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Monday, December 17, 2012

What Is Self Confidence and Why Do Only Some Have It?


The socio-psychological concept of self-confidence relates to self-assuredness in one's personal judgment, ability and power. WHAT! I"m sorry, all I got from that was blah blah blah blah.
Confidence or Self-Confidence are intertwined concepts - put simply, it's just being really comfortable with who you are.
Building confidence is a necessary exercise for many of us. Self-confidence does not come naturally to people at all. It's either something our parents nurtured us to accept as a natural part of ourselves when we were growing up or it's something our Rock Star mentors who we absolutely adored demonstrated, or it's something we worked really hard to develop as an adult. Particularly when we were old enough and smart enough to realise it was just getting to a point of becoming that person we really wanted to be. If you like, the best of who we are more often and really comfortable with that person.
We're all dealt different hands in this life and the hand you were dealt fits into the 'so what' basket, because all that matters is what you do with the hand you have. Like Kenny Rogers said "You've gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away and know when to run!" People who are already confident certainly know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away and know when to run. There are some massive lessons to be learnt there so let's dissect this a little and have a bit of fun with the words from this song.
"Know When to Hold Em'"
Learning to stand your ground and speaking up for yourself when it matters to you is a really good start to building your own level of confidence, but you must learn how to do this in a way that gets your message across clearly to the other person without being abusive.
"Know When to Fold Em'"
With confidence comes the ability to know when to 'let it go'. Self assured or self confident people don't need to be right all the time and in fact they may give the grace of being right to another person even when they're not right! Why? Because self confident people don't need to be right, to feel right. That's the bottom line.
"Know When to Walk Away & Know When to Run"
Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation (i.e an abusive relationship) or simply just a relationship that we know we're not happy in. This is absolutely one of the greatest tests I have seen in terms of a persons true level of self-confidence. To be truly confident you must not only know when to walk away, but sometimes, absolutely know when to run! And there is certainly a whole other topic in that last sentence which we will leave for another time, because I'm sure you get the sentiment of the key message here.
Lastly, I just want you to remember that the confident person/s that you've seen, met or admired were not given additional credits at birth that you missed out on but they have developed it during their lifetime in one way or another. And if he or she can do it, so can you. No one particular person in this world is special, but we are all unique and absolutely all a bunch of SexyBastards that's for sure. If ever you're doubting your individual appeal or attractiveness... don't.
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