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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

5 Easy Ways to Deal With Stress in Marriage

by S.Brooks


You would think that the longer a couple is married to one another, the more they should be familiar with the way their partner thinks or reacts to certain situations. That is true, of course, but it is also true that some couples simply never learn to avoid stress in marriage, despite the many years of being together. Stress usually results from arguments due to differences in opinions, conflicts about how to raise the kids and managing finances. It can also come from being frustrated when expectations from one's partner do not get fulfilled.

There will be no harmony in a relationship, unless a couple learns how to manage stress in marriage. Here are five simple steps that may help you restore peace in your marriage by handling daily stress:

1. Talk with tact.

Too often, couples tend to take their partners for granted, and forget that even though they had been together for many years, they still have to treat each other with respect. Never criticize your spouse in public and never hurl verbal abuse to your partner even in a joking manner, especially, not in front of your children. Avoid stress that can come from verbal fights by exercising tact whenever you talk to your spouse.

2. Treat your spouse the way you used to during your dating days.

If your relationship has been quite bland lately, and if you feel the tension in the air, maybe it is because you have not really spent much private time with your spouse the way you used to. Remember the anticipation you used to feel during your dating days, when every date was filled with excitement? Why not bring back those days and treat your spouse the way you used to when you were just dating. Learn new ways to fall in love with your partner everyday and that will surely bring back the spark in your relationship.

3. Put some trust back in the relationship.

One of the most stressful issues in a marriage is the level of trust that each partner feels for each other. Honesty is crucial in keeping the relationship stress free. Knowing that you can openly speak your mind to your mate, and he can do the same can provide comfort and lessen the strain in a relationship. Gaining trust demands work, and it is only achieved by honesty and faithfulness to your spouse.

4. Spend quality time with your spouse.

Often, couples complain that there is simply not enough time to do the things that they want to do. Pressures at work, family responsibilities and financial matters can occupy much of their time. However, it is not that hard to create time to come together and revive romance in your marriage. You need to put this as one of your priorities, and perhaps go on a holiday alone with your spouse. You will find that by simply taking some time out, you will both feel refreshed and more able to handle the stresses of daily living.

5. Value intimacy.

Often, stress in marriage has its roots in a less gratifying sex life between the couple. This may be caused by busy schedules, the pressure of parenting or simply the lack of libido that could be due to a physical disorder. Whatever the cause of a less active sex life between a couple may be, the unreleased sexual tension can manifest into arguments that can add to more stress in marriage.

Find the time to share moments of intimacy with your spouse, no matter how busy your days may be. Do not forget date nights that should still happen even after many years of being married. If necessary, hire a babysitter so that you can have private moments together. Find ways to revive romance, even through simple gifts or short messages of love.

Stress in marriage can be prevented with a mix of humor, respect, time and most of all, love. There are countless couples who have been able to revive their relationship by finding ways to reduce stress in their daily lives.

S. Brooks is a specialized researcher focusing on providing valuable information & solutions for every day issues

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