The Best Way to Solve Your Problems

 By Susan Leigh

Photo: 3.bp.blogspot.com

Problems can at times seem to overwhelm us. When we start to feel stressed and losing control it can become very difficult to see the good and positive around us. We can start to feel that everything is going wrong in our lives. There can appear to be no end in sight to the problems.

Let's look at some of the areas where problems can arise:

- Families can be areas of disagreement. In-laws, children, different agendas can cause people to disagree because of conflicting priorities. Regular communication and honest negotiation are often required otherwise these situations can become a battle of wills. It is often best if a couple can discuss and agree their thoughts in private, then afterwards present a united front.

- Work is often a demanding part of life. Many people are trying to impress their boss, keep their business afloat, improve their career position, try to stay solvent. Finding a balance between work and the other areas of life can be difficult to engineer.

- Money is often a large part of the problem as everyone is looking to spend less, reduce overheads, get a better deal. And yet society is very consumer focussed with new technology and markets regularly being developed. More things are now regarded as essential. Things get replaced not repaired. More money is required to sustain the lifestyle.

Let us start to look at the best way to solve your problems:

- Be proactive. Saying or doing something about it is often the best way to start dealing with a problem. It can be tempting to try to forget things that seem to difficult to handle, but doing that often means that they start to become more urgent over time. And leaving things often means that other, new problems may arise that also need attending to. The problems can compound into several things that cannot be ignored.

- Take control and write a list. Brainstorm and write down everything that you regard as a problem. Often when you later look at the list you realise that many of the items are outside of your control. There is no point in worrying about things that you can do nothing about. Other items may read as trivial or a lot less important when they're committed to paper and out of your head.

- Prioritize. Not everything needs sorting today. Once everything is listed it is easier to decide which things are urgent, which things can be started work on and then left with someone else and which things can be put to one side for the time being. Prioritising starts to put things into perspective.

- Do what you can and move on. Sometimes it can be helpful to start work on a problem and then pass it on to someone else. Outside help may be required in dealing with it. Passing something on allows you to relax and forget about it for a time. It is in hand. Keep good quality notes then you can still feel in control and be able to see where you're up to in each situation.

- Ask for help. Use your network of contacts. Even if you're struggling in an area of specialised expertise it's often amazing to discover who can help. People in your individual circle of contacts may be able to recommend experts in many areas of knowledge.

- Schedule in some fun. It is important that as the stress of problems increases there is an occasional interlude for personal time. Finding some space away from the stress is an important way to recharge your batteries so that you can continue again another time. Maintaining your health is an important part of the commitment to solve your problems.

Problems happen as part of life. The skill is in developing an effective coping strategy. Keeping control of personal health, stress levels and your life means dealing with things in a balanced, positive way. This is the best way to solve your problems.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with
- stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief,
- couples in crisis to help improve communications and understanding
- with business clients to help support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams

For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

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Why You Cannot Be Motivated?

 By Sajeev Nair

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Entrepreneurs come across with many questions in their mind like, "I don't know how to have the self drive all the time?" "How to keep myself motivated?" "When I face challenges, how do I move forward?" etc.

I have done countless motivational sessions covering lakhs of people and have authored many motivational books, as its my passion. After those sessions I have received glorious feedback about the session, "this was an unbelievable session," "I am totally charged up," "Your session has changed my life," "What a magical spell," etc. But the sad thing is that only very few ever make a significant transformation in their lives after attending the session. The rest of them forget about in two to three weeks time. I have heard and read so many trainers and authors making claims like, "all those who have attended my sessions have changed their life in a massive positive way," "all those who have read my books have taken a 180 Degree turn in their lives and have started moving toward success." I am sorry to state that I don't believe in these kinds of statements.

I don't think any speaker can motivate his audience to take some strong decisions and move on to become successful; no author can motivate his/her readers to take a life changing decision and move towards massive success in life. At the same time I am not making a statement that all trainers and authors are ineffective. I still believe that the motivational trainers and authors are helping millions of people to change their life in a positive direction. I, myself, am a typical example. Whatever I have achieved in my life during the last 10 years, I owe it to the training programs I have attended and the books I have read.

