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Sunday, April 28, 2013

The Steve Jobs Inspired Dream!

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Photo: farm7.static.flickr.com

It happened once that I had nothing to do. I am kidding hah!

I always have nothing to do. Again kidding. ENOUGH of it.

So I was once wondering about people and their role models. Back recently the great Steve Jobs met an unfortunate death. No doubt about what an amazing person he was. But after his death he became even more of a hero. He deserved it. The passion he had for his work cannot be matched by someone easily. So after a while, when I got over the fact that he is no more in this world. I was thinking about people and their iCons. What clicked me was that people instead of taking proper inspiration and lessons from them, they just blindly follow them. Well this doesn't make any sense right now. But it will as you continue reading this.

So I was/am in an engineering college pursuing Bachelors Degree in Computer Engineering. When the great Steve Jobs passed away many people who had no idea about him even got to know about him and how great he was as he was a hot topic of discussion among the media. So I decided to give a few books about him to some of my college mates. All of them were ambitious guys from my department only. After they finished reading, I asked them what do they conclude from his biography? What inspiration does it give? Well, most of the guys were saying things like we don't need to study and just need to drop out of college and work towards creating a company like APPLE INC. Some said they should continue pursuing the Bachelors and after finishing the degree they should focus on creating some great stuff related to computers and softwares. So this is about the little survey I did.

Let me talk first about the guys who thought about dropping out of the programme. Just because Steve Jobs did it, you don't need to drop out to become successful. And what they were dreaming of was just about copying what he did. Now let me tell you. The most important lesson that Steve gave us. Follow what you want to! Not what he followed! It was his dream to innovate the computing arena! You should have a dream of yourself. The same thing goes for guys who said they should continue pursuing the degree and make something like him. No. You should do whatever you feel like doing. And yea, if you want to do something you dream about, you should have enough patience, should be ready to face the problems, should be able to accept that what you want may not be so easy to achieve. You will have to work hard for it. And if you don't have these traits you don't have enough zeal for your dream. So better get passionate about what you want to do or complete the degree and get a job which most of the guys do. And doing a regular office job sucks. You shouldn't get a job ever. And its completely my opinion. No. never. That's the worst thing to do. Why do you want to trade in your time for money? And get no flexibility in return? So its better to follow your dream live your life the way you want and become independent.

Apart from the inspiration of following our dream, he gave us another lesson in life. If you have a dream, you should be passionate like hell for it. Even a little compromise is blocking your path to excellence.

Another problem with people is that they don't even know what they want to do out of their life. Well this is no weird situation. People don't know what they want (STEVE JOBS said this). If you are unclear about what to do, don't over think. Give it some time. And if you end up doing something else, you will know what you like and want to do in your life, wrong decisions make you who you are. Just give a bit time to life and you will have everything figured out.
So to sum up, I want to say that, get inspired, choose role models, but don't do simply what they did. It was their dream. They followed it. Its your turn now. To follow your dream. If you're reading this it means you're ambitious enough to do some epic thing. So just follow it, cut out the fear. But yea, first be financially independent. Best of luck!

Thank You for reading!
If you liked this article then please check my blog ( http://anonymousindians.wordpress.com/ ) which is new right now and will be gaining some more inspirational articles soon!
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Monday, April 22, 2013

Vulnerability Builds Business?

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Making connections with clients and colleagues is and ongoing part of building a successful business. Have you ever had the experience of working with someone who seemed perfect - nothing seemed to ruffle their feathers or get in their way? They've got that perfect 'shiny exterior' and yet you can't seem to really get to know them? They seem somehow insincere and never quite reachable, never vulnerable. They're willing to talk about your vulnerabilities, even offer advice, but they don't open up about theirs. Frustrating? At best. Crazy-making at the worst.

Everyone over the age of fifteen (maybe ten, but just to be fair!) knows that life is full of challenges. We can't control many of the situations we encounter in life, even though we can control how we respond to them - and that response shapes and informs who we are and how we show up in the world, makes us who we are.

Truthfully, though, our biggest learning often comes out of our 'worst' mistakes - regardless of how we handle those situations in the moment. And, we've all been through tough times - some big, some small, some life changing. What has impact is different for all of us, but that common vulnerability is what makes us human, it's where our compassion is born and it's where it lives and develops.
When we share that vulnerability is when we become multi-dimensional and real - to everyone in our lives - clients and colleagues included. I'm not suggesting that you open up at every opportunity or that you tell your deepest secrets or greatest fears. I am suggesting that you be real and don't always strive to only show the 'perfect' and polished sides of your self.

Notice the word message contains the word 'mess'. Sometimes if you let your mess come through in your message, you become an example for people, an inspiration and most of all you become real. No one wants to follow someone they can't relate to or connect with. People connect with you when they know you can really relate to their pain and their experience, not because you studied it in school, or attended the workshop, but because you've been there and you know what it feels like to feel scared, or desperate, or hopeless or even just plain challenged in life!

If you're working as a transformational entrepreneur, a coach, a healer - it helps your clients to understand you've been there, you've overcome odds to do what you do today and that by revealing your mess and seeing and understanding the lessons in those messy situations, you are a fully realized human being, someone solid, someone worth working with.

Think of the people you admire who've faced adversity, come out the other side and are role models for picking oneself up and getting the job done, whatever the job is. Their stories are more powerful because of what they've overcome in life to achieve and be where they are today. We champion the people whose stories we know and we're skeptical of those who seem to just get there with no struggle. Be real, be authentic, don't be afraid to use your experience as an example for others. You just may be surprised how that willingness to be open shows up in your bank account!

Passion and Possibilities - the essence of Your Your Business Your Life. Reeny's blog includes inspirational articles showing you how to use your business to create your ideal lifestyle.
"Get Started" Find out what stands in your way, clarify your gifts,define who you are in the heart of your business.

Here you will have access to simple tools and templates that you can use right NOW to realize change in yourself and your business as you continue to make a difference http://www.passionandpossibilities.com/gifts.
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Sunday, April 21, 2013

Learn More Study Less Review

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I bought Learn More Study Less so I thought I'd do a review of the course to help anyone who's thinking about purchasing it. I'm going to tell you what you get, what's good, what I didn't like and I'll also tell you about some extras that come with the course.
In the Learn More Study Less course you get a series of 12 video modules, a workbook, worksheets, case studies and interviews. The course essentially does 3 things. First it explains how knowledge is stored in your brain. Then it teaches 4 different holistic learning techniques that will help you learn faster and easier and finally it teaches some strategies for productive study. The main part of the course consists of a workbook and videos which teach the sequence of how we learn and techniques on how to do it all broken up into 12 modules.

