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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Stress In Relationships

By: KattChat

Though many couples experience problems during the course of their relationships, it is often how they deal with those problems that will either keep them together or, break them apart. A true test of love and respect is how people treat each other when problems arise and as difficult as it might be to remain respectful toward a person that has become such a comfortable fixture in a persons life, this constant upkeep can allow for the happiest of couples, even in the worst of times.
Many people feel that relationships today undergo a great deal of stress for many reasons; the changing roles of men and women; our fast paces society; both partners having careers while trying to raise a family and many more reasons that can be seen in modern day relationships. One of the most difficult aspects of these problems is that in order to resolve them the couple needs time together. Too often people find that even while living under the same roof they dont have the time to pour into lengthy discussions and when they do it seems a waste of the precious little time they have together because they perceive it as negative. Unfortunately, not attending the underlying problems that a couple may have will not resolve them; instead they are often brought up during other arguments; cause other problems that seem unfixable because the source isnt being addressed; or simply cause the couple to live in a state of unhappiness because they both know that something is wrong.
Though it does require participation, getting to the heart of a problem does not require dwelling on it for hours at a time. In fact, a wonderful way to prepare for an important discussion is to write down your personal thoughts about it, points that you would like to cover, on your own time; this will allow for a great deal more time focused on the issues rather than wasting time trying to think of key points.
A few basic recommendations before you sit down:
Write down your most important points so that you do not become flustered and forget.
Pick a time that is convenient for both you and your partner which allows you all the time you may need.
Choose a setting in which you and your partner will feel at ease.
Dont try to discuss anything if either you or your partner is not feeling up to it; this may just prove a waste of time if you are not both open to resolving your problems.
Learning how to better communicate with each other is a difficulty most couples experience at some point in their relationship. Often, if both people involved are committed to each others happiness, no problem is too difficult to resolve.
One basic problem that seems to occur in many relationships is the routine act of taking each other for granted. This can apply to hundreds of daily tasks and activities that become habit after enough time has gone by. Taking the time to thank your partner for the effort that they put into the relationship is extremely important. Quite often, a little attention and praise can go a long way toward creating a happy environment. Constantly feeling underappreciated can cause a great deal of unnecessary stress; in many cases one partner will have no idea that the other is having these feelings. While it is the responsibility of both partners to appreciate each other, it is also important to express any feelings which might not be apparent.
A regular argument amongst couples is that one partner should have known that the other partner was unhappy; while it is good to remain attentive to how your partner is feeling; if a problem is going unnoticed it becomes the responsibility of that person to voice it so that together, the couple can figure out how to solve it. Many people choose to keep feelings or thoughts to themselves because they either have no wish to bother their partner, or would like to see their partner recognize that the problem exists without their help. Though it is understandable this kind of action often causes more problems and leads to a pattern of behavior that divides the couple, rather than allowing them to get closer.
Many more problems exist that can cause unhappy situations for one or both people in a relationship and because of the unique dynamics so many people share it can be difficult to apply general solutions to a specific problem; however, here some key points, and recap, that seem to work for almost every couple in a wide variety of situations:
Discuss your feelings openly and be respectful of your partners as well.
Feeling comfortable does not excuse a person from taking another for granted; remember to treat your partner with respect and to show appreciation for their part in the relationship.
Voice your opinion; do not expect your partner to anticipate every thought you have; communication is an essential for any good relationship.
Be attentive to your partners needs and feelings.
Dont let problems divide you as a couple; find solutions together as a team.
Remember that you chose one another; even in the most horrible situations you should be able to work things out as long as you both care about each others happiness.
As long as there remains between you the will to provide a happy, safe and caring life for one another, stress can be kept to a minimum; allowing for your relationship to remain a successful one despite any difficulties that you face.

1 comment:

  1. Great tips! -- come visit!