Even I get so many strong positive feedbacks on these articles like, "these articles have opened my eyes," "I now have a whole new perspective towards life," I am getting better results in life as my attitude towards people have changed after reading your columns," etc. These trainers and authors are definitely helping lot of people to change their course of travel and achieve better results in life. My point is, not every one makes those positive changes in their life after reading a book or reading such articles or after attending motivational training from a motivational speaker. Had it been solely the effectiveness of the trainer or the author everyone should have made significant positive results in their lives. That means, how good a trainer are you? how good an author are you? you cannot motivate everyone!

Why is it so? The basic rule I believe in is, "Nobody can motivate anybody." Why? Because, motivation is internal. It is within. It has to come from within. A motivational trainer or author only can inspire others to get motivated. They cannot get into peoples mind and work. In short, an affective trainer or author can only inspire others to get motivated. But only very few ever get motivated. Do you know why? Do you have any idea who may be the people who get motivated?

The Motivation is formed from the word 'MOTIVE'. Motive means aim, goal, your intention in life. Hence motivated means driven towards a motive. If there is no motive there is no motivation. And that no one can build or create a motive for you. Hence you need to find what is your 'motive', what do you want to accomplish in your life, in which way do you want your life to be designed, what is your intention in life.

You can check: http://www.sajeevnair.com

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It's OK to Quit

 By Dan Gabbert

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How old where you when you realized that quitting is a bad thing? Kids taunt one another with that derogatory word - Quitter! Parents tell their kids not to quit; that they can't quit if they've committed to something. I've been guilty of it. But, is it OK to quit? Or, better yet, when is it OK to quit?

There's a Turkish proverb that I recently read: "No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back." Have you travelled down the wrong road? Have you stuck to your guns, persevered, made it work, or gutted it out? Was it miserable?

I'm sure you know someone who spent a lot of time and energy trying to make a marriage work, only to finally throw in the towel. I know many people (on both sides of a divorce) who say they hung on too long, tried too hard, knew it wasn't the right thing. They made a commitment and they stuck with it. Couldn't quit. Stayed miserable.

I'm not advocating divorce, or giving up too soon. But realistically, sometimes you just know you're down the wrong road and, no matter how far you've traveled, it's time to turn back.

Investors in businesses will sometimes talk about "throwing good money after bad". They're too far down a road (big investment) and keep throwing more money at it in hopes it will work out. When they know it probably won't, the best option is to stop wasting money! Quit.

Have you ever committed to something - a committee, an organization, a neighborhood task or duty, etc. - only to realize that it was not at all what you thought it would be? You're not enjoying it, or maybe you loathe it. But you're not a quitter so you keep plodding along, dreading each meeting. Yuck!

When you say "yes" to something you don't enjoy, you're saying "no" to everything else. That's "no" to family, working out, friends, reading, mowing the grass, napping - everything else! That's time you'll never get back. Why be miserable when you know it's just not right for you?

Another amazing thing about staying with something when you're not committed: You won't be giving your best and others will know it. Rather than pretend, come clean. State your case and find a way to either get committed, or get out. It's best for you and for the rest of the group - as well as the committed person who will follow you! Step aside, do what you want to do and let someone else have your spot. Everyone ends up a winner!

Check some of the roads you're traveling. No matter how far you've gone if it's not the right road for you, turn back. You quitter!

With over 20 successful years in corporate America, Dan Gabbert is now living his passion through helping others find and live theirs! Dan is a personal coach working with a wide range of clients' issues through helping them change their thoughts and actions about their worlds - both personally and professionally.

Dan works one-on-one - via phone and face-to-face - and with MasterMind Groups. Through Couples Coaching Dan helps clients communicate better, find the love they want, and create relationships of significance.

Contact Dan at (816) 525-9219 or dan@kclifecoaches.com to determine if coaching is right for you. http://www.kclifecoaches.com

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Social Rejection: How To Deal With It In 3 Simple Steps

 By Michael Lee

Photo: 4.bp.blogspot.com

Social rejection is a more serious problem than it appears to be. Sometimes, in our lives, we might feel like outcasts...

