Stop Planning - Start Doing

By Christina Richard

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Have you ever hesitated to apply for a job because you thought you weren't good enough? "I'll study a bit more", you'd tell yourself. "I'll have to acquire more experience. Right now, I'm not ready." Or maybe you've been thinking about starting a new business, making it on your own. You're so tired of having a boss, of not being able to make your own decisions. Or have you found yourself dreaming that you could be a painter, a traveler or an actor. How marvelous it would be to do something you like for a living. But you never had the guts to give it a go, because you thought you weren't good enough.
Well, you were so wrong. If other people can do it, so can you. "Yes, but they know what they're doing", you might say. No, they don't. Most of them just took a chance and did their best. Because this is how things are done. If you wait around until you're ready, someone else will take your place. Not to mention you'll never do anything, because you're never ready. That's why you're stuck with a job that doesn't satisfy you anymore: because you're afraid to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
Being afraid of the unknown is natural. It's what kept our species going. Running away from a savage animal or a strange tribe member is a self preserving instinct. But we don't live in tribes anymore. While a new job or a stressful situation might be a little unpleasant, it is surely not life-threatening. You have to understand and accept your fear, but don't submit to it. The reason why human beings have evolved so much is because they pushed themselves in spite of their fears. That's what you should do too, if you don't want to spend the rest of your life stuck in the same place.
One of the self sabotaging mechanisms we all use is the "lack of preparation" excuse. But no-one is a hundred percent prepared. You've done enough learning, studying and preparing. You know everything you need to know. No amount of courses, exams and diplomas will prepare you for what's to come. Learning is inaction. You are fooling yourself that you are taking steps towards your goal, but what you're really doing is keeping yourself stuck in the early stages. A surgeon who only operates on a computer is not a surgeon. An actor who knows all the lines by heart but never steps onto a stage is not an actor. You have to really be there, in the middle of it all, if you want to learn something. Because learning is done on the job. The only way up is to act.
Are you afraid to make mistakes? We all are. And we all make them. Are you afraid to make a fool out of yourself? We all do. That's how we learn. And that is how we become exceptional.

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Dealing With Adversities

 By Tony Fahkry 

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Do you ever think of your problems as unending? Do you feel that at every step of life, your adversities are pulling you backwards? If so, you are not alone! A wise man once said that the pains and hurting we go through are inevitable but misery is optional. It is up to you to decide the amount of affliction your pain will impose on you and people around you. Here are some of my thoughts that I would like to share, which might help you turn hardship into an optimistic experience.
Adversity is an indication, Not a Cause
If you are encountering adversities constantly, it is a sign of some deeper problem. You recently lost your job and are finding it devastating. But have you sat back and reflected over what exactly made you lose it? How did you become dispensable? Did you choose the right career in the first place? Likewise, if your loved one or you are sick, try to find out why the illness happened. Are you leading an unhealthy lifestyle? Is your environment the cause? Or is it just your attitude? Just like physical pain is a sign of some trouble, your hardship is a sign of some other deeper problem. Even though your foremost priority is to take care of the problem at hand, you must make mental notes of root cause of the adversity you are facing. Until you deal with the root of your problem, you will continue facing similar situations.
Adversity Teaches You Valuable Lessons
We all are leading fast paced lives. We hardly pause and stop to appreciate the people around us. Adversity often comes as an awakening of the treasures that we overlook in our day-to-day life. These treasures, more important than money and other material possessions we own, include our family, friends and our health. Unexpected financial losses educate us that money should never be the base of life's happiness. An illness makes us realize the importance of good health and disciplined living and makes us humble. An unexpected loss in family makes us value birth cycle, death and life. These things might seem superficial, but it is important to learn from challenges if you do not want to let your problems take over your life.
Adversity as your Guide
Many times, adversities knock at your door to give hints that it is time to change your path. For example, when someone you love leaves you, it is useless blaming yourself (or that person) and sulking. You should instead take it as an indication that you need to seek a fresh and more enlightened bond that is constructive and more meaningful. You can also devote your time in other pursuits of life for the time being.
Confucius said, "I was complaining that I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet". This saying is so meaningful and true. Instead of getting bogged down because of your own problems, you should pay attention to the people who happily live on, and even do well, despite all odds. When you open eyes and glance at the bigger world, you will be glad to know how you have been treated so well in your life.
We all face adversities that knock us down at times. Here are some of the ways I have found to step back on my feet, whether it relates to life's circumstances, or my own shortcomings.
1. Rising Again - One of my favorite proverbs is the one that says, "Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again." I would keep on reflecting on this verse several times when I was going through a tough time. I would tell myself to get back up and would constantly think about how my character is not determined by the fall, but by whether I rise again or not.
2. Remembering who you really are - It is crucial to never lose vision of who you really are.
3. Spending time with people who matter - You should spend time with your loved ones who care about you and encourage you. You should try not to let things bothering you get bottled up inside you, but rather face them and deal with them. Sharing problems with friends and family gives you motivation and strength. Your life's journey is not supposed to be lived in loneliness.
4. Find out what makes you who you are - In your life time, you get to a point where you realize who you are, independent of your performance in work, and other responsibilities. In today's culture, which is mainly performance-oriented, I would suggest that you see yourself autonomous from your performances. Most probably you will end up performing better from this perception, anyway. Try to see yourself in perfect light.
5. Don't go overly pensive, but keep going on. It's easy to become excessively introspective. Some people struggle with this very thing at many times, however one must focus on what they want to be, and not on the shortcomings, and learn to walk as if they are already there!

