criticism all through my life, but what I've learned to understand is that if people are criticizing you, it almost never about you, but more about them.
I believe these people feel threatened and intimidated that you have more courage than them to stand out a little and aspire to reach your goals and improve your life.
Your time is now. Use the steps above to overcome and banish the fear of criticism forever so that your true infinite potential can finally be unleashed to the world.

Fear of criticism is problem that many people find difficult to overcome. It's also an insurmountable barrier that stops many people from realizing their true potential. Learn the steps to overcome this fear so that you can move forward in life and finally achieve your most desired goals.

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Is There a Reward for Righteous Living?

 By Michael G A Brown 

Photo: anewthingministries.com

What things would you change
If you have made great effort to live a life where you try to be kind and helpful to other people, but you do not always get thanks, I have good news. You may be doing good and it may often feel that you are not appreciated, but do not despair. Continue to do the best you can do, one day you will see the fruits of your labor. One point I would add is that you should continue to improve yourself, and study to improve your abilities. Use every negative experience as a lesson, decide to learn lessons, and be positive and build on your successes. Imagine that you were being watched every moment of the day, and every action that you made was being recorded. What things would you change, about your attitude, and the quality of work that you do? What if you were going to receive a great reward for every genuine smile that you gave. What if you would be greatly rewarded for the sincere acts of good that you committed. What things would you start to do differently, and how would you change your life?
The Power To Change Your Life
Could it be said that you hold the key to the power to change your life? Indeed if someone could prove to you that you had the power to live a different life, than you are living now would you be interested? What if this life is just a test run for a life which could be much better, but depending on your actions during this life, would you have a different outlook on life? What if you where to receive the equivalent of a million dollars for every person that you forgave, how would you react? Imagine you could write down your perfect day, and write down the life you want to live, what would you write? If you had the power to re-create the world, how would you re-design it? Why not do that as an exercise, and write down these things, and see the power you may receive by writing down these plans.
The Power Of Conscious Choice
If you consider every person on the planet, you will notice something that we all have. Indeed you will find that you have something that could have the power to change and even transform your life. You have something that could potentially change many areas of your life and the way that you live. So what is this thing that you have that can bring great changes to your life? And what is this power that can transform your life? Well this power may be more simple than you think, and it could be much easier than it may appear. Well the power is the power to choose, yes it is the power to make conscious choices. You have the power to make choices in your life, you have the power to decide what you will choose from moment to moment. You are the director of your life, you are the ruler of your actions.
Conclusion
Could it be a fact that you have the power to change your life by the decisions that you make, and would it be useful to write down the main things that you desire in life, and a plan to achieve it. Do you believe that you have the power to make conscious choices. What do you think - Thoughts To Make You Think.
M G A Brown (c) 12 November 2011

MGA Brown is the Author of "Thoughts To Make You Think"
To find out how you can benefit go to http://www.toolsofsuccess.co.uk/

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Confidence Building Techniques

 By Martin G King 

Photo: selfempowermentsecrets.com

Looking for some confidence building techniques? If so, you are in the right spot! In this article I'll show you three ways of improving your self-confidence. Here they are!
1. Imitation
The easiest way to learn something new is to imitate someone who knows how to do it. It's the same with improving your self-confidence.
Spend more time with very confident people, observe them and imitate them. Don't get me wrong though - I'm not talking about being a fake person. Do things that make these people appear self-confident, but only if they are compatible with your personality.
For home practice you can watch movies with confident people such as James Bond movies. You can learn a lot from movies - given that you'll observe the actors really carefully.
2. Fight with your insecurities step by step
Another confidence building technique is to get rid of your insecurities step by step. Make a list of your weak points - things that make you feel shy. Analyze all of these things and start a challenge - do these things as often as possible. The more often you do things that make you feel uncomfortable, the more quickly you'll get used to them.
Remember that every time you avoid doing something that's uncomfortable for you, you're losing the opportunity to get rid of another insecurity. Face your fears head on!
3. Self-improvement
Instead of concentrating on your weak points, you can concentrate on improving yourself. So, instead of writing down things that make you shy, you can make a list of traits that you want to develop in yourself (traits that will make you a confident person). As Chuck Palahniuk said, "if you don't know what you want, you end up with a lot you don't".
Now that you know what you want to achieve, create a plan. If you want to be a good speaker, join local Toastmasters group. If you want to feel comfortable with women, spend more time around them. If you want to become more courageous, take up an extreme sport. Try to be the best version of yourself and your confidence will improve along the way.
Keep in mind that in order to become a confident person you have to have a lot of determination. You won't become confident within a few days, but it'll definitely happen within a few months if you keep working on yourself every single day. Now that you know these confidence building techniques, it's time to take action!