We might feel like we're not from this world. We might feel like loners without friends to support us, or strangers who have been shunned by the whole world. We might feel that we don't fit in. If you feel this way, don't worry!

Many people also tend to feel like this, although a good majority of them fail to solve this problem by themselves. It is very important to know how to deal with social rejection, as this will greatly affect your life later on.

Below are a few guidelines to follow if you want to know how to handle social rejection.

Step 1: Is It Me?

First, know what makes people reject you. Ask yourself: "What am I doing that irritates others?"

Check every single inch of your attitude and behavior; the smallest thing can upset people. From top to bottom, from inside out, you mustn't miss even one small detail of you, so think hard.

Step 2: Commit To Change.

Change whatever it is that you think irritates people. Is it that you are too talkative? Maybe you act very childish? Do you overreact? Or is it because you are too boastful of your skills?

Some people tend to be really picky about their friend's attitudes. One small thing can make you and another, friends or enemies. Try your best to change your ways. The small sacrifices you make will pay off largely very soon and social rejection will be a thing of the past.

Step 3: Keep Moving Forward.

Next, you must tell yourself that you can do this. Some people tend to feel too bad about themselves so much, that they think everything they do is wrong.

What you should do is to believe that you can change, to believe in yourself that you will be accepted if you change your ways.

This is a very important step in dealing with social rejection. Changing your attitude might take a while, and it might take a lot of determination. Whenever you feel that you cannot do it, always remember what good the result of this will bring to you.

These three simple things are the most essential things to take note of when dealing with social rejection, but there is one more thing you must remember...

While you may try your very best to be sociable to other people, bear in mind that you cannot please everybody; so when a single person shuns you, you must get a hold of yourself and learn to let it go.

Just follow the three steps above, and you will be able to handle social rejection effectively.

Discover secret conversational hypnosis techniques to easily talk to anyone and enjoy a happy social life! Get a FREE course that reveals some of the most groundbreaking communication and persuasion secrets at http://www.20daypersuasion.com/secrets.htm

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Why You Should Ask Why

 By Guy Blews

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When you were a child, you garnered information by asking WHY?

Unfortunately, most of the answers were either misleading or misguided - designed to shut you up quickly.

In adulthood, it seems that we no longer ask WHY - and that is WHY we are either misled, or miseducated. Or both.

I encourage you to ask WHY:

WHY is marriage so important?

WHY are we trying to appease our parents?

WHY is our religion better than someone else's?

WHY do we accept the lies and excuses again and again - to ourselves, and from others?

WHY don't we make up your own opinions from what we really see?

WHY do you get so upset when I challenge your miseducation?

Simple enough questions that usually elicit ridiculous and convoluted answers...

If you ask WHY, then you have to find an answer that makes sense, otherwise you will ask WHY again.

If you don't ask WHY, then you simply accept what you were told and you are a fool.

If the answer to the WHY is weak, then your gut instinct will tell you that it is a lie...

And you should always listen to your gut instinct.

WHY is a word that should be uppermost in your mind -

- WHY is marriage important?

Answer: Because we are bred to be weak and needy and controlling and jealous...

If there was any love, trust and belief in marriage then there would be no need for marriage in the first place.

- WHY are we trying to appease our parents?

Answer: Because you are afraid to stand up for yourself and be an individual even when their example is flawed...

F.E.A.R - False Evidence Appearing Real.

- WHY is our religion better than anyone else's?

Answer: Because you were told it was and you refuse to be objective - the truth is that all religion is a lie, based on power and greed.

According to Christianity, Gandhi is in Hell even though he was a peaceful, giving man. According to Judaism, you should not marry outside the tribe otherwise your children are mongrels. According to Islam, anyone who is not a Muslim is an infidel.

- WHY do we accept the lies and excuses again and again - to ourselves, and from others?

Answer: Because it is easier to be weak and dishonest than to be disciplined and truthful.

- WHY don't we make up your own opinions from what we really see?

Answer: Because standing up for your own opinion is far more difficult than accepting the miseducation.