Module 1 is an introduction on how best to use the guide to get the best results. Nice and concise and set up the course nicely. Module 2 teaches you how to create a productivity system to avoid stress, eliminate procrastination and learn better. Very helpful. Several modules deal with different holistic learning strategies for remembering complex and technical information, a 3 step approach to memorizing difficult topics, image association for vocabulary (great for learning a new language) and flow based note taking. Module 5 covers speed reading vs. active reading, it teaches both methods. This module teaches you how to read better so you can spend less time studying books.

There is a module specifically for how to prepare for exams and how to manage a crisis when you can't (or haven't!) prepared ahead. Module 6 will also help you learn how to break down any course into its parts so they can be learned holistically. There are 2 modules covering how to set achievable goals and which learning tactics you should use based on your personal strengths and weaknesses. The last module (12) is where you apply what you've learned into a 3 month action plan where you'll have a manageable and structured plan to match you new improved learning techniques.
There are some extras included in the course which include 3 audio interviews with real life students and their stories and different learning examples. Each audio has accompanying notes (in a PDF file) which index the topics and times in the interview. Another little extra was an eBook on 6 case studies. They each included different learning techniques and challenges and also included a couple of images from the student's actual notes to show how they implemented a particular learning model. On the critical side I would have liked to have an mp3 file for each of the videos so that I could just listen to them when driving or away from my computer.

I was also a bit overwhelmed at first when faced with workbook of over 200 pages! But don't worry too much about that, watch the videos first to get an overall understanding of the different learning strategies and how the course is structured then you can dip into the book as more of a reference. It's what they recommend and I think it's a good idea.
There's no getting around the fact that this course in itself requires learning new skills and habits all of which will take time. This is not so much a negative about the course; it's just the nature of learning.

So if you want to reap the benefits of this course it's going to take your commitment to re-training your study habits and the course teaches strategies to help you do this.
Learn More Study Less is not designed to be a quick fix "magic pill" if you're already mid way through studying for exams, because the course is about teaching you "how to learn" and chances are that what you're currently learning has been by repetition and memorizing which makes learning difficult. You need to start your learning in the right way so you understand the information and can easily be able to recall what you've learned. If you take the time to create new and better learning habits, they will become second nature to you, meaning learning will be easier, faster, and more enjoyable and you'll be able spend less time studying and cramming. That's what will make learning easier and as the course suggests means you'll learn more and study less.

To view the video review and access Learn More Study Less program go to http://tiny.cc/learnmorestudylessreview
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Friday, April 19, 2013

How to Be More Creative?

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Whenever we talk about creativity and innovation, we normally think of geniuses. We all have grown up with the concept: there is a bunch of individuals in our society, who are really smart. They are able to come up with ideas that most others are not able to come up.
Somehow these geniuses whip up ideas which seem to be right out of other galaxies for the rest of the lay persons like us. Somehow the few of us posses uncanny ability to think up ideas which are really hard for the rest of us to think of.

Is that the reality? No doubt, there are many geniuses on earth. These are really smart imaginative individuals who have outstanding thinking and imaginative abilities. There is absolutely no doubt about the fact. Geniuses definitely exist.
But do we have to be among those few to be really creative and come up with innovations? If you have tried to study the creative process broadly you will eventually realize that the born genius is just the part of the picture.

Of course, many people have realized, it's not only the genes, hard work equally matters. Even with minimum luck on your side, hard work will trump anything else.
So let's say I'm not one of those born geniuses and I can't seem to be able to come up with creative ideas. Given that, how can I improve my creativeness?

The answer seems to lie here; Take action. Action seems to be the key, which many of us lack and we end up wrongfully attributing our inability to action to our inability to be creative.
Indeed, we need self-discipline to start action and we need self-discipline and determination to keep us going and not give up. We not only have to start taking action, but we have to keep taking action in spite of all the setbacks and problems that we may face.

But at the core, lies the following simple process that will improve your creativity.
Lets say you can't think of something cool. But can you think of something mundane? As per your own evaluation? Lets assume you are able to think of something simple. If you can't think of anything, you are stuck. Nobody can help you there. But if you can think of at least something. Help is there.

Next crucial step, is execution or implementation. Implement that simple idea. Do it. Even if it is the most ridiculous idea in the world, have some faith and courage and just do it.
Next step is to get feedback. When I said, implement your idea, it usually means you put your idea out to others. That would make it easy for you to get feedback.

Here lies another issue. We are afraid of negative feedback. Psychologists have found that the pain from the fear of the failure, is much worse than pain of actual failure. Go figure!!
The way our mind works, it's just too good at creating a perceived fear of the failure. There are several mechanisms at play here. We can't go into all the details. But I'll point you to one example.
We tend to overestimate how much others judge us. When you are walking by in a crowded street, you are likely thinking a lot about how others are perceiving you. That would greatly dictate, how you walk and how you express yourself etc.

But guess what, others are busy thinking along the same line! They are equally busy thinking that others are watching them. Given this, nobody gives a damn about you! But you are unnecessarily very much burdened by this imaginary process, at least psychologically.
Here we go. We have irrational fear of negative feedback. We just need to shake it off. Don't let it stop you from taking action, even if it is a simple action. Take action and get feedback. Feedback is very likely going to be bad. Just prepare yourself.
No wonder there is famous saying that, "Always hope for the best, but prepare for the worst". Be ready to get negative feedback.

Here we face yet another pitfall. Despite all the rationale about preparing for worst etc. At the end of the day, we just can't easily take negative feedback. Some of us are inherently good at it and they succeed fast. But most of us just wallow in the negative feedback, no matter how much rationally it may make sense.

There are techniques out there to help you out, whereby you can control your emotional self better and can take negative feedback easily. We'll talk about those at detail in other articles.
Assuming you've taken the initiative and taken the simple action you could think of. Assuming you have prepared yourself and are not so bad at taking negative feedback. Now what do you do?
Never get feedback from friends and family. They will give you biased feedback to not let you down. It will be difficult, but you have to get it from someone you can trust to give you honest feedback, or it has to be a stranger.

Try to get feedback from more than one source. Is there a common theme? If there is, you have the next step already defined for you. They may say "what you are doing is good and here is what you should do next".

It is important that when you seek feedback, you frame your question such that you get a measurable answer. You ask them to give thumbs up or thumbs down and you should make sure you ask them to give you feedback about what to do differently.

If there is consensus feedback, you know what to do next. If there is no consensus. You have to go back to table and think of what is the next simple idea that comes to your mind that is different.
Don't make the mistake of repeating the same thing over and over and hoping to get different outcome. That is a sign of stupidity as per Einstein's famous saying.

Key is to try something different. Simple and different. Doesn't have to be fancy. Take action. Seek feedback. Keep repeating this process. Never stop and keep iterating on this process and I guarantee that you will find yourself more creative and more innovative in no time.
You have to realize that I may have simplified some of the ideas here for sake of keeping the length of this article. But I hope you get the gist of the article.

