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Friday, April 29, 2011

The Best Way to Solve Your Problems

 By Susan Leigh


Problems can at times seem to overwhelm us. When we start to feel stressed and losing control it can become very difficult to see the good and positive around us. We can start to feel that everything is going wrong in our lives. There can appear to be no end in sight to the problems.

Let's look at some of the areas where problems can arise:

- Families can be areas of disagreement. In-laws, children, different agendas can cause people to disagree because of conflicting priorities. Regular communication and honest negotiation are often required otherwise these situations can become a battle of wills. It is often best if a couple can discuss and agree their thoughts in private, then afterwards present a united front.

- Work is often a demanding part of life. Many people are trying to impress their boss, keep their business afloat, improve their career position, try to stay solvent. Finding a balance between work and the other areas of life can be difficult to engineer.

- Money is often a large part of the problem as everyone is looking to spend less, reduce overheads, get a better deal. And yet society is very consumer focussed with new technology and markets regularly being developed. More things are now regarded as essential. Things get replaced not repaired. More money is required to sustain the lifestyle.

Let us start to look at the best way to solve your problems:

- Be proactive. Saying or doing something about it is often the best way to start dealing with a problem. It can be tempting to try to forget things that seem to difficult to handle, but doing that often means that they start to become more urgent over time. And leaving things often means that other, new problems may arise that also need attending to. The problems can compound into several things that cannot be ignored.

- Take control and write a list. Brainstorm and write down everything that you regard as a problem. Often when you later look at the list you realise that many of the items are outside of your control. There is no point in worrying about things that you can do nothing about. Other items may read as trivial or a lot less important when they're committed to paper and out of your head.

- Prioritize. Not everything needs sorting today. Once everything is listed it is easier to decide which things are urgent, which things can be started work on and then left with someone else and which things can be put to one side for the time being. Prioritising starts to put things into perspective.

- Do what you can and move on. Sometimes it can be helpful to start work on a problem and then pass it on to someone else. Outside help may be required in dealing with it. Passing something on allows you to relax and forget about it for a time. It is in hand. Keep good quality notes then you can still feel in control and be able to see where you're up to in each situation.

- Ask for help. Use your network of contacts. Even if you're struggling in an area of specialised expertise it's often amazing to discover who can help. People in your individual circle of contacts may be able to recommend experts in many areas of knowledge.

- Schedule in some fun. It is important that as the stress of problems increases there is an occasional interlude for personal time. Finding some space away from the stress is an important way to recharge your batteries so that you can continue again another time. Maintaining your health is an important part of the commitment to solve your problems.

Problems happen as part of life. The skill is in developing an effective coping strategy. Keeping control of personal health, stress levels and your life means dealing with things in a balanced, positive way. This is the best way to solve your problems.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with
- stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief,
- couples in crisis to help improve communications and understanding
- with business clients to help support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams

For more information see

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