It is easy to understand the truth, not so easy to enact it...

- WHY do you get so upset when I challenge your miseducation?

Answer: Because then you actually have to think about the bad decisions you have made and the ridiculous things you believe in.

The Truth Hurts - But It's Still True

Ask WHY.

Find answer that makes sense, not just an excuse that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Guy Blews

Guy Blews is a Relationship Expert and Certified Life Coach who offers One-On-One Coaching. He is the author of 'Marriage & How To Avoid It', 'Realistic Relationships' and 'Less Thing$ More Love' which are all available at his website. Guy has appeared on numerous television and radio shows in the USA and the UK as either a visionary or a pariah - now it's your turn to make an opinion at http://www.RealisticRelationships.com.

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Common Mistakes People Make in Trying to Handle Stress

 By Jenny C Evans

Photo: getentrepreneurial.com

As a speaker and performance coach who travels the globe training corporate executives on how to be more resilient to stress, I see and hear a lot of common misconceptions when it comes to some of the best ways to handle stress.

Mistake #1: Thinking stress is only in our heads. A lot of us may think of stress as something we feel - it's mental, emotional or psychological. What we may forget or not even realize is that stress is also a physiological and chemical event that changes the chemistry of our bodies. Hormones are released that set off a cascade of physical adaptations which are designed to get us to respond to stress in the most meaningful way possible: physically. The stress response is specifically intended for fighting or fleeing - very physical events. Unfortunately, the nature of our technologically advanced, labor saving, sedentary environments don't allow for many intense physical events to happen to burn off these stress hormones. The stress hormones continue to circulate throughout the body and can lead to weight gain, insomnia, reduced cognitive function, and lowered immunity.

Remedy: By getting short bursts of physical activity on a regular basis we're mimicking the fight of flight response, which is how our bodies are designed to respond to stress. Cardiovascular interval training (short periods of intense work followed by short periods of recovery) burns off the stress hormones and releases hormones like endorphins and endocannabinoids, which make us feel good and restore balance.

Mistake #2: Cutting exercise from our schedules when things get crazy. When the demands of our lives increase, we look for things to cut out to reduce the level of our stress. Often times, exercise is the first to go. Based on what we just talked about in mistake #1, it's one of the worst coping strategies we can make. We're not burning off the stress hormones and restoring balance.

Remedy: The more your stress goes up, the more you need to exercise. I know you may be thinking that keeping or adding workouts may increase your level of stress, but stress is a physical event that needs to be remedied physically. Understand that exercise does not have to take an hour or 30 minutes - even a few minutes of intense cardiovascular interval training will give you benefits. Interval training is also one of the most effective and efficient ways of improving your fitness, as well as burning fat and calories. Another option is to break up your workouts into smaller bouts. Squeeze in 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes later in the day. Research shows it's just as effective as one longer workout.

Mistake #3: Thinking stress is a bad thing. We've all been told to reduce or minimize the stress in our lives. To an extent this is true in that extreme amounts of stress or chronic levels can be very harmful. However, if we took all the stress away we would become weak, our bodies would atrophy, and we wouldn't be able to withstand much. Stress is a good thing as long as it's at the right intensity and we get periods of recovery.

Remedy: Embrace it and then find moments of recovery. Strategically exposing the body to greater levels of stress than we're used to is how we increase fitness and strength. Over time we run faster or further. We gradually lift more weight. Our "rest days" between workouts are when the body actually adapts and grows stronger. During a crazy day a moment of recovery might be a minute of deep breathing, eating a healthy snack, or a few light stretches.

Mistake #4: Inadvertently adding stress to our bodies. What foods we eat, not eating enough, or eating too much can add a tremendous amount of stress on the body. When we're stressed out we may reach for a cocktail, chocolate, a #4 with cheese, a cigarette, or - God forbid - all four. In reality, large amounts of alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, sugar, and dietary fat can all stimulate the stress response. Going too long without eating (generally 3-4 hours) stimulates the stress response. Eating too much also adds stress.