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3 Techniques to Calming Yourself Down

 By Georgiana Carollus 

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Do you often get stressed and feel emotionally out of control? Do you find yourself spiraling down and have trouble pulling yourself out of this spiral? Here are three stress management techniques to help you when you are feeling overwhelmed.
One of the most effective techniques to calming yourself down is deep breathing. Breathe in through your nose to the count of three. Count to three and then slowly exhale through your mouth like you're blowing on something hot to cool it, again to the count of three. Continue with a few more deep breaths. If you begin to feel light-headed, pause and slow down your breathing.
Why does deep breathing help? Taking deep, cleansing breaths lowers blood pressure, pulse, and respiration rates. Additionally, it helps promote the release of serotonin, the feel-good neurotransmitter, into the bloodstream. Many benefits for something that takes hardly a minute!
Another effective technique to calming yourself down is thought-stopping and thought-substituting. Your thoughts generate your emotions. If your thoughts are generating extremely unpleasant emotions that are taking control of you, you need to stop those thoughts. Arguing with yourself about how you are feeling and how you think you should be feeling very rarely works. Your mind is a master debater and can out-argue you nearly every time! The better course of action is to deliberately stop your thoughts. Once you start becoming upset, yell to yourself internally (unless you're alone and can yell out loud), "Stop it!" or "Go away!" or "Next!" or even "Happy, happy, happy!" For some people, singing a song can stop those thoughts.
When you have shut down those negative thoughts, substitute a train of thought that is more pleasant for you. You may want to think about your favorite place, someone you love, music that you enjoy, or something that you find funny. The mind cannot hold two thoughts at the same time, so replace the negative chatter with something more positive. Crowd out those negative thoughts and notice that you begin to feel calmer.
A final technique for calming yourself down is to get support and share what you're going through. Talk to a friend who will let you vent. If a friend is not available, then be a friend to yourself. Give yourself the support that a friend would give you. Talk positively to yourself and give yourself comforting and encouraging messages, such as "This is hard but you're doing great!" or "You've done this before and you can do it again!"
The next time you feel overwhelmed, remember to breathe deeply; use thought-stopping and thought-substituting; and get support from others and yourself. Once you feel calmer, you will be in a better position to deal with whatever caused you to feel stressed in the first place.
A final note - these techniques are not just for instant stress relief. Practice these stress management techniques in your daily life as well, and watch your overall stress level decrease!

