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Friday, December 3, 2010

Reduce Stress by Forgiving Others

 By Evelyn Roberts Brooks


One of the most powerful tools you have is forgiveness, but most of us never learn how to use it. Instead, we hold onto grudges, we blame other people for where we are in life right now, we point fingers at our parents and say it's all their fault.
Grudges produce a ton of stress.
Would you like to have rapid stress relief? Learn to forgive.
Forgive your parents, your mate, your children and your friends for not being perfect. Forgive them for the mistakes they have made. Even if you feel your grudge is justified, because, for example, your parents were abusive in some way, simply forgive them anyway. Bless them with a prayer of gratitude such as, "I am thankful that you were my parents, and I understand you did the best you could with what you knew how to do at the time. You probably acted out of fear and ignorance. I love you and I forgive you."
Many people hold onto anger after someone dies. Their hurt thoughts include statements such as, "How dare you leave me!" So even if the person you can't seem to forgive is someone who passed away, forgive them for being human and mortal.
Forgiveness doesn't mean you dismiss harms done or say it doesn't matter if someone was abusive or cruel. Forgiveness is not the same as saying, "Oh, that's okay if you hurt me." That kind of statement shows a lack of self-worth, and is part of the pattern of codependency in which you look for another person to make you feel whole.
Forgiveness is such a powerful action that it can break the chains that bind you to the past. Those old thoughts keep you feeling stuck, and it is only by releasing them that you can relieve the stress and tension they cause in your present life.
A quick way to feel free and liberated is to readily forgive anyone and everyone who has ever stepped on you or cut you off from what you thought was rightfully yours. Once you are free, you have all that energy to devote to today. You can live your life, easy in your own skin and happy.
Try it. Right now, pick up the phone and call a friend you've been avoiding because there was a rift between you. Tell them something such as, "I forgive you for the things I felt you did wrong, and I hope you'll forgive me for the times I hurt you." Acknowledge that you were not one hundred percent perfect in the relationship, and avoid pointing fingers and making unfair accusations that the other person is entirely to blame for what went wrong between you.
If the person you would like to forgive is no longer living, then light a candle, hold an image of the person in your mind or look at their photograph and say your statement of forgiveness out loud, either using the above sentence or using your own words.
It's amazing how powerful the statement is. You will suddenly realize that you've been carrying around a huge boulder on your shoulders... and now you are free.
And now, to learn more about reducing your stress and for Instant Free Access to tips on being happier go to
Who is Evelyn Roberts Brooks? I'm an Amazon bestselling author of personal growth books, a motivational speaker, novelist and screenwriter.
Visit my blog on stress reduction, happiness and healthy relationships at

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