Remedy: Eat a moderate meal or small snack about every 3 hours, all day long. Every meal should contain a low fat source of protein, whole grains, and fresh fruits and/or vegetables. Choose snacks that are low glycemic (containing more fiber, protein and/or fat). Keep alcohol, caffeine and nicotine to a minimum, and drink plenty of water.

These simple strategies can go a long way in training your body and mind to be more resilient, which improves your performance on the job as well as in your personal life.

Jenny Evans, founder of Powerhouse Performance Coaching, helps businesses increase productivity, performance and resiliency -- all while decreasing health-related costs. Visit http://www.powerhouseperformancecoaching.com for more information and additional articles.

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How Can We Improve Our Memory? By Using 3 Proven Techniques

 By A Matthews

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Today I'm going to give you 3 different ways to work on improving your memory. All these tools I would highly recommend to anyone who is looking to improve their memory.

Step one

Improving your memory with concentration

Concentration is the simplest and easiest way to immediately start improving your memory. Many people overlook this as they feel they concentrate the whole day. The reality is many of us live in a fast paced world and rarely take the time to actually give ourselves eight seconds to concentrate and remember something.

When you need to remember something, give yourself at least eight seconds to absorb what it is you need to remember.

One of the most common mistakes in every household is somebody losing their keys in their own house. What you have to do is make a conscious decisions on where you place things and what things you need to remember. Be conscious and give yourself eight seconds of concentration when you put your keys down. By simply allowing yourself to concentrate on the task at hand you'll see a vast improvement in your memory straight away.

Step two

Using Mnemonics

Memory mnemonics are basically the tools of the trade to remember. There are a variety of techniques that one can use to help improve one's memory. One I like to do is to try the different techniques out and choose the ones that I feel complement my memory training skills.

Creative images, imagination with association and acronyms are three of the simplest and my personal favourite mnemonics to use. I like these 3 as they are simple to use and really fun. All you really need to do is be imaginative, creative and understand what positivity is to you personally.

All mnemonics need to be made with fun and positive images to enable them to be highly effective. That's the great thing about mnemonics you actually spend your time having fun and your Vastly going to improve your memory.

Step three

Eliminating stress

In step two I talked about how important having fun and keeping positive can really help your memory. Now stress is the exact opposite and has been proven in countless studies to effect the memory negatively.

How do we effectively eliminate or reduce stress in our lives? There are many stress relieving techniques you can use. Personally my proven favourite is meditation.

Now this doesn't mean becoming a Guru and spending your life in the clouds. Quite the contrary. Meditation can be used in a office space in the home and garden or anyplace you can find a quiet moment. Meditation is not a case of changing religion just about taking time out relaxing the mind clearing clutter thoughts. With a clear mind there is no clutter and vastly helps us to improve our memory.

If meditation is not your thing just take 10 meaningful breaths slow your breathing down and relax yourself. 10 conscious slow breaths which only take you one minute or less take will help calm you down and put your mind in a state that is ready to remember.

I hope you enjoy the three steps to improving your memory. Remember this is all supposed to be fun and enjoyable. Just try it yourself 15 min a day to try any of the three technique and see what a difference it will personally make in your life.

Thanks for reading.

Want to learn More techniques to improve your memory? Go to How to Improve memory. Or visit my homepage at http://www.improveyourmemory2day.com Thanks for reading. A Matthews

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Managing Failure

 By Elochukwu Israel

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Failure Isn't Actually Bad

The essence of this series is to address problems that hinder a person's stroll to living a successful life. It's become evident in every sphere of life what staggering blow the taste of failure could have in the life of anyone who experiences it.

I've been able to outline six (6) reasons why failure isn't actually bad. They are as follows:

- Failure means "I've an opportunity to try again".
- Failure means, 'I'm learning some new tricks'.
- Failure is a foundation for success.
- Failure says, "You're a celebrity in the making".
- Failure says, "I'm refining you".
- Failure is teaching you to "Believe in yourself

Failure means "I've an opportunity to try again":

"The majority of people meet with failure because they lack the persistence to create new plans to take the place of failed plans" - Mark Victor Hansen

Failure like I've always pronounced isn't bad at all. If you learn from your experience having failed once, you haven't really failed; you only experimented. Failing is an opportunity to make it better. How would you feel after writing an exam, the examiner announced the result and it happened that you failed; You would desire a second chance to correct your mistakes in the first instance, isn't it? Yes, every one of us would want that and would certainly go for that. That's to show that you can still do it no matter what the results was in the first instance. That is the idea of failure for you.