As a personal and spiritual coach, Georgiana Carollus has a keen interest in inspiring people to recognize their own brilliance and to treat themselves as well as they treat their friends and loved ones. She offers resources and coaching to help people establish a more caring and supportive relationship with themselves at http://www.FriendYourselfProject.com. Sign up to receive a free Daily Moment of Inspiration!

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How Will You Know When You Are Successful?

 By Kerry A Flinders 

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We all want to be successful.
We want to be successful in our relationships.
We want to be successful in our careers.
We want to be successful in our lives... period!
The problem is... what does "success" actually mean to you?
To just you?
If you don't know what "success" means to you then how do you expect to know when you've become successful?
Crazy question, isn't it?
Have you ever thought about it?
People who have clear definitions about what success means to them usually always end up succeeding.
People who simply "want to succeed", but have no definitions about what success means to them... well, they always seemed trapped in the "trying to be successful" phase of everything.
Aren't you tired of trying to so hard, and still not being successful?
Here's what you need to do:
Take out a piece of paper.
Make columns and list the areas of your life that are important to you. Career, relationships with specific people, personal, spiritual... whatever categories are important to you. Be as specific as you want to be. Break your life down into as many columns as you can think of that are important to you.
Now sit and think a moment on each column. Define what success will look like in each of these areas when you attain it.
For example, in 'Career', perhaps you write down, "Become a manager by the time I'm 30".
Or in 'Relationship With Significant Other' you might write down, "Communicate well, show affection for one another, date night once a week."
Just sit there for a bit and think about what success will look like for you when you achieve it.
Maybe in 'Personal' you write down, "Own a 4 bedroom house. Own a black Mercedes. Go on a yearly vacation."
I don't know what you need to write down. You need to think about each thing and you need to decide what success will look like.
Remember you can't really become successful until you have defined what success actually is for you.
So take the time to actually do this exercise. You might be surprised to find out that things you thought you were far from being successful with you are actually already successful with it.
Or you might discover that the things you "thought" you wanted success in you don't actually care much about.
Whichever way it goes, spend some time with yourself and be honest. Remember too that this list can change over time. Things tend to happen in life that makes you need to update this list every so often. Don't be afraid to change the game plan.
Don't be afraid to succeed!

Kerry A Flinders is the founder of Kerry Flinders Hypnosis & Life Coaching. Kerry is dedicated to helping others achieve their goals and move forward in life, easily. At www.kerryflindershypnosis.com you can find Life Coaching Programs for every budget, as well as hundreds of Hypnosis Downloads to help you make changes easily.

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The Concept of Creative Confidence

 By Gabriella Trujillo 

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How much creative material and ideas do we feel capable of producing in a given day or for a given project? Some people believe their talents and abilities reside elsewhere. My be their interest revolve around more practical sets of instructions, mechanisms and standards. A rout that is there to be followed and never challenged or overlook. But as David Kelley of IDEO tried to convey in his March 2012′s TED Talk the spark of creativity does exist inside every one of us. Many everyday factors play a role in the dampening of the innate creative ability of humans. In our human society, where everything from the behaviors, personality and expectations for success are already well mapped out, it becomes a great challenge to develop in more depth what Kelley calls thecreative confidence or, as I understand it, the confidence in our natural ability for creative expression.
We should not think of creative as that pertaining just the realm of the arts. All fields need, benefit, rely and gain relevance not in a small part because of the creativity and ingenuity of humans. Creativity is about looking at something; an object, a problem, a situation, from new and original perspectives and finding innovative solutions. We need to embrace our creative consciousness. We need to value our human creative ability. We need to appreciate this ability as part of our everyday lives and take it even farther.
It is a challenge but one worth taking, in a process of self- assertion that will only move us closer to attaining our true potential and the posibilities of our field.
Yes, we are all capable of harnessing creativity to solve problems and find innovative ways to see and interpret the world around us. We just need to move away from the common assumptions about what type of people or personality has the creative gene and develop our innate ability to experiment and discover, imagine and create reality, which goes way beyond the realm of the arts, and into our everyday lives and a true knowledge of ourselves.
Only by gaining confidence in ourselves as creative thinkers and problem solvers is that we'll train our minds to develop stronger ideas and infuse our professional careers and personal lives with innovation and the trill of self-discovery and self-efficacy*.
You may see and listen to this TED Talk by following this link:
http://www.ted.com/talks/david_kelley_how_to_build_your_creative_confidence.html
(* a term presented by Kelley as described by Dr. Bandura)

