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Sunday, September 26, 2010

How to Begin Handling Your Self Talk and Feel Great

By: Larry Iverson


What's the best way to be in control of negative thinking and negative self-talk? This is a huge problem for the vast majority of people.

Psychological research at Stanford University has proven that when you criticize or pick on yourself, that negativity has over double the negative impact that criticism from another person has. Self imposed negative thinking can drag you down into despair faster than anything someone else could do.

Inside your head, you are always talking to yourself. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "People who talk to themselves were crazy." Wrong, we all talk to ourselves all the time. As a matter of fact, you have thousands of voices in your head. Your mother, your father, your preachers, your teachers, your friends, your relatives, heroes from fiction, heroes from TV shows and movies, and on and on. You have thousands of voices stored up in your memory bank.

Now, some of those voices are really beneficial, and other ones can get it in your way. The negative self talk needs to be taken care of because if you don't manage those little buggers, they will drag you down.

The reason you get caught up in these negative cycles, these bad thinking patterns, is that they become a habit.

The average neuron size in the human brain is only about one micron in thickness. For those things you do that are habits, your neurons can grow to be between three to six microns in thickness. That's a huge difference!

Just for fun, let's imagine that you get caught up again and again in one of your good friend's dramas. Over and over and over you get caught up in their whirlwind of negative thinking about their problems. You do this day after day, your buttons get pushed and you get angry. Well, what that means is you are training your brain to run this negative response better and better, because you keep commiserating with them day after day.

You begin to take that one neuron pathway, and you are growing it to be this great big three to six neuron thick pattern. You are training your brain to run the anger program better and better. And soon in many areas of your life, it just runs the anger response automatically. You need get a grip and break this negative, preconditioned response pattern you've just built.

So what do you do? How do you begin to change this lousy thinking pattern? First, you have to catch that anger pattern. You have to notice yourself doing it. Most people don't pay attention to their thoughts. You need to catch that pattern of your buttons getting pushed.

After you catch the lousy thinking pattern, you then send your brain in a new direction. Why do you do this? Because by taking the time to really focus your mind in a new direction, again and again and again, that repetition, that practice, will build a new positive pathway. Doing this repeatedly, the old large neuron path of negativity will start to shrink, and the positive neuron pathway will begin to expand. It will transform your life.

Those things that you know well, you know because of repetition. Can you ride a bicycle? If you can, the reason is because you did it over and over until you gained the skills. Can you fry and egg? You probably burned a number of them, but finally through repetition of a correct pattern, you now can fry one without ruining it. Can you write a paper? If so, it's because you did it repeatedly until you finally figured out the process. Can you drive a car? Can you speak in front of people? Can you play a musical instrument? If so, it's because you repeated the correct patterns again and again. This is no different. Those negative thinking patterns create big neurons for negativity, just as effectively as positive patterns do.

What you now is catch your thinking. When you are telling yourself upsetting or negative junk, begin to ask yourself things like "Instead of feeding the anger, I'm now switching to self management thoughts. Instead of blowing up when someone says something rude to me, I'm going to take a deep breath, calm down, and detach. When someone criticizes me or gives me a hard time, instead of feeling bad, or instead of getting angry and defensive, I'm going to remember to quiet myself, watch my thinking and change this pattern."

And so you practice that new pattern and you mentally rehearse over and over and over what you'll do instead of reacting negatively. And then, on the day that the negative event happens, guess what? You will have much more control than you ever did in the past. From your positive thinking practice, your positive focus, this new positive attitude, the neuron begins to grow larger, and the negative neuron begins to shrink.

So whatever you can do to grow that positive pathway by repetition and practice will make your day significantly better. You can do this, moment-to-moment, day-to-day. You can transform your attitude. You can have the kind of life you've desired. Do you want more money? Do you want better relationships? Do you want to feel better? Do you want to have more energy? It all can be yours.

Practice this process and it will help you control your mind and manage your life more effectively. This mental control process will help take you where you want to go.

The Best of Success to You.

Dr Larry Iverson is a Clinical Psychologist, author, speaker and coach. He recently released a 20 video series covering how to build an unstoppable success mindset. To get your free set of 20 videos go to Would you like to improve your health, money, happiness, career, relationships? These videos show you exactly how to rapidly eliminate negative patterns, so you feel great and achieve the results you want!

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