Take simple action. Solicit feedback. Frame your feedback questions such that you get quantifiable answers. If something didn't work, next step should be to do something different. Keep repeating the process until you reach where you want to be.

That is how you can be more creative and more innovative.
Mestipen Casamir is a writer with expertise in human psychology and personal development. You can check out his latest website No More Chances, where he provides details, reviews and advice about how to achieve success and how to live a better fulfilling life.
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Thursday, April 18, 2013

Give Me Motivation: Top 10 Secrets to Stay Motivated

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Having dreams and goals is not enough to attain success. You need to stay motivated constantly to reach the finish line. Like life, success in your profession also involves a lot of obstacles and struggling phases. However, you need to keep moving on and not give up. Motivation is the best option to kick-start, continue pursuing and reach your ultimate goal. You need to stay motivated while pursuing your goals to enjoy abundance. Self-motivation is better than any motivation. Instead of looking for motivation elsewhere, get self-motivated.
You can make use of these  

Top 10 Secrets to Stay Motivated:

1. Determine goals
You need to figure out where your goals lie. What are you aiming at that will bring you success? Knowing your goals will help you stay motivated and help you attain them with ease.

2. Maintain a positive attitude
Stay positive. It will help you in staying motivated to your goals. Sticking to a positive attitude will help you overcome many difficult situations and increase your productivity. You can also brighten up the moods of your colleagues with your optimism and enthusiasm.

3. Leave personal problems aside and stay focused on work
Don't bring your problems to your office desk. Maintain a line between your professional and personal life. It will help you stay focused and motivated to handle office issues better. Moreover, worrying about personal problems at work will not help in solving your personal issues. It will only distract the focus of your colleagues. Keep problems at bay and focus wholly on the job at hand.

4. Upgrade your knowledge and skills
To have an edge over others, you need sharpen your skills and upgrade your knowledge. All this will help you gain self-confidence and help you perform better. This is a good motivational factor.

5. Be passionate
Life without passion is useless, and work without passion seems like targeting the bull's eye in the dark. Doing passionate work will give you a unique dimension in your professional life. If you love your work, you will enjoy it; and when you enjoy it, you tend perform better. So, make passion your motivator to be a good performer.

6. Decrease or eliminate energy drains
Surround yourself with positive people. Negative vibes will create more problems in your life. Having people around you, who will motivate you whenever you feel a drop in your confidence, will help you drain out negative energies like people who let you down or underestimate you.

7. Practice self-talk
Did you know the most trustworthy person is none other than "you"? Self-talk is like massaging your conscience as it acts as a great building block for a successful life. For instance, say "I can do it" rather than "I can't do it."

8. Confront challenges and fears
One cannot grow unless he/she confronts challenges and fears. You may come across many hurdles and downfalls, but lifting yourself up after every fall and maintaining the same focus will help you come out as a winner.

9. Meditation
Practicing meditation is like meeting your soul, interacting with your inner being and creating a balance in your life. A balanced life is synonymous to a successful career. Meditate to relax your mind and body. It will also rejuvenate and prepare you for a new day of challenges in your profession.

10. Acknowledge and reward success
Acknowledgements and rewards enhance motivation. You can perform better, when you are appreciated and rewarded for your hard work. Accept the little that you get in the form of acknowledgement or reward and stay motivated.

To conclude, your meticulous efforts in following these and other tips will help you stay motivated in order to reach your goals not only in a business scenario, but in any other scenario in life.
World Class training for professionals - We coach professionals how to be in Ananda a state of bliss and reconnect with a lost, current or greater opportunity, so that they can enjoy the life style they deserve, celebrate and integrate their victory and give back to the greater good.
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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

3 Ways People Deal With Failure


Author: Adam Khoo


Photo:  inc.com

What separates people who enjoy success from the majority who end up never getting what they want is how we respond to failure. It is what we do about failure that makes a big difference.

There are three ways in which people respond to failure.

Pattern 1: Give Excuses, Lay Blame & Give up

What do some people do when they don't get what they want? They will start giving themselves lots of excuses and blame everything and everyone around them. They say things like, 'it's not fair', 'I'm just not smart enough' 'It's just too difficult', 'I'm too young' or 'I'm too old', 'I just didn't have the luck', 'the depressed economy affected me'.

Feeling helpless and frustrated, this first group will stop taking action and give up! They will resign themselves to their goal being out of reach and live a life of mediocrity.

Pattern 2: Keep Trying the Same thing Over and Over Again

These are the people who have a lot more determination than the first. When they don't get their outcome, they will not quit. They will get themselves to take action again. The motto of this group is, 'I failed because I did not try hard enough' 'If I keep trying, I will eventually succeed'. So they keep taking action, putting in more time, energy and effort. No matter how many times they fail, they just keep trying harder and harder.

Will they eventually achieve their goals? It depends. If they set small, incremental goals, they may, with enough time and effort eventually succeed. However, if they set big and exceptional goals, like becoming the top in their field, they will never be successful by just trying again and again. They may experience a better result, but they won't reach the goals they desire. Why?

Because, although they keep taking action, they do not change their strategy. If you keep using the same approach, you are going to keep getting the same result. I have seen so many professionals and businessmen repeat this limiting pattern.

I know many businessmen who fail in their business only to start again and do the same thing. They keep putting in ads that don't work, they hire ineffective people or they use the same business model.

Pattern 3: Get Feedback, Change Strategy and Take Action until you Succeed.

So what is the pattern that all successful individuals exhibit? When they don't achieve their goals, they don't think of it as failure. Instead, they perceive it as feedback. Either feedback that the strategy they used was ineffective or that they did not take enough action. They then use this feedback to immediately change their strategy and take action again.

If they still don't succeed, they will get more feedback, change their strategy and take action again. They keep repeating this process until they get what they want. They do whatever it takes. So, remember, every time you don't get what you want, it is life giving you feedback. It is this continuous feedback you need to help you adjust your approach until you hit your target.

Thomas Edison took almost 10,000 attempts before inventing the light bulb. When asked how he did it, he said that he had to first find 9,999 strategies of how not to invent the light bulb. He then used this feedback to change his strategy until he got what he wanted.

Successful people re-look and change their strategy whenever they encounter 'failure'. They understand that failure is feedback. Understand this principle and you will overcome failure and achieve success in no time at all.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/motivational-articles/3-ways-people-deal-with-failure-50885.html

About the Author

Adam Khoo is an entrepreneur, best-selling author and a self-made millionaire by the age of 26. Discover his million dollar secrets and claim your FREE audio CD program '6 Ways To Achieve Anything' here.   