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Trust Your Gut - It Will Make All the Difference

By Lisa Ryan  

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"You have to trust in something: your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life." Steve Jobs
When I lost my job in October of 2010, I had a choice: I could pound the pavement, searching for a new sales job (and probably find one that was pretty decent), or I could pursue dreams that were on my goal list in May of 1989 - to become a professional speaker and published author. Even though it was very scary, I decided to trust my gut and go for it. Though the road was difficult and the challenges many, that single decision has profoundly impacted every area of my life for the good.
Think about what happened to Steve Jobs after a very public firing from Apple Computer. Instead of wallowing in despair and disappearing from the public eye, he went on to create several businesses including Pixar and NeXT. He produced innovative products and eventually was rehired at Apple where he revolutionized technology with the development of iTunes, the iPod, iPad, and the improvement of the Apple line of computers.
JK Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series was fired from her job as a secretary because she was taking too much time off to write her books. Her former boss was quoted as saying, "We made the right decision to sack her, and I wouldn't be surprised to see her come crawling back here for her old job once this Harry Potter thing blows over." JK Rowling trusted her instinct to pursue something that she loved, even though it cost her a job, she went for it anyway. Do you think her d changed her life, just a little?
If you got caught up in the economic downturn and are currently on the job market, are you searching to do the 'same old, same old' thing, or is it time to trust your gut and try something else? If the doors you are trying to enter keep closing on you, and you're not having success, you may want to step back and reconsider if you are on the right path to being with. This may end up being the ideal time to 'kick it up a notch' and make a dramatic change.
What would you like to do but "can't?" What excuses are you using? What's holding you back? Take a moment, right now, and imagine what life would be like if you achieved your dreams. What would it look like? How would it feel? Who would you share it with? Where would you live? Experience the emotion of your success. Do you believe it can happen now? If not, do you believe that I believe in you?
Trust my belief in you and take a baby step towards your dream. Every step gets easier and before you know it, you're there. Congratulations!
Have fun,
Lisa
If you're still making excuses for all the reasons you can't move forward, I only have two words for you - STOP IT!!!

Lisa Ryan is the Chief Appreciation Strategist with Grategy. She is the author of "The Upside of Down Times: Discovering the Power of Gratitude" and she is featured in the documentary, "The Keeper of the Keys" with Jack Canfield, Marci Shimoff, and John Gray.
Learn more about Lisa Ryan at http://www.grategy.com

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What's the Price of Success?

