Photo: ferarro.blogspot.com
What types of things frustrate you? For me, it tends to be the things which I cannot control, or do not understand. New computer applications, washing machines which go on the blink for no unknown reason, cars which just don't start; these are sorts of the things which really "bug" me personally. The fact that I do not understand them, and therefore cannot fix these things myself, invokes in me a feeling of helplessness and frustration.
We are of course all different. I know a lot of people who get frustrated with their golf, or their spouse, parents or children, their pets or even just the weather! It's easy to work yourself up into a frenzy of frustration. But in allowing yourself to get into such a sweat all that happens is that you feel a whole lot worse. Getting frustrated doesn't help matters one iota. Rather, it adds an additional layer of "pain" to the emotions which you are experiencing.
I often wonder how we can let this happen to ourselves. We are after all motivated in a very big way by the pain-pleasure principle. We instinctively avoid pain and seek pleasure. This is a basic human instinct. We do not like pain! When you think about it we only get frustrated and angry when we experience something with falls beneath the broad canopy of "pain". But that emotion of frustration only adds to our pain.
Some would argue that a display of anger is a way in which to get it all out; to release the "pain". For some people this may very well be the case; but for the majority I suspect that it only serves to add to the pain and to extend the time in which your emotions are hijacked by anger and frustration.
For example, when the washing machine goes on the blink, if you succumb to frustration and end up kicking it you are likely to:-
- dent the machine, so it doesn't look as nice
- this will remind you of your display of anger for years to come and thereby induce guilt or embarrassment - more pain, and
- hurt your toe - more pain
How can that series of consequences help? How can that "get it out of your system"? Surely it merely prolongs the period of anger and frustration.
How many times have you spotted a golfer giving way to a frenzy of frustration? I have seen clubs bent around trees and thrown in lakes. I have never observed it to assist in removing the pain, anger and frustration which that golfer was feeling.
If you want to stop getting angry the way in which to do so is to learn to see things from a different angle and to change the emotion which you are feeling. Anger is an interesting emotion as it has the ability to place a clamp upon your brain, squeezing itself tightly around the upper cortex and preventing logical thought. The very first step in controlling anger is learning to relax and thereby release that vice like grip. This is easily achieved with the help of hypnosis.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for happiness and well-being.
P.S. Are you fed up with feelings of frustration? Grab a free hypnosis mp3 from my website.
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