Monday, April 15, 2013

Key Success Factors in Business

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I would like to take some time, important time, to touch the subject of key success factors in business.
Today I want to focus on the business in network marketing sector. The sector which is the closest to my heart, so to speak. I love network marketing. It gives so much opportunities to make your dreams come true.

If you really mean to achieve a great success in network marketing, one of the key success factors is the help of your family and friends.
You know, it is very difficult to reach your goals when your loved ones don't bother to support you all the way to your success. You see, when you start your own business, you must realize that it makes a difference whether your closest friends are willing to show you their support, help and care.
You can really do business on your own. Of course it is possible. But the chances to achieve success are increasing drastically if your friends decides to be helpful and supportive. Their help can appear as one of the most important success factors of all.

How to gain the support of your loved ones? How can you convince them to be helpful? Well, first of all, try and educate them about the business you are in. Sometimes you are looking for some strange reasons why they don't want to help. And it may simply appear that they just aren't familiar enough with what you are doing in your business.

One of the key success factors can be the ability to persuade your friends that the expected results of your business activities will be that huge.
The next thing you should do when it comes to getting help from your family and friend is to specify exactly what kind of help you expect from them. This simple thing can be one of the success factors in gaining the support from your loved ones. Tell them what you need and how exactly it will help your business. It is so often the case that friends and family members want to reach out and help, but don't know what they can do.

You have to remember to show even more gratitude and appreciation for the help of your friends in comparison to others. Show them your respect. Be sure that having the support of friends and family is something we you really want when it comes to big decisions, like starting a business. In the matter, the success factors are the ability to be informative, unafraid to ask for help and willing to return the favor.
My name is Daniel Kasztura. I live in Poland. I love being myself.
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Saturday, April 13, 2013

Brain Aerobics and Memory Recall Abilities

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Most people have fear not only of aging but also of memory loss. Although aging is inevitable, people do not necessarily have to suffer memory decline in the process. They can do something to keep their brains active in order to maintain memory functions up to old age. People have to keep their bodies and their brains healthy but aside from these, they have to deal with their stress. To keep their brains doing its best for a long period of time, people may work on brain aerobics or do mental exercises.

Brain cell regeneration is possible but people need good nutrition, regular and mental exercises as well. People need to work on their mental muscles in order to increase memory recall abilities. They will have to engage in activities that would require their attention as well as some of their senses. Some of the things that people can do in order for them to exercises their mental muscles include learning new things, memorizing details or lists, engaging in current events discussion, working on crosswords and other puzzles. They can also sing songs or engage in hobbies, music or the arts.

People should spend about 20 minutes on their mental workouts. They also have to do it at least three times weekly. Those who have spent some time on brain activities have been found out to increase their memory functions. For better results, people may combine brain aerobics with physical exercises even as simple as walking. They also need to get sufficient sleep and they have to keep their bodies well hydrated each day. Doing these may help in the regeneration of brain cells which would increase people's abilities to absorb, store and retrieve information anytime that they need it.
Even those who are already on the verge of losing their memory can still work on their mental and physical exercises. They may also slow down or even prevent the development of age-related mental diseases like Alzheimer's.

Brain aerobics activities are mental exercises that have been scientifically developed to help people prevent memory loss. Younger individuals may also start working on their mental muscles in order for them to increase mental abilities especially when it comes to recalling details that they have studied. There are programs that are available online for those who would like to start working on their memory recall abilities. There are also institutions that cater to the elderly population who would like to keep their memory functioning well despite their age.

Improving the health of your brain is important in memory improvement. Enough exercise aids you to increase your memory. Eating foods with mineral helps you to improve memory power. Stay mentally active as this also helps. Learn more at http://www.memory-improvement-techniques.com/optin/ezines.html.
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Thursday, April 11, 2013

Who Did You Want to Be When You Grew Up?

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When I was young I wanted to be the female equivalent of Gene Kelly, I thought he was amazing and gorgeous to boot!

I loved watching the old musicals with the women wearing dresses to die for, the music, the dancing, the romance, they had it all. I grew up believing that was going to be my life some day. I would sing and dance myself into the arms of someone handsome who would sweep me off my feet and serenade me till dawn. Bliss. Then I grew up - boo!

When you're young anything seems possible, there are no limitations because your brain doesn't seem to have any. If you want to be a nurse, a pilot or the queen then you can. All you have to do is find the correct clothing (mums' old curtains and the tiara she wore at her wedding) and you're the queen. You know exactly how to act and how to treat your royal subjects (little brother) as the newly appointed monarch.

Then the teenage years hit, along with the acne and greasy hair and you start to wonder what an earth's going on? It's during these wonderful years of confusion and self discovery that you're expected to know what you want to do with your life. Isn't getting up for school tough enough?
When I was 15 the unemployment rate was at its highest and I remember my careers teacher telling my class that only 2 out of 30 of us would get a job. You've got to admire the man's optimism! Fortunately I was with a bunch of fairly bright kids and most of us managed to find work. I ended up working in an office, not a super star as originally planned.

My mum and dad were always of the mindset, work hard at school, get a job, settle down and have children. So I did everything according to their plan, not mine. It never occurred to me that there might be more or that there was life beyond Birmingham.

One marriage, three daughters and one divorce later I found myself wanting more out of life. I knew I was a strong person and had a lot more to give so I decided to step out of my comfort zone and apply for an Executive PA role. Not only did I get the job but it turned my life upside down! I got to travel around Europe and meet some amazing people.

Four years ago I felt I had outgrown my role as a PA and decided to take a leap of faith and start working for myself. I asked, 'Who do I want to be?' It turned out I want to be ME. Being ME is helping people to feel fabulous, to feel confident with who they are and to live life to the full. It's like putting the tiara on for real.

Who did you want to be when you grew up? Are you being true to yourself or are you living someone else's plan? Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and go for the dream regardless of what others expect of you. As Jim Rohn said, "If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much."
My specialty is working with women who want to feel fabulous and happy, helping them to have self belief, giving them the guidance and encouragement that they need to be the person they truly want to be. Visit http://www.margarethamilton.co.uk to make a start on your own life plan.
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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Top 10 Questions About Stress


Author: David Algeo, Stress(ed) Guru

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Stress.  What is it really?  What do we mean when we say "I can't take the pressure?"  Or "I'm stressed out?"  Am I really?  Is it a bad thing?  Or do I actually need stress to get me going?  A lot can be involved when we start a discussion about stress.  And it's important to understand a problem before we can begin to find solutions for it.