How about a situation where you failed the same exam but were unable to get a second chance to upgrade or retake? May your professor or whomever that is in-charge looks at you and says something like, "sorry dude, you screwed your first and only chance up. You've got no such opportunity again to upgrade". How would you feel? Bad, huh? Yeah, really bad. You don't have to feel bad anymore because life has been so generous to give each and every one of us hundred-loads of opportunity to re-write our past mistakes. Would you not say thank you to life?

The most important lesson here is not to give up. If you find that the opportunities match you goals, you better go for it! The difference between you and the most successful persons on earth isn't that they didn't fail often; they failed as a matter of fact more, many and more times. But they were able to pick themselves up each time they failed and tried again and again until they found the right mix. Your success will not be actualized if you don't learn to pick up your pieces and parts each and every time you fall.

Your comments on this article will be appreciated immensely.

Enjoy yourself.

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Permanently Delete Self Doubt and Reclaim Your Self Confidence

 By Nick Arrizza, M.D.

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Have you ever wondered where self doubt comes from? Well it arises when one chooses to turn against their own inner wisdom and truth out of a need to please others, to feel wanted, feel loved, be validated, feel included, be respected, feel accepted, to be taken care of by important others, to avoid being rejected, avoid taking full responsibility for one's self and one's life and so on.

All of the above are the result of emotional baggage that conditions and programs you to give away your power to others and to stop trusting yourself. This comes about when one has experienced and has stored within negative memories of abuse, neglect, humiliation, rejection, abandonment, failure and so on.

A negative experience is anything that goes against what is good and right for you. In other words it negates you, your inner truth and your life. Another way of saying this is that it literally beats you and your self confidence out of your mind/body. When this happens one becomes and feels exiled from their life.

That exiled state is accompanied by an experience of weakness, inadequacy, low self confidence, an inability to know or to trust one's inner truth, lost, alone, needy, insecure, anxious, dependent, self doubting, and vulnerable to being controlled, abused, used and exploited just to name a few. That's what individuals experience when they say they "have given their power away".

The power here refers to one's Life Force Energy, the energy of life which has embodied within it all of ones positive resources some of which include self confidence, clarity and peace of mind, self esteem, self respect and an inner wisdom that supports and guides them constantly in the right direction. So it is a disconnection from this truth that leaves one feeling lost and unable to trust themselves i.e. self doubting.

Now there is a simple, rapid and permanent way to extricate one's self from this seemingly irreversible state. That way involves actually erasing all that old emotional baggage once and for all. That baggage exists, as mentioned, in the form of negative memories stored in the subconscious mind much like a computer virus stored on the hard drive of your computer. If a way can be found to erase it that will allow the exiled state to end so that you i.e. your Life Force Energy can reunite/reintegrate with your mind/body and you can come home to your self.

This experience is what is referred to as being and feeling alive, present, secure, positive, peaceful, empowered, self confident, self assured, strong, discerning, clear, optimistic, in control of one's self and one's life and so on. This is the way you were always supposed to feel.

Ironically your so called "life experience", i.e. your life history programming, as we call it actually robs you of it. Here is your chance to reclaim it once and for all. To get an experience of a new coaching process that can begin to help you move in that direction kindly visit the web site below where you can request a free introductory 1 hour telephone/Skype consultation.

Nick Arrizza MD, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor is an International Life, Executive, Organizational Tele-Coach, Author of Esteem For The Self: Restoring the Divine Holographic Energy Field With The Mind Resonance Process® (MRP) and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Consultation and a Free E-copy of my new book are available upon request. (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

Email: drnick@telecoaching4u.com
Web Site: http://telecoaching4u.com

Copyright © 2011, Nick Arrizza M.D., All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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