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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Stressed Out Teenager

 by Andrew John


 When our children reach the age of 13-14 years old, their life changes. Now they become real teenagers with all good and bad stuff this brings. They will have to face enormous amounts of stress, often for the first time in their lives. They will have to pass their first "real" exams - ones that will decide about their whole future. They will fall in love for the first time in their lives and will probably have sex some time after that. Finally, they will be in danger of getting into alcohol and drugs problems and they will have to fight with the urge to just let go on life. And, worst of all, for the first time in their lives parents will not (and should not) solve their problems, but will only advise their children offering limited assistance.

School is the main source of teenagers' stress, and of all school reasons the grades are the most common. Unless you help your children cope with it, you risk with their health or even their lives - there are more than one teenager who committed suicide because of poor school performance. The point is that parents should not punish children for por grades, but offer them all help and assistance that might need to improve their grades, from teaching them by learning with them to hiring a decent tutor. If it is done regularly, not only in emergencies, your children's school stress will vanish in a few months and their overall school performance will become much better than anytime before.

Many major problems of teens comes from their peers. The pressure of the friends, neighbors and schoolmates may cause your children to make wrong choices about drugs, alcohol, crime or at least having sex at early age. You can't just shut teens from their peers - they would sooner or later run away and make all the wrong choices just to make you suffer. What you should do is offer all necessary information about the alternatives they have. Show them what they will be able to do if they finish school and what will await them if they drop out. Make sure they know not only what drugs do to humans, but also what people can do if they don't take drugs. In other words, provide all the facts and trust your children to make the right choices - you won't be disappointed.

The most difficult time in the life of a teenager is the moment of their "first time". Sex and relationships are capable of driving a wedge between parents and children that no one is then able to take out. While it is often children who make the mistakes, parents are also to be blamed. The problem is that all too often parents try to impose their vision of a good relationship and a good boyfriend or girlfriend on their children. The effects are easy to predict - children fiercely defend their independence and their right to govern their bodies and shun away their parents by doing just the opposite. What parents should do is to restrain themselves and simply give all necessary information to their children. Make sure that your children know the alternatives, especially that they are free to break the relationship, find new friends or change their social environment if they are not ready to have sex yet - they are the only masters of their bodies and there is no one who has any rights to it, even their loved ones. Only if you offer advice instead of orders, you can hope to influence your children and allow them to make the right choices. Even if they do make some mistakes, they won't be fatal - and making mistakes is perfectly ok as long as one can learn from them.

About the Author:
The Author: Andrew John writes about stress and how to deal with it naturally, without any form of medication whatsoever. For more information and detailed studies on how to achieve natural stress relief, go to: Natural Stress Relief.
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