By: Dennis Miller
One of first steps towards enjoying a more stress-free life is to know where it's coming from - be it a so-called external source or from yourself.
Your goal is not only to identify as many of your sources of stress as possible, but with as great as precision as possible, and to break your sources of stress down into the 'right size' sources. If you're not sure what's making you stressed, how are you supposed to cope with, or eliminate this stress? Similarly, if you lump all your stresses into one gynormous stress, how are you supposed to even want to begin to tackle your stress?
1:Brainstorm on a blank piece of paper anything or anyone (actions, people and attitudes) that you feel is contributing to your current stress level.
Start off with external actions and people. Then look at how you may, unconsciously or not, be contributing to your own stress, whether it's your mind-talk or attitude or your stress coping skills. For example, ask yourself the following:
-What actions (jobs to do, events and deadlines) do I associate with my stress? -What people (family, friends, colleagues) do I associate with my stress? -How does I contribute to my own stress (attitude/thoughts, feelings, behaviors/habits)?
2:Be as specific as possible, by asking yourself, the 5 W questions - who/what, where, when, why and how.
You want to know what specifically is stressing you so that you can tackle each of the sources of stress one by one, in a manageable fashion, and either eliminate or reduce them.
Anytime you sense that you are being too vague for it to help you, do a stress-buster, and go in for the specific. Classic examples are your stress excuses or cover-ups, such as "It's just a hectic time of year", or "Whenever I'm with Mary, we end up fighting about silly things" or "I just have a nervous personality, that's all".
3:Break down each Stress Source into a Manageable Stress Issue:
If you say simply, "my husband stresses me", you are unlikely to be able to reduce the stress you feel around him, unless you leave him. If instead you identify that "my husband stresses me when he talks about finances...", this already has become more manageable issue. And if you then identify that it's really only when you talk about the phone bill that it gets stressful, then you are able to focus in on one specific stress source.
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