Let's tackle the basics here with 7 top questions about stress:

1.  What is stress?

When we talk about stress, we really should be talking about the "stress reaction."  Okay, so what is the stress reaction?  In short, it is an evolved survival  mechanism.  Our senses transmit information about a situation and our mind has to make its mind up;  Am I safe or under threat?  If the decision is ‘under threat,' the mind activates the ‘fight or flight' response.  This then equips the body to proceed with that course of action.  It can occur in an instant, often before you are even consciously aware that there is a threat present.  It's about gearing you up to deal with the threat in order to survive, and then restoring you to your former (unstressed) state, once the threat has abated.

2.  Is there a difference between pressure and stress?

The problem today with these words is that they have become so commonly used and now carry a host of meanings.  Let's keep it simple.   Let's think of ‘pressure' (sometimes referred to as a stressor) as the thing that is applied to us and ‘stress,' or more accurately, our ‘stress response' as the response to that pressure.  An example;  your boss drops a big pile of paperwork on your desk requiring it to be completed by the end of the day (that's the pressure being applied), You, upon seeing this, then stand up, scream and run out of the office (that's your stress response).

3.  What is acute stress?

Some dangers and threats are immediate. Back in the day, when we were living in caves, hunting and foraging for food to live, our bodies evolved to handle the various threats we encountered. Upon realizing that we were in the presence of a dangerous predator, say a sabre-toothed tiger, the stress response was immediate and all-consuming.  Our breathing and heart rates soared, our adrenaline pumped, and all our energies focused on our immediate survival.  This exemplifies acute stress.  It demands a big response from your body, and hopefully it won't need to be maintained for to long.

4.  What is chronic stress?

Some dangers and threats last over a longer term.  Back to the caveman.  In addition to sabre-toothed tigers, there were other threats to survival.  There were periods of hunger, competition for scarce resources, hostile environments, and a host of other daily physical challenges.  Our bodies also used the stress response to adapt to these long-term threats.  When food was scarce, our metabolisms and other bodily functions would slow down so our continued survival required less food.  When bountiful times returned, so would our daily food requirements.  This exemplifies chronic stress.  It is our body's way of surviving those longer term threats or challenges.

5.  There's no sabre-toothed tigers today, why should stress affect me now?

Whilst the stress response itself has not greatly changed, what we deem a threat has.  Thanks to our mind's ability to recall past events and think about future possibilities, we are capable of activating our stress response when simply imagining a threatening situation.  So, unlike the Zebra who is only able to focus on the immediate threats, we can worry about a threat that might occur tomorrow, next week or next month, and subsequently activate our stress response.  And the situation need not be life-threatening for our mind to perceive a threat and thus activate the stress response.

6.  Do we all get stressed out by the same things?

The short answer is no.  Take the example of Christmas.  To some, it is a wonderful time for celebration, relaxation and reflection.  To others, it is an incredibly stressful time that begins with the annual ritual of untangling the tree lights and ends only after the last straggling relative has gone home for another year. How can this be?  Christmas is Christmas.  This is true.  The day itself, the 25th of December, is the same for everyone.  But the values, customs, social beliefs, and past experiences that we bring to a situation determine its effect on us.  Thus to some, Christmas is a source of great joy while to others, it can be a significant stressor.

7.  Does my own mindset affect how stressed I get?

Absolutely yes, and in a number of ways.  One of the things that determines how we will respond to something stressful is our perception of our ability to cope.  Do we have the capacity (physically, psychologically and emotionally) to handle the threat or challenge that we are facing?  What it boils down to is whether or not we believe we have control of the situation.  If we believe that we do not, we may experience an increased stress reaction, maybe even to the point of panic mode.  If that happens, we may become unable to decide upon a course of action, and indeed, lose control of the situation.

8.  How does stress affect me?

There are three key ways in which stress affects us.


  • Physically:  Some of the ways that stress can manifest itself in your body are sleep disruption, tiredness, muscle tension, lack of energy, headaches and viral infections.

  • Psychologically:  These may be a little harder to spot and include lower motivation, negative thoughts, the inability to switch off, negative self-talk and anxiousness.

  • Behaviourally:  There are some behavioural changes caused by stress that you might want be on the lookout for, like working through breaks, craving energy boosters, changes in appetite, teeth grinding and taking work home, becoming irritable, withdrawing.

While any of these warning signs may also point to other issues besides stress, and therefore consider seeking professional medical advice, do consider whether stress is a contributing factor.

9.  Is stress all bad?

There is actually a positive purpose for stress, when used and managed properly.  The stress response is activated as a result of our brain perceiving a need for action.  The stress response engages our body, and we get moving.  When the alarm goes off in the morning, it is the stress response that tells our brain that we need to get out of bed. The brain then tells the body, and alas, we get out of bed.

10.  What could happen if I don't manage my stress?

The stress response evolved to help us out of sticky situations, but it was meant to be turned on for short periods of time when needed, then turned off.  However, if the stress response turns into chronic stress, it can contribute to the development of serious physical conditions such as hypertension, heart disease, stomach problems and even cancer.  It can also lead to psychological issues such as clinical depression, anxiety and panic disorders.

To sum it up, the stress response is our body's way of reacting to a threat.  We respond to the situation at hand and return to our normal state when the threat has been resolved.  It evolved to deal with short and even long term physical threats, so problems arise when we can endure long term psychological stress response activation.  Over time, this kind of chronic stress can lead to real physical, psychological and emotional problems.  Understanding how the stress response works, and applying stress management strategies to your life will go a long way toward preventing these kinds of problems in your life.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/wellness-articles/top-10-questions-about-stress-5590129.html

About the Author

Hi, I'm Dave Algeo, the Stress(ed) Guru.  I am all about making stress manageable and improving performance and wellbeing.

Check out my website:  https://sites.google.com/site/stressedguruwhite/home

And You tube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/stressedguru?feature=mhum

Through learning, humour and interaction, the message is loud and clear....

'Stress can be managed to improve motivation, health and vitality leading to greater personal and professional success and life satisfaction.'

With a policing background spanning 18 years, over 13 of which as an operational Sergeant, I have witnessed, experienced and worked with stress in its many forms.  From the traumatic to the trying, i know the mechanics of stress and the impact it can have on people and performance.
Whilst stress can be perceived as a negative force, it can be managed effectively using proven techniques and an individual approach.

I have delivered stress programmes to a range of organisations including, Northumberland County Council and Durham University.

Contact me  on 0800 380 0609 to discuss your requirements or click on the following for more information - www.stressedguru.co.uk
   

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Maximize Your Potential by Being Open Minded

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If you want to maximize your potential for success in business and in life, you've got to be open minded. Don't limit yourself - there are so many great things that you can do and accomplish if you open yourself to the world and open your eyes to the things that are available for you.
Perhaps you've become accustomed to some routines and patterns. You only see things in black and white because you've gotten used to this kind of thinking - just more of the same. However, despite what you perceive as commonplace in your everyday life and environment, if you're open minded, you'll definitely see more and allow more. Don't limit yourself to a small box and the small and ordinary ways of thinking.