By Linda Binns  

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One energy principle for success that's not often talked about is the principle of sacrifice. That sounds terrible doesn't it? Just the word sacrifice can create resistance and it doesn't sound very positive does it? What this really means is that to receive what you want then you must be willing to put in the energy. In other words, you have to be willing to give up something in return for what you want. Let's take an Olympic athlete. If they want to win a medal and be the best what do they have to do? They have to train like an Olympic athlete. That means not just train when they feel like it, or train like anyone else. If they want to be the best in the world that's the effort they have to put in - more than anyone else, right?
They not only have to train extensively, but there are certain things they may have to give up. For example, to maintain the body of an Olympic athlete, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be able to go out partying with friends every Friday night. They have to give up any idea of failure. They have to make their training and fitness regime their priority.
So how do you apply this? Well, let's take the example of being in debt again - just because it's something that comes up so frequently these days. If you are in debt, and you start changing how you see debt and how you feel about it, and you forgive yourself for getting into debt and for the struggles you've had and for not knowing what you didn't know, you'll open yourself up to solutions. You may be introduced to a financial planner or a financial book or something that can help you come up with a specific plan that will get you back on track. And in order to get back on track quickly, you must be willing to sacrifice something. Perhaps you have to give up your daily coffee at Starbucks, or the need to buy a new pair of shoes every month. Perhaps you decide to sell some items to help you generate some money to put towards the debt. Perhaps you take on an extra job.
In other words, the debt is not just going to miraculously vanish just because you've set the intention to be debt-free. You'll have to DO something or go without something for a while. And then, once the debt is clear and you feel you are back on track then you will want to maintain that, so you'll have to make sure that you sacrifice the way you have dealt with money in the past so that you can appreciate and grow and build your financial future now.
It's a necessary part of growth and a necessary part of success. To get what you want, you may have to release something. It's also important to know that if you are holding on too tightly to what you already have, you will never get what you want if you are holding on so tightly. You have to let go so that what you want can come to you.
This is the principle of sacrifice - what are you willing to put in or give up in order to have what you want?

Linda Binns is an Energy Coach and Mentor, helping professional women and women business owners achieve work-life balance and freedom by identifying and releasing whatever is holding them back.
For a FREE report on 3 Simple Things That Will Take You From Stuck to Unstoppable, and subscription to FREE ezine and energy tips, go to http://www.EnergeticEdgeExpert.com.

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Self Esteem Building Tips

 By Susan B Ward 

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If you are suffering with a distinct lack of self-esteem and confidence right now, you need to pull yourself out of the slump you have found yourself in. It is easier said than done, of course, but with these helpful tips, you will find that you will soon be feeling back to your normal self in no time at all.
1. Appreciate yourself! Come on now; give yourself a break! Think about all of those certificates that you have earned over the years! Who cares if it was just for the dancing school that you went to when you was 8 or the school swimming team that you was a part of in high school; you were good at things and you still are! You should be happy and proud of all of your achievements over the years and sometimes, you just need to get out that old photo album or certificate folder and remind yourself of how fabulous you were and still are!
2. Socialize! Sometimes all it takes for you to feel better is some time out with friends. This doesn't have to mean a particularly drunken Friday night or an expensive dinner somewhere. Why not just have a lazy night at yours and invite all of your friends over for a pizza and a bottle of wine or two. Being alone in your own company is one of the worst things that you can do when you are suffering with low self-esteem and confidence as you will have time and space to criticize everything about yourself. Hang out with people that you like and trust and you will soon remember how it feels to be good enough.
3. Acceptance. Sometimes you just have to remember that everyone makes mistakes every now and again. There is no need for you to berate yourself or lessen your self-worth! You may have weaknesses but at the same time, you have strengths too. There is an incredibly fine line between constructively criticizing yourself and then just being plain critical of everything you do. Who cares that you are no good with numbers? I'm sure you can make a great dinner party for six people without even batting an eyelid.
4. Have a positive mental attitude. If you think everything is going to go wrong, there is a good chance that it will do. There is nothing wrong with thinking on the bright side every once in a while and if that means getting your hopes up everyone now and then; do it!

Susan is a full-time freelance writer. She is an avid traveler and reader and enjoys writing on health & fitness, travel, parenting, relationships and personal development.

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6 Secrets To Combat Work Stress

