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Monday, January 7, 2013

How To Worry Less


"A thousand worries fly over your head every day, it is only when they nest in your hair that you need to take action" Ancient Chinese Proverb.
Here are a few useful things that will help you worry less and keep those worry birds from nesting in your hair.
Some people worry more than others. And some of us seem to lurch from one worry crisis to the next in a perpetual fog of anxiety. The usual, and crushingly unhelpful advice for people who worry a lot is to stop worrying; "everything will be alright, just stop worrying." It's a bit like asking a nightingale to stop singing. It's what they do.
Here are a handful of useful things that will help you worry less:
Worry Diary and Worry Time
If you don't have the time or the inclination to leap off the deep end into full blown lifestyle changes perhaps keeping a worry diary and setting up worry time maybe what you need. This is a popular technique whereby instead of worrying about things as they come along, simply make a note of them somewhere safe, so that they are stored away and quite private. Designate a time at the end of every day for as long or as little as you want to go through your worry diary. You will find this achieves 2 things; it will allow you to record your worries without having to simply ignore them, which often creates anxiety and further worry, and secondly by the time you have sat down to go through your worry diary they wont seem as big as they did when they first came to you. This technique just puts you in a little bit more control.
People often find this a useful technique if they have busy timetables and can't afford to make bigger changes.
Cognitive Restructuring
This is a fancy name for thinking your way out of the forest of worries. It's a useful technique that comes originally from Existential Psychotherapy. Start by breathing deeply and steadily and examining your worries as if foreign objects from outer space. Hold them up to the light and recognize the fact that in 10 or 20 or even 50 years time your worries will be of little consequence. This is not to belittle you or your worrying but simply a useful exercise to put things back into proportion. Excessive worrying tends to do the opposite; it makes things bigger and more problematic than they actually.
Yoga and Meditation
Don't knock it until you've tried it. Many of our Counseling and Life Coaching clients decide to try one or both of these as a way of managing ongoing worries. If joining a beginner's class is not your thing, try forking out for a few individual lessons until you pick up a bit of confidence. Have a look at the link at the bottom of the page to see how people's lives have been transformed by making a few simple lifestyle changes. If worrying is what you do, get into yoga or meditation. I'd be surprised if it didn't help.
Lifestyle Changes
If Yoga and Meditation don't do it for you try some other form of lifestyle change. It maybe that joining a local kickboxing class, or a gardening group or reading circle or any other activity known to mankind might, just might, help to re-address the worry balance in your life.
These are just a handful of ideas and techniques to help decrease day to day worries. If you find yourself really wracked with worry and anxiety don't hesitate to get yourself some good professional help. There are many counselors and therapists who will be able to help.
Take a look at how Emese managed to overcome her worries and increase her self esteem and move from London to Kenya!
If you are stuck this might just be the thing you are looking for:
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