Maximize your potential because you deserve more!

By limiting yourself, you're assuming that nothing else is going to happen, nothing is going to change, and that you're powerless. Do you ever think that way?
If you remain open minded to all of the possibilities in life, you'll see that life is so much more than some small place - opportunities are abundant. So if you wish to maximize your potential and truly make the most out of the opportunities that come your way, you should learn how to think out of the box by following these tips:
  • Rely on and trust yourself when making decisions. If you've become accustomed to relying on people for your actions, stop this practice. Instead, start making decisions for yourself. If you used to look up to someone for the things that you have to do, this is the time for you to take charge and take the lead to maximize your potential. It's now time for you to go out of your comfort zone and get out of your box.

  • Question things. Who said that you must accept things as they are? If something confuses you or you don't understand what's going on, don't hesitate to question it. If your ignorance and innocence is limiting your reach, it's especially important to remember to be open minded - spread your arms and your mind to widen your reach.

  • Learn to think beyond what is in front of you. When you deal with things, always view it not just in relation to what you have at the moment, but also to what it could bring for your future that could potentially help you maximize your potential. You need to understand that everything is connected, and your power to anticipate and think ahead, can and will make wonders for you.
Maximize your potential because you can!
  • Feel free to make mistakes. It's nice to take risks from time to time. If you're too frightened to move out of your box because you're afraid of making mistakes, you will never get to see what's outside. You may trip and you may fall. Don't worry about making a mistake. Instead, think of what you'll do when you get where you want to go.

  • Let other people inspire you. If you cannot see yourself going out of the box, then try to visualize yourself through other people's lives. Study other people's achievements and marvel at what they have accomplished. Let their achievements inspire you to achieve more for yourself. Believe that if they were able to do it, you can do it for yourself as well.

  • Continue learning. Explore other things that you've not tried before. Go places, try new adventures, learn and feed on your zest for knowledge because these things will broaden your horizon and allow you to go beyond what most people expect of you.
Open minded people have the greatest power to maximize their potential. It's all about thinking differently - getting out of the box that limits you. It's completely up to you. As you encounter people and discover programs that promise to help you maximize your potential, keep in mind that it's your responsibility to take action. Take what you're learning and make it your own. Your ultimate success depends on it!

Dena Lynn helps frustrated home based business entrepreneurs get off the cycle of overwhelm and create clear solutions so they can start building their business like the Warrior they are - see profits faster, and TRIUMPH in business & in life. Visit Dena Lynn at http://dena-lynn.com.
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Sunday, April 7, 2013

Do You Blame Someone Else For Your Mistakes?

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Are you a blame gamer? Are you the type of person who makes a mistake of some type, and who points your finger at someone else?

You're walking along in your office between rows of seats, carrying a tray of coffee. You trip, and of course the coffee goes everywhere.

"Wasn't me," you cry. "Someone stuck out his/her foot and tripped me."
No they didn't. For whatever reason, you tripped, and dropped the tray of coffee. You didn't mean to do it, therefore it was an accident.

I fear that nowadays, we live in the 'blame culture', where the words 'accident' and an 'Act of God' take a back seat. It seems that the key word today is 'sue'. Like that woman in one of the fast food places that spilled her very hot coffee all over her. Now, there are warnings all over those mugs or cups they give you that the contents is very hot.

Did she ask for cold coffee? No. She wanted hot coffee. She was given hot coffee. No-one attacked her. No-one picked up the cup and deliberately poured it all over her. She managed that on her own. Nevertheless, she sued the establishment and won! A tidy amount, I believe. It was her fault, albeit accidental, but still her fault nonetheless.

Let's take this to the extreme. If you blame all your faults, accidents and mistakes on other people, then whose life are you living? True, it takes a certain amount of character to 'fess up to a fault or mistake, to apologize when something goes wrong because of a mistaken action on your part. So do you blame someone else for your mistakes? Or are you a big enough person to accept responsibility for them?

The trouble is that if you start blaming others, it can become a habit. Automatically, if something goes wrong, you stand well back and if asked whether you had anything to do with it, you say emphatically, "no". On the other hand, do you accept the credit when you've done something well? You'd better believe it!

Another point is gossip. You take a colleague aside, and you start telling him what a frightful person is that man in personnel. Most likely, your colleague has never had anything to do with that person, but he politely hears you out. During your diatribe, he's probably thinking what a terrible person you are! Have you ever had that experience of being pulled aside, while someone bad-mouths someone else? How did you feel?

One good idea is that if something doesn't work for whatever reason, be it your fault, someone else's or pure accident, don't just saunter away and hope someone else finds the answer. You see what you can do. If it was your fault in the first place, then admit to it. If it was someone else's, don't point the finger.

You may find it'll be bitten off!
Hypnosis and Psychology are such vast subjects, but you'll learn a very great deal by clicking onto http://www.thehypnosisattraction.com Not only that, but you'll find a FREE hypnosis audio tutorial on Mike Bond's site at http://www.thehypnosisattraction.com
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Thursday, April 4, 2013

How To Avoid Making Disastrous Mistakes

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Disastrous mistakes are the ones that makes things end in a terrible way; be it in marriages, relationships and our everyday dealings. It has been said that the decisions you make will either make you or break you. Many people have made decisions that they today live to regret. There are families in which children are still paying for the consequences of their (late) parent's bad decisions.
Some mistakes we make as humans are avoidable and preventable. However, as God's children, we can completely avoid the ones that are disastrous; the ones that causes us irreparable damages - break up in homes, kill people in car accidents, get people involved in wrong relationships, wrong investments and wrong businesses. "I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.".

Ways To Make Accurate Decisions In Life.

- Put God first: You can never get a full understanding of anything, until you a full angle of God's understanding on it. Create time for God by making out thirty minutes for prayer and thirty minutes for the Bible, as soon as you get up from the bed each morning. The importance of putting God first each morning is, the rest of the day would surely be blessed.

- Never make important decisions when you are excited: At this point, there is a lust of the eye, the body and the mind. Always learn to sleep over an issue before making a decision. Don't let anyone put you under pressure. Watch it! when you begin to feel cool. Never make decisions when you are angry. The Bible says, "Be angry, but don't say your thoughts". For you cannot be angry and please God. Never break a commitment in a moment of anger.

- Avoid making important decisions when you are tired: The wisest decision you can make when tired is to go and sleep. Tiredness makes one get easily irritated by everything/everyone.

- Avoid senseless fights: Only fight the good fight of faith. Learn to keep your eyes on the work at hand.

- Don't jump into conclusions until you have heard all the facts: Don't make up your mind about anything, until you hear everything about a matter. Always hear every sides because there are two sides to a story.