Bonus tip: visit How to Be Confident website to sign up for a free e-course on how to get rid of your shyness and become a confident man.

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Expect The Best and Prepare For The Worst

By Tim Connor  

Photo: 123rf.com

No one knows when adversity will strike - their career, a relationship, your health, finances or just life in general. The death of a loved one, an illness that you never thought would impact you or a financial crisis that you never saw coming. Everyone wants the best to happen in their life and if they had a choice, I'm sure most people would like to avoid adversity, difficulties and the fear of uncertainty, if they could. The best way to go through life is to always deal in reality, stay in the present moment, expect the best but always prepare for the worst.
There is a wide body of evidence over the past 100 years from a mixed variety of resources that all agree that there are nine areas that impact a person's life and its outcomes whether positive, negative or neutral;
-Expectations
-Life outlook
-Resolve
-Overcoming fear
-Resilience
-Degree of optimism or realism
-Showing appreciation
-Managing your stress
-Preparation
Let's take a look at these in more detail.
-Expectations
One of the biggest causes of frustration and disappointment in life is the unrealized expectations life's outcomes. Why won't my: kids, spouse, employees, friends and so on, act the way I think they should? They never will, so relax and let it go.
The execution of all behavior by others is in their hands, not yours. I am not implying here that you should never have expectations. I am only saying that if you want to spend a lot of time and energy being disappointed, expect others and life to do - whatever you want or need!! Sooner or later everyone - yes, everyone in life - will let you down. That includes friends, parents, spouses, kids, bosses and customers.
To manage your expectations means that you understand that - life happens - period. We are all learning every day, either by accident, design, or on purpose, but we are all learning what life wants us to learn now.
-Resilience
One of the critical skills for ongoing success is the ability to bounce back from adversity. Sooner or later in life, everyone experiences failure, disappointment, and setbacks, or loses the desire or purpose to keep on keeping on.
Just because you have failed, doesn't mean you are a failure. Just because you have achieved success, that doesn't make you a success. Many people have hit bottom, only to climb out and achieve greatness later in life, and many people have done great things easily or early in life only to end up broke, alone and without any lasting feeling of accomplishment.
There has to be more to life than having everything, knowing everything and doing everything. There is, but its value will often be lost to you while you are in this relentless search for more. Resilience is not just about attracting and accumulating outside-in stuff, but gaining in inside-out wisdom, understanding, compassion, trust and patience.
-Overcoming fear
Fear does strange things to many people. It causes them stress, anxiety, frustration, anger and uncertainty, and often immobilizes them against any action - rational or otherwise. Fear restricts blood flow, limits our vision, raises our blood pressure, and prevents clear thinking.
Fear - healthy fear - is a positive attribute in the right places and at the right times. It can prevent us from taking foolish and often life-threatening actions, and it can heighten our awareness that something is wrong or needs our attention. What is your typical reaction to those events, circumstances or people that bring fear into your consciousness? Do you run and hide? Confront it or them? Go into denial? Ignore it? Procrastinate on an action that will quickly eliminate the cause of your fear?
Years ago, I read a line that I have often forgotten when I needed it the most - when you confront your fears, you will overcome them. When you ignore that which you are afraid of, it will haunt your mind, body and life like a relentless villain.
Fear can be a positive emotion. But for most people, it stands between them and the fulfillment of their dreams. Refuse to let this character rule your life. Do something, anything. Take action. Do it now. Don't give fear a foothold in your life and your thoughts.
-Resolve
What is resolve? Is it persistence, commitment, dogged determination or just plain old self-motivation? Don't have an answer to that folks. I do know however, that it costs more to fail than to keep on keeping on. There is a point in every relationship, career, project or goal where our resolve to go on is tested. Winners realize that they have to break through this barrier before they can enjoy the real fruits of their labor. Quitters, on the other hand, give up at the first sign of resistance or adversity.
-Degree of optimism or realism
Years ago, Lionel Tiger wrote a book called: Optimism, the Biology of Hope. In it, Tiger puts forward the premise, after a great deal of research, that people who are optimistic tend to live longer and get sick less often than people who are pessimistic and negative. So in the middle we have realistic. What is realistic? No one knows. If you would have told an Emerson, Bell or numerous others that what they were experimenting with was unrealistic they would all have had to agree with you. So why did they continue the relentless pursuit of something new in the face of uncertain outcomes, constant discouragement, tremendous skepticism and public scorn? Because they didn't know what couldn't be done. They didn't know what was impossible. They kept at it not because they knew for certain that their efforts would sooner or later pay off, they kept at it because of their tremendous optimism. If they had been realistic, it could have been years later before we had a telephone or electricity.