By Jessie Malory  

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Work stress is something that many employees find themselves taking time off for. However, it is also something that is possible to avoid relatively easily. Here are just six ways to help combat and eliminate stress in the workplace.
Schedule Regular Massages
Massages are a great way to help the body relax and unwind. Professionals locate the areas of the body where the tension is held and remove the knots, eliminating the tension and the stress felt from that. They also help to reduce the blood pressure and reduce pain felt in various parts of the body. This is not just about someone pampering his or herself; there are certain massages that are better for this than others and it is possible to have them prescribed by a doctor and see a professional and licensed massage therapist - this way the cost is covered by medical insurance.
Exercise Regularly
Exercising is good for the body and something that the body needs every day. It not only helps to keep the muscle moving but also leads to the release of endorphins and serotonin in the brain; chemicals that help with promoting happiness and pain relief. Being happier will help with reducing the stress felt in the workplace. It is a great idea to start exercising on a lunch break, even just for 10 or 15 minutes. This will help to release the endorphins to combat the problems experienced during the morning and be ready for the afternoon.
Delegate Tasks
As people move up the career ladder, they are given more responsibilities. That does not mean that everything has to be done by them personally. Delegating tasks will help to reduce the workload and, in turn, the stress experienced in the workplace. Start the day by looking at the tasks that need to be done and give some of them to others who work on lower levels of the same department. There will be some have to be done by one specific person but not everything.
Get Enough Sleep
The body needs sleep to function and trying to get through a day on little sleep will mean that the productivity levels are much lower. Lower productivity then leads to feeling like the tasks are harder and there is more to get through, which leads to stress at work. Set up a relaxing bedtime routine and exercise during the day to help the body relax on a night. As the body unwinds and sleeps, the brain will have the chance to relax and be ready for the next day.
Work More Efficiently, Not Harder
There is no need to work hard to be efficient. Having an organized workplace will help to organize the working day more, leading to more work being done and a stress-free day. There are plenty of books available on time management and how to become more productive in the working day, which are worth looking into.
Take a Vacation
Finally, take some time off. There is no need to work five or six days a week, 52 weeks a year; in fact, it will not do the body any good. Have some time away from work - and away from emails and anything to do with work! - and relax. This could be on a vacation somewhere or just in the home.

Jessie Malory writes for Massage Envy Spa, Thousand Oaks, where you can get an hour long keyword for $49. Visit their website today at. http://expertmassagetherapy.com/thousandoaks/

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Solving Problems In Life

 By John B Coyle 

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Each one of us has a chance in life to make it what we want, the trouble is, recognizing the opportunity when it arrives----in life, if you go down a street one day you become impressed with nothing and, end up marrying it or something stupid like that. The trouble is we are not all blessed with the right amount or perception. Take an agent I once had who offered me a stand up gig in a war zone! "Look, Harry," I said "the other side has also got bombs that can see in the dark and read maps!" I thought I had made a good case for turning the gig down but Harry had other ideas. "Don't be ridiculous, John! Who the hell would want to waste an intelligent bomb on a comedian?" You see, people like Harry crop up all over the place in people's lives---in the end, the truth is, we're better off without them and making our own decisions as to what direction we want to go in. No how to books, no backwoods philosopher, no street smarts can do that for you----only ourselves can do it---so, believe in yourself and go for it and you will accomplish all that you have in your dream.
Of course, the smart guys say, you need our help, we're the professionals! Professionals in what? Crossing the street? Dozens of so called self help groups and individuals have cropped up over the years selling uis theories and books and DVD's about how we can be more 'assertive' etc!! What rubbish! We do not need anyone to tell us how to use a street crossing unless we are in another country and they they do it differently there, which I doubt. These so called experts are the new disease of the 21st century. They remind me of a story from a woman who visited a market and thought she might become a writer, she saw a typewriter on a stall for $1. she passed the stall but went back to it, when she did, the typewriter now had a ticket on it for $4.! "That was only a $1. a minute ago she said to the vendor.
"Inflation, credit crunch, recession," said the vendor.
"If I said Polka dots often enough would you repeat it" said the woman. He didn't reply and she then said, "It's broken, the letter 'A' is missing!"
"That's its uniqueness." said the vendor, "a missing letter gives budding writers an incentive."
"To do what, kill themselves?" said the woman. "Where the hell can you write something without using the letter 'A' so that it will be understood?"
The vendor scratched his head. Ehm, China?"
An this is the attitude we encounter in our lives daily and which holds us back, we ourselves can break these chains and achieve our goals without paying charlatans for canned soup advice!
Till the next time, TC, JBC

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