- Don't steal the tithes: The tithe is the best insurance policy a child of God can have. Do not keep tithes away, but rather be honest with tithing. Tithes serves as a covenant between you and God.
- Always listen to your heart: The heart is the spirit-man it serves as a tunnel through which God's words passes through. The spirit-man knows a whole lot than the mind. Don't follow what the majority does, follow your heart.

Summary.
- Listen to the spirit of God to guide you.
- Don't do what others are doing, look up to God for directions.
Sarah Ityav, http://www.ears333.wordpress.com, How To Avoid Making Disastrous Mistakes.
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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

How Female Hormonal Changes Can Contribute to Anxiety and Panic Attacks


Author: Deanne Repich


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Some women are more sensitive to hormonal fluctuations than others. For many women, anxiety issues appear for the first time during periods of hormonal change. For other women, hormonal changes intensify previously existing anxiety symptoms.

Anxiety is one of the most common symptoms of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome (PMS), post-childbirth, and perimenopause (the period of time before the onset of menopause). It may take the form of panic attacks, nervousness, sweating, intense fear, anxiety combined with depression, or other overwhelming symptoms.

Here are several periods of hormonal change that can intensify or trigger anxiety in women.

Puberty -- Developing girls experience hormonal changes as they prepare to begin their reproductive years.

Monthly menstrual cycle -- Often girls and women experience PMS the week before their period.

Following childbirth -- The severe drop in certain hormones following childbirth can cause dramatic physical symptoms and a temporary feeling of depression or anxiety; in some women, it is prolonged.

Perimenopause -- Perimenopause is the period of time when the body is approaching menopause. It may last from two to ten years. During this time the menstrual cycle becomes irregular as the hormone levels keep fluctuating, causing some women to experience PMS-like symptoms.

Although many of us may use the term "going through menopause" to describe this period of time, it is actually called perimenopause. Many women experience panic attacks for the first time during perimenopause. Other symptoms such as insomnia, hot flashes, rapid heartbeat, and sweating are also common.

With surgical menopause (hysterectomy), you'll likely experience perimenopausal symptoms after the surgery, even if you did not experience symptoms prior to surgery. Symptoms can be prolonged and are due to the dramatic and sudden decrease of certain hormones as a result of the hysterectomy. 

In non-surgical circumstances, menopause occurs after a woman has no periods for twelve consecutive months. It lasts only one day. Many women report feeling better than ever mentally and physically after menopause, due to the fact that hormone levels stabilize.

Hormonal Change Triggers the Fight Or Flight Response

Due to the fact that hormonal change causes physical and psychological stress, it triggers our "fight or flight" response. The fight or flight response is the body's inborn, self-protective response to perceived danger.

When we perceive that we are under stress, our bodies send out a rush of cortisol, adrenaline, and other brain chemicals to prepare us to "fight" or "flee" the danger.

The fight or flight response triggers the physiological changes that we associate with anxiety, such as rapid heartbeat, increased blood pressure, sweating, muscle tension, narrowed mental focus, heightened emotion, and many other symptoms.

These are the same physical sensations that many women experience when their hormone levels fluctuate. In other words, most of the symptoms women experience during times of hormonal change are really fight or flight reactions. While these physical sensations are not dangerous, they can be very intense and overwhelming.

Our fight or flight response mechanism can become "hypersensitive" with the various hormonal changes in our bodies that take place from puberty to menopause. Many of us are in a constant state of stress due to our lifestyle and thought patterns, which also causes hypersensitivity.

In other words, our bodies may be stuck in the "on" switch of fight or flight. What normally wouldn't trigger symptoms, now initiates symptoms and perpetuates an ongoing cycle.

Fight or flight reactions in and of themselves are harmless. However, when our thoughts convince our rational minds that these symptoms are scary and dangerous, we create an anxiety cycle.

Anxiety consists of more than fight or flight reactions acting by themselves. Unproductive thoughts play a critical role in creating and perpetuating the anxiety we experience.
 
Our thoughts convert fight or flight reactions into anxiety, and a self-perpetuating cycle begins. Soon we find ourselves limiting our behaviors because of anxiety as well, which further entrenches the vicious cycle.

When a person is under stress, unresolved emotions and issues commonly come to the forefront. Because hormonal change is a major stressor, it can bring up internal conflicts and self-doubt in many areas of our lives. All of a sudden, we may find that the negative self-talk that we successfully pushed to the background of our lives during less stressful times is now playing center stage.

During periods of hormonal change, we may also feel uncertain about our changing roles (e.g. maturing from girl to woman, becoming a mother, becoming a mature woman past childbearing years), which can add to our internal conflict.

When we fail to successfully resolve internal conflicts and the unhelpful thought patterns that contribute to them, we create a breeding ground for anxiety. Combined with fight or flight symptoms, it's no wonder that these unproductive thoughts create and perpetuate the anxiety cycle!

What can you do if hormone-related anxiety affects you?

Here's some great news! The same tools that you can use to overcome anxiety due to other reasons can help you to conquer anxiety related to hormonal changes too.

Research shows that cognitive-behavioral techniques that help you change unhelpful thoughts and behaviors, lifestyle changes, relaxation techniques, and nutritional strategies (all found in our Conquer Anxiety Success Program) can help women dealing with hormonal changes.

These types of strategies not only help women regain a sense of control over their lives, but actually achieve improved physical and emotional well being! Here are a few tips to get you started:

-- Focus on reducing preventable stress in your life that triggers the fight or flight response -- stop the yo-yo dieting; increase sleep to eight or nine hours a night; exercise regularly; don't skip meals; cut back on your frantic schedule; and decrease stimulants, such as caffeine.

The body isn't designed for constant stress. When we are bombarded with stress, our ability to cope can become overwhelmed because the elevation in stress hormones makes the fight or flight switch remain "on."

-- Learn how to train your body to respond differently to stress so that you can automatically turn the false alarm "off" when the fight or flight response is triggered. Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help you achieve this goal. 

-- Most importantly, learn how to change how you think. Our thoughts are what convert the harmless fight or flight response into a vicious cycle of anxiety. Remember, just as our thoughts hold the key to creating anxiety, they also hold the key to eliminating it!
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/stress-management-articles/how-female-hormonal-changes-can-contribute-to-anxiety-and-panic-attacks-80950.html

About the Author

Deanne Repich, founder and director of the National Institute of Anxiety and Stress, Inc., is an internationally known anxiety educator, teacher, author, and former sufferer. Tens of thousands of anxiety sufferers have sought her expertise to help them reclaim their lives from anxiety, stress, anxiety disorders, panic attacks, anxiety attacks and social anxiety. She is the creator of the Conquer Anxiety Success Program, author of more than seventy-five articles, and publishes the Anxiety-Free Living printed Newsletter for anxiety sufferers. To learn more about anxietyand to immediately download her free e-book Anxiety Tips: Seven Keys to Overcoming Anxiety, visit http://www.ConquerAnxiety.com.
   