Have you ever attempted something that you believed in for no obvious reason? What did people around you say? Be realistic. It can't be done. No one has ever done it.
In my opinion, being realistic is just another form of being negative. Who knows what isn't possible? No one. The only way we determine what is or isn't possible is to try. Problem is, many people give up just when they are on the verge of success. So their reaction is "I guess you were right, it is impossible. I was being unrealistic."
-Managing your stress
Are you slowly killing yourself? If you have never read an article about stress, you have probably just landed here from some distant planet. I will also wager, that if you are an employee, employer, parent, spouse, student, retired working - on and on - you know the symptoms of stress. You may not however be totally aware of the causes and how you are contributing to this deadly killer.
Each of us daily, even hourly, must confront people, circumstances and issues that bring with them a great potential for stress however we cannot stick our head in the sand and ask the world to go away. We must deal in the hectic, fast-paced, ever-changing world of business and relationships. And we must survive as well as we can as we go about these daily routines. Most of us create our own stress and our stress reactions. We do so in a variety of ways.
But most of all, we fail to keep any or all of these in perspective as we move through the moments and days of our life. So why do we do this to ourselves? And we do it to ourselves. No one does it to us.
We do it in the name of; success, financial gain, profit, competition, winning, better, bigger, sexier, younger, wiser, more and more and more. And in the long run, we end up with less. Less satisfying relationships, poor health, less fun, less happiness and less pure joy of living. We miss a friend's smile. We long for a peaceful day.
We cheat ourselves of the simple things of life that money cannot buy. Life is not perfect. Relationships are not perfect. Business is never perfect. People are not machines. Life is to be lived one joyous minute at a time. Stress keeps you locked in the future or the past and out of the present. Stress, in my opinion, is the single greatest threat to happiness, joy and a truly rewarding life. I hope I have your attention. If you are under stress, you don't need me to tell you. Your body is doing an excellent job of telling you this very minute. You are either ignoring the signals or overriding them with drugs, pills or stimulants of some kind.
-Life outlook
Life outlook is everything when it comes to both the highs and lows of life. Life outlook says, "I can handle this, it's no big deal, things will work out, I'm better than what I am facing, I can overcome." Or it says, "I'm doomed, I'm not worthy, I'm going to crash and burn; things always turn out badly for me."
Life outlook is the result of a variety of experiences, early conditioning, self-esteem and mindsets that are developed over the years.
If you want to prevent a variety of future valleys or at least their impact on your life, it would be wise to do a "Life Outlook" audit. By this I mean, spend some time reflecting on your past experiences and your reactions to them. You might also want to ask some of the people close to you a simple question, "How would you describe my life outlook?"
-Showing appreciation
The number one reason why people fail to overcome difficult times and challenges is they fail to show appreciation for what they have and stay focused in what is missing in their life. There is conclusive evidence that people who can keep a mindset of appreciation have less trouble handling adversity than those who are always whining, complaining or staying stuck in a victim mentality.
-Preparation
It's been said that luck is nothing more than preparation meeting opportunity. So what is proper preparation? There are three areas; attitudes, activities and decisions. Proper preparation in your attitudes is to deal both in reality and what you can control. It makes no sense to fret over those things you can't control - wasted time, energy and effort. Worry is a killer and most people spend more time worrying about things they can't control than focusing on actions and behaviors in those things they can control.
Preparation in activities is simply using common sense, a practical life outlook and blending past lessons with future plans and goals then operating in your now moments with confidence and poise.
Preparation in decision making is all about learning from the past - it's mistakes, failures, wrong judgments and errors and learning from them. It's about not trying to just make right decisions but focusing on making the decisions made to turn out correctly. Wrong decisions can turn our well and right decisions can often turn out badly. The key to effective preparation is to be fully aware of your personal blind spots, prejudiced agendas and mindsets and personal beliefs that are not grounded in reality. Once you have accomplished this you are now ready to make better decisions, create sound plans of action and create the steps necessary to achieve your desired outcomes.
Let me close with a few questions;
What are your mindsets when it comes to these six vital life outlooks?
Are they creating inner peace. happiness and success?
Do you need to improve or change your approaches or attitudes in any of the above?
If yes, are you willing to do so?
If yes, when are you going to start and what are you going to do?

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 4000 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 70 books including; Soft Sell, That's Life, SOLD, 81 Challenges Managers Face and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his websites at http://www.timconnor.com.

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