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Lessons People Should Learn - But Don't!

 By


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I have noticed, time and again, an "odd" phenomenon: People invite upon themselves exactly that which they are afraid of. In other words, the way they behave is exactly the way which brings upon them that which they say they rather not experience!

Example 1: Fear of anger
Linda is afraid of anger. She is "scared to death" that others will be angry at her. Whether this is the result of her mother being angry at her from early on or not doesn't matter. What does matter is that she will do everything she can so that others won't be angry at her.
To achieve this "goal", she always behaves within a relationship the way her partner wants her to behave. And she always volunteers at work to do more work than others, just so that everyone will like her, just so that no body will be angry at her for one reason or another.
But here is the catch: she never keeps in touch neither with her family nor with her closest friends. This makes them angry at her time and again. Even when she realizes she hasn't contacted them in months she still doesn't initiate contact, fearing that now they will be angry at her for not contacting them earlier.

Example 2: Fear of rejection
Amy has taken endless workshops in her attempts to deal with her fear of rejection. Yet, she never keeps in touch with her friends, neither by phone nor by e. mails. When asked about it, she justifies herself by saying that she "doesn't like corresponding via e. mail" or "hasn't find the time to call".
Most of her few friends who kept in touch with her over the years have realized that they need to send her at least 2 or 3 a. mails until she responds, or leave her 2 or 3 phone messages until she calls them back.
Some of them who got tired from "running after her" for so long have stopped attempting to contact her. This makes Amy feel that "everybody rejects" her, yet she is not ready to take responsibility for her behavior.

Why do people invite upon themselves exactly that which they are afraid of?
Linda and Amy are "typical" examples of those who bring upon themselves exactly that which they are afraid of. They operate in the exact manner which boomerangs back at them, causing them to feel exactly what they are afraid of: Linda "does" everything to make others be angry at her, while Amy behaves in ways which perpetuate her feelings of being rejected.

Lessons People Should Learn - but Don't!
Why do people "do it to themselves"? Why don't they learn whatever it is that they should learn?
The reason being, that many are not aware of how they behave with and come across to others. Their fears drive them to behave in the exact way that causes them to be afraid in the first place. This is the way they "know themselves"; this is the "self-image" they have created for themselves: Linda sees herself as a person who others are angry at; Amy views herself as a woman who is always being rejected. Both are afraid to make a change in their life, since they don't know "who they will be if they change".
This might sound odd, but the truth of the matter is that many behave in one way or another according to the image they have developed for themselves, and even if this "self-image" hurts them more than helps they don't have the courage to stop their self-hurting behavior and make a change.

Becoming aware of your unawareness
As the examples of Linda and Amy show, such self-sabotaging behaviors perpetuate themselves over and over again. The problem is that those behaving like Linda and Amy often do so without being aware of their behavior and of the reason driving them to behave the way they do. This is the way they know themselves; they don't know better.

In order to make a significant and positive change in their behavior (life, work and relationships) they need to become aware of whatever it is that they haven't been aware of until now.
This is quite tricky, since how do you become aware of what you were not aware of until now?
The answer is:

* You make a conscious decision to look inwards and understand what drives you to behave the way you do (which sabotages you time and again);

* You get up the courage to realize a host of factors which you might not have had the courage to realize until now (for example, that by your behavior you "invite" anger or rejection).

* You take the time to contemplate and reflect about your behavioral and attitudinal patterns which you have been using over the years. Such a reflection enables you to understand, once and for all, what you have "gained" by behaving the way you did (As much as it might sound ridiculous, your self-sabotaging behavior might be a way for you to get attention from others - although a negative one!).

Becoming aware of what you were not aware of until now is the only way for you to initiate a conscious change in your behavioral patterns. Such a change will enable you to stop behaving in self-sabotaging ways and to free yourself from your fear of anger, rejection or whichever fear has become part of the self-image you have created for yourself.

Doron Gil, Ph.D., a Self-Awareness and Relationships Expert, is a university teacher, workshop leader, counselor and consultant. He has lectured widely on these and related topics at conferences world-wide, taught classes to students, gave workshops to parents and administrators and is the author of: "The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship". Available as e-book and paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Awareness-Guide-Successful-Intimate-Relationship/dp/143925141X/
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Monday, April 1, 2013

Do Not Let Your Anxieties Overcome Your Motivation

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When you want something to change in your life, you have to take actions in order to bring about that change. The motivation that will drive you to reach your destination springs from focusing on your goal at all times. The outcome of your actions and the final outcome will spur you on to be on track.
True motivation takes birth when you desire something from the depth of your heart and are willing to leave no stone unturned to achieve it. Anxieties and obstacles are just minor distractions that you have to overcome in order to emerge victorious in your endeavor. The key to being relaxed while trying to achieve something is to brainstorm and come up with ideas regarding things that could possibly go wrong. When all bases have been covered, probable solutions and precautions to avoid the problems can help a lot. Also, having someone to help when you are surrounded by possible disastrous situations can also help boost your self-confidence.

Make yourself accountable to someone so that you do not slack in your duties. The fear of failing is most pronounced when you start worrying and let negativity pervade your thoughts. Know in your heart that you can achieve the thing that you have set out to do and also remember that you are prepared to face any type of situation or hindrance. Fear, worries and anxieties only keep you from performing at your peak potential. Be so engrossed in what you are doing that you do not have time to worry.

Plan everything in advance. Schedule tasks that seem more difficult for the time of day when you feel more energetic. Getting something done well is also motivating in itself. Know what drives you to transcend the limits of the possible and achieve something extraordinary.

It is also necessary to take time off when you are too stressed by your work or enterprise. In such a way, you will feel more refreshed and rejuvenated to attempt more difficult tasks. Just visualize the outcome of your undertaking and imagine yourself as successful. This will create a positive impact on your psyche and drive you further.

Do your research well and be extra careful in sensitive matters. When you know that anything that could possibly go wrong has been dealt with already, you can get some peace of mind. Be ready to ask for help when you need it.

There might be several commitments that demand your attention. Be sure to prioritize and deal with the tasks that are most important first.
Get rid of things that distract you and keep you from concentrating your total attention on the task at hand. Set some time aside for the distractions. The fear of failure is the thing that creates the most anxiety.

Always be ready to accept your failure, learn from your mistakes and move on to not make a similar one in the future. Do not let your anxieties grow. Make your motivation so strong that your anxieties seem futile and puny in comparison.
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